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Thread started 05/02/11 9:06pm

SagsWay2low

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MESSAGE FOR A CELEBRITY thread

Message for Orger threads always end up with one of my alters fighting with a banned orger's alter or something like that.

Or with mdiver thinking his opinions absolutely need to be heard.

Or with johnart arranging somekind of craigslist style hookup.

Or with the witches of orgwick turning it into a Danny Noriega thread (don't ask.)

So here goes:

Dear celebrity:

Dances with wolves is a god awful movie. You've ruined so many hours of my life that I feel bereft of both time and hope. Also, was that even a British accent in Robin Hood? You sounded like Madonna does when she's trying to sound poshy-quazi-british---like a fucktard.

Also, your voice grates...It just grates... I really just wish you'd gotten a job at the toll booth or whatever, cause your movie career upsets me.

.

[Edited 5/3/11 3:54am]



You're a real fucker. You act like you own this place--ParanoidAndroid <-- about as witty as this princess gets! lol
I hope everyone pays more attention to Sags posts--sweething mushy

Jesus weeps disbelief
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Reply #1 posted 05/03/11 3:50am

XxAxX

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dear bob:

when will you realize we are meant to be together?

love, me

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Reply #2 posted 05/03/11 4:16am

ZombieKitten

Dear kishi bashi or Jupiter One please play a show where I can go see it!
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Reply #3 posted 05/03/11 10:09am

dJJ

Dear Angelina,

I'm up for adoption. Please, adopt me and let me life with you and your husband in your castle in France beg

[Edited 5/3/11 10:10am]

99% of my posts are ironic. Maybe this post sides with the other 1%.
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Reply #4 posted 05/03/11 10:16am

Efan

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Dear Celebrity,

You may have recently received a silly letter from someone named Sags who apparently has forgotten just how smokin'-hot foine you were back in the day. Also, how you're still kinda hot and plenty bangable right now. You of course have made several unforgivable movies (that one where you porked Jennifer Aniston? Was everyone smoking crack while making that one? I mean, it was Jennifer Aniston. Come on. Also, she played your daughter in the movie, so it was pretty gross to put incest in a romantic comedy, but mostly we were just upset that it was Jennifer Aniston). Anyway, bygones about that one because you've actually made some pretty decent movies recently, so all is forgiven.

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Reply #5 posted 05/03/11 10:39am

Nothinbutjoy

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Dear Celebrity,

Can I just say that I adore you and every movie you've been in that I've seen. One of them stars an American actor who couldn't even be bothered to have the accent needed for his role, but YOU were over-the-top fantastic!!

I'd love to have lunch with you sometime in the future when I finally make my long-time dream trip to England. Should that lunch turn into more, well, you'll get no argument from me.

Thinking of you...alot.

Me

I'm firmly planted in denial
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Reply #6 posted 05/03/11 10:42am

Efan

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Dear Celebrity,

Some would say I should get over it, but I still want my fucking $77 back.

P.S. All three of those albums sucked balls.

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Reply #7 posted 05/03/11 10:44am

dJJ

Dear Celebrity,

It's been a while now. Still miss you every day. Why did it have to go like this? Was there no other way?

99% of my posts are ironic. Maybe this post sides with the other 1%.
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Reply #8 posted 05/03/11 12:02pm

Hershe

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Oh, dear,

Where are my flowers, candies, poems, love letters, romantic weekends, credit cards?

Still waiting,

kiss
[Edited 5/3/11 12:03pm]
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Reply #9 posted 05/03/11 12:48pm

wildgoldenhone
y

hmmm

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Reply #10 posted 05/03/11 12:58pm

formallypickle
s

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Dear Celebrity,

You were my best friend on the org could you please post on here again sometime.

Yours truly , McMillan

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Reply #11 posted 05/03/11 1:18pm

dJJ

formallypickles said:

Dear Celebrity,

You were my best friend on the org could you please post on here again sometime.

Yours truly , McMillan

Honey,

I'm posting constantly!

