tinaz said:

paintedlady said:

How diplomatic!

.... you must be a nice guy.

OMG and he's under 35!!

Its a cyber hump.... and stop making me out to be all extra old... I am 40 not 80!

[Edited 6/28/11 18:28pm]

paintedlady said:

tinaz said:

OMG and he's under 35!!

Its a cyber hump.... and stop making me out to be all extra old... I am 40 not 80!

[Edited 6/28/11 18:28pm]

NOOOOOO i was saying that cuz whistle said all nice guys are over 35! You said he was a nice guy and i was saying he's under 35!

tinaz said:

paintedlady said:

Its a cyber hump.... and stop making me out to be all extra old... I am 40 not 80!

[Edited 6/28/11 18:28pm]

NOOOOOO i was saying that cuz whistle said all nice guys are over 35! You said he was a nice guy and i was saying he's under 35!

I think he's gay too...

!!!

paintedlady said:

tinaz said:

NOOOOOO i was saying that cuz whistle said all nice guys are over 35! You said he was a nice guy and i was saying he's under 35!

I think he's gay too...

!!!

ThaCat said:

i refuse to believe nice guys finish last and its also insulting to generalise all women want jerks.

If the woman the genuine nice guy is in chase of, shows rejection to him in favour for a bad boy, then its her Loss and his gain to find someone who wants respect and love themselves.

to get personal here, i spent the last year of my life with someone being the nicest compassionate guy i ever been compare to the selfish womanising immature guy i spent most of my late 20s doing. Eventually i lost the woman i was involve with to a married man who was she in an affair with long before i was in the picture.

Am not bitter about it, because the both of them deserve each other, they are both self destructive and spoilt. I was the nicest guy i could ever been to her and she was not the one. i like being the better person because it makes me feel good about myself which will enhance my relationship with someone else who does deserve it.

So basically you verified the OP's point!

The one and only guy I ever married is very, very nice. He has lots of badass qualities, but he's by no means a bad person. He's never done anything mean to me, he's extremely nice to his mama, he's a good tipper, he takes in puppies off the street and gives them baths, and he cries looking at pictures of our kids when they were little.

I mean, he'll bust a motherfucker's cranium, but to paraphrase Ahnold in True Lies, only if they're bad.

paintedlady said:

Timmy84 said:

No.

I meant in general.

How diplomatic!

.... you must be a nice guy.

Not a bad bone in my body.

PunkMistress said:

The one and only guy I ever married is very, very nice. He has lots of badass qualities, but he's by no means a bad person. He's never done anything mean to me, he's extremely nice to his mama, he's a good tipper, he takes in puppies off the street and gives them baths, and he cries looking at pictures of our kids when they were little.

I mean, he'll bust a motherfucker's cranium, but to paraphrase Ahnold in True Lies, only if they're bad.

I'm sorry, but you and Chris aren't allowed in this discussion...your heavenly bliss can really put a damper on our rotten mood!

So basically you verified the OP's point!

No because the Op said that Nice guys have to get their heartbroken to turn cold so they get the girl they desire. thats the complete opposite from what i was saying, I dont think bitterness and being bad on purpose is going to get the true love you desire, I would not say the woman in question changed me to be nice, it was that i changed my way in treating women, i became the side i always wished i had and i loved being a nice guy. I rather a women were drawn to me for being genuine and honest then just a fling with a badboy.

PunkMistress said:

The one and only guy I ever married is very, very nice. He has lots of badass qualities, but he's by no means a bad person. He's never done anything mean to me, he's extremely nice to his mama, he's a good tipper, he takes in puppies off the street and gives them baths, and he cries looking at pictures of our kids when they were little.

I mean, he'll bust a motherfucker's cranium, but to paraphrase Ahnold in True Lies, only if they're bad.

Dag gummit!!!! Does he have a gay brother you can hook me up with. Preferably a twin.

