Having a bit of a downer 2day!Do u ever feel like ur life is already mapped out 4u?& sometimes not in a good way!!My dad was a bastard he left when eye was 1 & put my mum thru hell!!.My dad was a womaniser & a flirt like eye am now.My dad had many women on the go at the same time like eye have done 4 20 years.My dad now lives alone with just the love of animals 4 company,like eye do now.4 years my mum would tell me how eye was just like my father!!Had his walk,ate like him,dressed like him & was even violent like him.....My dad was a very violent man & god 4give me eye 2 have been a violent man in the past.Im now at a stage in my life where eye cant ever c myself getting married again,Ive tried 2 work women out but cant!!!Just fed up of trying & feel so much happier & free on my own (again just like my dad!!)So eye guess that saying is true....LIKE FATHER LIKE SON....What a bummer.Do any orgers male & female have any of there mother or father traits????Especially the realy ugly & dark characteristics 4 xample drugs/drink/violence anything??? And do u think the saying like father like son is true or a myth?.

Like your father, you may have burned some bridges here

NDRU said:

Like your father, you may have burned some bridges here

Eye blame Jehovah!!!Makes it easier 2 cope with!

davetherave6767 said:

Having a bit of a downer 2day!Do u ever feel like ur life is already mapped out 4u?& sometimes not in a good way!!My dad was a bastard he left when eye was 1 & put my mum thru hell!!.My dad was a womaniser & a flirt like eye am now.My dad had many women on the go at the same time like eye have done 4 20 years.My dad now lives alone with just the love of animals 4 company,like eye do now.4 years my mum would tell me how eye was just like my father!!Had his walk,ate like him,dressed like him & was even violent like him.....My dad was a very violent man & god 4give me eye 2 have been a violent man in the past.Im now at a stage in my life where eye cant ever c myself getting married again,Ive tried 2 work women out but cant!!!Just fed up of trying & feel so much happier & free on my own (again just like my dad!!)So eye guess that saying is true....LIKE FATHER LIKE SON....What a bummer.Do any orgers male & female have any of there mother or father traits????Especially the realy ugly & dark characteristics 4 xample drugs/drink/violence anything??? And do u think the saying like father like son is true or a myth?.

i think tendencies toward abusive behavior can both arise from genetics and from learned behavior. no one is perfect. we all have dark and light sides.

i also think people can choose who they want to be. imo in life what counts is trying to be the person you want to be.

Children are a product of their environment and they learn what they percieve to be good or socially acceptable behaviours by watching others around them, as well as recieving reinforcement from the consequences of their behaviours. If those people get rewarded, you will be more willing to engage in those behaviours. If they're being punished, you'll most likely avoid those behaviours.

BUT that does not necessarily mean that you will turn out like your parents. You can make the conscious decision to be different from your parents if you see your mother or father engaging in behaviour that you know is not socially or morally acceptable.

To say you blame God or your parents for your upbringing and your choices in life is no excuse. You made those decisions, you have to take responsibility for them. You govern who you are as a person. So either face up to the consequences, or change your ways.

[Edited 6/13/11 17:45pm]

ThruTheEyesOfWonder said:

Children are a product of their environment and they learn what they percieve to be good or socially acceptable behaviours by watching others around them, as well as recieving reinforcement from the consequences of their behaviours. If those people get rewarded, you will be more willing to engage in those behaviours. If they're being punished, you'll most likely avoid those behaviours.

BUT that does not necessarily mean that you will turn out like your parents. You can make the conscious decision to be different from your parents if you see your mother or father engaging in behaviour that you know is not socially or morally acceptable.

To say you blame God or your parents for your upbringing and your choices in life is no excuse. You made those decisions, you have to take responsibility for them. You govern who you are as a person. So either face up to the consequences, or change your ways.

[Edited 6/13/11 17:45pm]

ThankU........

