Serious said:

LadyLuvSexxy said:

*had a response, but is sloooowly backing the heck outta this thread*

I can relate. It's really sad what has been going on here, but I guess it's no surprise. This thread that started as a nice discussion between open-minded people turned into the typical P&R thread.

[img:$uid]http://i764.photobucket.com/albums/xx284/Admiral_Shran/twilight_359.jpg[/img:$uid]

openminded? You mean I wasn't about to be asked the color of my blood?

SCNDLS said:

StillGotIt said:

Well...maybe I'm reading you wrong....or maybe I'm reading you right. I just feel like you do a lot of prodding when it comes to people of color.

Or maybe black folks get tired of being questioned, assessed, and analyzed by others like gorillas in the mist or some shit.

I truly didn't get that vibe from the initial post, and I can usually sniff that type of stuff out, miles away . I really do think those were innocent questions.

And to be fair, the majority of African-American women DO straighten their hair, who are we kidding. And most do spend hours of their lives in beauty salons, going through the whole process from start to finish.

And then there's a few of us who decide we don't have the patience for it, think it's fucking dumb, and go, "What's wrong with us wearing letting our hair grow out of our heads the way it was intended to, and just going from there."

And the ones who decide to do that, more often than not, do get looked at sideways and get a lot of fucked up comments, from people of *all* backgrounds - black, included.

armpit said:

SCNDLS said:

Or maybe black folks get tired of being questioned, assessed, and analyzed by others like gorillas in the mist or some shit.

I truly didn't get that vibe from the initial post, and I can usually sniff that type of stuff out, miles away . I really do think those were innocent questions.

And to be fair, the majority of African-American women DO straighten their hair, who are we kidding. And most do spend hours of their lives in beauty salons, going through the whole process from start to finish.

And then there's a few of us who decide we don't have the patience for it, think it's fucking dumb, and go, "What's wrong with us wearing letting our hair grow out of our heads the way it was intended to, and just going from there."

And the ones who decide to do that, more often than not, do get looked at sideways and get a lot of fucked up comments, from people of *all* backgrounds - black, included.

I agree.

Serious said:

LadyLuvSexxy said:

*had a response, but is sloooowly backing the heck outta this thread*

I can relate. It's really sad what has been going on here, but I guess it's no surprise. This thread that started as a nice discussion between open-minded people turned into the typical P&R thread.

Actually Ithe problem with P&R especially 2 years ago, was that when topics such as this was "trying" to be discussed, especially race-related topics, there was a particular crew that would come into those threads with closed minds, stereotypical assumptions and hidden prejudices, ignorance n disrespect, that would hijack those type threads, and were not interested in "learning" about the topic being discussed, but were moreso about insecuritiies and uncomfortable truths being exposed they were not able to handle, yet chose to participate in the thread.

I can see some of the same personalities in this thread. Certain topics are very sensitive to many people, so if you experience some "defensive" or "offended" behavior from those who the topic may relate to, it could be because of the same type of behavior they experienced from other threads in P&R that was loaded withdisrespect they received from those whose interests in the topic was not of "sincerity, " but moreso "mockery and disrespect". So regardless of which forum these type topics are discussed, you will find the same type of behavior from the latter within in it, even if the original poster's intentions were/is of his/her personal interest with sincerity, but others who participate in the thread may not be.

Only on Prince.org...

armpit said:

SCNDLS said:

Or maybe black folks get tired of being questioned, assessed, and analyzed by others like gorillas in the mist or some shit.

I truly didn't get that vibe from the initial post, and I can usually sniff that type of stuff out, miles away . I really do think those were innocent questions.

And to be fair, the majority of African-American women DO straighten their hair, who are we kidding. And most do spend hours of their lives in beauty salons, going through the whole process from start to finish.

And then there's a few of us who decide we don't have the patience for it, think it's fucking dumb, and go, "What's wrong with us wearing letting our hair grow out of our heads the way it was intended to, and just going from there."

And the ones who decide to do that, more often than not, do get looked at sideways and get a lot of fucked up comments, from people of *all* backgrounds - black, included.