99% of my posts are ironic. Maybe this post sides with the other 1%.
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Reply #12 posted 05/03/11 1:25pm

NDRU

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Dear Celebrity

I wish as much scrutiny was given to your art (if you actually create any) as to your personal life.

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Reply #13 posted 05/03/11 5:40pm

lPoeticl

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Dear Celebrity,

I guess you never got my other letters. I think its unfair that you spend half a show signing boobs, yet my boobs always miss the action. Thanks for nothing...

This better antonb and PurpleSpirit319
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Reply #14 posted 05/03/11 5:50pm

formallypickle
s

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dJJ said:

formallypickles said:

Dear Celebrity,

You were my best friend on the org could you please post on here again sometime.

Yours truly , McMillan

Honey,

I'm posting constantly!

lol

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Reply #15 posted 05/03/11 9:55pm

physco185

Dearest Famous Person,

i have so much hidden talent can i be your next protege..... i promise it will be the most successful venture u have undertaken in years!!!!!!!!

No i can't sing... but at least i am honest about it smile

oh and one more thing...... i know this is rather insignificant... but i too can still ride a bike smile

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Reply #16 posted 05/09/11 2:04am

SagsWay2low

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Dear Celebrity,

I don't know why everybody made such a big deal about your Superbowl wardrobe malfunction, honestly. THey should have been more focused on your plastic surgery malfunctions instead. lawd



You're a real fucker. You act like you own this place--ParanoidAndroid <-- about as witty as this princess gets! lol
I hope everyone pays more attention to Sags posts--sweething mushy

Jesus weeps disbelief
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Reply #17 posted 05/09/11 8:23am

itsnotallover

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Dear Celebrity

I really don't care about your relationships with whoever, I don't give a crap about how big your tits are, I don't care that you wanna go and live in America but your ex celeb husband doesn't want you to take his kids with you. In fact I really couldn't care less about anything and everything you do, so please, please, please fuck off to america and lets see how long they can tolerate you for, cuz I am sure it would be less than a third of the time it took for you to piss the british public off. You make a mockery of women around the world by parading your childs disability in front of the media and pretend you care, when was the last time you read him a bedtime story? oh sorry thats what your nanny is for........... How the fuck you won role model of the year and mother of the year I will never know, although this does prove my theory that the British public are being consumed by crack addiction.

Yours sincerely,

Your No. 1 hater.

P.S. Im sorry, I forgot to ask, besides BJ's what exactly is your given talent?

razz

Life is short, don't be a dick.

R.I.P Prince - Thank you for your Music, Your Talent and for helping me find out who I was and am.
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Reply #18 posted 05/09/11 9:07am

SagsWay2low

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itsnotallover said:

Dear Celebrity

I really don't care about your relationships with whoever, I don't give a crap about how big your tits are, I don't care that you wanna go and live in America but your ex celeb husband doesn't want you to take his kids with you. In fact I really couldn't care less about anything and everything you do, so please, please, please fuck off to america and lets see how long they can tolerate you for, cuz I am sure it would be less than a third of the time it took for you to piss the british public off. You make a mockery of women around the world by parading your childs disability in front of the media and pretend you care, when was the last time you read him a bedtime story? oh sorry thats what your nanny is for........... How the fuck you won role model of the year and mother of the year I will never know, although this does prove my theory that the British public are being consumed by crack addiction.

Yours sincerely,

Your No. 1 hater.

P.S. Im sorry, I forgot to ask, besides BJ's what exactly is your given talent?

razz

oh my god lol



You're a real fucker. You act like you own this place--ParanoidAndroid <-- about as witty as this princess gets! lol
I hope everyone pays more attention to Sags posts--sweething mushy

Jesus weeps disbelief
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Reply #19 posted 05/09/11 9:12am

XxAxX

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dear Bruce:

keep up the good work, you're awesome!!!!!!!!!!

love, me

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Reply #20 posted 05/09/11 11:07am

itsnotallover

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SagsWay2low said:

itsnotallover said:

Dear Celebrity

I really don't care about your relationships with whoever, I don't give a crap about how big your tits are, I don't care that you wanna go and live in America but your ex celeb husband doesn't want you to take his kids with you. In fact I really couldn't care less about anything and everything you do, so please, please, please fuck off to america and lets see how long they can tolerate you for, cuz I am sure it would be less than a third of the time it took for you to piss the british public off. You make a mockery of women around the world by parading your childs disability in front of the media and pretend you care, when was the last time you read him a bedtime story? oh sorry thats what your nanny is for........... How the fuck you won role model of the year and mother of the year I will never know, although this does prove my theory that the British public are being consumed by crack addiction.

