vainandy said:

I don't think it's a big deal at all. Non smokers have just made it a big deal. I remember when they first started smoking sections in restaurants which I thought was fine with but I told everyone at the time...."Mark my words, even though this ain't no big deal, when you give those motherfuckers an inch, they will try to take a mile"....and it turned out I was right. A few years ago, they did away with smoking altogether not only in restaurants, but also in nightclubs which is absolutely rediculous. Well, I can live with and tolerate going outside to smoke but now I see they want to ban smoking even on the outside premises of public buildings.

It's just like I thought, it's all about motherfuckers wanting to control someone else's life just because they hate something they are doing on the OUTSIDE and at a DISTANCE away from them. Next, they'll be trying to ban folks from smoking in their own house or apartment. I've always been able to somewhat understand their arguments about not wanting to be around cigarette smoke and could tolerate being in certain sections or even outdoors but when you want to ban it outdoors, then it's all about control. Knowing what I know now about where it eventually led to, I wish they had told them back in the mid to late 1980s when they first started smoking sections that "If you don't want to be around smoke, then hold your damn breath till you make it outside the building and get the fuck out and don't come back".

.

.

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[Edited 3/2/11 9:25am]

amen

It's a tough situation because nobody is perfect, and you have to accept some flaws.

But you don't even want to kiss her. That is a problem. And she did promise to quit.

Everyone decides what they can handle and what they can not. Some people might forgive cheating. Some might not. If you can't handle smoking, then you can't handle smoking. It's your decision and whatever you (and she) decide is what's right for your situation.

Our opinions don't really matter here!

paintedlady said:

Dewrede said:

you sound like a freakin nazi

why not just ler everyone enjoy their fag

I think it wouldn't be so bad if the smell didn't stick to the smoker so much. I can smell it in their clothes, hair, car and I catch a whiff if a smoking woman set her purse down on a table next to me.

Why does the smell never fade? I think this is why a non-smoker may have an issue living in the same household... heck even the washer and dryer will smell of cigarettes.

My gf smokes, and she only does it outside, she puts her hair up, washes her hands afterwards, has a mint, and it really does not linger so much. It's different than when we hung out in bars and smoked inside and stunk like crazy.

I still want her to quit, of course!

TheDigitalGardener said:

CarrieMpls said:

I am a former smoker. All the clichés about smoking and quitting are true. It is harder to give up than heroin. She needs to quit for herself, not for you. Her smoking has absolutely nothing to do with you.

And I can guarantee you that deep down she wants to quit and she HATES that she hasn’t been able to already. It makes her feel weak and like a failure. So you harping on her about not quitting yet will only make her feel worse, which will impede any attempts on her part to quit.

Once I quit I never thought I’d date a smoker. But I fell in love and my bf smokes. He was trying to quit when we met and didn’t smoke around me hardly at all for the first few months. He’d wear the patch whenever we were together, wouldn’t smoke if I was in the car, etc. He even made a big attempt to quit in January and made it a month, but ultimately went back to smoking. I loooooooooooooved how much better he smelled and such and made sure to always tell him so. When he went back to smoking I was upset but I ultimately understood as I know how hard it is. He still talks about quitting again and has talked to his doctor about it as well. I know he will quit when he is ready. It just takes a long time to get there.

You need to decide what you can live with and what you can’t but if you want to stay with her and for her to quit smoking you need to be positive, supportive and encouraging.

I do hope that statement is one of the cliches about smoking, because that is utter nonsense.

I was going to say that, too. If quitting cigs is harder than heroin, then I need to go get some black tar real quick cuz it ain't a big deal.

blackbob said:

my partner of 5 years now is a smoker...not heavy but about 10 - 15 a day....

That's NOT heavy? More than 3 a day is heavy.

Graycap23 said:

blackbob said:

my partner of 5 years now is a smoker...not heavy but about 10 - 15 a day....

That's NOT heavy? More than 3 a day is heavy.

Says who?

