As any bride-to-be knows, making a good impression on one's future mother-in-law is vital in ensuring that the big day goes according to plan.

The email said: “It is high time someone explained to you about good manners. Yours are obvious by their absence and I feel sorry for you.

It went on: “Your behaviour on your visit to Devon during April was staggering in its uncouthness and lack of grace.”

It added: “If you want to be accepted by the wider Bourne family I suggest you take some guidance from experts with utmost haste. There are plenty of finishing schools around. You would be an ideal candidate for the Ladette to Lady television series. Please, for your own good, for Freddie’s sake and for your future involvement with the Bourne family, do something as soon as possible.”

The email said Miss Withers’ behaviour had been so rude that it had left the family dog, Bomber, traumatized, depressed and anxious.

Listing a litany of alleged transgressions, the email accused Miss Withers of staying in bed too late; complaining about the food; cracking inappropriate jokes about the family and failing to send a card thanking them for their hospitality.

It also said: "You regularly draw attention to yourself. Perhaps you should ask yourself why...It is vulgar.”

In addition Mrs Bourne apparently criticised her future daughter-in-law’s plans for the wedding and said her aspirations were outstripping her finances.

The email said: “No one gets married in a castle unless they own it. It is brash, celebrity style behaviour.

“I understand your parents are unable to contribute very much towards the cost of your wedding. (There is nothing wrong with that...)

“If this is the case, it would be most ladylike and gracious to lower your sights and have a modest wedding as befits both your incomes.”

And in a stinging pay-off she apparently remarked: “One could be accused of thinking that Heidi Withers must be patting herself on the back for having caught a most eligible young man. I pity Freddie.”

Mr Bourne, 29, who runs an online bicycle shop, Capital Cycles, refused to comment on the email last night but conceded the matter had been discussed within the family.

He said: “Obviously this has been discussed within the family but we are not commenting other than that.”

Mr Bourne would not comment on whether the wedding was still going ahead.

Meanwhile Mrs Bourne, who runs Whetman Pinks Ltd nursery near Dawlish in Devon, also refused to be drawn on the content of the stinging email.

Yesterday she was attending a Horticultural Trades Association (HTA) plant show at Stonleigh Park, Coventry, with her husband Edward.

Mr Bourne said: “We are aware of what is being said. I know it is very boring, very repetitive and very dull but we will not be making any comment and neither will my wife.”

Miss Withers, who has a 23-year-old sister, September, was keeping a low profile last night and there was no sign of her at the flat she shares with her fiancé.

Her parents, Alan and Sylvia, who live in Ledbury, Herefordshire, were also not available for comment last night.

Miss Withers and Mr Bourne have been together for several years and enjoyed an extensive trip across the United States in 2009.

[Edited 7/1/11 7:57am]

Do you think they'll make it down the aisle?

Well shes got style and wit when it comes to insulting someone. Better than the bland 4 letter words people resort to now a days.

Though, she is being overally critical, and thats her problem.

For all the suggestions made in the email, the reality is there is nothing at this point that girl could do to make that uptight future mother-in-law approve of her or like her.

I'm totally sick of reality television but this is a situation just BEGGING to made into a tv show!

They're DOOMED!!!

PurpleJedi said:

They're DOOMED!!!

Could you imagine how awkard family gatherings will be until that bitch dies?

SCNDLS said:

PurpleJedi said:

They're DOOMED!!!

Could you imagine how awkard family gatherings will be until that bitch dies?

Fuggetaboutit!!! It's over.

Although not to split hairs...if the bride and her family don't have alot of money and she is getting married in a castle, I can see why mommy thinks her baby boy is being taken advantage of! That mama bear gene kicked in big-time!!!

i think some of the things listed as being bad behavior by the bride to be are on point. bride to be sounds a bit self-centered.

but, the person sending the e-mail is merely a 'step-mother' to the husband to be, and as such, imo, really does not have the standing to act as 'mom' in this case.

What funny to me is that most of the points the groom's mom complained about are things you always hear people complaining about as being rude behavior. And the fact that she told the girl, in a way, to her face as oppose to talking about her behind her back, which people claim they would prefer except when someone actually does it. Damned if you do, damned if you don't.

But it is the bride's wedding and it's her day so if the groom is tolerating he is a grown man, he chose her as his life partner, so I guess at some point moms gotta let it go and zip it.

XxAxX said:

i think some of the things listed as being bad behavior by the bride to be are on point. bride to be sounds a bit self-centered.

but, the person sending the e-mail is merely a 'step-mother' to the husband to be, and as such, imo, really does not have the standing to act as 'mom' in this case.

I agree. If the bride to be is really as obnoxious as the stepmothers email indicates, then I think she was spot on to call her on it! The new bride sounds awful!