ThaCat said:

No because the Op said that Nice guys have to get their heartbroken to turn cold so they get the girl they desire. thats the complete opposite from what i was saying, I dont think bitterness and being bad on purpose is going to get the true love you desire, I would not say the woman in question changed me to be nice, it was that i changed my way in treating women, i became the side i always wished i had and i loved being a nice guy. I rather a women were drawn to me for being genuine and honest then just a fling with a badboy.

OK, I see your point.

I guess the core of this thread is, for me at least, is that I need to reinvent my wallowing pussy nice guy ass into a charming badass - any tips on how?

purplehippieonthe1 said:

I guess the core of this thread is, for me at least, is that I need to reinvent my wallowing pussy nice guy ass into a charming badass - any tips on how?

Yeah, I'm really interested in finding out myself!

By following my theory, women will constantly be in hot pursuit

Uhm yeah... no.

tinaz said:

As far as being with a bad boy goes, I think every woman needs to do it to get it outta her system, so she learns what she DOESNT want in a long term relationship

That requires quite a lot of bad boys. And also nice guys.

Tremolina said:

tinaz said:

As far as being with a bad boy goes, I think every woman needs to do it to get it outta her system, so she learns what she DOESNT want in a long term relationship

That requires quite a lot of bad boys. And also nice guys.

...and where do YOU stand on the matter, personally?

All this talk about nice = ugly is hilarious.

Look, nice means nice, jerk means jerk, ugly means ugly and attractive means attractive. Looks and personality can be mixed any way.

Sure, a person's looks might attract initially but it only gets you so far. A hot dude that is a jerk will not do as well as hot dude that is nice.

A person that is not attractive to you will always finish last (with you), absolutely. I mean, who the hell is having relationships with someone that is not attractive to them? And if they are, are having a relationship out of desperation and a need to not be alone?

That's fine if someone chooses to do that, but I do not believe that this kind of settling for someone they are not attracted to reflects most people as they age and so call "mature".

I havent dated many genuinely nice guys. Most of the guys I've been with were nice at first and over time turned out to be emotionally unavailable, narcissistic or critical. Psychology says that you bring into your life the relationships you had in childhood. In my case maybe it was that if I thought I could tame the bad boy that I'd be worthy and make up for my past childhood.

I've been attracted to the bad boy's confidence and creativity. Most guys I've dated have been artists in some way. I know with my first bf his bravado really covered insecurities. Two other guys I dated told me they were really hurt by a past gf, which may have caused them to be distant with me & others. One of them even told me he refused to ever be in a committed relationship again because of that. He actually joked that he looked like a European gigolo. It was my fault for keeping these "relationships" going.

I dated one genuinely nice guy this past yr & found I was bored. I think though it was cause I wasnt really physically attracted to him. I hope to meet a nice guy that I'm also attracted to physically. It makes perfect sense that I love Prince, since he is that image of the creative and untouchable bad boy.

PurpleJedi said:

Tremolina said:

That requires quite a lot of bad boys. And also nice guys.

...and where do YOU stand on the matter, personally?

There are some elements in this "theory" that are correct but it's way too one sided and simplistic.

The tone of this piece tone betrays its true intention. It argues a point that is supposedly about women but that begs the question why that has to be made in the 1st place. However, the author basically answers that question by basing the argument on superfical labels such as "jerks" and "nice guy" and overtly simplistic notions such as women always acting "on impulse and emotion rather than fact".

When you talk like that you are not exactly attractive to women.

I have been the "bad boy" so to speak, as well as the "nice guy". Even the nice bad boy, or bad nice guy. But it's never that simple with women. A woman has to be attracted to you in the first place before she would show you interest, which could be for a variety of reasons. Much more important than just being "bad" or "nice" is for example whether you are confident, that you have a (good) job and can take care of yourself, that you are good in bed, that you are clothed nice and are good looking, that you have a sense of humour, that you can show emotions, but not be anybody's bitch. Most important perhabs is that you can make the woman feel wanted/sexy, as well as somebody who could take care of her (and her children possibly).

