SherryJackson said:

I'm talking about women who are single, not those who already found somebody.

This is an honest question. I'd like to hear the answers, if there are any.

This will be good...assuming the str8 and single fellas fully and honestly participate.

I will reserve my analysis for later.

SherryJackson said:

Eh.

I'm afraid, my friends, I've made some bad generalizations. Moment of frustration I guess.

Mods, y'all can this now...

Erin, my final say to you would be I wrote this because these are observations Kida and I noticed with men men in our lives (w/ some exceptions). I don't mean to insult or piss off women in meaningful relationships.

Hey, I'm not married and I'm probably not even considered a good woman by most...I was just giving you a chance to explain before the shit storm hit.

[Edited 4/13/11 17:21pm]

i think you have to expand your test group. you're making a judgement based on how many people?

BlackAdder7 said:

i think you have to expand your test group. you're making a judgement based on how many people?

Most men I have come across in my mature years...

Maybe I need to move

SherryJackson said:

BlackAdder7 said:

i think you have to expand your test group. you're making a judgement based on how many people?

Most men I have come across in my mature years...

Maybe I need to move

If men are "in their mature years" it could be that they still haven't grown up, and want to keep their "youth" by dating for shallow reasons, rather than long term commitments.

I used to wonder the same thing about women....why do so many women fall for d*uchebags, when there are so many nice guys around...

SagsWay2low said:

What each sex really means.

WOMEN

I came with friends, so I have to leave with them. Sorry	-	I came with friends, so I have to leave with them. Sorry.
I can't make it. I have another arrangement.	-	I can't make it. I have another arrangement.
It's not you. It's me.	-	It's not you. It's me.
I think we should just be friends.	-	I think we should just be friends.
Let's take it slow.	-	Let's take it slow.
I love you.	-	I love you.
MEN
I cam with friends, so I have to leave with them. Sorry.	-	You're ugly
I can't make it. I have another arrangement.	-	You're ugly
It's not you. It's me.	-	It's you. You're ugly.
I think we should just be friends.	-	You're ugly.
Let's take it slow.	-	You're ugly.
I love you.	-	I don't, but if it will make you shut up…

In all honesty, I think there are just as many men out there searching for true love as women.

Barely educated consumers with too much free time that we've become has lead us

to discussing such matters online rather than face-to-face with actual people.

But, I do think that women pre-judge each other far too harshly, so you're bound to hear

girls chatter about how so-and-so dude is married to the most haneous bitch on earth...

when in fact they don't know anything about the woman other than she's thrown them

shade once or twice.

Some of the most 'not-good' women out there are actually kind of sweet.

.

[Edited 4/12/11 23:40pm]

Actually, this is what is really going on between the sexes.

WOMEN

I came with friends, so I have to leave with them. Sorry	-	You really turn me off. You're a loser.
I can't make it. I have another arrangement.	-	I do not want to waste my time being seen with you.
It's not you. It's me.	-	It's definitely you.
I think we should just be friends.	-	You will never get a chance to sleep with me ever again.
Let's take it slow.	-	You're coming on way too strong for me, dude. Give me some space.
I love you.	-	I love you.
MEN
I came with friends, so I have to leave with them. Sorry.	-	You're ugly
I can't make it. I have another arrangement.	-	You're ugly
It's not you. It's me.	-	It's you. You don't turn me on at all/anymore.
I think we should just be friends.	-	You're ugly/stupid/crazy, etc..
Let's take it slow.	-	See above.
I love you.	-	I don't, but if it will make you shut up…

And for Ms. Jackson, remember, most men are not mind readers. While women are naturally well versed in non-verbal communication and can understand each other's thoughts really well, men are not like that. Men are very direct, and unless you have established some type of rapport with them, you have to come out directly and tell the guys what you feel.

728huey said:

SagsWay2low said:

What each sex really means.

WOMEN

I came with friends, so I have to leave with them. Sorry	-	I came with friends, so I have to leave with them. Sorry.
I can't make it. I have another arrangement.	-	I can't make it. I have another arrangement.
It's not you. It's me.	-	It's not you. It's me.
I think we should just be friends.	-	I think we should just be friends.
Let's take it slow.	-	Let's take it slow.
I love you.	-	I love you.
MEN
I cam with friends, so I have to leave with them. Sorry.	-	You're ugly
I can't make it. I have another arrangement.	-	You're ugly
It's not you. It's me.	-	It's you. You're ugly.
I think we should just be friends.	-	You're ugly.
Let's take it slow.	-	You're ugly.
I love you.	-	I don't, but if it will make you shut up…

In all honesty, I think there are just as many men out there searching for true love as women.

