Has anyone had any success in staying with a dude even though you know he's a player??? For me, it's like you can't stand being with him but you're even more miserable without him. Any thoughts/experiences??? Does it ever work out? How do you deal with it (other than getting out)?

Yeah there's a kind of addiction you feel when you're with him, but usually, as soon as you say to yourself 'he's a prick but I can't go'.. usually that's the moment your brain says 'yeah, you can go' and from that moment you feel free to leave and find someone better who deserves you more.

Run. Far away.
It's not worth the pain, heartache, aggravation and humiliation.

I've never dealt with a guy who is actually a 'player'. There's been a few who THOUGHT they were, but I could see through them and knew they weren't.

The vast majority of times I'm not even attracted to real players. The few times I have been, I went into interacting with them knowing that expecting something serious with them would be a waste of time, so I'd just hit on them from a distance or flirt with them in passing, and enjoy acting silly around them but never tried to really get to know them in a serious manner.

kitbradley said:

Has anyone had any success in staying with a dude even though you know he's a player??? For me, it's like you can't stand being with him but you're even more miserable without him. Any thoughts/experiences??? Does it ever work out? How do you deal with it (other than getting out)?

Wait, how is that even possible?

WaterInYourBath said:

kitbradley said:

Has anyone had any success in staying with a dude even though you know he's a player??? For me, it's like you can't stand being with him but you're even more miserable without him. Any thoughts/experiences??? Does it ever work out? How do you deal with it (other than getting out)?

Wait, how is that even possible?

Haven't you ever heard of dysfunctional relationships? They're everywhere!

chocolate1 said:

Run. Far away.
It's not worth the pain, heartache, aggravation and humiliation.

Why bother? To me so called self proclaimed "players" never win, but seem to have this illusion they do all the time. The real person that they playing is themselves...but it's usually not realized until THEY have actually gotten played. It happens every time.

[Edited 6/30/11 19:07pm]

WaterInYourBath said:

kitbradley said:

Has anyone had any success in staying with a dude even though you know he's a player??? For me, it's like you can't stand being with him but you're even more miserable without him. Any thoughts/experiences??? Does it ever work out? How do you deal with it (other than getting out)?

Wait, how is that even possible?

It's called infactuation with someone who you let put an emotional hold on you...for whatever reason. Could be because they really know how to romance you, could be because they are great dressers, could be because they know all the right things to say, and the right things to buy...but I never met a player who wasn't selfish, immature, fast talking and in denial. Thank goodness I would run after one conversation with those losers But I've seen some of my friends get caught up and it's definitely not fun.

[Edited 6/30/11 19:12pm]

My dear, run like hell. Spare yourself heartache. It may start out fun..but it'll end terribly. And you'll be left with nothing but bad memories that overshadow the good ones.

I speak from experience.

What is your definition of a player?

Do u think they ever grow up and retire with someone special??????

just wondering..............................

do they shred their lill black book

stop wanting their ex's

withdraw their funds from the condom industry

stop at lill hot things

do they?? do they??? ever want to settle down ????????????????????? forever..................

I love my record player.

kitbradley said:

Has anyone had any success in staying with a dude even though you know he's a player??? For me, it's like you can't stand being with him but you're even more miserable without him. Any thoughts/experiences??? Does it ever work out? How do you deal with it (other than getting out)?

Get yourself a man that cares about you and you only. You are worth being the only one. If he doesn't know that he's not worth you. When a man loves you it easy to tell. You don't have to wonder you don't have to beg you don't hurt from the things he does. All you do is .....trust me I know

mayrain said:

kitbradley said:

Has anyone had any success in staying with a dude even though you know he's a player??? For me, it's like you can't stand being with him but you're even more miserable without him. Any thoughts/experiences??? Does it ever work out? How do you deal with it (other than getting out)?

Get yourself a man that cares about you and you only. You are worth being the only one. If he doesn't know that he's not worth you. When a man loves you it easy to tell. You don't have to wonder you don't have to beg you don't hurt from the things he does. All you do is .....trust me I know

Been there, too.

So do only men qualify as "players"?

What about a woman who plays the game? They're out there...no denying it.

What about men who fall in love with THEM?

Guys- back me up on this!

PurpleJedi said:

So do only men qualify as "players"?

What about a woman who plays the game? They're out there...no denying it.

What about men who fall in love with THEM?

Guys- back me up on this!

Dude, this is every relationship. I don't even know what people are trippin' on.

kitbradley said:

Has anyone had any success in staying with a dude even though you know he's a player??? For me, it's like you can't stand being with him but you're even more miserable without him. Any thoughts/experiences??? Does it ever work out? How do you deal with it (other than getting out)?