Graycap23 said:

blackbob said:

my partner of 5 years now is a smoker...not heavy but about 10 - 15 a day....

That's NOT heavy? More than 3 a day is heavy.

yeah 15 is almost a pack a day!

when I smoked less than 5 a day I felt okay, but after 10 a day I felt like crap

I have quit smoking maybe 2-3 times. I don't find it terribly difficult to do.

As an asthmatic, smoking never really bothered me and doesn't impede my oxygen. The worst thing about smoking, for me, was the smell and my teeth. I was petrified that my teeth would rot. It's bad enough it stains your teeth and gives your skin a kind of sallow tint to it. I only smoked for 10 years, but that was enough. Some people who smoke for decades permanently stink of old smoke.

That being said, anyone who shits on someone else cuz they smoke is a child.

Spinlight said:

Graycap23 said:

That's NOT heavy? More than 3 a day is heavy.

Says who?

The average person is only awake for 16 hours a day. At 15 sigs a day, that is just under 1 sig per hour awake. At 3 sigs a day, that is 1 per every 5 hours......which still seems way high in my opinion.

Graycap23 said:

Spinlight said:

Says who?

The average person is only awake for 16 hours a day. At 15 sigs a day, that is just under 1 sig per hour awake. At 3 sigs a day, that is 1 per every 5 hours......which still seems way high in my opinion.

Well, I've always thought it averaged out that most smokers in the US smoke about 1 an hour, give or take per their schedules. And if they are social smokers and they go out frequently, they smoke even more.

Smoking in the US isn't the same as smoking in Europe where apparently its custom to light up after each meal and thats it. I know friends who smoke every hour, plus every time they eat, plus every time they fuck, plus double the rate if they are drunk or high.

Spinlight said:

Graycap23 said:

The average person is only awake for 16 hours a day. At 15 sigs a day, that is just under 1 sig per hour awake. At 3 sigs a day, that is 1 per every 5 hours......which still seems way high in my opinion.

Well, I've always thought it averaged out that most smokers in the US smoke about 1 an hour, give or take per their schedules. And if they are social smokers and they go out frequently, they smoke even more.

Smoking in the US isn't the same as smoking in Europe where apparently its custom to light up after each meal and thats it. I know friends who smoke every hour, plus every time they eat, plus every time they fuck, plus double the rate if they are drunk or high.

Yikes.

I don't get it and can't relate 2 smoking.

I smoke cuban cigars when I want to celebrate something, but that's all... I'm 25 and perhaps I've smoked...uh, let's say 30 cigars in 8 years...

I can understand the appeal of a cigarette, but thankfully, I don't give a damn about it. I consider that cigarettes are a cheap & harmful drug, a pale imitation of a good cuban cigar.

And I just can't overlook the nasty smoking-related problems (cancer, bad teeth, halitosis, lost money, the "monkey", etc.)

and NO, I couldn't date a smoker...

Is it a big deal to me? No. I'm used to it.

I grew up around a lot of smokers.

Well, i grew up around smokers and i hate the smell of smoke, i hate the smell of pot and all that crap. Some of the guy's and gals i have dated smoked cigs or pot and i just couldn't kiss them with that nasty breath

For love i will do almost anything, and i still kissed them but had to wash my mouth out every time

For me personally i don't like it but in the business i am in 80 percent of the people smoke... so i have to deal with it

Gunsnhalen said:

Well, i grew up around smokers and i hate the smell of smoke, i hate the smell of pot and all that crap. Some of the guy's and gals i have dated smoked cigs or pot and i just couldn't kiss them with that nasty breath

For love i will do almost anything, and i still kissed them but had to wash my mouth out every time

For me personally i don't like it but in the business i am in 80 percent of the people smoke... so i have to deal with it

You don't even like the smell of pot? I think cannabis has a wonderful smell...

In fact, cannabis doesn't even fuck up your teeth or breath at all. If someone has funky breath when they toke, its cuz their grill is grimey.

