This seems to be an area that women are either in great denial about or they honestly are not aware of what’s going on. I work in a field where sometimes I have to deal with prostitutes. Most of them are young girls and are based in urban areas. About 60% of them are white, 40% are black. I have spoken in length with a number of these girls over the years and I was surprised to find out about their clientele. The overwhelming majority of their customers are MARRIED men or men who are in committed relationships (well, according to their girlfriends). And interestingly enough, most of their customers are black men! According to the gals I’ve talked to, condoms are used about 50% of the time.

What shocks me even more is the number of straight men I’ve talked to who find the thought of being with a prostitute very exciting. They have either done it or fantasized about it. I find this disturbing because many of these girls are drug addicts and have STD’s, however, many men are still so willing to take a chance on having sex with them (protected AND unprotected) and then going back home to their wives/girlfriends and having sexual relations with them.

Unfortunately, these services are so easily accessible for men. The days of picking one up off the street corner are gone. Local newspapers and community papers are chalked full of advertisements for prostitution services, not to mention the endless sites on the internet.

My question for the straight men on the org (I know you’re out there!), is do you find the idea of being with a prostitute exciting? Don’t bullshit and say what you think is the right thing to say. Be honest. Come clean. How do you really feel about it?

But, going back the racial aspect of this, black women have spent years blaming black men for the HIV epidemic in the black community, claiming that so many of them are having unprotected sex with other men while ignoring the fact that a lot of black men are using the services of these female prostitutes. Wake up, ladies! This prostitution thing is very real and happening a lot more often than you are willing to admit. Chances are your man is not on the DL with some other dude. It’s much more likely he’s on the DL with some other chick, who may be a professional prostitute.

*crickets chirping* Where da org menz at?

The working girls are oftentimes subject to human trafficing.

Females prostitutes and porn actresses oftentimes are victims of incest, abuse, neglect and experienced multiple trauma's in their youth.

They even think themselves they like their work. However, it's work that makes them prone to more trauma and psychological and physical damage.

The girls will be scolded at by society, while it's the men that

-inflicted trauma's in their youth

-dominate the porn and prostitute business and get rich

-buy porn and visit prostitutes by masses

-deny that the girls are getting abused by them, they tell themselves it's okay to visit a prostitute, she choose the path herself

It's extremely sad business. I can't watch any porn myself and feel sheer hatred for the tourists coming to see the red light district as if prostitution is fun and entertaining.

Men will never come forward about their prostiture visits. And will never take responsibility for their responsibilty in moderating female abuse through buying all that porn.

It's sad they don't own up their treatment of women.

part of the psychology of anonymous sex has to do with self image. despite a man paying a prostitute, sleeping with a stranger makes some men feel better inside, despite the shame that they feel after it's over. It's a moment of gratification versus a lifetime of self loathing.

^ Yeah, I read a little of Alon Gratch. Might need to read more though.

Being afraid to loose themselves in the woman. Afraid to loose control. Afraid to feel the vulnerability that comes with true love.

They should visit a therapist and/or group in stead of prostitutees. Men starting to self reflect and knowing themselves and their needs. That would solve a lot of violence and wars in the world.

And some true cases of vagina dentata.

I find paying someone to strip or lay me the furthest thing from exciting.

But the truth of the matter is that prostitutes serve as live action porn stars.

Every man's fantasy--a woman who does everything you suggest and enjoys it.

StonedImmaculate said:

I find paying someone to strip or lay me the furthest thing from exciting.

But the truth of the matter is that prostitutes serve as live action porn stars.

Every man's fantasy--a woman who does everything you suggest and enjoys it.

Every man can attain that.

Just make very good suggestions

I feel bad for girls/women who [think they] have only this as an employment option, but.... gross

"chock full" not chalked

it seems really gross to me. But I won't lie, I am sure there are some high class prostitutes that might not seem so gross.

But the ones I see on the street? God no, I don't know how ANYONE does that.

After my great STD scare of 2009 from some rather promiscuous chic I was 'friends with benefits' with, I wouldn't dream of treating sex that casually again.

You REALLY wake up when your life comes close to changing forever.

