sextonseven said:

ZombieKitten said:

I watch Modern Family!

I've never seen that show so I don't get the reference.

older gent back left, he's the dad of the blonde lady near the middle, and he left her mum for the hot younger lady and is doing parenthood all over again, despite the fact he should be enjoying retirement and grandparenting. It's tiring to be an OLD DAD!!!!

sextonseven said:

NDRU said:

or, with any luck she will want them but won't be able to have them

With any luck, not with this guy, but instead with someone else. I would not wish infertility on any woman that wanted to have children.

you don't really think I am so heartless do you?

NDRU said:

sextonseven said:

With any luck, not with this guy, but instead with someone else. I would not wish infertility on any woman that wanted to have children.

you don't really think I am so heartless do you?

you throw empty paint cans into the river!

ZombieKitten said:

sextonseven said:

I've never seen that show so I don't get the reference.

older gent back left, he's the dad of the blonde lady near the middle, and he left her mum for the hot younger lady and is doing parenthood all over again, despite the fact he should be enjoying retirement and grandparenting. It's tiring to be an OLD DAD!!!!

You'd think he would have learned from Married...With Children.

NDRU said:

sextonseven said:

With any luck, not with this guy, but instead with someone else. I would not wish infertility on any woman that wanted to have children.

you don't really think I am so heartless do you?

You're a fan of shattered dreams!

sextonseven said:

ZombieKitten said:

older gent back left, he's the dad of the blonde lady near the middle, and he left her mum for the hot younger lady and is doing parenthood all over again, despite the fact he should be enjoying retirement and grandparenting. It's tiring to be an OLD DAD!!!!

You'd think he would have learned from Married...With Children.

exactly!

sextonseven said:

NDRU said:

you don't really think I am so heartless do you?

You're a fan of shattered dreams!

yeah, a fan! thats positive and supportive!

babynoz said:

dJJ said:

Thank you all for posting. I have to consider all sides and that makes me clearer on the issue. And that really helps me in being a better support for mom and the kids.

All you can do is be there for them and try to detach yourself from the actual drama. Being supportive can be tricky...best of luck to you guys.

Off topic, whatever happened to the guy you sued? Did you guys work things out?

No. The court hearing on my divorce sort of got all my attention. Well, 7th June the judge will rule about the divorce.

Next week I'll start with the next law suit.

A fortnight before the divorce hearing I got a proposition from his laywers. It wasn't one that I consider reasonable. I had an appointment with a laywer/friend about it. He recommended me to sue him. However, I hate to do it. I just wished he would have not played it out by laywers and would have given me an offer I could have accepted. He hasn't been very brave about the issue. He went over to his laywers and didn't contact me personal anymore. It's good to get to know a man in that way. Makes a good selection

Then, there is still one lawsuit more to go after that. I have renovated my house a couple of years back. The construction isn't holding. So, I have to sue the architect, builder or the one who did the calculations for the construction. Well, anything to keep a girl busy, I guess.

And obviously, all these law suits cost me a lot of time, money (even when insurance covers some of it) and energy. I just want to go on with my life, I don't want to spend it on suing people who scrued me. Or maybe, who I have made it easy to screw me. Apparantly, I have to investigate my own part in all these matters. It's the universe telling me I didn't develop the skills that would have prevented all this bullshit. Biggest lesson: don't wait to act. Observe, decide and act.

Somehow, that came natural to me when I was young. Late 20's that characteristic evaporated under insecurities and moral narcisism.

First things first.

Law suits.

Kids and friend upstairs need support and fun time.

House needs to get fixed.

Need to get myself on serious income track again.

Boyfriends will come after that list.

NDRU said:

sextonseven said:

You're a fan of shattered dreams!

yeah, a fan! thats positive and supportive!

Seems the best way to learn and develop. Dreams are there to get shattered.

So, you can cling to another dream

BlackAdder7 said:

what I distill from what you've written is, that this man has been enabled by his wife, and now by you. She should throw his ass out, but she doesn't. she accepts his bullshit, so he continues it.

Yes. It's strange because she really has been the thriving force of protecting me against my husband. Her support has empowered me to move in the direction of a divorce and a much more happy life.

Allthough she enabled him, I do understand why she did it. He is a douchebag, has no back bone and isn't a strong person. However, he is not a bad person. There is a difference. He actually is a good guy with good values and sound morals. That's why I'm confused by the situation. He's not somebody who would be strong enough to leave her. I thought.

In the short term, for the kids it's better if he leaves the house. Too much emotional drama and tension going on. When she is just with the kids, it's much more peaceful and calm. I think everybody benefits from that.

Joyinrepatition said:

this guy will make a complete dufus of himself, then come runing back to be comforted.

It must be a nightmare for mum and the kids.Your a true friend to them.

Take it easy now dJJ...

Exactly! I just don't understand how he can even think he can cope. He lacks initiative and strength for that.

Maybe he will surprise me. However, I just know he can't handle it when she is not there to set some boundaries.

And so he learns. She learns. And I learn.

I just love the kids. And admire their mother for being so strong. Mom doesn't want to talk about it with me at the moment, because she says that she is afraid she will collapse then. That breaks my heart. She is strong, and I know she will survive.

Maybe you guys are right. Maybe, in the end she is better off.

It does create an opportunity for her to meet a guy who is capable of taking responsibility for his own life.

dJJ said:

babynoz said:

All you can do is be there for them and try to detach yourself from the actual drama. Being supportive can be tricky...best of luck to you guys.

Off topic, whatever happened to the guy you sued? Did you guys work things out?

No. The court hearing on my divorce sort of got all my attention. Well, 7th June the judge will rule about the divorce.

Next week I'll start with the next law suit.

A fortnight before the divorce hearing I got a proposition from his laywers. It wasn't one that I consider reasonable. I had an appointment with a laywer/friend about it. He recommended me to sue him. However, I hate to do it. I just wished he would have not played it out by laywers and would have given me an offer I could have accepted. He hasn't been very brave about the issue. He went over to his laywers and didn't contact me personal anymore. It's good to get to know a man in that way. Makes a good selection

Then, there is still one lawsuit more to go after that. I have renovated my house a couple of years back. The construction isn't holding. So, I have to sue the architect, builder or the one who did the calculations for the construction. Well, anything to keep a girl busy, I guess.

And obviously, all these law suits cost me a lot of time, money (even when insurance covers some of it) and energy. I just want to go on with my life, I don't want to spend it on suing people who scrued me. Or maybe, who I have made it easy to screw me. Apparantly, I have to investigate my own part in all these matters. It's the universe telling me I didn't develop the skills that would have prevented all this bullshit. Biggest lesson: don't wait to act. Observe, decide and act.

Somehow, that came natural to me when I was young. Late 20's that characteristic evaporated under insecurities and moral narcisism.

First things first.

Law suits.

Kids and friend upstairs need support and fun time.

House needs to get fixed.

Need to get myself on serious income track again.

Boyfriends will come after that list.

That's a big "to do" list!

Best wishes.