?

Over and over again, I keep seeing the "I like straight acting men..." etc. etc.

Isn't that kind of self-hating?

Don't get me wrong--I've overflowing with testosterone to the point that I drag my knuckles and shit when I walk.

But, I don't get how this mantra helps the queer community.

I've always had a pet peeve with this.

I don't think everyone who uses the term means harm, but I think it's yet another label that doesn't do us any service.

How about just saying you prefer a more "masculine" man over straight. Masculinity has zero to do with being straight. There's some really girly str8 dudes out there.

johnart said:

I've always had a pet peeve with this.

I don't think everyone who uses the term means harm, but I think it's yet another label that doesn't do us any service.

How about just saying you prefer a more "masculine" man over straight. Masculinity has zero to do with being straight. There's some really girly str8 dudes out there.

Chile, they may tell you they're masculine or straight acting or Chuck Norris's twin, but take their asses home and you'll find a closet full of Kimonos.

SagsWay2low said:

johnart said:

I've always had a pet peeve with this.

I don't think everyone who uses the term means harm, but I think it's yet another label that doesn't do us any service.

How about just saying you prefer a more "masculine" man over straight. Masculinity has zero to do with being straight. There's some really girly str8 dudes out there.

Chile, they may tell you they're masculine or straight acting or Chuck Norris's twin, but take their asses home and you'll find a closet full of Kimonos.

You're telling us, Miss Saigon???

johnart said:

SagsWay2low said:

Chile, they may tell you they're masculine or straight acting or Chuck Norris's twin, but take their asses home and you'll find a closet full of Kimonos.

You're telling us, Miss Saigon???

Look, I wear baseball caps and don't like shopping.

I'm Clint Eastwood, ok?

SagsWay2low said:

johnart said:

You're telling us, Miss Saigon???

Look, I wear baseball caps and don't like shopping.

I'm Clint Eastwood, ok?

OK, M.Butterfly.

johnart said:

SagsWay2low said:

Look, I wear baseball caps and don't like shopping.

I'm Clint Eastwood, ok?

OK, M.Butterfly.

SagsWay2low said:

johnart said:

OK, M.Butterfly.

I love you, Lucky Star.

johnart said:

SagsWay2low said:

I love you, Lucky Star.

I never really got it either. Whenever I hear that comment all I really hear is "acting," and my ability to trust that particular person fades.

SagsWay2low said:

johnart said:

I love you, Lucky Star.

All I got from "the vault" was a mouthful of raisinettes.

[Edited 4/21/11 11:21am]

OMG

TheResistor said:

I never really got it either. Whenever I hear that comment all I really hear is "acting," and my ability to trust that particular person fades.

yes and combining "straight" (which can imply direct or honest, in addition to sexual preference) with "acting" seems somewhat contradictory

I would agree "masculine" would be a better description than "straight"

This guy acts straight but not always masculine, exactly

[Edited 4/21/11 12:04pm]

SagsWay2low said:

?

Over and over again, I keep seeing the "I like straight acting men..." etc. etc.

Isn't that kind of self-hating?

Don't get me wrong--I've overflowing with testosterone to the point that I drag my knuckles and shit when I walk.

But, I don't get how this mantra helps the queer community.

How does it hurt the community? Some gay guys are actually manly...in fact...I'd bet a good lot of them are manly. What is gay acting as opposed to straight acting? Isn't gay acting, for a man, merely acting like a chick which he isn't or for a woman, acting like a man which she isn't? Also, if everybody is "acting" be it acting straight or acting gay then isn't the community pretty much fucked cuz everyone is putting up a facade?

http://news.yahoo.com/s/nm/20110421/lf_nm_life/us_malaysia_bootcamp

Malaysian boot camp for "effeminate" schoolboys draws outrage

KUALA LUMPUR (Reuters) – A Malaysian state's move to send 57 schoolboys with "effeminate tendencies" to a boot camp aimed at counseling them on masculine behavior has angered rights groups in the Southeast Asian country.

The four-day camp, which ended on Thursday, included religious lectures, visiting local mosques and aerobics workouts.

"They have crossed the line...we are disgusted and offended that a child's feminine traits or behavior is seen as being something that is evil and that should be purged," said Ivy Josiah, a child's rights campaigner and executive director of the Malaysian rights group, Women's Aid Organization.

The schoolboys, aged 13 to 17 and living in the northeastern Malaysian state of Terengganu, were selected for the boot camp for displaying "some feminine characteristics," state education department director Razali Daud was quoted as saying in the New Straits Times newspaper on Tuesday.

The camp's establishment was prompted by what Razali said was a rising number of effeminate schoolboys in the state.

Homosexuality is a taboo subject that is rarely discussed in this mainly Muslim country and sex between males is an offence punishable under criminal law.

Razali subsequently told the newspaper on Thursday that the camp was a character-building program and was not aimed at changing the students' sexual preference. He declined to comment when contacted by Reuters.

Senior state and federal education officials also refused to comment after the issue prompted widespread criticism.

"Corrective boot camps to 'fix' children and individuals must not be condoned because it violates the rights of people who are perceived as 'different'," a coalition of gender equality groups said a statement.

The country's Women, Family and Community Development Minister Shahrizat Abdul Jalil has called for such camps, of which this was the first known example in Malaysia, to be abolished.

(Editing by Liau Y-Sing and Elaine Lies)

HotGritz said:

SagsWay2low said:

?

Over and over again, I keep seeing the "I like straight acting men..." etc. etc.

Isn't that kind of self-hating?

Don't get me wrong--I've overflowing with testosterone to the point that I drag my knuckles and shit when I walk.

But, I don't get how this mantra helps the queer community.

How does it hurt the community? Some gay guys are actually manly...in fact...I'd bet a good lot of them are manly. What is gay acting as opposed to straight acting? Isn't gay acting, for a man, merely acting like a chick which he isn't or for a woman, acting like a man which she isn't? Also, if everybody is "acting" be it acting straight or acting gay then isn't the community pretty much fucked cuz everyone is putting up a facade?

That is the problem.

The entire concept of attributing "-acting" to something is insulting. Not every gay man is feminine. In fact, I would say most aren't. However, most heteros know the flaming gays because they are the squeakiest wheel.

Spinlight said:

HotGritz said:

How does it hurt the community? Some gay guys are actually manly...in fact...I'd bet a good lot of them are manly. What is gay acting as opposed to straight acting? Isn't gay acting, for a man, merely acting like a chick which he isn't or for a woman, acting like a man which she isn't? Also, if everybody is "acting" be it acting straight or acting gay then isn't the community pretty much fucked cuz everyone is putting up a facade?

That is the problem.

The entire concept of attributing "-acting" to something is insulting. Not every gay man is feminine. In fact, I would say most aren't. However, most heteros know the flaming gays because they are the squeakiest wheel.

I don't think it matters what percentage of us are effeminate, masculine or in between.

Using the term "straight" acting over simply saying what I think most folk really mean (I like a masculine man, or he is a masculine man or I am a masculine man) implies that straight is more desirable than gay. As if in "I don't want a man who folk will be able to clock as being gay."

[Edited 4/21/11 11:39am]

johnart said:

Spinlight said:

That is the problem.

The entire concept of attributing "-acting" to something is insulting. Not every gay man is feminine. In fact, I would say most aren't. However, most heteros know the flaming gays because they are the squeakiest wheel.

I don't think it matters what percentage of us are effeminate, masculine or in between.

Using the term "straight" acting over simply saying what I think most folk really mean (I like a masculine man, or he is a masculine man or I am a masculine man) implies that straight is more desirable than gay. As if in "I don't want a man who folk will be able to clock as being gay."

[Edited 4/21/11 11:39am]

Yeah, we're saying the same thing.

Most straight people identify gay "things" as being femme and dainty and girly and, thus, negative connotation is attached. "I don't want a man who folk will be able to clock as being gay and, thus, turn their negative attention to me."

But the fact it blankets over the people who are not a certain way is important, I think. Regardless of femme guys being appealing or not, it should not be the first thing people jump to that gays are femme. It would be akin to saying all Indian people eat curry or all Chinese people are smart. It's not true and it reflects poorly upon the people who don't follow those stereotypes.

Edit: Basically, I just don't like putting people in boxes. I'm one of those petulant kind of gays who will go film himself having sex with a girl just to spite people.

[Edited 4/21/11 11:46am]

Spinlight said:

johnart said:

I don't think it matters what percentage of us are effeminate, masculine or in between.

Using the term "straight" acting over simply saying what I think most folk really mean (I like a masculine man, or he is a masculine man or I am a masculine man) implies that straight is more desirable than gay. As if in "I don't want a man who folk will be able to clock as being gay."

[Edited 4/21/11 11:39am]

Yeah, we're saying the same thing.

Most straight people identify gay "things" as being femme and dainty and girly and, thus, negative connotation is attached. "I don't want a man who folk will be able to clock as being gay and, thus, turn their negative attention to me."

But the fact it blankets over the people who are not a certain way is important, I think. Regardless of femme guys being appealing or not, it should not be the first thing people jump to that gays are femme. It would be akin to saying all Indian people eat curry or all Chinese people are smart. It's not true and it reflects poorly upon the people who don't follow those stereotypes.

Edit: Basically, I just don't like putting people in boxes. I'm one of those petulant kind of gays who will go film himself having sex with a girl just to spite people.

[Edited 4/21/11 11:46am]

Oh for sure.

Though all Asians are bad drivers. This is a scientific fact.

Edit:

If I put you in a box, will I get a dvd copy?

[Edited 4/21/11 11:49am]

I don't think "acting" here should imply phoniness, though. Here, I think "acting" is used in the same sense as with "act your age"--it's not that you're putting on some pretense.

johnart said:

Spinlight said:

Yeah, we're saying the same thing.

Most straight people identify gay "things" as being femme and dainty and girly and, thus, negative connotation is attached. "I don't want a man who folk will be able to clock as being gay and, thus, turn their negative attention to me."

But the fact it blankets over the people who are not a certain way is important, I think. Regardless of femme guys being appealing or not, it should not be the first thing people jump to that gays are femme. It would be akin to saying all Indian people eat curry or all Chinese people are smart. It's not true and it reflects poorly upon the people who don't follow those stereotypes.

Edit: Basically, I just don't like putting people in boxes. I'm one of those petulant kind of gays who will go film himself having sex with a girl just to spite people.

[Edited 4/21/11 11:46am]

Oh for sure.

Though all Asians are bad drivers. This is a scientific fact.

Edit:

If I put you in a box, will I get a dvd copy?

[Edited 4/21/11 11:49am]

Box me, baby.

Efan said:

I don't think "acting" here should imply phoniness, though. Here, I think "acting" is used in the same sense as with "act your age"--it's not that you're putting on some pretense.

Of course it is putting up a pretense. I've always thought that. In fact, I think some femme guys actually look poorly towards masculine/"straight acting" guys because they feel it is them pandering to heterosexual mores.

Efan said:

I don't think "acting" here should imply phoniness, though. Here, I think "acting" is used in the same sense as with "act your age"--it's not that you're putting on some pretense.

And behavioral charactertics/mannerisms etc are how one acts. Acting isn't necessarily pretending.

johnart said:

Oh for sure.

Though all Asians are bad drivers. This is a scientific fact.

Couldn't resist.

Efan said:

I don't think "acting" here should imply phoniness, though. Here, I think "acting" is used in the same sense as with "act your age"--it's not that you're putting on some pretense.

I tend to have more issue with the word "straight" in describing what's appealing or what we're seeking in someone or striving to be.

This is why I think a lot (maybe most) folk really mean nothing by it, but I don't think it sends off a great message about us.

For example, I might say "You wouldn't know Ron was gay if you just ran into him and didn't know him." (often the case with students at work). But that's not the same as "Ron is straight-acting." IMO.

When folk are seeking mates/playmates and say they want a "straight-acting" dude, in that context it does irk me. Just say you're not into femme guys and call it a day. I don't get why "straight" has to be brought into it.

Spinlight said:

Efan said:

I don't think "acting" here should imply phoniness, though. Here, I think "acting" is used in the same sense as with "act your age"--it's not that you're putting on some pretense.

Of course it is putting up a pretense. I've always thought that. In fact, I think some femme guys actually look poorly towards masculine/"straight acting" guys because they feel it is them pandering to heterosexual mores.

How is it pretense?

johnart said:

I've always had a pet peeve with this.

I don't think everyone who uses the term means harm, but I think it's yet another label that doesn't do us any service.

How about just saying you prefer a more "masculine" man over straight. Masculinity has zero to do with being straight. There's some really girly str8 dudes out there.

You beat me to it. I was about to say the same exact thing.

johnart said:

Efan said:

I don't think "acting" here should imply phoniness, though. Here, I think "acting" is used in the same sense as with "act your age"--it's not that you're putting on some pretense.

I tend to have more issue with the word "straight" in describing what's appealing or what we're seeking in someone or striving to be.

This is why I think a lot (maybe most) folk really mean nothing by it, but I don't think it sends off a great message about us.

For example, I might say "You wouldn't know Ron was gay if you just ran into him and didn't know him." (often the case with students at work). But that's not the same as "Ron is straight-acting." IMO.

When folk are seeking mates/playmates and say they want a "straight-acting" dude, in that context it does irk me. Just say you're not into femme guys and call it a day. I don't get why "straight" has to be brought into it.

I hear what you're saying, but in that sense, why is it okay to call a guy "femme"? If we're bothered by using the term "straight," shouldn't we be equally bothered when a gay guy calls another gay guy "girl"? We're not girls. We're guys.

Efan said:

johnart said:

Oh for sure.

Though all Asians are bad drivers. This is a scientific fact.

Couldn't resist.

We always shout this when we merge lanes.

johnart said:

Efan said:

Couldn't resist.

We always shout this when we merge lanes.

Sometimes I just say it randomly throughout the day.