Barely educated consumers with too much free time that we've become has lead us

to discussing such matters online rather than face-to-face with actual people.

But, I do think that women pre-judge each other far too harshly, so you're bound to hear

girls chatter about how so-and-so dude is married to the most haneous bitch on earth...

when in fact they don't know anything about the woman other than she's thrown them

shade once or twice.

Some of the most 'not-good' women out there are actually kind of sweet.

.

[Edited 4/12/11 23:40pm]

Actually, this is what is really going on between the sexes.

WOMEN

I came with friends, so I have to leave with them. Sorry	-	You really turn me off. You're a loser.
I can't make it. I have another arrangement.	-	I do not want to waste my time being seen with you.
It's not you. It's me.	-	It's definitely you.
I think we should just be friends.	-	You will never get a chance to sleep with me ever again.
Let's take it slow.	-	You're coming on way too strong for me, dude. Give me some space.
I love you.	-	I love you.
MEN
I came with friends, so I have to leave with them. Sorry.	-	You're ugly
I can't make it. I have another arrangement.	-	You're ugly
It's not you. It's me.	-	It's you. You don't turn me on at all/anymore.
I think we should just be friends.	-	You're ugly/stupid/crazy, etc..
Let's take it slow.	-	See above.
I love you.	-	I don't, but if it will make you shut up…

And for Ms. Jackson, remember, most men are not mind readers. While women are naturally well versed in non-verbal communication and can understand each other's thoughts really well, men are not like that. Men are very direct, and unless you have established some type of rapport with them, you have to come out directly and tell the guys what you feel.

LOL! Not this lady. I'm pretty blunt.

JustErin said:

KidaDynamite said:

Why would they take offense if it doesn't apply to them...why would anyone take offense?

How can they not?

She claimed that "men don't (or can't) make it work with good women, but rather, end up marrying or hooking up with women who don't give a rat's ass about them."

Um....ok then.

Okay, so she worded that to where people misinterpreted what she was saying. Like I stated earlier, she wasn't talking about all men on the green earth but a selection of men, same goes for women too. I don't want to change her words around if that's not what was intended BUT I think it was moreso aimed at folks who actually have witnessed those kind of situations and wanted to speak out/give insight on it. No one's trying to insult all of the already wedded folks so {don't be "cheezed" off or whatever else} it's not like that.

Damn, the people on here always have a way of making people regret shit.

KidaDynamite said:

JustErin said:

How can they not?

She claimed that "men don't (or can't) make it work with good women, but rather, end up marrying or hooking up with women who don't give a rat's ass about them."

Um....ok then.

Okay, so she worded that to where people misinterpreted what she was saying. Like I stated earlier, she wasn't talking about all men on the green earth but a selection of men, same goes for women too. I don't want to change her words around if that's not what was intended BUT I think it was moreso aimed at folks who actually have witnessed those kind of situations and wanted to speak out/give insight on it. No one's trying to insult all of the already wedded folks so {don't be "cheezed" off or whatever else} it's not like that.

Damn, the people on here always have a way of making people regret shit.

It may not be what she meant, but it is exactly what she wrote.

As for dudes with shitty gfs/wifes...meh, whatever, those shitty women obviously give them something they want or they wouldn't be with them at all.

Like others have said, if all the men we are interested in are in situations like this, we need to take a look at why we are attracted to guys like that in the first place.

And I do think men want a good woman...the kind Sherry described in her original post.

JustErin said:

KidaDynamite said:

Okay, so she worded that to where people misinterpreted what she was saying. Like I stated earlier, she wasn't talking about all men on the green earth but a selection of men, same goes for women too. I don't want to change her words around if that's not what was intended BUT I think it was moreso aimed at folks who actually have witnessed those kind of situations and wanted to speak out/give insight on it. No one's trying to insult all of the already wedded folks so {don't be "cheezed" off or whatever else} it's not like that.

Damn, the people on here always have a way of making people regret shit.

It may not be what she meant, but it is exactly what she wrote.

As for dudes with shitty gfs/wifes...meh, whatever, those shitty women obviously give them something they want or they wouldn't be with them at all.

Like others have said, if all the men we are interested in are in situations like this, we need to take a look at why we are attracted to guys like that in the first place.

