johnart said:

Machaela said:

NDRU said:

you would hope to not ask, but people's minds are not always the same when they are dying

True ...again why it's very important to TALK during HEALTH ~ and talk often ...

exactly, base your decisions on what they say while healthy, then provide comfort when they are not healthy

Machaela said:

HotGritz said:

You gotta pity a person that even has to ask that to begin with.

NO ...you do not gotta pity them ...

Why? Pity shows I care. Maybe I was a bad wife to them when they were alive. Maybe it's my fault their laying on that bed dying. Maybe i fucked their best friend or something and the stress of it all was too much to bear. I KILLED MY SPOUSE!!! Allegedly.

Machaela said:

johnart said:

Efan said:

If they're dying in my arms a la Christopher Tracy at the end of Under the Cherry Moon [SPOILER ALERT!], I'd probably just say, "Oh, honey, don't speak! Conserve your energy!"

If it's a long, drawn-out affair, I'd probably just always have an excuse to change the subject. "Oh! The tea's ready!" or "Is it time for your medicine? I think so!"

Dying or no, do not put my passive-aggressiveness to the test.

It's a selfish and wrong request to make. It would be unfair to put someone you really love in that position.

What if they're like "Conserve my energy for what? I'm fuckin dying here."

That's when you just say something like, "See? You're delirious! Don't speak."

HotGritz said:

Machaela said:

NO ...you do not gotta pity them ...

Why? Pity shows I care. Maybe I was a bad wife to them when they were alive. Maybe it's my fault their laying on that bed dying. Maybe i fucked their best friend or something and the stress of it all was too much to bear. I KILLED MY SPOUSE!!! Allegedly.

MmmKay .... YOU can pity them then ...or perhaps pity yourself !

Efan said:

Machaela said:

HotGritz said:

Why? Pity shows I care. Maybe I was a bad wife to them when they were alive. Maybe it's my fault their laying on that bed dying. Maybe i fucked their best friend or something and the stress of it all was too much to bear. I KILLED MY SPOUSE!!! Allegedly.

MmmKay .... YOU can pity them then ...or perhaps pity yourself !

nah...self-pity causes pre-mature aging. Ima pity ole one foot in the grave dude.

Efan said:

johnart said:

What if they're like "Conserve my energy for what? I'm fuckin dying here."

That's when you just say something like, "See? You're delirious! Don't speak."

Oh see, I'd be like mf I'm dyin Imma SPEAK! Sit down.

Nothinbutjoy said:

Machaela said:

NO ...you do not gotta pity them ...

Truly! This topic came about after seeing a story on tv and when I heard it, dying or not, I wanted to smack and/or cuss out the dying spouse! I also thought of it the way NDRU did, comfort the dying, but I was still pissed the dying spouse would request such a thing. But now, after the discussion on this thread, if my hubby says some shit like that to me on his deathbed, I won't immediately hasten his death. (Read choke the living shit out of him)

Dying people say odd things sometimes ... sometimes very out of their norm

I have seen/heard it personally many times so knowing the healthy them gave me a far better perspective on what death and fear can do

OH LAWD!! this one is EASY

Ok, I won't remarry, but she didn't say anything about sex, right???

so...

"would you marry me? No, I was already an slave"...

JoeTyler said:

OH LAWD!! this one is EASY

Ok, I won't remarry, but she didn't say anything about sex, right???

so...

"would you marry me? No, I was already an slave"...

HHHAAAAA!!!!!!!

Sure, I would agree to it and it would it would be a lie...but who cares? It's not like they are ever going to find out.

NDRU said:

I would make them whatever promise they wanted me to make, but I would not necessarily keep it.

My feeling is you say a lot of things to dying people, and they are not all true, but they are the things that the person wants to hear. Dying people may not always mean everything they say either.

It's not the words and their strict interpretation, it's the comfort of loved ones.

This is closet to my thinking. I'd be reticent to make such a promise, but if I did it'd be strictly to comfort my dying spouse; I might not honor that promise.

i would make the promise if it made him die faster but i wouldnt keep it

[Edited 7/7/11 4:38am]