I'm one of the optimists who believes that within our lifetimes we're likely to see a cure to many of the 'incurable' STDs--but a cure doesn't mean it's gone. Remember, syphilis is completely curable , and it has been around for ages and shows no sign of abating. I do hope that one day we can at least say the same thing about Herpes and HIV.

One day, I'm hoping STDS will be a thing of the past or at least all be curable, and people can go on having wonderful anonymous sex. Let's face it--it's fun for some of us. For me, the risks just outweigh the limited and temporary thrill.

My views on prostitution are not black and white though.

NDRU said:

But I won't lie, I am sure there are some high class prostitutes that might not seem so gross.

Like Ashley DuPree, the prostitute who was with Eliot Spitzer. I'd use her services. Sex with no strings attached.

Men just like to have sex and that is the problem. Weather they are gay or straight men just love to have sex with other people because ...we as human beings are not made to be monogamous....when one gets into a relationship their desires for somone else goes even higher because they feel they are trapped...it is actually "exciting" to a man to feel he is being sneaky and having some wild unprotected sex with someone else that no one knows about. It's all mental; and I think men do it really because..they can. They feel trapped by what they are supposed to be and use this tactic to escape it..unfortunaley hurting others in the end.

Me, as a straight man, really don't find getting with a prostitute too terribly exciting. I think it has to do with the fact that I'm having to PAY for some ass. Um, no thank you.

Plus, it doesn't help that when I think of a prostitute, the mental image that's in my head is of some run down, stinkin', crazy lookin' heffa who probably couldn't even make me get it up anyway cuz she ain't that hot! Lol! Now, fuckin' a total stranger, that could work!

alexnvrmnd777 said:

Me, as a straight man, really don't find getting with a prostitute too terribly exciting. I think it has to do with the fact that I'm having to PAY for some ass. Um, no thank you.

Plus, it doesn't help that when I think of a prostitute, the mental image that's in my head is of some run down, stinkin', crazy lookin' heffa who probably couldn't even make me get it up anyway cuz she ain't that hot! Lol! Now, fuckin' a total stranger, that could work!

What about one of those hot, high-class call girls?

You want honest, I'll give you honest. I've been with six prostitutes and five workers in a strip club. None of these encounters were that exciting or good because I knew I didn't care about them and they didn't care about me. Once I got over being nervous, I couldn't keep my erection for long because there was no love or affection, I didn't want to spend anymore time doing it than needed. I would not seek such services again because I don't want to spend the money nor take the risk of STDs or getting caught and embarrassed. These incidents were over fifteen years ago and I don't frequent strip clubs or any thing like that. Thankfully I don't have an STD and if and when I get a girlfriend and such a question comes up, I'll tell her the truth.

check out ninja

I'm not a dude, but I bet a lot of the reason they probably go see prostitutes, is that they like the idea of something and someone new and different. But, they don't want to bother trying to get to know someone or go out to a club and pick someone up for a one-night stand, so instead they call a call girl service or start cruising the corners.

Having said that, I don't know that I really 'buy' that statistic in the first post. Exactly why I don't, I just don't know, but I read it like, "...Yeah right. " lol. It just felt like BS to me.

As far as a lot of prostitutes go, I imagine they just do it because they feel their backs are up against the wall and they don't have any other options as far as a means for providing for themselves, so they do what they feel they have to do to survive. I kinda feel for them, I can't imagine what it's like to take money and then let strange guys do shit to you for it. Myself, I couldn't do it, and if it came down to that, I'd actually gladly be homeless rather than turn tricks.

[Edited 4/16/11 14:45pm]

I would expect very few men to come here and be honest about hooking up with prostitutes. Many orgers here can be identified in real time because they share so much of their real lives and themselves- via photos and such here.

I never thought that black men got STD's from other black men.... I always knew it would be from prostitutes. The AIDS rate in the USA has sky rocketed in black & hispanic women in general married or not.

If a man wants to cheat... if he doesn't care of shaming himself or bringing shame to his family then what is a wife to do?

paintedlady said:

If a man wants to cheat... if he doesn't care of shaming himself or bringing shame to his family then what is a wife to do?

Stop fooling herself. File for divorce and make herself happy, in stead of believing his lies and thinking he would ever change.

If he lacks consciouce he will not suddenly get one after he got busted. He just doesn't have one. It will not grow on him.