I agree with the bolded part, but is this not the same type of practice from all women? Nothing unusual. Go past any beauty salon, and you will see women of all race/ethnic groups doing the same. So it's not "exclusive" with Blacks and shouldn't be treated as a "science" project. Thing is, you don't really see these types of questions being thrown around as much with women of other race/ethnic groups, and maybe some women of color here are just tired of it being treated like everything they do has to be questioned or explained, when others don't have to face this on the same level as this particular group of women. Let's be real, some members of the Org have not always been embracing of all ethnic groups, and the mockery and posting of questionable gifs, particularly of members of specific groups, can be found all over this site. Nothing new.

I am not saying the poster's intentions were of malice, because i didn't get that vibe, but there are others who intentionally get on these type threads with a different motive in mind, and use it as an excuse to mock or bait, and that could be why these type threads always take a turn. If you want to learn about a specific culture, you have to leave personal prejudices behind, and actually learn and listen from/to the sources of that particular culture.

Not to mention, many on here, don't take responsibility for some of their "questionable" comments/constant bullying behavior/attitudes, but real quick to jump on these type threads just to "bait", and piont fingers at others, yet those are the ones whose motives are always questionable.

[Edited 4/9/11 8:45am]

Myster said:

I understand what folks mean about feeling like a science experiment. But I often hear black figures crying about the lack of dialogue in America about race. Either progress and healing will come from talking, or we'll just laugh at "others" for be- ing different or ignorant when dialogue takes place. I think progress is worth the risk and thicker skin.

I agree with some of your post. It is good to discuss it, despite the tensions that arise. Race topics don't come without tension, that's a fact because everyone is so afraid of fingers being pointed at them or swear that someone is intentionally trying to impose guilt upon them, when often times that's not the case. One wouldn't feel imposed with guilt if they hadn't imposed it on themselves in the first place, and instead should come to the table with these type topics, with an "open mind" to listen and learn, and leave their egos at the door.

If you ever look at a national geographic channel and watch the way many anthropologists go into other ethnic groups, cultures, primitive societies, etc., you can see where they leave their own belief systems/ lifestyles/customs/egos at the door, when researching a particular group's culture/customs, with an open mind. This is in despite of their own personal feelings, snarky opinions, disagreements, customs or prejudices they may have internally, about a specific group's way of life/customs. Well, that's how some folks here should approach these types of discussions, if they wish to learn truth/facts or have curiosities/questions about specific situations, among certain groups in this country or elsewhere.

[Edited 4/9/11 8:29am]

2elijah said:

armpit said:

I truly didn't get that vibe from the initial post, and I can usually sniff that type of stuff out, miles away . I really do think those were innocent questions.

And to be fair, the majority of African-American women DO straighten their hair, who are we kidding. And most do spend hours of their lives in beauty salons, going through the whole process from start to finish.

And then there's a few of us who decide we don't have the patience for it, think it's fucking dumb, and go, "What's wrong with us wearing letting our hair grow out of our heads the way it was intended to, and just going from there."

And the ones who decide to do that, more often than not, do get looked at sideways and get a lot of fucked up comments, from people of *all* backgrounds - black, included.

I agree with the bolded part, but is this not the same type of practice from all women? Nothing unusual. Go past any beauty salon, and you will see women of all race/ethnic groups doing the same. So it's not "exclusive" with Blacks and shouldn't be treated as a "science" project. Thing is, you don't really see these types of questions being thrown around as much with women of other race/ethnic groups, and maybe some women of color here are just tired of it being treated like everything they do has to be questioned or explained, when others don't have to face this on the same level as this particular group of women. Let's be real, some members of the Org have not always been embracing of all ethnic groups, and the mockery and posting of questionable gifs, particularly of members of specific groups, can be found all over this site. Nothing new.

I am not saying the poster's intentions were of malice, because i didn't get that vibe, but there are others who intentionally get on these type threads with a different motive in mind, and use it as an excuse to mock or bait, and that could be why these type threads always take a turn. If you want to learn about a specific culture, you have to leave personal prejudices behind, and actually learn and listen from/to the sources of that particular culture.

Not to mention, many on here, don't take responsibility for some of their "questionable" comments/constant bullying behavior/attitudes, but real quick to jump on these type threads just to "bait", and piont fingers at others, yet those are the ones whose motives are always questionable.

[Edited 4/9/11 8:45am]

...We all know women of other ethnicities also do things to their hair.

But this thread isn't about other women, it's about African-American women, specifically.

