LightOfArt said:

Serious said:

DoffieParker said:

there's plenty more fish in the sea!

That would be the very last thing I would want to hear in that situation.

Sadly, it's exactly what we need to hear in that situation.

When the relationship is definitely over, then it's time to move on.

www.plentyoffish.com

...and occassionally...OCCASSIONALLY...that person that no longer wanted you suddenly changes his/her mind when you're in the arms of someone else.

At least that's what I've been told. I don't know how I would feel if that were to happen to me. Too much trust/respect/love lost.

PurpleJedi said:

Serious said:

LightOfArt said:

When I got dumped the only thing that eased my pain was eating loads of pasta and watching chick flicks. I gained 20 pounds in 2 months but thats another story.

another thing that worked for me, I learned to transform my love and pain into hate...

Write down your dreams that did not involve her to begin with...

Also I have a friend who has a great method as well....everytime he's out of a relationship he says shagging 5 different better looking people makes him get over it.

this shall pass too

How ugly are the women he's with ?

good question except he's into guys...bottom too....ofcourse he claims he's top

Militant,

I'm sorry to hear about your troubles. Advice is sure easier to give than it is to take, but hang in there! The emotions that you are dealing with now won't last forever, so do whatever you need to do to get through today and the next day and the next. Eventually you'll find it isn't as hard to deal with.

I think the support and positive comments from your fellow orgers reflect positively on the type of man that you are, to have so many people pulling for you!

Take care!

xoxo

Carrie

LightOfArt said:

Sorry to hear about this, dude.

[Edited 4/26/11 14:53pm]

Number23 said:

PunkMistress said:

Anti-depressants bring certain chemicals up to normal levels, allowing the patient to deal with life from a normal baseline.

If you're already at normal levels of those chemicals, you probably wouldn't feel much of a difference.

Cheers erin, I was genuinely curious. Back to the MDMA then, lol.

PunkMistress said:

Militant said:

I wish I had the strength to reply to you all individually.... even writing a sentence is hard right now.

But I appreciate all your replies so much.... and I'm listening to all your advice.

I am trying not to contact her. In a moment of weakness yesterday, after one anti-depressant wore off and before I took another, I called her at work and was stupid enough to message a co-worker and friend of hers to try and "put in a good word" about how how I'd do anything to make this work. Fucking stupid thing to do because I just look more needy and clingy and chances are that's part of the problem in the first place. Ugh. Well, just one of the lessons I've learned.

Thank fuck for anti-depressants, right? It's time to focus on #1. In all honesty - probably haven't done that enough over the last few years.

Don't beat yourself up too much.

At least you will never look back and say, "Maybe if she just knew how much I loved her..." You at least know that you did your part to try and make it work and stayed honest about your feelings instead of becoming a dick like many men when they feel rejected.

You've got loving friends here, and we support you in focusing on your health and happiness!

And yes, thank fuck for anti-depressants.

I agree Erin

Militant said:

So my wife broke the news to me yesterday, after almost 5 years of marriage and 7 years together, that she wants a divorce. I just got my VISA to move to the States to be with her and was planning to move there in a few months time. I'm crushed, confused and heartbroken. She says the visa getting approved meant she had to confront the reality of the situation - of us being together permanently - and she doesn't think she'll be happy and says I'm no longer the man she fell in love with.

I've never felt so crushed in my whole life. it's like my whole world has fallen down. There also seems to be another guy in the picture - some trainer she met at a new gym she started going to not too long ago. So no doubt he's been enforcing her doubts for his own gains and there's nothing I can do about it. It fucking sucks, I cried for hours yesterday and today and now I'm simply having to stay on anti-depressants and face the reality of the situation.

No kids involved and we did get married young - I just turned 24. So at least it won't be a complicated affair. But I was so excited to move to the States, I thought we were going to start a family and it would be the beginning of a new chapter in my life. So I'm kinda feeling lost and confused about what I should do now.

This is the hardest thing I've ever had to deal with I can't sleep, I can't eat, I can't even watch TV because all the shows I like, we used to watch together. So much music is off limits because I know certain songs will make me bawl and I have to try and stay positive. I know I'll make it through the other side but it's going to be very hard.

:'(

:'(

:'(

Oh that sucks

Sorry

I know you've heard it before but you will get through it and it does get better-

I've had break ups before (I know not the same as a marriage but still) where I was literally on the floor ready to die and now I almost have to think hard to remember their names. You really will get better and get through it and find someone who appreciates you

I appreciate the "plenty of fish" sentiment... even clicked on the link for shits and giggles.... but yeah, I'm kinda more on Serious side of the fence.

I can't even think about being with another person right now. I'm not in the right place. And it would be a bad idea anyhow. Until I get my own shit straight and do a hell of a lot of soul searching, it wouldn't be fair to anyone else either.