Never done it and never will. It's not an exciting prospect to me, even if I were single, or married and looking to stray. Also, I took chances in the past and went through the worry of a HIV test and it's all too scary, so for both those reasons I'd never even consider it.

Big, heavy topic... [thanks to kitbradley for raising awareness], which I won't be able to tackle in one post probably. Plus, like SagsWaytoolow said, it's not black and white. So just a few thoughts at the top of my head:

. With regards to the prostitutes: generally I feel empathy. They need care and support more than anything else, I believe. These are usually people who have been badly hurt and abused as children/in their youth, and I doubt anyone of them made the conscious, willing choice of saying "hey, when I grow up, I want to become a prostitute!"

. With regards to denial: fascinating to watch how the news media, in the US and elsewhere, is nearly completely avoiding the subject. Safe for some independent documentaries, there is next to nothing in the current mainstream US media about this - at least not that I've come across [perhaps if I searched, I would find, but that's what you are not supposed to do when we speak of the daily news that hit most people].

I've heard the situation with girls prostitutes is especially acute in Oakland [for some unexplainable reason?..]. I saw this in an online documentary [the kind I mention here above].

This is not the type of stories the Obama administration/and current politicians/lawmakers want us to hear... especially in a pre-election period.

. With regards to the idea of paying for sex: I obviously do not have any easy, black-and-white, fix-all solution to the problem of prostitution - save for helping the prostitutes themselves, which I believe appropriate and enforced legislation is the best positioned to do [and thus, I would not ban it - but rather legislate it, better than it is now for the countries/states which do have it legalized].

But generally speaking, if I may be forgiven the comparison: I don't believe that 'correct', religion/tradition/society-sanctioned unions [such as marriage and other accepted forms of partnerships] are totally devoid of economics and financial considerations. In fact, such matters were the starting point and the glue thereafter of most unions in many countries in past centuries, if we look at the history of marriage throughout the ages.

So here goes, my admittedly very unromantic take on love/relationships&marriage...

StonedImmaculate said:

Every man's fantasy--a woman who does everything you suggest and enjoys it.

Really? See, I think that would get boring pretty fast.

I understand the intentions of the OP, or at least I think I do. I don't believe they were meant to be so general, but I still have to add, they were. I know a lot of it is based on your experiences, but a lot of what you said still needs a "some" applied to it. I also think you might be very surprised by how many men have been on the DL with another man, particularly in regards to prostitution.

Now, as far as your question goes. Personally, I could never pay for sex. The thought of it grosses me out, which doesn't happen very often. (And yeah, somebody will say we all pay for sex and I'll say bullshit so lets just skip that pointless conversation.) For me there has to be some kind of mutual attraction, even if its just casual sex. My brain is aware that that is not the case with prostituion and that takes absolutely ALL of the excitement and sexual stimulation right out of it.

I've NEVER paid for sex

Cerebus said:

Personally, I could never pay for sex. The thought of it grosses me out, which doesn't happen very often. (And yeah, somebody will say we all pay for sex and I'll say bullshit so lets just skip that pointless conversation.)

Well, when you're using your 'charms' to woo a female, you do want her good stuff eventually, right?

[Edited 4/17/11 5:59am]

eye would never pay 4 sex & would never go 2 a prostitute but eye fully understand why people do.im a man who doesnt suffer from loneliness or need female company & never wanted sex that badly that eye have 2 seach out a woman of the nite or day.from a young age porn has always satisfied me & always been enuf 4me.eye guess in my mind the use of a prostitute is a no go & a line that ive been programed never 2 cross!!but if u have 2 use a prostitute plz stay safe & rubber up.

StonedImmaculate said:

I find paying someone to strip or lay me the furthest thing from exciting.

But the truth of the matter is that prostitutes serve as live action porn stars.

Every man's fantasy--a woman who does everything you suggest and enjoys it.

I doubt very much there are any prostitutes out there that enjoy it!

Hey, if they want to pay these hookers when there are so many gay men out there that will do it for free, then they deserve whatever they get.

.

.

.

[Edited 4/17/11 9:39am]

BklynBabe said:

I'm also wondering why there are no Latina, Asian, or Native American prostitutes?

you're kidding, right?