And, we can try and bullshit about this all day and all night, but you and I both know, it's only in the African-American community that a woman's hair in its natural state is so reviled. In what other communities of women do you know of women who will process their daughter's hair with chemicals before they can even read; and how in other communities, wearing your hair in its natural state isn't seen as a revolutionary act, but in the black community, it is (like the woman in the Chris Rock interview said) .

The argument about how women of other backgrounds also wear weave, doesn't even hold up, because they don't wear weave to anywhere near the frequency and extent that black women do, let's completely put this out there. The relaxers destroy the scalp, eat up the hair, then a lot of women compensate by running to buy someone else's hair to put in their head, or are on a constant quest looking for the perfect products or regimens to help them 'grow hair' - Google the LongHairCare forum, a place where a ton of black women meet up and preoccupy themselves solely with taking all kinds of risky amounts of vitamins and supplements and do all this over the top, crazy shit, trying to grow their hair. All this, rather than just wear their hair in its natural, healthier state, because that is just a no-no.

The female African-American community has a shitload of hangups and issues and self-hatred, revolving around their hair that isn't anywhere near as intense in other communities of women. That is the bottom line.

[Edited 4/9/11 10:23am]

armpit said:

SCNDLS said:

Or maybe black folks get tired of being questioned, assessed, and analyzed by others like gorillas in the mist or some shit.

I truly didn't get that vibe from the initial post, and I can usually sniff that type of stuff out, miles away . I really do think those were innocent questions.

And to be fair, the majority of African-American women DO straighten their hair, who are we kidding. And most do spend hours of their lives in beauty salons, going through the whole process from start to finish.

And then there's a few of us who decide we don't have the patience for it, think it's fucking dumb, and go, "What's wrong with us wearing letting our hair grow out of our heads the way it was intended to, and just going from there."

And the ones who decide to do that, more often than not, do get looked at sideways and get a lot of fucked up comments, from people of *all* backgrounds - black, included.

Frankly, for me it doesn't matter whether the questions were innocent or not. I for one, get tired of being questioned/scrutinized by others about black people's habits and culture as if we're something to be studied. How about folks go out and genuinely include people of color in their circle of friends and engage in an open, face to face discussion AFTER establishing a real friendship to address these questions.

But on some level for me, like Painted said, questions like these seem in bad form. I have friends of all races and cultures, and their customes are different from mine and although I may be "curious" I still wouldn't be rude enough to interrogate them about their cultural practices. I would just chalk it up to "Wow, that's different. I'm sure there's a valid reason why they do that and I really don't NEED to why." But hey, that's just me.

paintedlady said:

people get tired of explaining themselves.

Its crazy really, of course you don't relate... but if you were asked ignorant questions all the time and felt you had to "teach" people who claim to be so "understanding" and "culturally aware"... its rude. But many women extend themselves. But why should we have to teach anybody anything?

Its the sense of entitlement that gets tiresome.....

"explain youself to me"

"why is your hair like that?"

"why is your skin like that?"

"why do you think that way?"

Hair in general is OK, but like I said before... its a slippery slope when you make it about race.

Totally co-sign.

White people ask me about my hair on an almost DAILY fucking basis. How would ya'll feel if the shoe was on the other foot?

So it's not really JUST about this thread or Ace's motivations. Even if it's 1000% innocent, it's still a pain in the ass if YOU are the object of these kind of questions on a regular basis. White people in general are not subjected to this type of scrutiny from black folks about their appearance, language, or culture. So just cuz you're curious you're entitled to encroach on someone else? For me, the shit just gets kinda old.

[Edited 4/9/11 10:39am]

SCNDLS said:

paintedlady said:

people get tired of explaining themselves.

Its crazy really, of course you don't relate... but if you were asked ignorant questions all the time and felt you had to "teach" people who claim to be so "understanding" and "culturally aware"... its rude. But many women extend themselves. But why should we have to teach anybody anything?

Its the sense of entitlement that gets tiresome.....

"explain youself to me"

"why is your hair like that?"

"why is your skin like that?"

"why do you think that way?"

Hair in general is OK, but like I said before... its a slippery slope when you make it about race.

Totally co-sign.

White people ask me about my hair on an almost DAILY fucking basis. How would ya'll feel if the shoe was on the other foot?