Shit, even a one night stand would not go so well with me right now LOL. Y'all know that scene in "Forgetting Sarah Marshall" when Jason Segel's character tries to have a one night stand after he gets dumped, gets into bed with the girl and just starts crying? Pretty sure that would be me right now

and hey Militant, I'm so sorry. You must feel very bad, but I promise things will get better. big

.

.

sent you an orgnote mate...lets us know if your ok .....

.

.

Militant said:

I appreciate the "plenty of fish" sentiment... even clicked on the link for shits and giggles.... but yeah, I'm kinda more on Serious side of the fence.

I can't even think about being with another person right now. I'm not in the right place. And it would be a bad idea anyhow. Until I get my own shit straight and do a hell of a lot of soul searching, it wouldn't be fair to anyone else either.

Shit, even a one night stand would not go so well with me right now LOL. Y'all know that scene in "Forgetting Sarah Marshall" when Jason Segel's character tries to have a one night stand after he gets dumped, gets into bed with the girl and just starts crying? Pretty sure that would be me right now

I feel ya. Right now things are TOO heavy for you to get involved with someone else. Take some time out and reexamine everything and see if that helps to sort things out...

[Edited 4/26/11 17:06pm]

[Edited 4/26/11 17:07pm]

Militant said:

Shit, even a one night stand would not go so well with me right now LOL. Y'all know that scene in "Forgetting Sarah Marshall" when Jason Segel's character tries to have a one night stand after he gets dumped, gets into bed with the girl and just starts crying? Pretty sure that would be me right now

LOVED that movie (...and the soundtrack).

Sorry for your pain, time truly heals all wounds. Feel better soon in time.

I'm sorry I'm going through a divorce too. I hope you mae it thru it all alright. It's hard at first, but trust me it gets easier.

Thanks guys.... I appreciate it so much.... right now I'm just having the most intense mood swings of my life.... just feeling positive one minute and totally broken and in tears the next......I still love her with all my heart and it's just so hard :'( :'(

Militant said:

Thanks guys.... I appreciate it so much.... right now I'm just having the most intense mood swings of my life.... just feeling positive one minute and totally broken and in tears the next......I still love her with all my heart and it's just so hard :'( :'(

You deserve so much better. And you'll see that in time.

[Edited 4/26/11 19:01pm]

Militant said:

Thanks guys.... I appreciate it so much.... right now I'm just having the most intense mood swings of my life.... just feeling positive one minute and totally broken and in tears the next......I still love her with all my heart and it's just so hard :'( :'(

Militant said:

Thanks guys.... I appreciate it so much.... right now I'm just having the most intense mood swings of my life.... just feeling positive one minute and totally broken and in tears the next......I still love her with all my heart and it's just so hard :'( :'(

I hear ya...take it one day at time and focus on being good to yourself, Punk Mistress is a wise lady.

Let the tears flow, knowing that you'll get through it...it's better that you found out now rather than later.

And remember that you're not alone...

Militant said:

Thanks guys.... I appreciate it so much.... right now I'm just having the most intense mood swings of my life.... just feeling positive one minute and totally broken and in tears the next......I still love her with all my heart and it's just so hard :'( :'(

So sorry this is happening to you suga...

Perfect song for how your feeling.

We know how you feel man...

Mili needs a black girl, that's my prescription.

so sorry to hear about this.

I do think it's healthy and healing for you to get out all your emotions and not keep them bottled up, whether it be on a forum like this, through work or a hobby

2freaky4church1 said:

Mili needs a black girl, that's my prescription.

You could be right.

they say everything happens for a reason. hope this works out for your betterment

When will the mood swings end

I was doing OK this morning and now I'm in floods of tears again.

I've barely eaten a thing for the last few days, and when I tried to force myself to eat, I felt sick almost straight away.

I thought I knew pain.... but this... this is something else.

Militant said:

When will the mood swings end

I was doing OK this morning and now I'm in floods of tears again.

I've barely eaten a thing for the last few days, and when I tried to force myself to eat, I felt sick almost straight away.

I thought I knew pain.... but this... this is something else.

it's fucking awful i know, nothing anyone can say or do can mend your nightmare.If im honest your probably gonna feel worse this time next week believe it or not.

You have to take charge of the situation and really confront her as to the seriousness of all this, women are far stronger than us mere men, speak to this other guy! he may be unaware of the situation.

In your head is so many unanswered questions.Ask them!!only then can you start to rebuild this mess.But come across as strong never needy, listen were all routing for ya, your to nice a fella for all this shit..."baby better wake up before your ass is gone"..she's bound to be lurkin

This time next year your gonna be happy as Larry...