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My dick is so big that.... (NSFW) So when I was a young teenager, me and one of my cousins who was the same age, and some of our friends used to play this ridiculous game of oneupmanship about having a huge cock.
It would start just a little exaggerated, like:
and then it would quickly get ridiculous, like:
"My dick is so big that when I lay on my stomach with a boner, people on the other side of the planet wonder where the new mountain came from"
and eventually you'd get shit like:
"My dick is so big that you can walk across it and end up on Mars"
Anyway I just remembered how stupidly hilarious we all found this at the time and it made me
So, give it a shot and let's see who can come up with the best one.
I'm really bored, so please excuse the juvenile banality of this thread |
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I'm sick and tired of the Prince fans being sick and tired of the Prince fans that are sick and tired! | |
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Vainandy will be here in 5, 4, 3,....
LOVE this song! "not a fan"  yeah...ok | |
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I'm sick and tired of the Prince fans being sick and tired of the Prince fans that are sick and tired! | |
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2 men were using the bathroom 1 man says "That waters cold." The other replied, "and deep." The Most Important Thing In Life Is Sincerity....Once You Can Fake That, You Can Fake Anything. |
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[NSFW. No frontals. Use a link only - luv4u] http://www.taschen.com/media/images/480/page_fo_big_penis_book_08_0910191706_id_301688.jpg
I knew from the start that I loved you with all my heart. | |
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I'm sick and tired of the Prince fans being sick and tired of the Prince fans that are sick and tired! | |
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I LOVE long dicks but what the hell can anyone do with that??? It probably doesn't even get hard. "It's not nice to fuck with K.B.! All you haters will see!" - Kitbradley
"The only true wisdom is knowing you know nothing." - Socrates | |
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I'm sure it gets filled with enough blood to form a decent erection on an average sized penis, but it would still look flaccid on a mammoth dick even in an erection stage. Besides the increased blood flow to the shaft of the penis during an erection, the prostate and pubococcygeus muscle contribute to making a dick hard and rise upward by contracting the main artery connected to the penis thanks to the presence of nitric oxide in the blood. In a guy with an average sized penis, that would lead to the erection either sticking out horizontally from the pelvis or even rising upward from the groin, but because those PC muscles are really small, it wouldn't help raise a massively large penis because of the pull of gravity. That's why all those monster dick videos (even the true authentic monster dicks) show penises which look flaccid even though they may actually be erect.
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Why the fuck did I click on this??
Excuse me while i go gouge my eyes out... The salvation of man is through love and in love. - Dr. V. Frankl
"When you close your heart, you close your mind." - Michael Jackson (Man In The Mirror) "I don't need anger management, I need people to stop pissing me off"  | |
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"I don't think you'd do well in captivity." - random person's comment to me the other day | |
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Dick look like a burnt ruler. Fuck outta here. | |
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you guys are tho craaazzzeee. so am i sometimes.
look what i found
http://www.101funjokes.co..._jokes.htm
My dick is so big; it has tonsils. My dick is so big; it has bark. My dick is so big; it can only be measured in theory. My dick is so big; it has a horizon. My dick is so big; I can fuck the ocean. My dick is so big; sometimes it jerks me off. My dick is so big; that when I fly, it has to take the train. My dick is so big; FedEx won’t insure it. My dick is so big; it was impeached by Congress. My dick is so big; it’s got its own gang sign. My dick is so big; it could eat a horse. My dick is so big; Florida had to measure it twice. My dick is so big; it snubbed the Oscars. My dick is so big; it has a north pole. My dick is so big; it has gaskets. My dick is so big; it killed its ex-wife and got away with it scott free. My dick is so big; I rent it out for weddings and Bar-Mitzfahs. My dick is so big; I run three-legged races by myself. My dick is so big; my urologist is a Sherpa. My dick is so big; it’s not just famous, it’s IN famous. My dick is so big; it has a stunt double. My dick is so big; you must be at least 48 inches to ride. My dick is so big; that I look like its dick in front of it. My dick is so big; one side never sees the sun – it’s the dark side of my dick. My dick is so big; it has a vanity plate that reads 1 BG DK. My dick is so big; it has nostrils My dick is so big; I can fuck a car wash. My dick is so big; it has a nucleus. My dick is so big; it has a drink named after it. It’s called Slow Gin Dick.
this is just a portion of the list on the "Big Dick Jokes" site “Transracial is a term that has long since been defined as the adoption of a child that is of a different race than the adoptive parents,” : https://thinkprogress.org...fb6e18544a | |
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I think imma pass on that... "Aren't you even curious? Don't you want to see the dragon behind the door?" | |
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I dont have a dick but if i did my dick would be strong and big that i could bench press myself with my own dick.
My dick is so strong, long and meaty gymnast use my dick as balance beam. | |
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Yeah, I'm questioning why I'm here too. But since I am already, there was a funny scene on Reno 911 where an old guy said something to the effect of, "I have to sit down when I pee because my doctor told me to avoid lifting heavy objects!" [Edited 7/23/11 10:38am] | |
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a dick in the head cant beat a brick in the head....put it on 'em!! THE B EST BE YOURSELF AS LONG AS YOUR SELF ISNT A DYCK[/r]
**....Someti | |
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thread of the year
Always remember you're unique, just like everyone else. | |
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No, huge oversized dicks don't turn me on because they don't look real. I prefer average sized ones. Now, if the thread title was...."My dick is so hairy that.....", I would be all over it. Andy is a four letter word. | |
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Thank you, Dr. Dick. I'm sick and tired of the Prince fans being sick and tired of the Prince fans that are sick and tired! | |
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A young, beautiful woman introduces her new boyfriend to her parents... The boyfriend is charming, nice, very polite and all. But the father still looks worried. At the end of the dinner, the father takes his daughter boyfriend outside the house to talk to him : - Well, you know I only want my daughter to be happy, right? - Yeah sir, I know. - And I know she loves sex, and i want a real man that can satisfy her. She loves big dicks. - I haven't slept with her yet sir. - Hum do you actually ahve what it takes? She needs at least a 15 inches cock. - 15 inches?? Aw, don't worry sir, I'd do anything for love. I'd even cut some inches!
Everybody is somebody, but nobody wants to be themselves. | |
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Of course, what else!! My dick is so hairy that I use it as a washglove... Everybody is somebody, but nobody wants to be themselves. | |
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My dick is so hairy it has a wash and set appointment every two weeks at the beauty parlor. I don't want you to think like me. I just want you to think. | |
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awww gawd! ...
I'm all for dirty jokes...i need ta learn some...lol THE B EST BE YOURSELF AS LONG AS YOUR SELF ISNT A DYCK[/r]
**....Someti | |
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My bad! I knew from the start that I loved you with all my heart. | |
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