So it's not really JUST about this thread or Ace's motivations. Even if it's 1000% innocent, it's still a pain in the ass if YOU are the object of these kind of questions on a regular basis. White people in general are not subjected to this type of scrutiny from black folks about their appearance, language, or culture. So just cuz you're curious you're entitled to encroach on someone else? For me, the shit just gets kinda old.

[Edited 4/9/11 10:39am]

Like I said earlier, I

understand. Reminds

me of this NPR story.

SCNDLS said:

armpit said:

I truly didn't get that vibe from the initial post, and I can usually sniff that type of stuff out, miles away . I really do think those were innocent questions.

And to be fair, the majority of African-American women DO straighten their hair, who are we kidding. And most do spend hours of their lives in beauty salons, going through the whole process from start to finish.

And then there's a few of us who decide we don't have the patience for it, think it's fucking dumb, and go, "What's wrong with us wearing letting our hair grow out of our heads the way it was intended to, and just going from there."

And the ones who decide to do that, more often than not, do get looked at sideways and get a lot of fucked up comments, from people of *all* backgrounds - black, included.

Frankly, for me it doesn't matter whether the questions were innocent or not. I for one, get tired of being questioned/scrutinized by others about black people's habits and culture as if we're something to be studied. How about folks go out and genuinely include people of color in their circle of friends and engage in an open, face to face discussion AFTER establishing a real friendship to address these questions.

But on some level for me, like Painted said, questions like these seem in bad form. I have friends of all races and cultures, and their customes are different from mine and although I may be "curious" I still wouldn't be rude enough to interrogate them about their cultural practices. I would just chalk it up to "Wow, that's different. I'm sure there's a valid reason why they do that and I really don't NEED to why." But hey, that's just me.

Well, I'm black and I have no problem with the questions posed in this thread. I really don't have any problems answering any questions of this nature at all when I can tell it's coming from a genuine place.

It's not an interrogation, it's a couple questions. If this type of thing annoyed me and I thought they were dumb questions and I were sick of answering stuff like this, I'd just skip the thread. I really don't see how clusterfucking the guy over this is justified in any way.

You wouldn't ask, that's great. That doesn't mean other people can't ask, or don't have the right to be curious.

I honestly only read a few posts on the first page of this thread before I originally commented. I'm not sure where it "went", if it got ugly or weird I really have no desire to read six more pages of that. But I do want to point out that if you've read any number of Ace's threads it should be pretty clear that his intention was not to offend or "take it there".

SCNDLS said:

paintedlady said:

people get tired of explaining themselves.

Its crazy really, of course you don't relate... but if you were asked ignorant questions all the time and felt you had to "teach" people who claim to be so "understanding" and "culturally aware"... its rude. But many women extend themselves. But why should we have to teach anybody anything?

Its the sense of entitlement that gets tiresome.....

"explain youself to me"

"why is your hair like that?"

"why is your skin like that?"

"why do you think that way?"

Hair in general is OK, but like I said before... its a slippery slope when you make it about race.

Totally co-sign.

White people ask me about my hair on an almost DAILY fucking basis. How would ya'll feel if the shoe was on the other foot?

So it's not really JUST about this thread or Ace's motivations. Even if it's 1000% innocent, it's still a pain in the ass if YOU are the object of these kind of questions on a regular basis. White people in general are not subjected to this type of scrutiny from black folks about their appearance, language, or culture. So just cuz you're curious you're entitled to encroach on someone else? For me, the shit just gets kinda old.

[Edited 4/9/11 10:39am]

Yeah - but it's not like he went up to you directly in Orgnotes and started sending you specifically a bunch of questions . He posted a topic on a forum, and everybody has the right to do that. No one forced you to answer anything.

armpit said:

SCNDLS said:

Totally co-sign.

White people ask me about my hair on an almost DAILY fucking basis. How would ya'll feel if the shoe was on the other foot?

So it's not really JUST about this thread or Ace's motivations. Even if it's 1000% innocent, it's still a pain in the ass if YOU are the object of these kind of questions on a regular basis. White people in general are not subjected to this type of scrutiny from black folks about their appearance, language, or culture. So just cuz you're curious you're entitled to encroach on someone else? For me, the shit just gets kinda old.