Now I got glasses, I keep seeing how much I look like my mum when I see a mirror

davetherave6767 said:

Having a bit of a downer 2day!Do u ever feel like ur life is already mapped out 4u?& sometimes not in a good way!!My dad was a bastard he left when eye was 1 & put my mum thru hell!!.My dad was a womaniser & a flirt like eye am now.My dad had many women on the go at the same time like eye have done 4 20 years.My dad now lives alone with just the love of animals 4 company,like eye do now.4 years my mum would tell me how eye was just like my father!!Had his walk,ate like him,dressed like him & was even violent like him.....My dad was a very violent man & god 4give me eye 2 have been a violent man in the past.Im now at a stage in my life where eye cant ever c myself getting married again,Ive tried 2 work women out but cant!!!Just fed up of trying & feel so much happier & free on my own (again just like my dad!!)So eye guess that saying is true....LIKE FATHER LIKE SON....What a bummer.Do any orgers male & female have any of there mother or father traits????Especially the realy ugly & dark characteristics 4 xample drugs/drink/violence anything??? And do u think the saying like father like son is true or a myth?.

Have you forgiven your dad? Have you apologised for any resentment that you have towards him?

Sometimes I say something and sound just like my dad, and it makes me cringe. Even when it is one of his good qualities coming through, it still reminds me of his bad qualities.

Like Thrutheeyes.... said. You've seen his faults - it's your choice if you want to go the same route.

If i took a decided to take the same route as my parents I would be living a pretty shitty life right now. Luckily I was influenced by some lovely people in my teenage years and i've turned out ok. There is no changing some people... but I know that I don't want all the drama and negativity and crap that my parents dealt themselves. I'm in touch with my family, but I don't let their crap affect me. I like to surround myself with positivity.

ConsciousContact said:

davetherave6767 said:

Having a bit of a downer 2day!Do u ever feel like ur life is already mapped out 4u?& sometimes not in a good way!!My dad was a bastard he left when eye was 1 & put my mum thru hell!!.My dad was a womaniser & a flirt like eye am now.My dad had many women on the go at the same time like eye have done 4 20 years.My dad now lives alone with just the love of animals 4 company,like eye do now.4 years my mum would tell me how eye was just like my father!!Had his walk,ate like him,dressed like him & was even violent like him.....My dad was a very violent man & god 4give me eye 2 have been a violent man in the past.Im now at a stage in my life where eye cant ever c myself getting married again,Ive tried 2 work women out but cant!!!Just fed up of trying & feel so much happier & free on my own (again just like my dad!!)So eye guess that saying is true....LIKE FATHER LIKE SON....What a bummer.Do any orgers male & female have any of there mother or father traits????Especially the realy ugly & dark characteristics 4 xample drugs/drink/violence anything??? And do u think the saying like father like son is true or a myth?.

Have you forgiven your dad? Have you apologised for any resentment that you have towards him?

Dont c my dad anymore hes nothing 2me now!!!!Wouldnt want 2 c him again!!.

Lisa10 said:

Like Thrutheeyes.... said. You've seen his faults - it's your choice if you want to go the same route.

If i took a decided to take the same route as my parents I would be living a pretty shitty life right now. Luckily I was influenced by some lovely people in my teenage years and i've turned out ok. There is no changing some people... but I know that I don't want all the drama and negativity and crap that my parents dealt themselves. I'm in touch with my family, but I don't let their crap affect me. I like to surround myself with positivity.

Nice......Good 4 u....Have u had ur plus sign 2day?????

davetherave6767 said:

Lisa10 said:

Like Thrutheeyes.... said. You've seen his faults - it's your choice if you want to go the same route.

If i took a decided to take the same route as my parents I would be living a pretty shitty life right now. Luckily I was influenced by some lovely people in my teenage years and i've turned out ok. There is no changing some people... but I know that I don't want all the drama and negativity and crap that my parents dealt themselves. I'm in touch with my family, but I don't let their crap affect me. I like to surround myself with positivity.

Nice......Good 4 u....Have u had ur plus sign 2day?????

Dave I have my plus sign everyday.

