Ok, my position on this these days is that it's the same as if she were with a guy. I'd be hurt emotionally just the same if she cheated on me with anybody, male or female, and I don't think I'd consent to her sleeping with a woman if she asked me beforehand either. It's not like I want her to pretend about anything or not be herself, but I do expect her to be faithful and respect how I feel about her being with a woman and understand that to me, exactly as Carrie said, that cheating is cheating.

.

[Edited 4/22/11 5:36am]

Fauxie said:

Ok, my position on this these days is that it's the same as if she were with a guy. I'd be hurt emotionally just the same if she cheated on me with anybody, male or female, and I don't think I'd consent to her sleeping with a woman if she asked me beforehand either. It's not like I want her to pretend about anything or not be herself, but I do expect her to be faithful and respect how I feel about her being with a woman and understand that to me, exactly as Carrie said, that cheating is cheating.

I agree with that.

IMO, one of the reasons why it seems more "acceptable" for a man to consider his wife with another woman is that, deep inside, we kind'a fantasize about it anyway. So for her to do that would seem like a "first step" for the eventuality that we might wind up in bed with 2 women. So it adds to your fantasy.

Whereas, unless you fantasize about doing your wife with another man in the bed, having her cheat on you with another dude only adds to your insecurities.

One who can not be trusted................CANNOT be trusted.

[Edited 4/22/11 6:30am]

Because I know all too well the difficult factors that go into finding oneself in a relationship where a genuine overall affinity for one's partner is in some ways at odds with what sexual affinity one has, I actually may feel less bite if my wife cheated on me with a woman than with a man. Believe me, I get zero gratification from the chick-on-chick thing -- and I'm sure enough of my... um... "manliness" that I'm not more threatened by the notion of some other male outperforming me -- but I suppose some part of me might sympathize with the fact she may have needed something, some feminine rapport, that I very likely could never provide.

At the same time, neither I nor my wife are ones to give or claim space for sexual nonexclusivity. For any number of reasons, it's just not how we roll -- or at least that's been the understanding. If one of us violated that foundational rule, I can't say it'd definitely end our relationship (particularly because our relationship is now partly built on the interests of a third party, our kid), but we'd be fully aware it could be a deal breaker and absolutely would mark a sea change probably neither of us would welcome.

[Edited 4/22/11 7:43am]

Fauxie said:

Fuck you all.

Please

Lammastide said:

Because I know all too well the difficult factors that go into finding oneself in a relationship where a genuine overall affinity for one's partner is in some ways at odds with what sexual affinity one has, I actually may feel less bite if my wife cheated on me with a woman than with a man. Believe me, I get zero gratification from the chick-on-chick thing -- and I'm sure enough of my... um... "manliness" that I'm not more threatened by the notion of some other male outperforming me -- but I suppose some part of me might sympathize with the fact she may have needed something, some feminine rapport, that I very likely could never provide.

At the same time, neither I nor my wife are ones to give or claim space for sexual nonexclusivity. For any number of reasons, it's just not how we roll -- or at least that's been the understanding. If one of us violated that foundational rule, I can't say it'd definitely end our relationship (particularly because our relationship is now partly built on the interests of a third party, our kid), but we'd be fully aware it could be a deal breaker and absolutely would mark a sea change probably neither of us would welcome.

[Edited 4/22/11 7:43am]

I am in so much internet love with you.

Fauxie said:

Ok, my position on this these days is that it's the same as if she were with a guy. I'd be hurt emotionally just the same if she cheated on me with anybody, male or female, and I don't think I'd consent to her sleeping with a woman if she asked me beforehand either. It's not like I want her to pretend about anything or not be herself, but I do expect her to be faithful and respect how I feel about her being with a woman and understand that to me, exactly as Carrie said, that cheating is cheating.

Yes.

Cheating is cheating.

Relationships with a mutually agreed-upon set of "arrangements" or whatever, that's different. I don't see that as cheating, as it's done within the marriage and with intention and agreement.

I assume, because of the word "cheated," that your thread refers to going behind your husband/bf's back and fucking someone other than him without his knowledge or consent. That's cheating and it's hurtful. Men who say they'd be cool with it...I'm not so sure they wouldn't be very surprised at their actual feelings if their wife/gf really fucked someone behind his back - touching, being touched, moaning, sighing, showing someone her secret places and using all those intimate techniques on another person without your knowledge - I tend to think that, man or woman, it wouldn't feel so nice or seem so sexy.

WOW THAT WOULD B GREAT! but on a serious note eye could cope much better if my gf cheated on me with another woman?strange but true.plus a women would hit the floor quicker than some twat of a bloke!

shootindabreeze said:

Completely cool with it.....yes please.... And Charlotte...come on...you have been wanting that forever...sounds like you and your husband are on the same page....what could be sexier or more beautiful than two women...and I mean in your case....at least one rather impressively large chested woman and another....damn...awesome....where the fuck is Ocean on this topic....

Two men sucking each other's dicks while a wife watches.

cheating is cheating

On the other hand, if she was open about this situation, and the girl was hot and liked me too...

NDRU said:

Serious said:

NDRU said:

cheating is cheating

On the other hand, if she was open about this situation, and the girl was hot and liked me too...

Men

I'm not saying I want that!!!!

It just wouldn't be cheating

NDRU said:

vainandy said:

shootindabreeze said:

Completely cool with it.....yes please.... And Charlotte...come on...you have been wanting that forever...sounds like you and your husband are on the same page....what could be sexier or more beautiful than two women...and I mean in your case....at least one rather impressively large chested woman and another....damn...awesome....where the fuck is Ocean on this topic....

Two men sucking each other's dicks while a wife watches.

it is 100% not on as far as i'm concerned. i harbour no lesbian fantasies.

vainandy said:

shootindabreeze said:

Completely cool with it.....yes please.... And Charlotte...come on...you have been wanting that forever...sounds like you and your husband are on the same page....what could be sexier or more beautiful than two women...and I mean in your case....at least one rather impressively large chested woman and another....damn...awesome....where the fuck is Ocean on this topic....

Two men sucking each other's dicks while a wife watches.

oh my...

so, which is sexier-- simultaneous sucking, or taking turns?

I'm with everyone who says "Cheating is cheating".

If my boyfriend or I need to sleep with someone else (either sex), we need to just be honest and decide if our relationship is really working and whether or not it's worth fixing.

Fauxie said:

How would you feel? Same as if they cheated with a man?

Would you consider it more easily forgivable? Would it hurt you more/less/the same? Would you in fact enjoy the thought of it?

How about if you knew about it beforehand? If it weren't cheating behind your back but something she asked about up front. Would that make a difference to how you'd feel about it? Would you give your woman carte blanche to sleep with women if you knew she was into them?

Speak your brains!

Hell yeah it's still cheating, especially if I didn't know the woman was bisexual BEFORE we entered in a committed relationship.

TonyVanDam said:

Fauxie said:

How would you feel? Same as if they cheated with a man?

Would you consider it more easily forgivable? Would it hurt you more/less/the same? Would you in fact enjoy the thought of it?

How about if you knew about it beforehand? If it weren't cheating behind your back but something she asked about up front. Would that make a difference to how you'd feel about it? Would you give your woman carte blanche to sleep with women if you knew she was into them?

Speak your brains!

Hell yeah it's still cheating, especially if I didn't know the woman was bisexual BEFORE we entered in a committed relationship.

I agree.

In my case I knew my wife was bisexual. Not that this thread reflects anything current in our relationship, but we have talked about it before.

I'd ask her why I didn't get to watch and if they'd consider letting me join them next time.

Edit: Because join does NOT have an e on the end of it.

[Edited 4/22/11 21:15pm]

PositivityNYC said:

vainandy said:

Two men sucking each other's dicks while a wife watches.

oh my...

so, which is sexier-- simultaneous sucking, or taking turns?

Taking turns honey.

vainandy said:

PositivityNYC said:

oh my...

so, which is sexier-- simultaneous sucking, or taking turns?

Taking turns honey.

ahh, thanks ~ should I ever find myself in that situation, I can instruct them if they try to 69 or something..