[Edited 4/9/11 10:39am]

Yeah - but it's not like he went up to you directly in Orgnotes and started sending you specifically a bunch of questions . He posted a topic on a forum, and everybody has the right to do that. No one forced you to answer anything.

I didn't say that he did and I didn't say he couldn't post whatever he wants. I'm obviously talking about how I feel about these kinds of questions in general. You don't agree, that's fine, but am I not allowed to express MY opinion about it too???

SCNDLS said:

armpit said:

Yeah - but it's not like he went up to you directly in Orgnotes and started sending you specifically a bunch of questions . He posted a topic on a forum, and everybody has the right to do that. No one forced you to answer anything.

I didn't say that he did and I didn't say he couldn't post whatever he wants. I'm obviously talking about how I feel about these kinds of questions in general. You don't agree, that's fine, but am I not allowed to express MY opinion about it too???

...So you're basically arguing that you have a right to verbally bitch-slap this guy for asking innocent questions in a thread you aren't obligated to participate in if the subject matter isn't to your taste?

Honestly - I'm truly not trying to attack you. I actually think you're an alright person, but you guys really are clusterfucking the poor guy.

armpit said:

SCNDLS said:

I didn't say that he did and I didn't say he couldn't post whatever he wants. I'm obviously talking about how I feel about these kinds of questions in general. You don't agree, that's fine, but am I not allowed to express MY opinion about it too???

...So you're basically arguing that you have a right to verbally bitch-slap this guy for asking innocent questions in a thread you aren't obligated to participate in if the subject matter isn't to your taste?

Honestly - I'm truly not trying to attack you. I actually think you're an alright person, but you guys really are clusterfucking the poor guy.

Where did I bitch slap Ace?

ALL of my comments have been about MY feelings/opinions about white folks, in general not just Ace, asking these kinda questions. So I don't know what the hell you're talking about.

[Edited 4/9/11 11:29am]

Hair is Hair. People are entitled to do what they want with their hair. Black women are not the only ones not wearing their hair natural. If you color, straighted, curl, or use weaves, then you are not so natural. Hair industry make a lot of money.

SCNDLS said:

armpit said:

...So you're basically arguing that you have a right to verbally bitch-slap this guy for asking innocent questions in a thread you aren't obligated to participate in if the subject matter isn't to your taste?

Honestly - I'm truly not trying to attack you. I actually think you're an alright person, but you guys really are clusterfucking the poor guy.

Where did I bitch slap Ace?

ALL of my comments have been about MY feelings/opinions about white folks, in general not just Ace, asking these kinda questions. So I don't know what the hell you're talking about.

[Edited 4/9/11 11:29am]

Okay, I think it's understood that you don't like these questions and don't like answering them.

We completely get you on that one. You've expressed it more than once, we've read it, we understand.

So now it's a matter of everybody else who doesn't have a problem with the subject, going forward from here on out.

And Purplestar - sure, at the end of the day, hair is hair and everybody has the right to do with it what they want, absolutely. But in the black community, it's wayyy more than 'just hair' - it's a pretty loaded subject, which really this thread is proving . And a lot of times in the AA community, if you don't straighten your hair, you get grief because of it and made to feel like you don't have the right to do what you want with your hair.

armpit said:

SCNDLS said:

Where did I bitch slap Ace?

ALL of my comments have been about MY feelings/opinions about white folks, in general not just Ace, asking these kinda questions. So I don't know what the hell you're talking about.

[Edited 4/9/11 11:29am]

Okay, I think it's understood that you don't like these questions and don't like answering them.

We completely get you on that one. You've expressed it more than once, we've read it, we understand.

So now it's a matter of everybody else who doesn't have a problem with the subject, going forward from here on out.

And Purplestar - sure, at the end of the day, hair is hair and everybody has the right to do with it what they want, absolutely. But in the black community, it's wayyy more than 'just hair' - it's a pretty loaded subject, which really this thread is proving . And a lot of times in the AA community, if you don't straighten your hair, you get grief because of it and made to feel like you don't have the right to do what you want with your hair.

Well, if you read and understood my point why did you keep pressing me about it? It's not like I was just hammering away at it for no reason. I stated my opinion, and you kept pressing me and making incorrect assumptions about what I was saying so I had to keep reiterating my point to clarify. So, please don't try to insinuate I'm just here trying to bash Ace cuz I have not done that. Alright?

