Heybaby said:

Move on. I've been forcing myself to make time for my art work eventhough I work crazy hours. Its the only thing that keeps me from going insane. I've made a point to involve myself in more art shows and networking (and modeling!) So far I've met a lot of 'interesting' people and dudes . I travel more and I'm getting to do things that I could never get him to do with me. I'm still sad sometimes but I'm loving it. Its exciting.

Oh my thanks for sharing!! Yes I've been setting some plans in motion this week so I can move on and get him off my mind. Next week I have a couple of events I'm going to attend that I normally wouldn't go to, so it should be interesting and different for me. I'm also planning to save up for a trip to London in the fall as well...I've never been outside the U.S. before, so this will be a really big treat for me and I'm so looking forward to it!!!

Well when you really figure out how to do that let me know.

I try to live for each moment and day and will make future fun plans, but I feel like some spark in me is missing now I can't even turn to musical hobbies and need something or someone to shake me up again and make me want to go nuts

paintedlady said:

missfee said:

I'm sure it will too. Thx for the advice

We've all been there, just realize that its OK to care about someone. Its OK to love them, but its not OK to put yourself in a situation that doesn't work for you.

A clean break is always best. I can not stay buddies with my ex's for that very reason, because it keeps you yoked to that person and that very "friendship" turns into missed opportunity someone else gets to take advantage of because you didn't make yourself available to that option keeping your heart locked up.

Opportunities never die, someone else just gets them. There are ALWAYS opportunities.

You deserve more... you deserve total happiness! You didn't settle for good reason, don't stop your self from finding a better match to share life with.

Your advice is very encouraging and motivating, thank you!

alphastreet said:

I try to live for each moment and day and will make future fun plans, but I feel like some spark in me is missing now I can't even turn to musical hobbies and need something or someone to shake me up again and make me want to go nuts

Eye felt this way about a week ago but someone on the org said something 2 me that did shake me up eye hope the same happens 4u or u just snap out of it!!.

I'm glad things worked out For me, it's up and down and unstable that it's hard to make things happen

alphastreet said:

I'm glad things worked out For me, it's up and down and unstable that it's hard to make things happen

In time u will b ok!.

paintedlady said:

PunkMistress said:

If "just being alone" is "just being alone," then I wouldn't want to marry you.

Because then I'd be "just being" with you.

Develop a rich, fulfilling life of your own! When my true love and I met, we had both been single for years, and building the kind of lives we wanted for ourselves - not spending our time searching every single interaction for a deep connection. The things we eac did and learned and became in our single time are the very things that made us attracted to each other - and still keep things interesting five years later.

P.S. DON'T settle for someone you're not in love with! You'll meet your true love when you're married to the dud, then you'll have to be an adulteress!

That (bolded part) is crucial... nothing turns anyone off more than a spirit of desperation. A happy, healthy, and fullfilled you will attract the a partner with the same qualities.

That's what I've been told by many people.

missfee said:

[b]Maybe I should just date more. I should be able to meet someone else who can I connect deeply with right?

100%

alexnvrmnd777 said:

itsnotallover said:

March 28th, 1988 at 8pm. I went on a Blind date, I was helping a friend out, his Girlfriend wanted some company for her friend whilst she joined them on an evening out. I reluctantly agreed.........

I never for one moment expected to happen what did that night. I met the sweetest, most innocent and sincere Girl I have ever known. I fell for her straight away and she fell for me too, she told me that on that night she went home and sat on her Bed thinking about me and hoping and praying I would want to see her again, that same night, I couldn't sleep, I lay there all night with my Headphones on listening to music and just thinking about her.

I asked my friend to organise another night out and we again met up, the night flew by, we chatted and laughed and at the end of the night I gave her a kiss on her cheek......

We met again a few times more and things started to build up, the first time we kissed, I trembled so much I truly thought I was going to fall over.

I was consumed with love, I had never in my life felt like this, yes I was only 19, but still this was a feeling beyond comprehension. It wasn't sex, lust etc, it was true love. For 6 months, we never went beyond a Kiss, she wasn't ready and I respected that, then the first time we made love, it was like the Stars fell from Heaven, the World stopped turning and all that remained was us two.

I wanted to be with her every second of the day, when we weren't together I missed her so much, I still miss her today. I would walk 7 Miles just to see her, thats how far apart we lived and it was nothing to walk that far, just to spend an hour or two with her, then I would walk 7 Miles home and wish she was there with me.

I truly thought that she would be the one I grew old with, the one I would have children with, the one who would wait for me on the other side when our time came.

But I was stupid. I turned my back and walked away from her. I left her one night, outside her house, she stood at the Bus stop and begged me not to go and I left. I could hear her heart breaking all the way home.

I regret that moment, I have done for over 20 years.

I made promises to her, that I have kept to this very day, I have tried so many times just to speak to her, but she won't entertain me. That is my cross to bear, for my mistake, for the pain I caused her.

If you truly love someone, do everything you can to hold on to them at whatever the cost. Love is irreplacable.

Why was it again that you left her that one night?

Because I was a fool, I didn't have a sane reason, I left because I listened to my Friends, rather than my Heart.

You convince them that you don't love them and fuck them as often as possible

Alej said:

You convince them that you don't love them and fuck them as often as possible

Doesn't work when you still LOVE them, and all you're doing is fucking yourself up.

Start smoking heroin.

TheDigitalGardener said:

Start smoking heroin.

PurpleJedi said:

Alej said:

You convince them that you don't love them and fuck them as often as possible

Doesn't work when you still LOVE them, and all you're doing is fucking yourself up.

yes thats true.

PurpleJedi said:

Alej said:

You convince them that you don't love them and fuck them as often as possible

Doesn't work when you still LOVE them, and all you're doing is fucking yourself up.

It's worked wonders for me

missfee said:

How do u cope with accepting that u can't be with the one person u truly love and can't seem to get over? And this if they truly love u just the same as well? [Edited 5/28/11 5:24am]

It is by far the most difficult scenario because I went through it myself. They say time heals all wounds. The way I got over this situation for me was to not contact him ever again and continue on with my life. I married someone else and we have a beautiful daughter together. The feelings for the other guy eventually went away. All the pain and anger went away as well. All the romantic feelings I had for the one I fell madly in love with, went away. I moved on. You HAVE to make a conscience decision to move on.

Give it time...

I'm going thru this right now. I fucking hate it.

SisterGirl said:

missfee said:

How do u cope with accepting that u can't be with the one person u truly love and can't seem to get over? And this if they truly love u just the same as well? [Edited 5/28/11 5:24am]

It is by far the most difficult scenario because I went through it myself. They say time heals all wounds. The way I got over this situation for me was to not contact him ever again and continue on with my life. I married someone else and we have a beautiful daughter together. The feelings for the other guy eventually went away. All the pain and anger went away as well. All the romantic feelings I had for the one I fell madly in love with, went away. I moved on. You HAVE to make a conscience decision to move on.

Give it time...

Thanks for the advice.

I think what happens (sometimes) is that people tend to romanticize or idealize past relationships - especially when they haven't found a suitable replacement.

There's a reason you broke up. Trust yourself - and move on.

u need to know when its time to let go.....

[Edited 6/13/11 17:06pm]

What I'm starting to realize now is that maybe the one you truly love is possibly not YOUR true love as you think...if you know deep down in your heart it wouldn't work being with them again. Maybe its just a thing of at one time, there was a lot of passion and love there, but at the end of the day, whatever happened that broke you all up, happened for a reason. There could still be a connection there, but the connection isn't enough to truly love someone as a whole.

davetherave6767 said:

When u have ur heart ripped out by the person u truely love u wont worry about all this soppy lovey dovey mush!!! u move on become u become hard & ur heart becomes impregnable!!!.

or at least wiser.

missfee said:

How do u cope with accepting that u can't be with the one person u truly love and can't seem to get over?

Watch the porn videos we made together.

paintedlady said:

First I had to learn to open my mind and learn the difference between infatuation and love.

All this "love" and "connection" yet you two are NOT together? Maybe its not love dear.... be open to that and you will heal faster, or deny that and you can still "love" him forever and ever and ever just the way you are now.

Truth

alphastreet said:

I'm glad things worked out For me, it's up and down and unstable that it's hard to make things happen

Im with the 1 eye truly love every nite!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!....eye sleep alone..

davetherave6767 said:

alphastreet said:

I'm glad things worked out For me, it's up and down and unstable that it's hard to make things happen

Im with the 1 eye truly love every nite!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!....eye sleep alone..

great answer i echo that

davetherave6767 said:

alphastreet said:

I'm glad things worked out For me, it's up and down and unstable that it's hard to make things happen

Im with the 1 eye truly love every nite!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!....eye sleep alone..

There's a saying in Spanish; "Mejor solo que mal acompañado."

Trans: "Better off alone than in bad company."

PurpleJedi said:

davetherave6767 said:

Im with the 1 eye truly love every nite!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!....eye sleep alone..

There's a saying in Spanish; "Mejor solo que mal acompañado."

Trans: "Better off alone than in bad company."

Hell Yeh!!!!

davetherave6767 said:

alphastreet said:

I'm glad things worked out For me, it's up and down and unstable that it's hard to make things happen

Im with the 1 eye truly love every nite!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!....eye sleep alone..

yeah I've always known that you have to love yourself before anyone can love you back, and self respect is number one

but I'm learning now that I have a habit of chasing mania, and didn't even know it for years till recently....not through drugs, but rather, through trying to fill a void out of boredom and being a drama magnet without knowing why.

[Edited 6/15/11 9:12am]