Spinlight said:

Gunsnhalen said:

Well, i grew up around smokers and i hate the smell of smoke, i hate the smell of pot and all that crap. Some of the guy's and gals i have dated smoked cigs or pot and i just couldn't kiss them with that nasty breath

For love i will do almost anything, and i still kissed them but had to wash my mouth out every time

For me personally i don't like it but in the business i am in 80 percent of the people smoke... so i have to deal with it

You don't even like the smell of pot? I think cannabis has a wonderful smell...

In fact, cannabis doesn't even fuck up your teeth or breath at all. If someone has funky breath when they toke, its cuz their grill is grimey.

not true, it will get tar all over your teeth

Spinlight said:

Gunsnhalen said:

Well, i grew up around smokers and i hate the smell of smoke, i hate the smell of pot and all that crap. Some of the guy's and gals i have dated smoked cigs or pot and i just couldn't kiss them with that nasty breath

For love i will do almost anything, and i still kissed them but had to wash my mouth out every time

For me personally i don't like it but in the business i am in 80 percent of the people smoke... so i have to deal with it

You don't even like the smell of pot? I think cannabis has a wonderful smell...

In fact, cannabis doesn't even fuck up your teeth or breath at all. If someone has funky breath when they toke, its cuz their grill is grimey.

The smell of pot never bothered me, I smoked pot until I was 11... my mom gave it to me as a kid thinking it was good for asthma. It was the 70's.... poor misinformed thing...

she stopped smoking pot when someone slipped some angel dust in her joint... she was having a heart attack and quit immediately after that... weed that is.

She quit the cigs after I kept randomly putting those explosive thingies in them. I put one real close to the butt and she took a final drag on that exploded too close to her lip and split it. She beat my ass with one of those wooden platform shoes... it was like 6 in the morning.

Her lip didn't go down for like 4 days... everyone thought her guy did that to her.

I told her I wouldn't stop putting the explosives in her cigaretts... she would have to kill me. Also told her that it was her fault that I was always sick with asthma.

She quit cold turkey that very week... she was a 3 pack a day smoker. I was 15 at the time. She hasn't smoked one since. I love my momma!

i dated a ashmatic smoker..death wish?

i don't get the whole kissing a astray thing. the one time he kissed me in the middle of smoking a cig ok i tasted the smoke but otherwise i never did.

Spinlight said:

Graycap23 said:

The average person is only awake for 16 hours a day. At 15 sigs a day, that is just under 1 sig per hour awake. At 3 sigs a day, that is 1 per every 5 hours......which still seems way high in my opinion.

Well, I've always thought it averaged out that most smokers in the US smoke about 1 an hour, give or take per their schedules. And if they are social smokers and they go out frequently, they smoke even more.

Smoking in the US isn't the same as smoking in Europe where apparently its custom to light up after each meal and thats it. I know friends who smoke every hour, plus every time they eat, plus every time they fuck, plus double the rate if they are drunk or high.

That's about right. I smoke probably around one an hour. Sometimes I may smoke two an hour. When I'm at work, I may smoke one every or two hours or so. I'm constantly finding excuses to walk and deliver something over to the other building so I can sneak in another cigarette on the walk over. On my lunch hour, I may make up for those lost hours and smoke two or sometimes three.

If I eat anything, I mean even a damn bag of chips, I've got to have a cigarette aferwards. A cigarette is at it's absolute best directly after I'm full as hell from a meal. If I'm really full, I may need two cigarettes. When I'm drinking, that's a total different story. I will chain smoke when I drink and I know many smokers that chain smoke when they drink. That's why I think it's absolutely rediculous for nightclubs to be smoke free.

On a normal day, I probably smoke about a pack and a half a day.

vainandy said:

Spinlight said:

Well, I've always thought it averaged out that most smokers in the US smoke about 1 an hour, give or take per their schedules. And if they are social smokers and they go out frequently, they smoke even more.