Yours sincerely,

Your No. 1 hater.

P.S. Im sorry, I forgot to ask, besides BJ's what exactly is your given talent?

razz

oh my god lol

Too much? razz

Life is short, don't be a dick.

R.I.P Prince - Thank you for your Music, Your Talent and for helping me find out who I was and am.
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Reply #21 posted 05/09/11 12:15pm

ThruTheEyesOfW
onder

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Dear celebrity,

I am seriously fucking sick of this shitty music you're releasing and hyping it up as if it's the Second Coming. Trying to make yourself a legend when you don't realize it takes time and effort and actual talent, not autotune, off-rythmn mechanicanized beats, and lame dance steps. Your music has no melody, no purpose, and no sense. It inspires nothing but angst.And not even the good kind.

Another thing that pisses me off even more is the fact you feel the need to expose your skinny ass self in order to be more popular, and wear stupid ass outfits to get noticed, rather than putting your heart and soul into the "revolutionary" musical sound you're supposed to be making. You should be noticed for your music, not your fucked up image, and certainly not just for the fact your have a nice ass. I also don't know why you brag, that's right, brag, about your addiction of various drugs such as cocaine, saying they're done "leisurely". What kind of role model are you being for children, especially young women? You keep telling yourself it's social use when you're in rehab.

Your cult following piss me off to no end either. They'd rather accept the garbage you call music than to actually call you out on it. Quit telling them you invented your type of music when everyone knows damn well you're ripping off other artist's music and selling it back as your own.

And another thing, quit going around saying you're the next MJ, Stevie Wonder, Prince, or anyone else who've made their legendary mark on the music world. Make YOUR OWN MARK. Be creative and make something that's uniquely yours.

I will never consider you a true legend unless you make one song, hell one album, that's unique, fresh, and actually satisfies my auditory sense. Make an iconic album, and then...just maybe...you will be a true star. Because a true star is not solely measured by fame or image...but by the music they make and the people they enlighten.

Yours faithfully,

ThruTheEyesOfWonder

PS..I am not a crackpot. razz

spelling edit


[Edited 5/9/11 12:19pm]

The salvation of man is through love and in love. - Dr. V. Frankl

"When you close your heart, you close your mind." - Michael Jackson (Man In The Mirror)

"I don't need anger management, I need people to stop pissing me off" lol
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Reply #22 posted 05/09/11 12:44pm

JoeTyler

Dear Celebrity

I think that "Dances with Wolves" is one of the best movies of all time. Certainly better than the overlong and bleak "Goodfellas". It made us remember that we basically slaughtered the native indians, something that makes us just as bad as the brits, the spaniards, the dutch or the frenchy and other colonialists. I also think that you're a vastly underrated actor. I prefer your subtle-low key style than the histrionics of tards like Nicolas Cage or even Jack Nicholson. You're like the hot & blonde version of Dustin Hoffman. Also, despite being a pretty man, you take no shit and you talk like a badass. Your voice is deep and imposing. Who could forget your performance in "The Untouchables"??. Sadly, you starred in that big pile of shit with Shitney Houston, but you redeemed yourself the following year with "A Perfect World". And I also think that your Robin Hood is more enjoyable than the dated and unrealistic Errol "Jerk" Flynn version. Of course, nothing can be as bad as that old and overrated snoozefest, but thank you nonetheless. Your chemistry with Morgan Freeman was exhilarating. After 1993, though, you're career has been pretty crappy, starting with that aquatic ripoff of "The Road Warrior", but you starred in that underrated political masterpiece called "13 Days", which honors you. "JFK", on the other hand, bored me to tears, but I respect the effort. Finally, I want to say that although I'm heterosexual (sort of) you're one of the few man in the world who I wouldn't mind giving him an oil massage, while talking about love, life, politics, war, Hollywood, or whatever.