You can be a bad guy and show it off all the time, but still be a fucking whimp with no confidence that can't take care of themselves and looks like shit every day. Not a lot of women will fall for you naturally then. But you could be nice guy too who oozes confidence, looks good, has a great job and is fun to be with, while he is doing his women the way they like it, and you could possibly have tons of women.

Tremolina said:

PurpleJedi said:

...and where do YOU stand on the matter, personally?

There are some elements in this "theory" that are correct but it's way too one sided and simplistic.

The tone of this piece tone betrays its true intention. It argues a point that is supposedly about women but that begs the question why that has to be made in the 1st place. However, the author basically answers that question by basing the argument on superfical labels such as "jerks" and "nice guy" and overtly simplistic notions such as women always acting "on impulse and emotion rather than fact".

When you talk like that you are not exactly attractive to women.

I have been the "bad boy" so to speak, as well as the "nice guy". Even the nice bad boy, or bad nice guy. But it's never that simple with women. A woman has to be attracted to you in the first place before she would show you interest, which could be for a variety of reasons. Much more important than just being "bad" or "nice" is for example whether you are confident, that you have a (good) job and can take care of yourself, that you are good in bed, that you are clothed nice and are good looking, that you have a sense of humour, that you can show emotions, but not be anybody's bitch. Most important perhabs is that you can make the woman feel wanted/sexy, as well as somebody who could take care of her (and her children possibly).

You can be a bad guy and show it off all the time, but still be a fucking whimp with no confidence that can't take care of themselves and looks like shit every day. Not a lot of women will fall for you naturally then. But you could be nice guy too who oozes confidence, looks good, has a great job and is fun to be with, while he is doing his women the way they like it, and you could possibly have tons of women.

You're hot.

JustErin said:

Tremolina said:

There are some elements in this "theory" that are correct but it's way too one sided and simplistic.

The tone of this piece tone betrays its true intention. It argues a point that is supposedly about women but that begs the question why that has to be made in the 1st place. However, the author basically answers that question by basing the argument on superfical labels such as "jerks" and "nice guy" and overtly simplistic notions such as women always acting "on impulse and emotion rather than fact".

When you talk like that you are not exactly attractive to women.

I have been the "bad boy" so to speak, as well as the "nice guy". Even the nice bad boy, or bad nice guy. But it's never that simple with women. A woman has to be attracted to you in the first place before she would show you interest, which could be for a variety of reasons. Much more important than just being "bad" or "nice" is for example whether you are confident, that you have a (good) job and can take care of yourself, that you are good in bed, that you are clothed nice and are good looking, that you have a sense of humour, that you can show emotions, but not be anybody's bitch. Most important perhabs is that you can make the woman feel wanted/sexy, as well as somebody who could take care of her (and her children possibly).

You can be a bad guy and show it off all the time, but still be a fucking whimp with no confidence that can't take care of themselves and looks like shit every day. Not a lot of women will fall for you naturally then. But you could be nice guy too who oozes confidence, looks good, has a great job and is fun to be with, while he is doing his women the way they like it, and you could possibly have tons of women.

You're hot.

Thanks Erin. Not as hot as you tho'.

Tremolina said:

JustErin said:

You're hot.

Thanks Erin. Not as hot as you tho'.

Haha...I was really just trying to be cheeky...you know with all that 'only being hot matters' talk ...but I do agree with everything you said.

JustErin said:

Tremolina said:

Thanks Erin. Not as hot as you tho'.

Haha...I was really just trying to be cheeky...you know with all that 'only being hot matters' talk ...but I do agree with everything you said.

I know THAT.

Tremolina said:

JustErin said:

Haha...I was really just trying to be cheeky...you know with all that 'only being hot matters' talk ...but I do agree with everything you said.

I know THAT.

Just making sure others do....cuz I can just see how they would respond if I didn't clarify.

But I do think you're awesome in so many ways.

JustErin said:

All this talk about nice = ugly is hilarious.

Look, nice means nice, jerk means jerk, ugly means ugly and attractive means attractive. Looks and personality can be mixed any way.

