DAD:

There are Jews in the world.
There are Buddhists.
There are Hindus and Mormons, and then
There are those that follow Mohammed, but
I've never been one of them.
I'm a Roman Catholic,
And have been since before I was born,
And the one thing they say about Catholics is:
They'll take you as soon as you're warm.
You don't have to be a six-footer.
You don't have to have a great brain.
You don't have to have any clothes on. You're
A Catholic the moment Dad came,

Because
Every sperm is sacred.
Every sperm is great.
If a sperm is wasted,
God gets quite irate.

CHILDREN:

Every sperm is sacred.
Every sperm is great.
If a sperm is wasted,
God gets quite irate.

GIRL:

Let the heathen spill theirs
On the dusty ground.
God shall make them pay for
Each sperm that can't be found.

CHILDREN:

Every sperm is wanted.
Every sperm is good.
Every sperm is needed
In your neighbourhood.

MUM:

Hindu, Taoist, Mormon,
Spill theirs just anywhere,
But God loves those who treat their
Semen with more care.

MEN:

Every sperm is sacred.
Every sperm is great.

WOMEN:

If a sperm is wasted,...

CHILDREN:

...God gets quite irate.

PRIEST:

Every sperm is sacred.

BRIDE and GROOM:

Every sperm is good.

NANNIES:

Every sperm is needed...

CARDINALS:

...In your neighbourhood!

CHILDREN:

Every sperm is useful.
Every sperm is fine.

FUNERAL CORTEGE:

God needs everybody's.

MOURNER #1:

Mine!

MOURNER #2:

And mine!

CORPSE:

And mine!

NUN:

Let the Pagan spill theirs
O'er mountain, hill, and plain.

HOLY STATUES:

God shall strike them down for
Each sperm that's spilt in vain.

EVERYONE:

Every sperm is sacred.
Every sperm is good.
Every sperm is needed
In your neighbourhood.
Every sperm is sacred.
Every sperm is great.
If a sperm is wasted,
God gets quite iraaate!






So what are your thoughts? I have nothing against masturbation, but I've never been one for casual sex. It has to be meaningful before any of my sperm is put to use.

How about you? Ladies, your answers would be appreciated too, lack of sperm aside. I'm interested as to how many out there on the org like to sleep around and how many don't. No particular reason, I'm not a pervert, I'm just curious and this is after all anonymous, at least for most of us.





.
[This message was edited Tue Feb 11 2:49:15 PST 2003 by mrdespues]

absolutely great fooking film, that's what i say

mrdespues said:

Nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition.

ConsciousContact said:

great answer!

It seems no one wants to touch this thread with a ten-foot pole.

it's not the hand of god we haven't seen before, it's the hand of god on the dick of mankind that's taking me aback

i think we're a sorry little species for being unable to control our own numbers. it's a basic survival technique and we can't even master that

well i'm going to hell then, lol

"Is it about the hedge?"

Cosmic Canon:

Use it or Lose it



You need to know that your sperm dies either way. Call it God. Call it Human Nature. Whateva

In a Welsh accent- "what if he's got a pointed stick?"

almost forgot i have the meaning of life on video...but which tape did i tape it on...

We are now no longer the Knights who say Ni.
We are now the Knights who say... "Ekki-Ekki-Ekki-Ekki-PTANG! Zoom-Boing! Z'nourrwringmm!

Erik

"He was not at all afraid to be mashed into a pulp. Or to have his eyes gouged out, and his elbows broken. To have his kneecaps split, and his body burned away, and his limbs all hacked and mangled brave Sir Robin!"

"Now look here, you barge in here quite uninvited, break glasses and announce quite casually that we're all dead. Well, I will remind you that you are a guest in this house..."

"Shall we take our cars?"

Heh-heh. I forgot about that one.

Song: http://203.0.168.99/wwwsi...ery-sp.wav



There are Jews in the world.
There are Buddhists.
There are Hindus and Mormons, and then
There are those that follow Mohammed, but
I've never been one of them.
I'm a Roman Catholic,
And have been since before I was born,
And the one thing they say about Catholics is:
They'll take you as soon as you're warm.
You don't have to be a six-footer.
You don't have to have a great brain.
You don't have to have any clothes on. You're
A Catholic the moment Dad came,

Because
Every sperm is sacred.
Every sperm is great.
If a sperm is wasted,
God gets quite irate.


Every sperm is sacred.
Every sperm is great.
If a sperm is wasted,
God gets quite irate.

Let the heathen spill theirs
On the dusty ground.
God shall make them pay for
Each sperm that can't be found.

Every sperm is wanted.
Every sperm is good.
Every sperm is needed
In your neighbourhood.

Hindu, Taoist, Mormon,
Spill theirs just anywhere,
But God loves those who treat their
Semen with more care.