Sincerely. John, aka JoeTyler.

[Edited 5/9/11 12:47pm]

tinkerbell
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Reply #23 posted 05/09/11 2:48pm

Spinlight

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JoeTyler said:

Dear Celebrity

I think that "Dances with Wolves" is one of the best movies of all time. Certainly better than the overlong and bleak "Goodfellas". It made us remember that we basically slaughtered the native indians, something that makes us just as bad as the brits, the spaniards, the dutch or the frenchy and other colonialists. I also think that you're a vastly underrated actor. I prefer your subtle-low key style than the histrionics of tards like Nicolas Cage or even Jack Nicholson. You're like the hot & blonde version of Dustin Hoffman. Also, despite being a pretty man, you take no shit and you talk like a badass. Your voice is deep and imposing. Who could forget your performance in "The Untouchables"??. Sadly, you starred in that big pile of shit with Shitney Houston, but you redeemed yourself the following year with "A Perfect World". And I also think that your Robin Hood is more enjoyable than the dated and unrealistic Errol "Jerk" Flynn version. Of course, nothing can be as bad as that old and overrated snoozefest, but thank you nonetheless. Your chemistry with Morgan Freeman was exhilarating. After 1993, though, you're career has been pretty crappy, starting with that aquatic ripoff of "The Road Warrior", but you starred in that underrated political masterpiece called "13 Days", which honors you. "JFK", on the other hand, bored me to tears, but I respect the effort. Finally, I want to say that although I'm heterosexual (sort of) you're one of the few man in the world who I wouldn't mind giving him an oil massage, while talking about love, life, politics, war, Hollywood, or whatever.

Sincerely. John, aka JoeTyler.

[Edited 5/9/11 12:47pm]

You mean native Americans...

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Reply #24 posted 05/09/11 2:54pm

JoeTyler

Spinlight said:

JoeTyler said:

Dear Celebrity

I think that "Dances with Wolves" is one of the best movies of all time. Certainly better than the overlong and bleak "Goodfellas". It made us remember that we basically slaughtered the native indians, something that makes us just as bad as the brits, the spaniards, the dutch or the frenchy and other colonialists. I also think that you're a vastly underrated actor. I prefer your subtle-low key style than the histrionics of tards like Nicolas Cage or even Jack Nicholson. You're like the hot & blonde version of Dustin Hoffman. Also, despite being a pretty man, you take no shit and you talk like a badass. Your voice is deep and imposing. Who could forget your performance in "The Untouchables"??. Sadly, you starred in that big pile of shit with Shitney Houston, but you redeemed yourself the following year with "A Perfect World". And I also think that your Robin Hood is more enjoyable than the dated and unrealistic Errol "Jerk" Flynn version. Of course, nothing can be as bad as that old and overrated snoozefest, but thank you nonetheless. Your chemistry with Morgan Freeman was exhilarating. After 1993, though, you're career has been pretty crappy, starting with that aquatic ripoff of "The Road Warrior", but you starred in that underrated political masterpiece called "13 Days", which honors you. "JFK", on the other hand, bored me to tears, but I respect the effort. Finally, I want to say that although I'm heterosexual (sort of) you're one of the few man in the world who I wouldn't mind giving him an oil massage, while talking about love, life, politics, war, Hollywood, or whatever.

Sincerely. John, aka JoeTyler.