OH-! And there's no "dealing" with it IMO.

You're either going to accept it or run the other way.

Cerebus said:

PurpleJedi said:

So do only men qualify as "players"?

What about a woman who plays the game? They're out there...no denying it.

What about men who fall in love with THEM?

Guys- back me up on this!

Dude, this is every relationship. I don't even know what people are trippin' on.

Man, it sure seems like it!

But no...there really are golden relationships out there.

The trick is finding the right person with whom to build it.

kitbradley said:

WaterInYourBath said:

Wait, how is that even possible?

Haven't you ever heard of dysfunctional relationships? They're everywhere!

Yeah, I have, lol. But in the cases I've seen (unless there's children unfortunately in the picture), the end result is not like what you described, but rather, "they can't stand being with them, and feel wonderful without them." That's how I would be too if I ever start to loathe a man I'm supposed to be in love with, lol. I'd be like what Richard Pryor once said: "When you stop wanting to be with a motherfucker, you leave, that's what I do." LOL.

PurpleJedi said:

Cerebus said:

Dude, this is every relationship. I don't even know what people are trippin' on.

Man, it sure seems like it!

But no...there really are golden relationships out there.

The trick is finding the right person with whom to build it.

The trick is finding a person whose games don't make you want to toss them out of a fast moving vehicle. That doesn't mean the same issues don't exist in a relationship where all the doors stay shut.

Cerebus said:

PurpleJedi said:

Man, it sure seems like it!

But no...there really are golden relationships out there.

The trick is finding the right person with whom to build it.

The trick is finding a person whose games don't make you want to toss them out of a fast moving vehicle. That doesn't mean the same issues don't exist in a relationship where all the doors stay shut.

Not so, I say!

I've seen and tried all sorts of unions from casual dating to marriage, with relationship dynamics raging from calm and uneventful (no games involved and this has actually been the tone of most of my relationships) to pure rollercoaster rides (an affair leading to immediate dissolution), and I can honestly say it depends on the people involved. What's the maturity level of the people in the relationship? What are their values and ethics regarding themselves and others? Do they have enough in common so that the relationship encourages sharing, growing, and bonding together? Are they on the same page in terms of their relationship goals and expectations? Do they have open and honest communication about those goals & expectations? Do they even have communication at all? What is the relationship's impact on their spiritual life and their spirituality's impact on their relationship? These questions and many more can be a pretty good indicator as to whether or not a person is on their way to grabbing the golden ticket when it comes to choosing a partner. I've been pretty lucky that the majority of my forays into loooove have been laid-back and vibe-y. Rarely (if ever), have I encountered or dealt with people who were into games, no way, no how. This is usually the kinda stuff you can figure out on the first 3 dates with a person. I say if the gut tells you on the first 3 dates the person is a game player, then they just need to be dropped and forgotten so you can move on to finding someone equally yoked and a better fit.

kitbradley said:

Has anyone had any success in staying with a dude even though you know he's a player??? For me, it's like you can't stand being with him but you're even more miserable without him. Any thoughts/experiences??? Does it ever work out? How do you deal with it (other than getting out)?

Never been with a dude player, but I have some experience with dudette players.

Does that count too?

[Edited 7/1/11 4:32am]

I never been with a player, everyone was pretty normal except one guy who was a bit of an idiot, but player NO.

yeah i've been there. then i grew up and moved on to adults.

thisisit said:

yeah i've been there. then i grew up and moved on to adults.

what killed me for the longest time was that he didnt become a player until after we had been married for a number of years, had children etc.........i put up for a while, he became everything i've heard described....how the fuck does that happen???

myfavorite said:

what killed me for the longest time was that he didnt become a player until after we had been married for a number of years, had children etc.........i put up for a while, he became everything i've heard described....how the fuck does that happen???

Unfortunately, a lot of men do become players after they get married and/or start a family.

I'm fine with them because I only want them in 20 minute periods from time to time. As far as I'm concerned, they can have all the men they want because when they are with the other men, they become those men's problem and not mine. And if they want to bring one of their other men over to my place, that's fine too. Hell, I'm always in the mood for a dick that I've never had before.

kitbradley said:

myfavorite said:

what killed me for the longest time was that he didnt become a player until after we had been married for a number of years, had children etc.........i put up for a while, he became everything i've heard described....how the fuck does that happen???

Unfortunately, a lot of men do become players after they get married and/or start a family.

...and some WOMEN as well.