Every sperm is sacred.
Every sperm is great.
If a sperm is wasted,...
...God gets quite irate.


Every sperm is sacred.
Every sperm is good.
Every sperm is needed...
...In your neighbourhood!
Every sperm is useful.
Every sperm is fine.

God needs everybody's.
Mine!
And mine!
And mine!

Let the Pagan spill theirs
O'er mountain, hill, and plain.


God shall strike them down for
Each sperm that's spilt in vain.


Every sperm is sacred.
Every sperm is good.
Every sperm is needed
In your neighbourhood.
Every sperm is sacred.
Every sperm is great.
If a sperm is wasted,
God gets quite iraaate!



Addition:
DAD:
So, you see my problem, little ones: I can't keep you all here any longer.
GIRL:
Speak up!
DAD:
I can't keep you all here any longer! God has blessed us so much, I can't afford to feed you anymore.
NIGEL:
Couldn't you have your balls cut off?
DAD:
Hohh, it's not as simple as that, Nigel. God knows all! He'd see through such a cheap trick. What we do to ourselves, we do to Him.
GIRL:
You could have had them pulled off in an accident.
CHILDREN:
[talking]
DAD:
No. No, children. I know you're trying to help, but, believe me,...
CHILDREN:
Ohh...
DAD:
...me mind's made up. I've given this long and careful thought, and it has to be medical experiments for the lot of you.
CHILDREN:
Ohh. Oh. Oh...
CHILDREN: [singing mournfully]
Every sperm is sacred.
Every sperm is great.
If a sperm is wasted,...
[This message was edited Wed Feb 12 6:38:55 PST 2003 by yamomma]
[This message was edited Wed Feb 12 6:47:14 PST 2003 by yamomma]

MR. HARRY BLACKITT:
Look at them, bloody Catholics, filling the bloody world up with bloody people they can't afford to bloody feed.
MRS. BLACKITT:
What are we dear?
MR. BLACKITT:
Protestant, and fiercely proud of it.
MRS. BLACKITT:
Hmm. Well, why do they have so many children?
MR. BLACKITT:
Because... every time they have sexual intercourse, they have to have a baby.
MRS. BLACKITT:
But it's the same with us, Harry.
MR. BLACKITT:
What do you mean?
MRS. BLACKITT:
Well, I mean, we've got two children, and we've had sexual intercourse twice.
MR. BLACKITT:
That's not the point. We could have it any time we wanted.
MRS. BLACKITT:
Really?
MR. BLACKITT:
Oh, yes, and, what's more, because we don't believe in all that Papist claptrap, we can take precautions.
MRS. BLACKITT:
What, you mean... lock the door?
MR. BLACKITT:
No, no. I mean, because we are members of the Protestant Reformed Church, which successfully challenged the autocratic power of the Papacy in the mid-sixteenth century, we can wear little rubber devices to prevent issue.
MRS. BLACKITT:
What d'you mean?
MR. BLACKITT:
I could, if I wanted, have sexual intercourse with you,...
MRS. BLACKITT:
Oh, yes, Harry.
MR. BLACKITT:
...and, by wearing a rubber sheath over my old feller, I could insure... that, when I came off, you would not be impregnated.
MRS. BLACKITT:
Ooh!
MR. BLACKITT:
That's what being a Protestant's all about. That's why it's the church for me. That's why it's the church for anyone who respects the individual and the individual's right to decide for him or herself. When Martin Luther nailed his protest up to the church door in fifteen-seventeen, he may not have realised the full significance of what he was doing, but four hundred years later, thanks to him, my dear, I can wear whatever I want on my John Thomas,... [sniff] ...and, Protestantism doesn't stop at the simple condom! Oh, no! I can wear French Ticklers if I want.
MRS. BLACKITT:
You what?
MR. BLACKITT:
French Ticklers. Black Mambos. Crocodile Ribs. Sheaths that are designed not only to protect, but also to enhance the stimulation of sexual congress.
MRS. BLACKITT:
Have you got one?
MR. BLACKITT:
Have I got one? Uh, well, no, but I can go down the road any time I want and walk into Harry's and hold my head up high and say in a loud, steady voice, 'Harry, I want you to sell me a condom. In fact, today, I think I'll have a French Tickler, for I am a Protestant.'
MRS. BLACKITT:
Well, why don't you?
MR. BLACKITT:
But they-- Well, they cannot, 'cause their church never made the great leap out of the Middle Ages and the domination of alien episcopal supremacy.
NARRATOR #1:
But, despite the attempts of Protestants to promote the idea of sex for pleasure, children continued to multiply everywhere.

Check this site: http://www.toyvault.com/montypython/

Your mother was a hamster
and your father smelled of elderberries!

Thanks for your posts, guys.

Man, I bust my sacred nut onto many cracks of female ass. Every drop is put to good use.