[Edited 5/9/11 12:47pm]

You mean native Americans...

uh? yeah, yeah yes, obviously. I stand corrected

tinkerbell
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Reply #25 posted 05/10/11 9:46am

SagsWay2low

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JoeTyler said:

Dear Celebrity

I think that "Dances with Wolves" is one of the best movies of all time. Certainly better than the overlong and bleak "Goodfellas". It made us remember that we basically slaughtered the native indians, something that makes us just as bad as the brits, the spaniards, the dutch or the frenchy and other colonialists. I also think that you're a vastly underrated actor. I prefer your subtle-low key style than the histrionics of tards like Nicolas Cage or even Jack Nicholson. You're like the hot & blonde version of Dustin Hoffman. Also, despite being a pretty man, you take no shit and you talk like a badass. Your voice is deep and imposing. Who could forget your performance in "The Untouchables"??. Sadly, you starred in that big pile of shit with Shitney Houston, but you redeemed yourself the following year with "A Perfect World". And I also think that your Robin Hood is more enjoyable than the dated and unrealistic Errol "Jerk" Flynn version. Of course, nothing can be as bad as that old and overrated snoozefest, but thank you nonetheless. Your chemistry with Morgan Freeman was exhilarating. After 1993, though, you're career has been pretty crappy, starting with that aquatic ripoff of "The Road Warrior", but you starred in that underrated political masterpiece called "13 Days", which honors you. "JFK", on the other hand, bored me to tears, but I respect the effort. Finally, I want to say that although I'm heterosexual (sort of) you're one of the few man in the world who I wouldn't mind giving him an oil massage, while talking about love, life, politics, war, Hollywood, or whatever.

Sincerely. John, aka JoeTyler.

[Edited 5/9/11 12:47pm]

mods, this post deserves at least a warning, if not a temp ban.

The celebrity eluded to here is guilty of crimes against humanity for Waterworld alone.



You're a real fucker. You act like you own this place--ParanoidAndroid <-- about as witty as this princess gets! lol
I hope everyone pays more attention to Sags posts--sweething mushy

Jesus weeps disbelief
  - E-mail - orgNote - Report post to moderator
Reply #26 posted 05/10/11 10:34am

JoeTyler

SagsWay2low said:

JoeTyler said:

Dear Celebrity

I think that "Dances with Wolves" is one of the best movies of all time. Certainly better than the overlong and bleak "Goodfellas". It made us remember that we basically slaughtered the native indians, something that makes us just as bad as the brits, the spaniards, the dutch or the frenchy and other colonialists. I also think that you're a vastly underrated actor. I prefer your subtle-low key style than the histrionics of tards like Nicolas Cage or even Jack Nicholson. You're like the hot & blonde version of Dustin Hoffman. Also, despite being a pretty man, you take no shit and you talk like a badass. Your voice is deep and imposing. Who could forget your performance in "The Untouchables"??. Sadly, you starred in that big pile of shit with Shitney Houston, but you redeemed yourself the following year with "A Perfect World". And I also think that your Robin Hood is more enjoyable than the dated and unrealistic Errol "Jerk" Flynn version. Of course, nothing can be as bad as that old and overrated snoozefest, but thank you nonetheless. Your chemistry with Morgan Freeman was exhilarating. After 1993, though, you're career has been pretty crappy, starting with that aquatic ripoff of "The Road Warrior", but you starred in that underrated political masterpiece called "13 Days", which honors you. "JFK", on the other hand, bored me to tears, but I respect the effort. Finally, I want to say that although I'm heterosexual (sort of) you're one of the few man in the world who I wouldn't mind giving him an oil massage, while talking about love, life, politics, war, Hollywood, or whatever.

Sincerely. John, aka JoeTyler.

[Edited 5/9/11 12:47pm]

mods, this post deserves at least a warning, if not a temp ban.

The celebrity eluded to here is guilty of crimes against humanity for Waterworld alone.

"say that again, sugar"


tinkerbell
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Reply #27 posted 05/10/11 3:51pm

XxAxX

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Dear Mr. Celebrity:

I don't believe a word of it. Not. One. Word. BUT, if it were to be true, *someone* deserves a spanking batting eyes

Love,

me.

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Reply #28 posted 05/10/11 4:22pm

dreamfactory31
3

Dear Celebrity,

You are both the world's biggest douche and biggest genius. Having said that, I hope to see you in LA this month.

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Reply #29 posted 05/10/11 4:28pm

XxAxX

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^ eek lol lindsay lohan, right? smile

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