Cops: Pensioner fired four shots at home of crush, 53

MARCH 22--After being denied a kiss yesterday by a neighbor 39 years her junior, a 92-year-old Florida woman allegedly returned to her home, retrieved a .380 semi-automatic handgun, and fired several shots into the man’s residence

Aged pistolero Helen Staudinger was arrested last night and charged with aggravated assault and firing into an occupied dwelling, according to a Marion Cou...ice report. Staudinger is pictured in the mug shot at right.

Investigators allege that Staudinger went next door to speak with Dwight Bettner, but her 53-year-old neighbor asked her to leave. In an interview with a sheriff’s deputy, Staudinger said she told Bettner that she would not leave unless he gave her a kiss.

Bettner declined, which triggered an argument between the Fort McCoy residents.

That is when an incensed Staudinger returned to her home, got her gun, and allegedly fired into Bettner’s residence. Bettner, who was hit by flying debris, was not seriously injured by the gunfire.

Staudinger told a cop that she had planned to “shoot his car that he loved so much.” Investigators believe that she instead “fired diagonally through the victim’s carport hitting the house with all four rounds fired.”

Bettner told police that he has had “on-going issues with Ms. Staudinger and feels that she is enamored with him.” He added that he had previously told his neighbor that he had a girlfriend, “at which time Ms. Staudinger allegedly threatened to shoot him.”

A sheriff’s deputy reported that she recovered Staudinger’s weapon--with a bullet in the chamber--from an end table in the nonagenarian’s living room.

Staudinger, facing a pair of felonies, is being held in the county lockup in lieu of $15,000 bond.

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AND she is keeping this country safe from foreign invadors!

holy crap

scary old lady :hide:

Ok, just wait a minute! Wait! Wait! Wait!

Oh hell to the naw! There is something clearly missing from this story! That woman is 92 years old and was packing some serious heat!

AIN'T no way in the fuck...she's just a crazy old lady... because she clearly was in complete control of her faculties enough to...load, cock and shoot...that bitch!

My intuition is telling me...that this was about way more than her just being denied a kiss!!

Kiss nothing, I think THAT old woman wanted to give that man oral sex. He said hell no. And she got extreme piss-off and planned to kill him because she couldn't accept the rejection. Plain and simple.

TonyVanDam said:

Kiss nothing, I think THAT old woman wanted to give that man oral sex. He said hell no. And she got extreme piss-off and planned to kill him because she couldn't accept the rejection. Plain and simple.

Shiiiit! Speaking as a semi-automatic gun owner...if she planned to kill him...she would have!

I'd tap that, in hell, in a bell, on the moon in June palying a bassoon.

UncleGrandpa said:

I'd tap that, in hell, in a bell, on the moon in June palying a bassoon.

Damn. I don't know why but when I read this I thought of Bobby Womack's song . . . .

"A Woman Gotta Have It."

TD3 said:

Damn. I don't know why but when I read this I thought of Bobby Womack's song . . . .

"A Woman Gotta Have It."

TD3 said:

Damn. I don't know why but when I read this I thought of Bobby Womack's song . . . .

"A Woman Gotta Have It."

Ok...ok! Being completely honest...I did think of Spike Lee's "She's Gotta Have It"...for just a moment!

HatrinaHaterwitz said:

TD3 said:

Damn. I don't know why but when I read this I thought of Bobby Womack's song . . . .

"A Woman Gotta Have It."

Ok...ok! Being completely honest...I did think of Spike Lee's "She's Gotta Have It"...for just a moment!

Girl, we weren't the only ones, we just had the courage to say so.

TD3 said:

HatrinaHaterwitz said:

Ok...ok! Being completely honest...I did think of Spike Lee's "She's Gotta Have It"...for just a moment!

Girl, we weren't the only ones, we just had the courage to say so.

HELLO!

Was she that desperate? Damn.

it's always the lill old ladies with bad eye brows

TD3 said:

Damn. I don't know why but when I read this I thought of Bobby Womack's song . . . .

"A Woman Gotta Have It."

I'm done!!!

physco185 said:

it's always the lill old ladies with bad eye brows

See what happens when you misplace your knitting needles?