Smoking in the US isn't the same as smoking in Europe where apparently its custom to light up after each meal and thats it. I know friends who smoke every hour, plus every time they eat, plus every time they fuck, plus double the rate if they are drunk or high.

That's about right. I smoke probably around one an hour. Sometimes I may smoke two an hour. When I'm at work, I may smoke one every or two hours or so. I'm constantly finding excuses to walk and deliver something over to the other building so I can sneak in another cigarette on the walk over. On my lunch hour, I may make up for those lost hours and smoke two or sometimes three.

If I eat anything, I mean even a damn bag of chips, I've got to have a cigarette aferwards. A cigarette is at it's absolute best directly after I'm full as hell from a meal. If I'm really full, I may need two cigarettes. When I'm drinking, that's a total different story. I will chain smoke when I drink and I know many smokers that chain smoke when they drink. That's why I think it's absolutely rediculous for nightclubs to be smoke free.

On a normal day, I probably smoke about a pack and a half a day.

I think a pack is about average amongst the smokers I know, but the way you describe it sounds about right (though when I smoked, I never smoked more than 2 any given hour otherwise my chest would seize up or my spit would taste gnarly).

Hell yes it's a big deal to me Smoking is an automatic turn off and I won't touch a boy who does it. If I'm at a gathering outside and someone starts smoking, I'll move as far away as I can. I don't want my lungs polluted with that filth.

JoeTyler said:

I consider that cigarettes are a cheap & harmful drug, a pale imitation of a good cuban cigar.

Cheap, my ass! I've been smoking Benson & Hedges menthol 100s since 1985 and they have gone up damn near $7 a pack. When you buy two packs at a time a day (a smoker always buys more than they need because they are never going to be at the risk of running out of cigarettes), that comes into some big money. About two years ago, they were between $3 and $4 a pack and these damn non-smokers (who need to mind their own fucking business) started raising hell and I remember them going up a full dollar in one week and a few months later, they went up another full dollar. I think it was more the taxes on them going up than anything else because I noticed that while Benson & Hedges was up there at $6, brands like Salem, Newport, Kool, etc. went up also but all of a sudden they lowered their prices to around $4. I think they lowered the price of the cigarettes themselves so they wouldn't lose too many sales. Benson & Hedges though, refused to lower their prices and a lot of stores stopped carrying them because customers were bitching about the high price. They are getting hard to find now.

My sister introduced me to a generic brand that she smokes called Seneca Menthol 100s. They are tolerable and I've been trying to ween myself away from Benson and Hedges and onto the Seneca's which cost $3.20 a pack. I can't do it though. I buy one pack of Benson and Hedges and one pack of Seneca's and criss cross them....smoke a few B&H and a few Seneca's. I have bought just a pack of Seneca's before and have found myself driving to the store at midnight absolutely dying for a B&H.

That's what trips me out about these damn nonsmokers hollering...."Well, just quit"....Hell, I can't even get off of Benson & Hedges, which I've smoked since 1985 and fully leave them alone and convert to another brand so I sure as hell can't quit smoking altogether. And these nonsmokers that say...."I think they should make all cigarettes illegal".....oh no honey, they just think they want all cigarettes illegal. Let me go a few hours without a Benson & Hedges and I'm just a bitch, but let me go without no cigarettes at all and I'm liable to be a damn mass murderer.

Spinlight said:

Gunsnhalen said:

Well, i grew up around smokers and i hate the smell of smoke, i hate the smell of pot and all that crap. Some of the guy's and gals i have dated smoked cigs or pot and i just couldn't kiss them with that nasty breath

For love i will do almost anything, and i still kissed them but had to wash my mouth out every time

For me personally i don't like it but in the business i am in 80 percent of the people smoke... so i have to deal with it

You don't even like the smell of pot? I think cannabis has a wonderful smell...

In fact, cannabis doesn't even fuck up your teeth or breath at all. If someone has funky breath when they toke, its cuz their grill is grimey.