SCNDLS said:

armpit said:

Okay, I think it's understood that you don't like these questions and don't like answering them.

We completely get you on that one. You've expressed it more than once, we've read it, we understand.

So now it's a matter of everybody else who doesn't have a problem with the subject, going forward from here on out.

And Purplestar - sure, at the end of the day, hair is hair and everybody has the right to do with it what they want, absolutely. But in the black community, it's wayyy more than 'just hair' - it's a pretty loaded subject, which really this thread is proving . And a lot of times in the AA community, if you don't straighten your hair, you get grief because of it and made to feel like you don't have the right to do what you want with your hair.

Well, if you read and understood my point why did you keep pressing me about it? It's not like I was just hammering away at it for no reason. I stated my opinion, and you kept pressing me and making incorrect assumptions about what I was saying so I had to keep reiterating my point to clarify. So, please don't try to insinuate I'm just here trying to bash Ace cuz I have not done that. Alright?

Who kept pressing you?

It went kinda like this :

Ace : I have some questions about black ladies and their hair.

You : I'M SICK OF ANSWERING THESE FUCKING QUESTIONS! WE'RE NOT APES! *stomps away*

Me : It was an innocent question. You don't have to answer if you don't want to, either.

You : WHITE PEOPLE ASK ME THIS SHIT ALL THE TIME!

Me : You don't have to answer it. Some of us don't mind and we will, if you don't want to that's fine, you can always leave the thread. You're jumping on him for asking harmless questions that no one is forcing you to answer.

You : I DIDN'T JUMP ON ANYONE! I'M SICK OF THESE DUMBASS QUESTIONS!

Me : *blank stare* I get that. We heard you.

You : YOU KEEP PRESSING ME ABOUT IT! WHY IS THAAAAAT?!!

Me : *headdesk*

I'm not really insinuating anything either - I'm outright stating it. You pretty much did participate in a group butt-fuck on him for asking these questions, like he doesn't have the right to ask and like you don't have the right to not respond.

Look - I've had weird experiences too with people asking or saying fucked-up shit, just to be assholes. But honestly - that's not what he's doing here, and I don't see anything wrong with someone who truly just has a question, asking it and those who don't mind, answering it. It's not the end of the world. It's really not a big deal. And others who posted earlier, made a good point - how is anyone supposed to get past racial and cultural differences if everything is constantly off-bounds? What's wrong with people asking questions and getting to know things about other people, when it's done from a place of respect, which Ace has shown?

Basically - why don't you save this going-on-the-warpath shit for people who deserve it? Cuz you and I both know, there are plenty of them out there in the world.

That's my last comments on this particular aspect of things - I'm not gonna take the thread any more off-topic than I already have. Plus - arguing online is just really fucking retarded .

armpit said:

SCNDLS said:

Well, if you read and understood my point why did you keep pressing me about it? It's not like I was just hammering away at it for no reason. I stated my opinion, and you kept pressing me and making incorrect assumptions about what I was saying so I had to keep reiterating my point to clarify. So, please don't try to insinuate I'm just here trying to bash Ace cuz I have not done that. Alright?

A whole bunch of

Didn't know that stating my opinion meant I was on the warpath. But, whatevs.

Ace said:

How many of you wear your hair "au naturel" (i.e. no weaving, lace-fronts-or-other wigs or straightening)?

I ask because, from what I read, it seems like black women who don't do any of these things are in the vast minority. Is this accurate?

It seems like so much work! I get tired just thinking about it!

In S. Fla. we have black women from all around the world and their hairstyles pretty much cover the spectrum from natural, colored, weaved, relaxed, etc. There is a lot of diversity and relaxed attitudes about the hair thing. Dreads are popular on males and females.

These days my hair is relaxed. I'm not one to spend much time on hair, so I just put it in a ponytail and go. No hours of combing, curling, coloring, blowing or twisting...no hangups about my natural hair. When it was natural I kept those large braids that I could put in a ponytail and go. No way in hell I would sit in one place long enough for micro braids...if I thought I could get away with shaving my head I might try it.

I think well groomed hair of any texture looks nice....I don't like seeing clumped up dreads or jacked up weaves or lacefronts that look surgically implanted, LOL!

Myster said:

SCNDLS said:

Totally co-sign.

