i understand your pain and i wish you all the very best!!!!!

just remember this..... things only get better!!!!!!!

Give yourself time to grieve man. The pain will eventually subside, but you need to release all those emotions. Talk to people...it helps, TRUST ME. Even orgnoting is amazingly therapeutic.

Just be thankful that you're young and have no kids. It'll be much easier for you to pick up the pieces and move on.

Stay strong!

Man... Really sorry to hear/read Casey. Big hug bro. If you wanna talk sometime or just vent you know where to find me.

Really sorry to hear all this. Take care of yourself. That's incredibly tough to go through.

Militant said:

Sorry 2 hear that.......but there is a bright side.

A ton of single honeys on the West coast.

I'd be thankful that she told u before u got here.

Sorry you're going through this.

I'm sorry to hear this.

Don't be surprised if in a year or so, she comes calling trying to get back with you. The grass is not always greener on the other side.

When I got dumped the only thing that eased my pain was eating loads of pasta and watching chick flicks. I gained 20 pounds in 2 months but thats another story.

another thing that worked for me, I learned to transform my love and pain into hate...

Write down your dreams that did not involve her to begin with...

Also I have a friend who has a great method as well....everytime he's out of a relationship he says shagging 5 different better looking people makes him get over it.

this shall pass too

LightOfArt said:

When I got dumped the only thing that eased my pain was eating loads of pasta and watching chick flicks. I gained 20 pounds in 2 months but thats another story.

another thing that worked for me, I learned to transform my love and pain into hate...

Write down your dreams that did not involve her to begin with...

Also I have a friend who has a great method as well....everytime he's out of a relationship he says shagging 5 different better looking people makes him get over it.

this shall pass too

That's one thing that I have a hard time with.

I cannot "hate" her, as much as I want to. Instead, I'm aiming to detach myself emotionally and become distant and uncaring.

That's the goal, at least.

PurpleJedi said:

LightOfArt said:

When I got dumped the only thing that eased my pain was eating loads of pasta and watching chick flicks. I gained 20 pounds in 2 months but thats another story.

another thing that worked for me, I learned to transform my love and pain into hate...

Write down your dreams that did not involve her to begin with...

Also I have a friend who has a great method as well....everytime he's out of a relationship he says shagging 5 different better looking people makes him get over it.

this shall pass too

That's one thing that I have a hard time with.

I cannot "hate" her, as much as I want to. Instead, I'm aiming to detach myself emotionally and become distant and uncaring.

That's the goal, at least.

Well, I guess everybody has their own defense mechanism. I hope this phase will evade and you will be able to connect with the world and yourself.

There are so many phases in a grief proces, going back and forth. I do think it encompasses a lot of life lessons.

Lesson 1: go on the org and get support

I am sorry this is happening to you! I truly hope all will work out in the end.

I wish I had the strength to reply to you all individually.... even writing a sentence is hard right now.

But I appreciate all your replies so much.... and I'm listening to all your advice.

I am trying not to contact her. In a moment of weakness yesterday, after one anti-depressant wore off and before I took another, I called her at work and was stupid enough to message a co-worker and friend of hers to try and "put in a good word" about how how I'd do anything to make this work. Fucking stupid thing to do because I just look more needy and clingy and chances are that's part of the problem in the first place. Ugh. Well, just one of the lessons I've learned.

Thank fuck for anti-depressants, right? It's time to focus on #1. In all honesty - probably haven't done that enough over the last few years.

Militant said:

I wish I had the strength to reply to you all individually.... even writing a sentence is hard right now.

But I appreciate all your replies so much.... and I'm listening to all your advice.

I am trying not to contact her. In a moment of weakness yesterday, after one anti-depressant wore off and before I took another, I called her at work and was stupid enough to message a co-worker and friend of hers to try and "put in a good word" about how how I'd do anything to make this work. Fucking stupid thing to do because I just look more needy and clingy and chances are that's part of the problem in the first place. Ugh. Well, just one of the lessons I've learned.

Thank fuck for anti-depressants, right? It's time to focus on #1. In all honesty - probably haven't done that enough over the last few years.

Don't beat yourself up too much.

At least you will never look back and say, "Maybe if she just knew how much I loved her..." You at least know that you did your part to try and make it work and stayed honest about your feelings instead of becoming a dick like many men when they feel rejected.

You've got loving friends here, and we support you in focusing on your health and happiness!

And yes, thank fuck for anti-depressants.

Genuinely sorry to hear that mate, we've all been in similar shituations. Well, I actually haven't. Or anyone else I know. I've seen similar things in films though, and they were good movies mate.

PunkMistress said:

Militant said:

I wish I had the strength to reply to you all individually.... even writing a sentence is hard right now.

But I appreciate all your replies so much.... and I'm listening to all your advice.

I am trying not to contact her. In a moment of weakness yesterday, after one anti-depressant wore off and before I took another, I called her at work and was stupid enough to message a co-worker and friend of hers to try and "put in a good word" about how how I'd do anything to make this work. Fucking stupid thing to do because I just look more needy and clingy and chances are that's part of the problem in the first place. Ugh. Well, just one of the lessons I've learned.

Thank fuck for anti-depressants, right? It's time to focus on #1. In all honesty - probably haven't done that enough over the last few years.

Don't beat yourself up too much.

At least you will never look back and say, "Maybe if she just knew how much I loved her..." You at least know that you did your part to try and make it work and stayed honest about your feelings instead of becoming a dick like many men when they feel rejected.

You've got loving friends here, and we support you in focusing on your health and happiness!

And yes, thank fuck for anti-depressants.