Sure, a person's looks might attract initially but it only gets you so far. A hot dude that is a jerk will not do as well as hot dude that is nice.

A person that is not attractive to you will always finish last (with you), absolutely. I mean, who the hell is having relationships with someone that is not attractive to them? And if they are, are having a relationship out of desperation and a need to not be alone?

That's fine if someone chooses to do that, but I do not believe that this kind of settling for someone they are not attracted to reflects most people as they age and so call "mature".

But what about the hot jerk who pretends to be nice?

JustErin said:

All this talk about nice = ugly is hilarious.

Look, nice means nice, jerk means jerk, ugly means ugly and attractive means attractive. Looks and personality can be mixed any way.

Sure, a person's looks might attract initially but it only gets you so far. A hot dude that is a jerk will not do as well as hot dude that is nice.

A person that is not attractive to you will always finish last (with you), absolutely. I mean, who the hell is having relationships with someone that is not attractive to them? And if they are, are having a relationship out of desperation and a need to not be alone?

That's fine if someone chooses to do that, but I do not believe that this kind of settling for someone they are not attracted to reflects most people as they age and so call "mature".

And there you have it.

NDRU said:

JustErin said:

All this talk about nice = ugly is hilarious.

Look, nice means nice, jerk means jerk, ugly means ugly and attractive means attractive. Looks and personality can be mixed any way.

Sure, a person's looks might attract initially but it only gets you so far. A hot dude that is a jerk will not do as well as hot dude that is nice.

A person that is not attractive to you will always finish last (with you), absolutely. I mean, who the hell is having relationships with someone that is not attractive to them? And if they are, are having a relationship out of desperation and a need to not be alone?

That's fine if someone chooses to do that, but I do not believe that this kind of settling for someone they are not attracted to reflects most people as they age and so call "mature".

But what about the hot jerk who pretends to be nice?

Is there REALLY such a thing as a NICE HOT DUDE?

I mean, seriously. If you've the nice bod & the paycheck & the chiseled face & the sense of humor & the long schlong...the natural overabundance in confidence turns into "cockyness" which makes you a "jerk" to all the less-than-perfect-10 women that he turns down in favor of Scarlett Johansson or Megan Fox.

Am I wrong?

PurpleJedi said:

NDRU said:

But what about the hot jerk who pretends to be nice?

Is there REALLY such a thing as a NICE HOT DUDE?

I mean, seriously. If you've the nice bod & the paycheck & the chiseled face & the sense of humor & the long schlong...the natural overabundance in confidence turns into "cockyness" which makes you a "jerk" to all the less-than-perfect-10 women that he turns down in favor of Scarlett Johansson or Megan Fox.

Am I wrong?

sure I have known nice hot guys, they usually have some kind of self-esteem issue

maybe this makes them less hot though

PurpleJedi said:

NDRU said:

But what about the hot jerk who pretends to be nice?

Is there REALLY such a thing as a NICE HOT DUDE?

I mean, seriously. If you've the nice bod & the paycheck & the chiseled face & the sense of humor & the long schlong...the natural overabundance in confidence turns into "cockyness" which makes you a "jerk" to all the less-than-perfect-10 women that he turns down in favor of Scarlett Johansson or Megan Fox.

Am I wrong?

I have a friend who would be considered very stereotypically hot (great face and hair, abs for days, muscles, the whole 9 yards) and he's a SUPER nice guy. Fun to hang out with, everything.

He's gay, though. And being as I've never been in a relationship with him, I don't know if he treats his bf's any differently.

PurpleJedi said:

NDRU said:

But what about the hot jerk who pretends to be nice?

Is there REALLY such a thing as a NICE HOT DUDE?

I mean, seriously. If you've the nice bod & the paycheck & the chiseled face & the sense of humor & the long schlong...the natural overabundance in confidence turns into "cockyness" which makes you a "jerk" to all the less-than-perfect-10 women that he turns down in favor of Scarlett Johansson or Megan Fox.

Am I wrong?

When people reach a level of maturity, they don't think someone is a jerk or bitch just because they aren't interested in you.