White people ask me about my hair on an almost DAILY fucking basis. How would ya'll feel if the shoe was on the other foot?

So it's not really JUST about this thread or Ace's motivations. Even if it's 1000% innocent, it's still a pain in the ass if YOU are the object of these kind of questions on a regular basis. White people in general are not subjected to this type of scrutiny from black folks about their appearance, language, or culture. So just cuz you're curious you're entitled to encroach on someone else? For me, the shit just gets kinda old.

[Edited 4/9/11 10:39am]

Like I said earlier, I

understand. Reminds

me of this NPR story.

Now that is a total no-no...I have no problem with curiosity but invading personal space is hella annoying. Reminds me of a video I saw of Esperanza Spalding and Justin Bieber backstage at the Grammies and his touching her afro "Ohh that's so cool"... Like really. So awkward.

Used to also wear a lot of braids when I was natural and I still do now. I love to have that ability to just get up and go with them....I can't count how many Caucasians have actually tugged on my braids.."Wow how do they do that....so exotic......how long did it take"....I can answer your all questions but please don't touch me when I dont know you like that that's all i'm saying

In a way I understand how black women could get upset over discussions like this because they are seen as doing things wrong when every other race does the same exact thing.

I think there's this idea that women who don't wear natural hair are trying to be something they are not. And when they are questioned why they don't wear their own styes they defend their actions. I know this because I get accused of trying to be blonde when i'm filipina. I like my wavy hair but I just feel better and accepted when I straighten it. It's okay to wear your hair the way you want. Some people aren't pressured they just like their hair in a different style.

Fauxie said:

paintedlady said:

Really? Well, no wonder then.

It's pathetic, I think.

I think so too.

armpit said:

SCNDLS said:

Well, if you read and understood my point why did you keep pressing me about it? It's not like I was just hammering away at it for no reason. I stated my opinion, and you kept pressing me and making incorrect assumptions about what I was saying so I had to keep reiterating my point to clarify. So, please don't try to insinuate I'm just here trying to bash Ace cuz I have not done that. Alright?

Who kept pressing you?

It went kinda like this :

Ace : I have some questions about black ladies and their hair.

You : I'M SICK OF ANSWERING THESE FUCKING QUESTIONS! WE'RE NOT APES! *stomps away*

Me : It was an innocent question. You don't have to answer if you don't want to, either.

You : WHITE PEOPLE ASK ME THIS SHIT ALL THE TIME!

Me : You don't have to answer it. Some of us don't mind and we will, if you don't want to that's fine, you can always leave the thread. You're jumping on him for asking harmless questions that no one is forcing you to answer.

You : I DIDN'T JUMP ON ANYONE! I'M SICK OF THESE DUMBASS QUESTIONS!

Me : *blank stare* I get that. We heard you.

You : YOU KEEP PRESSING ME ABOUT IT! WHY IS THAAAAAT?!!

Me : *headdesk*

I'm not really insinuating anything either - I'm outright stating it. You pretty much did participate in a group butt-fuck on him for asking these questions, like he doesn't have the right to ask and like you don't have the right to not respond.

Look - I've had weird experiences too with people asking or saying fucked-up shit, just to be assholes. But honestly - that's not what he's doing here, and I don't see anything wrong with someone who truly just has a question, asking it and those who don't mind, answering it. It's not the end of the world. It's really not a big deal. And others who posted earlier, made a good point - how is anyone supposed to get past racial and cultural differences if everything is constantly off-bounds? What's wrong with people asking questions and getting to know things about other people, when it's done from a place of respect, which Ace has shown?

Basically - why don't you save this going-on-the-warpath shit for people who deserve it? Cuz you and I both know, there are plenty of them out there in the world.

That's my last comments on this particular aspect of things - I'm not gonna take the thread any more off-topic than I already have. Plus - arguing online is just really fucking retarded .

OMG!! THIS is the most accurate interpretation of what sadly goes on in threads like these. It's just rude.

I was tempted to post the links of several org threads over the past couple of years where many different black women here have discussed various issues about hair freely and openly. It isn't an unusual subject around the org for anyone that is interested. It always comes out the same, no group of people march to the same drum, especially when they have several options to chose from, it's not that complicated.

I usually wear it straight but sometimes I let it all go crazy with the curls