And I do think men want a good woman...the kind Sherry described in her original post.

I thought the general concensus is men marry a nice lady, but date a whole bunch of sluts beforehand, isn't it?

ZombieKitten said:

JustErin said:

It may not be what she meant, but it is exactly what she wrote.

As for dudes with shitty gfs/wifes...meh, whatever, those shitty women obviously give them something they want or they wouldn't be with them at all.

Like others have said, if all the men we are interested in are in situations like this, we need to take a look at why we are attracted to guys like that in the first place.

And I do think men want a good woman...the kind Sherry described in her original post.

I thought the general concensus is men marry a nice lady, but date a whole bunch of sluts beforehand, isn't it?

Hahaha...yeah.

JustErin said:

ZombieKitten said:

I thought the general concensus is men marry a nice lady, but date a whole bunch of sluts beforehand, isn't it?

Hahaha...yeah.

or they marry the unattainable bitch - maybe that's what these ladies are trying to explain. The one that gives them a good chase and ends up like a trophy for them

I have no idea! My man wanted a mother to his children, and that's what he got

I think women are equally likely to marry someone who does not care about them

Some people marry for how the couple looks on paper, not for love.

But not everyone. I have read though, that one person in the relationship always loves more than the other. So maybe it always seems that one person does not care about the other.

ZombieKitten said:

JustErin said:

Hahaha...yeah.

or they marry the unattainable bitch - maybe that's what these ladies are trying to explain. The one that gives them a good chase and ends up like a trophy for them

I have no idea! My man wanted a mother to his children, and that's what he got

Ms. Zombie...you got it.

SherryJackson said:

ZombieKitten said:

or they marry the unattainable bitch - maybe that's what these ladies are trying to explain. The one that gives them a good chase and ends up like a trophy for them

I have no idea! My man wanted a mother to his children, and that's what he got

Ms. Zombie...you got it.

I think that is just a small percentage of guys, ones with a chip on their shoulder and no dignity you don't want a guy like that!!!

ZombieKitten said:

SherryJackson said:

Ms. Zombie...you got it.

I think that is just a small percentage of guys, ones with a chip on their shoulder and no dignity you don't want a guy like that!!!

Seems like all the guys in my neck of the woods are like this.

Yeah, I don't need them kinda men. At the moment, I'm workin' like crazy, goin' to college, studying my ass off...

And whenever I do find myself fancying someone...it almost never works out. He either takes interest in someone else, or I just ain't his type, or he's just interested in a fuck.

SherryJackson said:

kewlschool said:

I guess you have to ask yourself what kind of guy are you attractive to?

Also, do you go seeking a different type of guy and ignore the "good" type of guy that you say you want?

Idk what guys see when they look at me.

I don't think I ignore the good ones. Only main criteria that attract a guy for me is a fun loving personality, and good sense of humour. There more, but usually if I guy can keep my interest for more than 15 minutes, I usually am willing to give them a chance.

Wow, that's it?

WaterInYourBath said:

SherryJackson said:

Idk what guys see when they look at me.

I don't think I ignore the good ones. Only main criteria that attract a guy for me is a fun loving personality, and good sense of humour. There more, but usually if I guy can keep my interest for more than 15 minutes, I usually am willing to give them a chance.

Wow, that's it?

You'd be surprised how many can't.

SherryJackson said:

WaterInYourBath said:

Wow, that's it?

You'd be surprised how many can't.

Take your two standard requirements (along with the aforementioned "nice guy" quality), add about 15 more, then you've got mine. Yes, I'm quite particular, lol.

SherryJackson said:

There are some good, caring women out there. With beauty, brains, class, the whole shebang. Women who got their own but have a lot to offer and a lot to give. And yet, men never pick up on any of these things. Especially those men for whom our hearts beat for.

Sadly, many men prefer a woman who's not necessarily beautiful, not so smart, a little classless...a woman who ain't got a damned thing to offer other than the scrambled eggs between her legs.

Why?

That bitch is easier to control.

[Edited 4/14/11 1:54am]

oh, good lord.

when i find a "good woman", i'll stop looking.

SherryJackson said:

I wanna know why you don't show any love for a good woman.

Who says I don't?

And what is a "good woman"?

Tremolina said:

SherryJackson said:

I wanna know why you don't show any love for a good woman.

Who says I don't?

And what is a "good woman"?

My guess is she means herself.

Not that I think there is anything wrong with that statement. But really, what I believe is being said is the men that they become interested in are not interested back and that's more the issue.

Physical attraction is what fucks up common sense. If we used our common sense more often, we would have more fullfilling relationships. Because we yield to physical attraction, we end up with men/women who are not worthy of us. We all fall prey to this primitive way of thinking and I suppose to a degree it is necessary since babies gotta get born n shit.

Actually, bump that physical attraction argument. All these ugly mofos walking roaming the planet, physical attraction must be the last thing anyone is considering.

Sherry my dear....I think stupidity and conformity are to blame. Perhaps some men want a woman who makes them "look good" and some women want a man just to say they have one.

Fuck...I dunno. Everybody crazy. Yeah that's it.

HotGritz said:

Physical attraction is what fucks up common sense. If we used our common sense more often, we would have more fullfilling relationships. Because we yield to physical attraction, we end up with men/women who are not worthy of us. We all fall prey to this primitive way of thinking and I suppose to a degree it is necessary since babies gotta get born n shit.

Actually, bump that physical attraction argument. All these ugly mofos walking roaming the planet, physical attraction must be the last thing anyone is considering.

Sherry my dear....I think stupidity and conformity are to blame. Perhaps some men want a woman who makes them "look good" and some women want a man just to say they have one.

Fuck...I dunno. Everybody crazy. Yeah that's it.

Perhaps people should stop getting married.

JustErin said:

Tremolina said:

Who says I don't?

And what is a "good woman"?

My guess is she means herself.

Not that I think there is anything wrong with that statement. But really, what I believe is being said is the men that they become interested in are not interested back and that's more the issue.

I'm not just talking about myself. Kida has been thru it. Other women have been thru it. I've had women bend my ear telling me how things are great for them. Life's been good, careers going well, sweet and caring, beautiful, can have their pick of anyone, but they're still without that someone.

While you second statement is more closer to the truth, I'd add by saying its not just that they're not interested. My CENTRAL question is..why wouldn't they be when these women, myself included, have so much to offer?

Some posts in here may have already answered that question.

[Edited 4/14/11 11:33am]

[Edited 4/14/11 11:34am]

SherryJackson said:

Eh.

I'm afraid, my friends, I've made some bad generalizations. Moment of frustration I guess.

Mods, y'all can this now...

Erin, my final say to you would be I wrote this because these are observations Kida and I noticed with men men in our lives (w/ some exceptions). I don't mean to insult or piss off women in meaningful relationships.

This thread doesn't need a lockdown, but from my observation, most men marry women like their mothers or they marry women that a lot of men are not chasing. For those who marry sluts, I guess they thought that they can turn a trick to a treat. It has been mentioned here that it's the challenge, but then at the end of the day, I question their self esteem. I think statistics, if there is such statistics, would help to determine somehow the percentage of men who marry so-called plain janes, how many marry sluts, and how many men marry the women that you've described, the whole shebang of a woman. Despite statistics, people marry who they marry, and if you're the whole shebang, someday your prince will come. Some people have to kiss more frogs than others, but let me also say this. Not everyone on this earth is meant to be married. It is not in everyone's destiny to do so.

Woman are greedy, not my fault. lol

SherryJackson said:

JustErin said:

My guess is she means herself.

Not that I think there is anything wrong with that statement. But really, what I believe is being said is the men that they become interested in are not interested back and that's more the issue.

I'm not just talking about myself. Kida has been thru it. Other women have been thru it. I've had women bend my ear telling me how things are great for them. Life's been good, careers going well, sweet and caring, beautiful, can have their pick of anyone, but they're still without that someone.

While you second statement is more closer to the truth, I'd add by saying its not just that they're not interested. My CENTRAL question is..why wouldn't they be when these women, myself included, have so much to offer?

Some posts in here may have already answered that question.

[Edited 4/14/11 11:33am]

[Edited 4/14/11 11:34am]

Ok, so instead of looking at yourself and saying, "what am I doing that is not attracting a guy who wants to be with me?", you're pointing fingers saying, "What's wrong with all these guys and why are they not wanting to be with me or girls that I believe are as good as me?"

I dunno, I'm not trying to be mean here but our opinions of ourselves are not always the same as other's opinions of us. We might think we've got it all figured out, that we are the perfect package when really, we're not so much.

I'm not saying that we need to totally blame ourselves for not getting what we want but I don't think that saying it's everyone else's fault or that men don't want "good women" is a tad silly and probably won't change our situations in the long run.