Me personally, I'm looking more at the fact that the bride didn't KEEP this within the family and instead chose to FORWARD it to her friends for show and tell. To me, that act alone tells me that most likely what the future evil step-mother-law is saying about the bride could possibly be true. Now the whole world knows about their family business when it should had been kept private. Perhaps this is a true case of "when keeping it real goes wrong". The mommy in law should had told this girl to her face her thoughts and feelings and not in writing.

PurpleJedi said:

SCNDLS said:

Could you imagine how awkard family gatherings will be until that bitch dies?

Fuggetaboutit!!! It's over.

Although not to split hairs...if the bride and her family don't have alot of money and she is getting married in a castle, I can see why mommy thinks her baby boy is being taken advantage of! That mama bear gene kicked in big-time!!!

But from other stories i've read the bride is still footing the bill for her part, the groom's not paying for everything. Looks like mama is telling her she needs to stay within her means, but if she's not paying for it she's outta line IMO and needs to keep her comments about the wedding and the bride's parent's finances to herself. Besides, we don't know that ANYTHING in the email went down the way the evil stepmother is portraying it, and MOST of what she listed sounds pretty damn petty.

missfee said:

Me personally, I'm looking more at the fact that the bride didn't KEEP this within the family and instead chose to FORWARD it to her friends for show and tell. To me, that act alone tells me that most likely what the future evil step-mother-law is saying about the bride could possibly be true. Now the whole world knows about their family business when it should had been kept private. Perhaps this is a true case of "when keeping it real goes wrong". The mommy in law should had told this girl to her face her thoughts and feelings and not in writing.

Maybe, BUT it's pretty common, normal for folks to forward personal things to their circle of friends for discussion. I've been a maid of honor and bridesmaid in TOO many weddings and every bride sent out emails discussing the crazy family drama that ALWAYS arises in these productions. I doubt she expected it would go viral or even thought that her issues with her crazy MIL would garner press coverage. I'd moreso blame her "friend" who violated her trust and put her family on front street like this. That's not cool.

SCNDLS said:

I understand your parents are unable to contribute very much towards the cost of your wedding. (There is nothing wrong with that except that convention is such that one might presume they would have saved over the years for their daughters' marriages.)

well, good thing there's nothing wrong with it!!

NDRU said:

SCNDLS said:

I understand your parents are unable to contribute very much towards the cost of your wedding. (There is nothing wrong with that except that convention is such that one might presume they would have saved over the years for their daughters' marriages.)

well, good thing there's nothing wrong with it!!

That shit was extra for no good reason. She already knows her parents aren't contributing what the hell that gotta do with her lack of manners???

SCNDLS said:

missfee said:

Me personally, I'm looking more at the fact that the bride didn't KEEP this within the family and instead chose to FORWARD it to her friends for show and tell. To me, that act alone tells me that most likely what the future evil step-mother-law is saying about the bride could possibly be true. Now the whole world knows about their family business when it should had been kept private. Perhaps this is a true case of "when keeping it real goes wrong". The mommy in law should had told this girl to her face her thoughts and feelings and not in writing.

Maybe, BUT it's pretty common, normal for folks to forward personal things to their circle of friends for discussion. I've been a maid of honor and bridesmaid in TOO many weddings and every bride sent out emails discussing the crazy family drama that ALWAYS arises in these productions. I doubt she expected it would go viral or even thought that her issues with her crazy MIL would garner press coverage. I'd moreso blame her "friend" who violated her trust and put her family on front street like this. That's not cool.

Yeah that's true, her friend that violated her trust and forwarded on the email, and no that was not cool at all, I agree, but had the bride not forwarded the email in the first place, then her friend wouldn't have had nothing to put on front street.

missfee said:

SCNDLS said:

Maybe, BUT it's pretty common, normal for folks to forward personal things to their circle of friends for discussion. I've been a maid of honor and bridesmaid in TOO many weddings and every bride sent out emails discussing the crazy family drama that ALWAYS arises in these productions. I doubt she expected it would go viral or even thought that her issues with her crazy MIL would garner press coverage. I'd moreso blame her "friend" who violated her trust and put her family on front street like this. That's not cool.

Yeah that's true, her friend that violated her trust and forwarded on the email, and no that was not cool at all, I agree, but had the bride not forwarded the email in the first place, then her friend wouldn't have had nothing to put on front street.

Girl, are you saying you ain't never sent an email you got with some BS in it and forwarded it to your girls saying: "Girl, look at this bullshit right here! That heffa crazy and she gon' make me cuss her out next time I see her funky ass!" ???

C'mon now. You gotta forward that shit so your friends can:

A. Keep you from fucking a bitch up on sight

OR

B. Understand why you and that bitch rolling around on the floor at the reception.

The email, according to the Daily Mail, went viral after Withers forwarded it to just a few friends – who apparently forwarded it en masse.

On Friday, Withers' father, Alan, fired back, calling Bourne "snotty Miss Fancy Pants".

"Heidi was very upset and the two of them obviously don't see eye to eye. I met Carolyn and her husband Edward for dinner at a pub in London last year," he told the Sun.