Where in the UK are you from? Do you mind me asking? It's nice to see some more Brits here.

davetherave6767 said:

ConsciousContact said:

Have you forgiven your dad? Have you apologised for any resentment that you have towards him?

Dont c my dad anymore hes nothing 2me now!!!!Wouldnt want 2 c him again!!.

Yeah you re pretty much doomed to repeat his behaviour then.

ConsciousContact said:

davetherave6767 said:

Dont c my dad anymore hes nothing 2me now!!!!Wouldnt want 2 c him again!!.

Yeah you re pretty much doomed to repeat his behaviour then.

Its in jehovahs hands...its funny cuz when eye studied with JW they teach u 2 put jehovah b4 ur family!!!!Eye think jehovah has plans 4 Davetherave?

davetherave6767 said:

ConsciousContact said:

Yeah you re pretty much doomed to repeat his behaviour then.

Its in jehovahs hands...its funny cuz when eye studied with JW they teach u 2 put jehovah b4 ur family!!!!Eye think jehovah has plans 4 Davetherave?

Jehovah wants you to go into therapy.

BlackAdder7 said:

davetherave6767 said:

Its in jehovahs hands...its funny cuz when eye studied with JW they teach u 2 put jehovah b4 ur family!!!!Eye think jehovah has plans 4 Davetherave?

Jehovah wants you to go into therapy.

If only u knew!!!! not even anti-psychotics could fix me!!!!!!Psychiatric hospitals were a walk in the park 4 davetherave im jehovahs problem now!!!He is the one true god the god eye trust the only drug eye need!!!!!.................(no wait.........Tramodol...mustnt 4get my darling Tramadol)

Dave...we all have a tendency to be like our parents. Part of it is learned, and part of it is genetics.

My kids have traits that I recognize from myself, my parents, my wife, her parents, even traits belonging to aunts & uncles of mine! I'm talking mannerisms, gait, composure, voice...that's pure DNA right there.

Then there are the learned traits. Things that we pass on as we raise them. Sometimes unwillingly.

As for me, I see much of my dad in me. He is a quiet man, keeps to himself, and dedicated his ENTIRE life to us - his family. Those traits were passed on to me through upbringing. I recently burst out of this shell (as you know) and have finally allowed the outside world in. I determined that the was a somewhat toxic trait, and chose to do something about it. I changed.

The genetic ones I deal with. My dad's narrow shoulders and tendency to gain weight in the gut and nowhere else...I've been trying to fix via the gym. My mom's inability to hold alcohol, I just curb my drinking [I'm the only male in my family who gets drunk after 2 beers!].

Dave...you have recognized traits that you do not like. You - and only you - have the opportunity to do something about it. You've taken the first step, now keep going. Lean on others for support. And embrace the power of the Orgnote!

PurpleJedi said:

Dave...we all have a tendency to be like our parents. Part of it is learned, and part of it is genetics.

My kids have traits that I recognize from myself, my parents, my wife, her parents, even traits belonging to aunts & uncles of mine! I'm talking mannerisms, gait, composure, voice...that's pure DNA right there.

Then there are the learned traits. Things that we pass on as we raise them. Sometimes unwillingly.

As for me, I see much of my dad in me. He is a quiet man, keeps to himself, and dedicated his ENTIRE life to us - his family. Those traits were passed on to me through upbringing. I recently burst out of this shell (as you know) and have finally allowed the outside world in. I determined that the was a somewhat toxic trait, and chose to do something about it. I changed.

The genetic ones I deal with. My dad's narrow shoulders and tendency to gain weight in the gut and nowhere else...I've been trying to fix via the gym. My mom's inability to hold alcohol, I just curb my drinking [I'm the only male in my family who gets drunk after 2 beers!].

Dave...you have recognized traits that you do not like. You - and only you - have the opportunity to do something about it. You've taken the first step, now keep going. Lean on others for support. And embrace the power of the Orgnote!

Thank u so much 4 that MrJedi:touched: