ZombieKitten said:

Serious said:

ZombieKitten said:

I wrote it in my diary, I remember

The last time it was "Shit I love him, I am in big trouble". And I already realized back then that there won't be any way out for me to be happy again. That was exactly 4 years ago and I was right .

it's an impossible situation, whichever way one looks at it

ZombieKitten said:

there's always wanking...

Serious said:

RenHoek said:

Leave GD and head back over to P:M&M...

RenHoek said:

When u have ur heart ripped out by the person u truely love u wont worry about all this soppy lovey dovey mush!!! u move on become u become hard & ur heart becomes impregnable!!!.

If you can´t be with the one you love, you gotta love the one you´re with.

itsnotallover said:

March 28th, 1988 at 8pm. I went on a Blind date, I was helping a friend out, his Girlfriend wanted some company for her friend whilst she joined them on an evening out. I reluctantly agreed.........

I never for one moment expected to happen what did that night. I met the sweetest, most innocent and sincere Girl I have ever known. I fell for her straight away and she fell for me too, she told me that on that night she went home and sat on her Bed thinking about me and hoping and praying I would want to see her again, that same night, I couldn't sleep, I lay there all night with my Headphones on listening to music and just thinking about her.

I asked my friend to organise another night out and we again met up, the night flew by, we chatted and laughed and at the end of the night I gave her a kiss on her cheek......

We met again a few times more and things started to build up, the first time we kissed, I trembled so much I truly thought I was going to fall over.

I was consumed with love, I had never in my life felt like this, yes I was only 19, but still this was a feeling beyond comprehension. It wasn't sex, lust etc, it was true love. For 6 months, we never went beyond a Kiss, she wasn't ready and I respected that, then the first time we made love, it was like the Stars fell from Heaven, the World stopped turning and all that remained was us two.

I wanted to be with her every second of the day, when we weren't together I missed her so much, I still miss her today. I would walk 7 Miles just to see her, thats how far apart we lived and it was nothing to walk that far, just to spend an hour or two with her, then I would walk 7 Miles home and wish she was there with me.

I truly thought that she would be the one I grew old with, the one I would have children with, the one who would wait for me on the other side when our time came.

But I was stupid. I turned my back and walked away from her. I left her one night, outside her house, she stood at the Bus stop and begged me not to go and I left. I could hear her heart breaking all the way home.

I regret that moment, I have done for over 20 years.

I made promises to her, that I have kept to this very day, I have tried so many times just to speak to her, but she won't entertain me. That is my cross to bear, for my mistake, for the pain I caused her.

If you truly love someone, do everything you can to hold on to them at whatever the cost. Love is irreplacable.

Why was it again that you left her that one night?

First I had to learn to open my mind and learn the difference between infatuation and love.

All this "love" and "connection" yet you two are NOT together? Maybe its not love dear.... be open to that and you will heal faster, or deny that and you can still "love" him forever and ever and ever just the way you are now.

IN HIS OWN WORDS
Stephen Stills lyrics

Love the One You’re With
by Stephen Stills

If you’re down and confused, and you don’t remember who you’re talkin’ to. Concentration slip away, ‘cause your baby is so far away.

Well there’s a rose in the fisted glove and the eagle flies with the dove, and if you can’t be with the one you love, honey, love the one you’re with, love the one you’re with, love the one you’re with, love the one you’re with.

Don’t be angry, don’t be sad, and don’t sit cryin’ over good times you’ve had. There’s a girl right next to you, and she’s just waitin’ for something to do.

And there’s a rose in the fisted glove and the eagle flies with the dove, and if you can’t be with the one you love, honey, love the one you’re with, love the one you’re with, love the one you’re with, love the one you’re with.

Dit dit dit dit dit dit dit dit, dit dit dit dit dit dit dit dit, dit dit dit dit dit dit dit dit, dit dit dit, dit dit dit.

Turn your heartache right into joy, she’s a girl, and you’re a boy. Well get it together, make it real nice,
You ain’t gonna need anymore advice.

And there’s a rose in the fisted glove and the eagle flies with the dove, and if you can’t be with the one you love, honey, love the one you’re with, love the one you’re with, love the one you’re with, love the one you’re with.

Dit dit dit dit dit dit dit dit, dit dit dit dit dit dit dit dit, dit dit dit dit dit dit dit dit, dit dit dit, dit dit dit

I loved someone imaginary I'm never going to meet or have and it's fucking pathetic and can only wish the affection I have fucking fades away with time or it's going to kill me.

And then, I thought I found someone I could relate to, but he was such a perv and just liked me for my body and had no regard for my feelings or my life seperate from him and loved to tell a lot of lies and be controlling and manipulative. Though I didn't find him attractive, who I thought he was and the false image he provided me with what I wanted, but he was untrustworthy and all kinds of things. I don't miss him, but I think I miss the idea of being with someone though it wasn't him and he did not respect me or know how to respect women.

I'm not sure how I'm ever going to have someone, I'm too impossible and even though I'm calm, I always attract drama or trouble anywhere I go. So I don't think I will ever be with someone I truly love if it happens.

[Edited 5/31/11 22:04pm]

paintedlady said:

First I had to learn to open my mind and learn the difference between infatuation and love.

All this "love" and "connection" yet you two are NOT together? Maybe its not love dear.... be open to that and you will heal faster, or deny that and you can still "love" him forever and ever and ever just the way you are now.

Well its a thing of we've been friends for so long, we were in a romantic relationship on and off for 4 years but it didn't work out. I cut him off for two years hoping to get over him...during that time I had a relationship with somebody else and it didn't work because I wasn't over him still. Now we are friends again but at the same time we have acknowledged that we still love each other. We are really close, like each other's best friend, we can tell each other anything. But I don't think we have another chance at romance, if it was meant to work, it would have a long time ago. I just think I need to move on and just accept that its okay to care for him, I will always love him, but we are only meant to be friends.

[Edited 6/1/11 5:07am]

KoolEaze said:

If you can´t be with the one you love, you gotta love the one you´re with.

Ha ha!

free2bfreeda said:

IN HIS OWN WORDS
Stephen Stills lyrics

Love the One You’re With
by Stephen Stills

If you’re down and confused, and you don’t remember who you’re talkin’ to. Concentration slip away, ‘cause your baby is so far away.

Well there’s a rose in the fisted glove and the eagle flies with the dove, and if you can’t be with the one you love, honey, love the one you’re with, love the one you’re with, love the one you’re with, love the one you’re with.

I love this song!!

It's hard when love isn't reciprocated! IMO it is best to date more or at least be open to being around guys even if it isn't an official date. I've surprised myself by finding strong attraction that turned into love when I thought no one could live up to my previous man.

And although this may be hard to do...try not to talk or be around the guy that you can't get over. You can still be nice if you do see him, but it makes it so hard to find someone new if you are still close with the guy you can't get over.

The most important thing is to do things that make you happy. When you are in a good place, then people will be attracted to that and even if it isn't someone you want to be with, then at least you are still doing things that make you happy.

Best wishes missfee!

missfee said:

paintedlady said:

First I had to learn to open my mind and learn the difference between infatuation and love.

All this "love" and "connection" yet you two are NOT together? Maybe its not love dear.... be open to that and you will heal faster, or deny that and you can still "love" him forever and ever and ever just the way you are now.

Well its a thing of we've been friends for so long, we were in a romantic relationship on and off for 4 years but it didn't work out. I cut him off for two years hoping to get over him...during that time I had a relationship with somebody else and it didn't work because I wasn't over him still. Now we are friends again but at the same time we have acknowledged that we still love each other. We are really close, like each other's best friend, we can tell each other anything. But I don't think we have another chance at romance, if it was meant to work, it would have a long time ago. I just think I need to move on and just accept that its okay to care for him, I will always love him, but we are only meant to be friends.

[Edited 6/1/11 5:07am]

Maybe a complete clean break is in order for you to deal with your residual feelings. Hoping you meet someone that tugs at your heart and mind; I'm sure it will happen as everone says, when you least expect it.

CallMeCarrie said:

free2bfreeda said:

IN HIS OWN WORDS
Stephen Stills lyrics

Love the One You’re With
by Stephen Stills

If you’re down and confused, and you don’t remember who you’re talkin’ to. Concentration slip away, ‘cause your baby is so far away.

Well there’s a rose in the fisted glove and the eagle flies with the dove, and if you can’t be with the one you love, honey, love the one you’re with, love the one you’re with, love the one you’re with, love the one you’re with.

I love this song!!

It's hard when love isn't reciprocated! IMO it is best to date more or at least be open to being around guys even if it isn't an official date. I've surprised myself by finding strong attraction that turned into love when I thought no one could live up to my previous man.

And although this may be hard to do...try not to talk or be around the guy that you can't get over. You can still be nice if you do see him, but it makes it so hard to find someone new if you are still close with the guy you can't get over.

The most important thing is to do things that make you happy. When you are in a good place, then people will be attracted to that and even if it isn't someone you want to be with, then at least you are still doing things that make you happy.

Best wishes missfee!

Thx

TD3 said:

missfee said:

Well its a thing of we've been friends for so long, we were in a romantic relationship on and off for 4 years but it didn't work out. I cut him off for two years hoping to get over him...during that time I had a relationship with somebody else and it didn't work because I wasn't over him still. Now we are friends again but at the same time we have acknowledged that we still love each other. We are really close, like each other's best friend, we can tell each other anything. But I don't think we have another chance at romance, if it was meant to work, it would have a long time ago. I just think I need to move on and just accept that its okay to care for him, I will always love him, but we are only meant to be friends.

[Edited 6/1/11 5:07am]

Maybe a complete clean break is in order for you to deal with your residual feelings. Hoping you meet someone that tugs at your heart and mind; I'm sure it will happen as everone says, when you least expect it.

I'm sure it will too. Thx for the advice

missfee said:

TD3 said:

Maybe a complete clean break is in order for you to deal with your residual feelings. Hoping you meet someone that tugs at your heart and mind; I'm sure it will happen as everone says, when you least expect it.

I'm sure it will too. Thx for the advice

We've all been there, just realize that its OK to care about someone. Its OK to love them, but its not OK to put yourself in a situation that doesn't work for you.

A clean break is always best. I can not stay buddies with my ex's for that very reason, because it keeps you yoked to that person and that very "friendship" turns into missed opportunity someone else gets to take advantage of because you didn't make yourself available to that option keeping your heart locked up.

Opportunities never die, someone else just gets them. There are ALWAYS opportunities.

You deserve more... you deserve total happiness! You didn't settle for good reason, don't stop your self from finding a better match to share life with.

missfee said:

Maybe I should just date more. I should be able to meet someone else who can I connect deeply with right? Or is that just a fantasy and I'll either have to settle for someone I just love but not in love with or just be alone the rest of my life. [Edited 5/28/11 7:50am]

If "just being alone" is "just being alone," then I wouldn't want to marry you.

Because then I'd be "just being" with you.

Develop a rich, fulfilling life of your own! When my true love and I met, we had both been single for years, and building the kind of lives we wanted for ourselves - not spending our time searching every single interaction for a deep connection. The things we eac did and learned and became in our single time are the very things that made us attracted to each other - and still keep things interesting five years later.

P.S. DON'T settle for someone you're not in love with! You'll meet your true love when you're married to the dud, then you'll have to be an adulteress!

PunkMistress said:

missfee said:

Maybe I should just date more. I should be able to meet someone else who can I connect deeply with right? Or is that just a fantasy and I'll either have to settle for someone I just love but not in love with or just be alone the rest of my life. [Edited 5/28/11 7:50am]

If "just being alone" is "just being alone," then I wouldn't want to marry you.

Because then I'd be "just being" with you.

Develop a rich, fulfilling life of your own! When my true love and I met, we had both been single for years, and building the kind of lives we wanted for ourselves - not spending our time searching every single interaction for a deep connection. The things we eac did and learned and became in our single time are the very things that made us attracted to each other - and still keep things interesting five years later.

P.S. DON'T settle for someone you're not in love with! You'll meet your true love when you're married to the dud, then you'll have to be an adulteress!

That (bolded part) is crucial... nothing turns anyone off more than a spirit of desperation. A happy, healthy, and fullfilled you will attract the a partner with the same qualities.

PunkMistress said:

missfee said:

Maybe I should just date more. I should be able to meet someone else who can I connect deeply with right? Or is that just a fantasy and I'll either have to settle for someone I just love but not in love with or just be alone the rest of my life. [Edited 5/28/11 7:50am]

If "just being alone" is "just being alone," then I wouldn't want to marry you.

Because then I'd be "just being" with you.

Develop a rich, fulfilling life of your own! When my true love and I met, we had both been single for years, and building the kind of lives we wanted for ourselves - not spending our time searching every single interaction for a deep connection. The things we eac did and learned and became in our single time are the very things that made us attracted to each other - and still keep things interesting five years later.

P.S. DON'T settle for someone you're not in love with! You'll meet your true love when you're married to the dud, then you'll have to be an adulteress!

I get your drift...I'm planning on going on a trip to London with the networking group I hold a membership with...quite excited about it too.

Love gets confused with obsession oftentimes.

missfee said:

PunkMistress said:

If "just being alone" is "just being alone," then I wouldn't want to marry you.

Because then I'd be "just being" with you.

Develop a rich, fulfilling life of your own! When my true love and I met, we had both been single for years, and building the kind of lives we wanted for ourselves - not spending our time searching every single interaction for a deep connection. The things we eac did and learned and became in our single time are the very things that made us attracted to each other - and still keep things interesting five years later.

P.S. DON'T settle for someone you're not in love with! You'll meet your true love when you're married to the dud, then you'll have to be an adulteress!

I get your drift...I'm planning on going on a trip to London with the networking group I hold a membership with...quite excited about it too.

Sounds great!

dJJ said:

Love gets confused with obsession oftentimes.

That's true, but that isn't in this case.

you mean, love and infatuation get mixed up , and this can feel like obsession

i hope time will fix it all up..........

seriously....it hurts like hell

Yes it hurts!

That's not a bad thing. The hurt is as much a part of life as is the love. Both is intense.

The hurt will lessen in time.

Suddenly you will notice that there has been a whole day that you didn't think about him.

Then it will be a week.

Then months.

And then, a friend will remind you of him, during a drunk conversation. And you will think:

"O, lawd, that guy! I almost forgot about him. Can't believe I spend soooo much time procrastinating over him, backthen, while I could have done so many things that would have made me happy. I guess that's how we learn to spend time at trying to learn what makes us happy..."

Move on. I've been forcing myself to make time for my art work eventhough I work crazy hours. Its the only thing that keeps me from going insane. I've made a point to involve myself in more art shows and networking (and modeling!) So far I've met a lot of 'interesting' people and dudes . I travel more and I'm getting to do things that I could never get him to do with me. I'm still sad sometimes but I'm loving it. Its exciting.