"Edward was a jovial chap but Carolyn was quite snotty. She had a look about her which made us think she thought she was better than us. Ever since that meeting we call her 'Miss Fancy Pants.'"

But he said he planned on putting on a happy face for his daughter's wedding – even though it's turned into a worldwide sensation.

"I told her the best thing to do was not respond to it at all and take the moral high ground. A couple of weeks later she and Freddie agreed to jointly respond to her email. I looked at the response once and put it in a drawer.

"I have no desire to meet Carolyn or Edward again before or after the wedding.They don't know us and we don't know them."

Bourne has avoided commenting to the press.

[Edited 7/1/11 12:40pm]

SCNDLS said:

missfee said:

Yeah that's true, her friend that violated her trust and forwarded on the email, and no that was not cool at all, I agree, but had the bride not forwarded the email in the first place, then her friend wouldn't have had nothing to put on front street.

Girl, are you saying you ain't never sent an email you got with some BS in it and forwarded it to your girls saying: "Girl, look at this bullshit right here! That heffa crazy and she gon' make me cuss her out next time I see her funky ass!" ???

C'mon now. You gotta forward that shit so your friends can:

A. Keep you from fucking a bitch up on sight

OR

B. Understand why you and that bitch rolling around on the floor at the reception.

OMG

Now yes I have forwarded on an email before about some beef between me and this girl I used to be friends with just to get an opinion on it, but never about family. But I forwarded the email on only AFTER I told that bitch how I felt about her ass. I had basically already cut her ass off 10 minutes before forwarding.

missfee said:

SCNDLS said:

Girl, are you saying you ain't never sent an email you got with some BS in it and forwarded it to your girls saying: "Girl, look at this bullshit right here! That heffa crazy and she gon' make me cuss her out next time I see her funky ass!" ???

C'mon now. You gotta forward that shit so your friends can:

A. Keep you from fucking a bitch up on sight

OR

B. Understand why you and that bitch rolling around on the floor at the reception.

OMG

Now yes I have forwarded on an email before about some beef between me and this girl I used to be friends with just to get an opinion on it, but never about family. But I forwarded the email on only AFTER I told that bitch how I felt about her ass. I had basically already cut her ass off 10 minutes before forwarding.

I see.

Well, I have received many an email complaining about fam during the wedding process which tends to bring the drama to the forefront. In those situations you often can't really go head to head with the person cuz you wanna keep the peace before The Big Day so unloading to close friends seems reasonable to me.

SCNDLS said:

missfee said:

OMG

Now yes I have forwarded on an email before about some beef between me and this girl I used to be friends with just to get an opinion on it, but never about family. But I forwarded the email on only AFTER I told that bitch how I felt about her ass. I had basically already cut her ass off 10 minutes before forwarding.

I see.

Well, I have received many an email complaining about fam during the wedding process which tends to bring the drama to the forefront. In those situations you often can't really go head to head with the person cuz you wanna keep the peace before The Big Day so unloading to close friends seems reasonable to me.

Okay yeah I gotcha on that one. When weddings are involved, those situations are so unique. In fact with the example I gave you above, that involvement with the broad I cut off, a wedding was involved with that, but it wasn't hers, it was a mutual, so-called friend of ours. But I cut that bitch off too, as well as the maid of honor. This was about two years ago and I've been good ever since without them immature broads in my life

But when it involves family then its hard because you can't just cut family off So I completely get what you are saying.

missfee said:

SCNDLS said:

I see.

Well, I have received many an email complaining about fam during the wedding process which tends to bring the drama to the forefront. In those situations you often can't really go head to head with the person cuz you wanna keep the peace before The Big Day so unloading to close friends seems reasonable to me.

Okay yeah I gotcha on that one. When weddings are involved, those situations are so unique. In fact with the example I gave you above, that involvement with the broad I cut off, a wedding was involved with that, but it wasn't hers, it was a mutual, so-called friend of ours. But I cut that bitch off too, as well as the maid of honor. This was about two years ago and I've been good ever since without them immature broads in my life

But when it involves family then its hard because you can't just cut family off So I completely get what you are saying.

Family: Can't cut 'em off . . . can't just cut 'em

I am not a big fan of mother in laws and I tend to think for the most part, they tend to cause more shit than the daughter-in-laws. I think the bride to be should have been careful who she forwarded the email to, but honestly, I blame the mother-in-law more. You don't put shit like this in writing-when you do, stuff like this is what happens. The mother-in-law has no one to blame but herself.

I actually think that if anyone is to be embarassed, it should be the bride. She acted in a way that was displeasing to her future family (some of the things she did were appalling), and when she was confronted about it, she took it as a joke to show off to her friends! That certainly will put a dent in the engagement, if it goes on at all.

However, the mother-in-law should have confronted the bride-to-be in person before the visit was over instead of emailing her after the fact. In person, it might not have seemed so harsh and snappy like it does in the email.

Both of them need to get their act together.

And finally, no castle.