See if you're not a depressive at all but still take anti-depressants, does it make the world sparkle like Jesus' fingernails? Just curious as to how it works. No, I hate google. Retards the brain, no knowledge bestows true gratifcation without hard work. Like this.

What the hell am I doing on the org? I thought this was facebook. Mods, please delete my posts.

Number23 said:

What the hell am I doing on the org? I thought this was facebook. Mods, please delete my posts.

lol? Delete your own posts.

Number23 said:

PunkMistress said:

Don't beat yourself up too much.

At least you will never look back and say, "Maybe if she just knew how much I loved her..." You at least know that you did your part to try and make it work and stayed honest about your feelings instead of becoming a dick like many men when they feel rejected.

You've got loving friends here, and we support you in focusing on your health and happiness!

And yes, thank fuck for anti-depressants.

See if you're not a depressive at all but still take anti-depressants, does it make the world sparkle like Jesus' fingernails? Just curious as to how it works. No, I hate google. Retards the brain, no knowledge bestows true gratifcation without hard work. Like this.

Anti-depressants bring certain chemicals up to normal levels, allowing the patient to deal with life from a normal baseline.

If you're already at normal levels of those chemicals, you probably wouldn't feel much of a difference.

PunkMistress said:

Number23 said:

See if you're not a depressive at all but still take anti-depressants, does it make the world sparkle like Jesus' fingernails? Just curious as to how it works. No, I hate google. Retards the brain, no knowledge bestows true gratifcation without hard work. Like this.

Anti-depressants bring certain chemicals up to normal levels, allowing the patient to deal with life from a normal baseline.

If you're already at normal levels of those chemicals, you probably wouldn't feel much of a difference.

Cheers erin, I was genuinely curious. Back to the MDMA then, lol.

Number23 said:

PunkMistress said:

Anti-depressants bring certain chemicals up to normal levels, allowing the patient to deal with life from a normal baseline.

If you're already at normal levels of those chemicals, you probably wouldn't feel much of a difference.

Cheers erin, I was genuinely curious. Back to the MDMA then, lol.

Right then! Opium and pot for me.

:cheers:

dJJ said:

O honey, I'm so sorry for you.

It hurts so much, especially the first few weeks. And nothing can take the pain away.

First few months is all about surviving. Allow yourself to feel the pain. Cry your eyes out. Make sure that you:

*Shower every day.

*Eat something every day. Make a soup or any other favorite meal. It's something to do and at least you might eat something.

*Keep your house neat and clean. Every day, force yourself to tidy up your house and make sure it is clean.

*Take a walk outside for at least 30 minutes every day.

Writing really helps. Just write down all of your feelings, anger, grieve, pain, memories....just everything that comes to your mind.

Start dreaming and plotting and re-invent yourself. Write down all your dreams, needs, what makes you happy, when you would be a billionaire what would you do? Just try to figure out what kind of life you need to become happy.

-Move to LA (it's sunny overthere)

-Try a job on making documentaries about music

- Indulge yourself (only as far as you can afford!)

You will survive. I know you will, you'r too strong and positive not to bounce back from this. It's just a matter of surviving the first weeks. After a few months it already will be better compared to today. Take your time and allow yourself to bowl your eyes out.

Ask your gp for a sleeping pill

So sorry to hear this, it can't and won't be easy, but this ^ above is good advice. Live through the pain you will get over it, it will take time, so don't rush it. Be good to yourself and understand its not about you....its about what's going on in her life. At some point down the road you'll realize that its the best thing that could have happened because being stuck in a bad marriage is much, much worse.

A friend of mine just went through the same thing, I would suggest that you try not calling her but if you do, (like you did) don't beat yourself up about it, its natural. Just try not to. And another word, when you start dating again, keep it light, talk to your buddies/family about how you're feeling; your dates won't want to hear it and they'll just get mad, its best to let them know you're not really ready for a committment yet and don't take advantage or mislead anyone.

Take care.

Don't blame the antidespressant for your own actions

It must be very hard not too contact her. Every time you want to, in stead of giving in to your impulse, start writing to her. Don't send it. Wait till after a month and then evaluate everything you wrote down. Step out of the pattern that got you in this situation. You really don't need any extra drama at the moment.

Keep yourself healthy, cry your heart out and feel the pain. And be strong and don't let yourself fall in that steep, deep dark hole of self pity. It will grab you, hold on to you and keep you from growing!

Give yourself time. I will get better. This too shall pass......

I'm sorry to hear this but you will become a stronger person because of this. Divorce is never easy. I went through it back in 2002. My ex blindsided me a few days after Christmas. I thought my world was coming to an end but it was only a stepping stone.

Like people have said, allow yourself to feel the motions. If you can, it may help to stay with family. I stayed with my mom for a couple of months before I found my own place. Just having someone there, helped me cope.

If you like to write, journal. This helped me deal with the roller coaster of emotions. It's a grieving process. Talk to people..this helped me so much!

I didn't take care of myself in the beginning and got deathly ill. Like djj said, take care of yourself, force yourself to do things. For me, going to work every day was an accomplishment for awhile. In times, things got easier. I went out more, made new friends, and got involved in things that I enjoyed. Take time for you.

You will make it through.

there's plenty more fish in the sea!

I am so sorry this has happened.

things will be better once you develop a plan on how to move on....

take your time to enjoy the little things as much as possible... thank goodness you will have a new life to start and new expectations, a fresh outlook on all new possibilities.

DoffieParker said:

there's plenty more fish in the sea!

who knew?...

just kiding...

DoffieParker said: