For me having kids

what's yours?????

oops typo edit

[Edited 4/19/11 4:14am]

While I think the birth of a child is immense ... and intense .... as a guy ... with 3 kids .....

i would have to say "witnessing death" would be my answer .

While the births were deep , intense ... life changing and all that ... I think it was when i witnessed death - to see someone take their last breath and then of course be hit with the realization of our own journeys ... etc ... it was more life changing ....

Getting clean.

Births~ Near death experiences ~ Cancer ~ Alzheimers ~ Deaths ~Suicides ~ Murders ...

life changes in an instant and never returns exactly the same with each

and 100 other things that life gifts us all ...

ColAngus said:

While I think the birth of a child is immense ... and intense .... as a guy ... with 3 kids .....

i would have to say "witnessing death" would be my answer .

While the births were deep , intense ... life changing and all that ... I think it was when i witnessed death - to see someone take their last breath and then of course be hit with the realization of our own journeys ... etc ... it was more life changing ....

I've never witnessed a death, but I can imagine the gravity it must have for some. If you don't mind, would you tell a little more about this.

Let's see...

* Falling in love

* First real heartbreak

* Getting married

* Having a kid (probably the most life-changing)

Quitting smoking.

Seriously. It's something I never thought I'd be able to do and once I did it, it made me realize there were other things I could do that I never thought I'd be able to.

Lammastide said:

ColAngus said:

While I think the birth of a child is immense ... and intense .... as a guy ... with 3 kids .....

i would have to say "witnessing death" would be my answer .

While the births were deep , intense ... life changing and all that ... I think it was when i witnessed death - to see someone take their last breath and then of course be hit with the realization of our own journeys ... etc ... it was more life changing ....

I've never witnessed a death, but I can imagine the gravity it must have for some. If you don't mind, would you tell a little more about this.

Sorry for intruding on your request of ColAngus, but gravity is a good word that you chose.

I witnessed both my mum and dad in death, they both died peacefully, and in my dads case, he was sedated quite heavily, so it was like watching a sleeping person stop breathing, no drama, no fuss.

My mum was a little more awake, and actually managed to sit up and open her eyes upon the moment of death, giving everyone in the room quite a shock.

Those two experiences were strange, sad, but in both cases a huge relief.

However, a few years ago, I also witnessed the death of a female friend who had taken an overdose of heroin, her death still haunts me to this day, it was messy, she looked very uncomfortable, and was making unpleasant noises, and it seemed to take a long time. I think her death probably affected me more than my parents' death.

I have witnessed another death too, but i'm not ready or willing to talk about that one.

Death, or witnessing a death is a very unique experience.

Meeting my Sweetie.

My brother's death.

Group Therapy.

And having the insight that we all share the same conciousness.

I didnt mean to sound cryptic - but it was my dad's death .

When he took his last breath .... in alot of ways .... it was a rather big relief (due to cancer and not wanting anyone to suffer anymore etc) - but then it was very intense ... realizing that I am not the oldest male in the family and knda have to "step up" etc .... and also realizing that someday ... we are all on that journey ....

TheDigitalGardener said:

Getting clean.

I don't know that I've had anything significantly life changing.

No kids

No close family/friends have died

Probably the things that have had the biggest impact on my life seem so small, like witnessing a selfless act of kindness and recognizing that is the kind of person I want to be, or experiencing different cultures. (I guess my life has been boring.)

My own birth

Positive experience:

Bonding with my mother after 15 years of no contact.

Negative experience:

Dismissed job.

thematic experiences:

repetetive, futureless attempts at a peaceful and constructive relationship.

My first breakup/heartbreak

Having a total hysterectomy at 31 and what that meant in terms of not being able to have kids, as well as the impact on me physically and emotionally and how I viewed myself as a female

Getting in shape this last year! (how time flies! ) I would have never imagined I'd be able to jog 3 miles in 30 minutes! I am in better shape than when I was in high school!

veronikka said:

Serious said:

veronikka said:

Getting in shape this last year! (how time flies! ) I would have never imagined I'd be able to jog 3 miles in 30 minutes! I am in better shape than when I was in high school!

Wow, that's awesome !

Thank you! It feels so good!

veronikka said:

dJJ said:

My own birth

Positive experience:

Bonding with my mother after 15 years of no contact.

Negative experience:

Dismissed job.

thematic experiences:

repetetive, futureless attempts at a peaceful and constructive relationship.

I'm so glad to hear that you are bonding with your mother after so many years. My dad and I were estranged for several years. We started to repair our relationship but a few weeks later he suddenly died of a heart attack. I'm grateful for the little time we did have together.

Recently, it has to be my mom's second diagnosis of cancer. There was a point I thought she was going to give up and refuse treatment. I've never heard my mom so down in my life. I nagged her a bit and she decided to see a reputable surgeon who has given her some hope. This has been a giant reality check because my mom and I are extremely close. It just makes me grateful that I am able to be there for her and share this time with her.

Imma wax philosophical here, and say that my life is constantly changing. The trick is how proactive I am in the changes that take place.

I saw this little Thai boy sitting down beside me once--it was Faxie's nephew actually. And I marveled at how happy and content he was to just be there with us...in the moment. For him, there was no future other than the next meal. And a past really isn't something a 5 year old has too much to think about.

But at any rate, it solidified my belief that the ego does exist. That there is no 'seperate self'. No special part of us that stays the same. I thought about the fact that at one time, I was 5 years old. At one time, I had similar traits to him. But that person that I was so many years ago doesn't exist now. And although he shares certain memories and paved the way to who I am now, that person doesn't exist. Hell, even the person I was 5 months ago looking at that kid doesn't exist. I'm a different person today.

But to answer the question here's my list:

1) Getting kicked out of my house at 18

2) Joining the US Air Force and moving to GErmany than Florida

3) Going to Haiti

4) Visiting Wales

5) Getting laid off

6) Getting my masters degree

7) an STD scare

8) Living in Thailand

There are many more, but these are the major ones.

Now the one that changed not just my life but a lot of lives was when I got kicked out of my house.

My dad kicked me out of my house when I was a freshmen in college.

I quickly joined the military because of that (I had been considering it for a long time because I wanted out of Alabama and I wanted an education and was running out of funds to get one)

The military lead me to Germany. Germany to Florida.

FLorida to my dinking buddy and good friend. My good friend married my sister.

My sister gave birth to my wonderful nephews.

So that cold, depressing, terrible November day 2 weeks before my 19th birthday, when my dad kicked me out of my house and I didn't no where to turn..... that day gave birth to my sister's wonderful life in Germany now with her two beautiful children.

Life is strange. I love it.

SagsWay2low said:

.......

So that cold, depressing, terrible November day 2 weeks before my 19th birthday, when my dad kicked me out of my house and I didn't no where to turn..... that day gave birth to my sister's wonderful life in Germany now with her two beautiful children.

Life is strange. I love it.

Sweet.

ZombieKitten said:

Same. Took away my identity, chewed it up and spat it out somewhere, it's taken me about ten years to find it, untangle it and start to use it again!

Isn't that funny how something the same has a different impact on others?

My kid actually gave me an identity. Before him I was a little bit lost, very insecure and I don't know, without any goals actually. He made me a better person, secure, strong, loved and structured with rules and all and I love it. I'm so much better in my skin and yes, it's thanks to him. In a strange kind of way he's some sort of teacher to me. I'm very grateful for this experience.

Genesia said:

Meeting my Sweetie.

I have to go with this also (well, not meeting your Sweetie but mine. ). I'm not sure how together I would be (not to say I'm all that together ) without him in my life.

Caring for my mother through her illness was definitely life-changing as well.

probably finding my Dad's porn mags under his bed when I was 10!!!

Having kids is the biggest I suppose.

But there have been lots of things i've experienced that have probably lead me to change direction in my life. I often think about how my life would be if it weren't for various events. My overall thoughts are that i'm lucky that things happened the way they did - even the sad events in my life.

physco185 said:

For me having kids

what's yours?????

oops typo edit

[Edited 4/19/11 4:14am]

First, it's spiritual, and my daughter.

I can't decide between these two;

#1 - experiencing the birth of my first-born son. I will never forget that day. That little creature that my wife & I created was the most amazing thing witnessing his birth. The other 2 kids also, but the first one was the most impacting. I am of course a different person now than I was almost 13 years ago, and alot of that has to do with not just being older but also being a father...having those critters that love you and depend on you and you help to shape & mold. You become a different person.

#2 - realizing my marriage was over. The day that I fully acknowledged that my wife had moved on and was in love with someone else. It was like someone gutting me with a dull machete and filling the void with acid-laced ice shards. But besides the hurt and the anger and the misery and the regret...it's a change in living arrangements, in finances, in your daily routine, even in friendships & family ties. It forces you to become a different person.

When it comes to life-changing experiences on a positive note, then I say #1. When it comes to life-changing experiences on a tumultous & painful level...then definitely #2.