tell me something, honestly: when you are riding an elevator with a stranger, do you consider yourself to have done them a favor when you interrupt the silence to comment on the weather/etc.? in your opinion, is such an intrusion also one that falls into the category of 'common courtesy'?

XxAxX said:

Of course not. I am ususally quiet on an elevator. As far as the door opening thing. I was raised to be courteous and thoughtful of others. To open a door for someone was a good thing when i grew up.



Being nice to the edit
[This message was edited Fri Feb 7 7:37:53 PST 2003 by theC]

AnotherLover2 said:

I don't think it is violent as much as it is just uncomfortable and degrading for a woman. Just as it is equally uncomfortable and degrading for a man to be polite and hold the door open and not even get the courtesy of a thank you in return.

one display of a lack of courtesy deserves another in return in my book, and if you don't say thank you you deserve to bite the pillow.

Hmmm--here's a thought: let's only open doors for people and be nice to them if it makes us feel better about ourselves!

Seriously, though, I suppose we should only do things like open doors for each other if it comes from the heart,with no expectations of thanks, but just cause it's how we are...

AnotherLover2 said:

So true.. then again a little thanks never hurt. It is a way of acknowledging the gentlmanly gesture..

sag10 said:

Well, of course, sag, and most of the people I hold doors open for do say "thank you", and I know I always do, so I think we just have to learn to let a few jerk's rudenesses go.

theC said:

i understand you point totaly, HOWEVER,
i've found that the thanks is in the doing. I TRY to
have the attitude that the things i do i don't do for a thankyou, YET after a period of no 'thanks' i do tend to
curtail the things that i do for that particulr person.
AS FOR THE LADIES... it's cool if they don't say anything
but then you have those BITCHES that give you that shitty
attitude like 'it's your job' or even worse "Ewww"
like doin the DOOR THANG meant you wanted to fuck they ugly ass, IN WHICH CASE, I BLAST


edit thankyou
[This message was edited Fri Feb 7 11:32:39 PST 2003 by 00769BAD]

AnotherLover2 said:

I too find this very annoying.

If I open or hold a door 4 someone, and they don't at least acknowledge that someone is doing something kind 4 u, it's plain RUDE.

I was raised 2 b a gentleman.

I will continue 2 open or hold doors 4 folks... but now, if someone doesn't say 'thank u', or 'oh, how kind'...etc. I grab them, pull them back out the door, and close it in front of them and tell'em , open ur own damn door!



Not really. but I do say (in a slightly raised voice) "U're WELCOME". Usually, they say, 'oh... thank u.'

Some still just keep on walking!

doing something for it's own intrinsic value and being upset by someones rude behavior are two different issues.

I'm not the asshole for holding the door open and expecting a gesture of appreciation from the recipient of my actions, the person who benefits from my kindness and ignores me is.

theC said:

i hear ya. i never thought of you as the kind of guy who would get all chatty on the elevator but they're out there. and, sometimes the definition of 'common courtesy' can be a matter of taste, preference and individual timing.

i make an effort to be courteous and thank men (and women) when they hold the door open for me and even when they interrupt my thoughts to inform me it's cold outside, as i stand there in my winter coat

theC said:

Don't do it if u feel like ur doing me favor, I can open my damn door

dumbass said:

Then don't do it if you expect anything. What, are you a dog, where you have to have praise for even the slightest little thing you do, aside from licking your own ass?

theC said:

"Thank you sir" is very easy.

.

Common Courtesy

not so common these days

shausler said:

I am surprised to find out the same. But i still see alot of people who believe in it.

shausler said:

I haven't noticed.

Seriously...the men are quite polite in opening doors, and offering up their seat. Hell, when I'm in line at the grocery store...I'll get offers to bag my groceries.

I think they are doing far better than they could be, considering women cry sexual harassment at the drop of a hat.



(I wanted to add, that this type of fear that has been put into clean men, who wouldn't even think of sex - but are afraid to compliment, be polite, or so much as look at someone the "wrong" way.)
[This message was edited Fri Feb 7 21:38:42 PST 2003 by LaVisHh]

theC said:

never say never

i have seen the rude turn respectful

right here on the org

me being one (sort of)

the beauty of being human

the ability to

chance and grow

I don't do it for the thanks you's.
I open a door when I woman carries something in her hands and needs help, and I hold the door not only for women, but for men too, just out of politeness.
Most of the gentleman gestures I do are to show affection or likeness towards her (doesn't have to be romanticly, could be as a friend).

theC said:

I feel a woman SHOULD be courteous enuf 2 say "thank u". sure women can manage themselves these days, but a man is usually making more of a statement to her than being helpful. it is more of a gesture, or compliment or one showing "her" he is a person with respect & manners. thanking him 4 his "manners" shows a woman has manners as well.

grandebelle said:

BINGO! And to set the record straight, i don't do it for the thank you's. I do it because i want to, but i am still shocked by some peoples responces to someone being polite.
I always do this so it is a habit for me and most time i do even pay attention to the person going through the door.

I love chivalrous men, and courteous people period. I always smile big and say thanks to anyone who holds open a door for me. I definitely get a little miffed when I do this for someone else and they look at me like I have fingers growing out of my head. Yes people, there actually are some of us out there that actually care about courtesy.

for the record:

I do appriciate when men open door's etc.
I will always thank any human for any gesture of kindness.

Muse2noPharaoh said:

Yes! Thank you's should be automatic.

I love it when a man opens a door for me & I ALWAYS say thank you (I say thank you ALL the time, we all should more often)

What I hate is when a man gets angry or feels inadequate b/c you demonstrate an ability to do those things for yourself That's some stupid shit. Don't prevent me from doing it myself if that's what I want to do, BUT I'm grateful if you do it for me. This isn't a race, you know? I'm a woman, not a patient who needs everything done for them... MEN