Ew, i mean to each his own but i hate the smell

RubyButterfly said:

I live in an apartment complex and about a year ago a couple women moved into the unit below me, They are extremely heavy smokers. What they do in their own home is their business, but the issue gets complicated and frustrating for me because I have health problems, including a sensitivity to smoke (makes my eyes burn and sting, sinuses get plugged up...and I do just hate the stink of cigarette smoke anyway), and their smoke gets so thick it comes up into MY apartment. I can smell it so strongly some days. Really gross. This isn't the most well-built building in the world and the smoke odor get especially strong inside cupboards and under the bathroom sink cabinet.

They also sit outside on their balcony - them, and their friends who also all smoke - almost every day and evening during the warmer months....smoking. And smoking. AND SMOKING. I can't open my balcony door for fresh air anymore because the heavy cigarette smoke wafts up and into my apartment.

Obviously I can't dictate what they choose to do in their home and that's not what I would feel is right to do, either. So my only recourse is to move, which I must admit bugs me because I can't really afford to move right now, and I've been here for over 7 years and they just got here, yet my quality of living has been reduced so much I dont' know how I can continue living here.

That happened to me in the last apartment I lived in. It's so hard to do anything about it, either - because the smoke comes up around the plumbing and whatnot. The smoker downstairs finally moved, but not before I spent the better part of a year being more or less all the time.

The management said that when he moved out, they had to replace all the carpeting and repaint because they couldn't get the smell out of the place.

blackbob said:

my partner of 5 years now is a smoker...not heavy but about 10 - 15 a day....and i have always been a non smoker and have always hated it...not just because it is disgusting but for health reasons...my uncle died at an early age because of heavy smoking...

.

the problem is that when we were talking 3 years ago about buying a house together and making a commitment...i was unsure because as far as i was concerned....the smoking put me off going near her and....i know this may sound silly to some people....it made me think twice about making a commitment to her because i knew it would affect the relationship...

.

so i let her know that i was unsure about making a commitment and she promised me that she wanted to make a new start and if we bought the house together...she would give up smoking...it has been banned from public places in scotland now for a number of years and i thought all of this plus my support and a new start would be enough ...

.

but it hasnt...she has never really stopped and ...now....it is badly affecting the relationship because i dont really want to kiss her or get close to her ...unless i am really ...well...you know....i had a crap relationship before and i wanted to have a close loving one this time and for life but now its just a so so one and i dont know what to do...

.

should i just accept it as....i know....she was a smoker when i met and fell for her...

.

or should i tell her she has broken her promises to me about making a new start and giving up the cancer sticks ??...

.

i dont know....maybe i am making too much of a big deal out of it...

I'm a smoker and I understand how you feel. It is a filthy habit, but it is very, very difficult to quit if you are truly addicted.

If it is so important to you and you really feel that you can't/won't tolerate her smoking, then by all means end the relationship. She will and can only quit when she is seriously ready to do so. I have tried to quit dozens of times, and each time I have failed.

I have been begged, nagged, bribed, insulted, everything, by family who have tried to get me to quit. People who have never smoked or never had a severe addiction just don't get it. IT IS FUCKING HARD, PEOPLE! I am going to do it one day because I am tired to spending $18 for 3 packs of cigarettes that last me about 3.5 days. I'm tired of smelling like a friggin ashtray. I'm tired of my house, car and clothes smelling like smoke. I'm pissed because my teeth are not as bright as they should be and will have to spend a grand to get them whitened. Plus, I really am ashamed that I still smoke. I smoke at home and in my car on the way to and from work. I wonder how many fellow drivers see me and think, "Geez. What an asshole!" Chocolate1 is right when she says stress is a big factor. If you have a stressful job or have to deal with a lot of BS and you're a smoker, it makes it doubly hard to quit. Cigarettes are a great stress reliever. I don't know why, but the first thing a smoker reaches for when stressed is a cigarette.

NDRU said:

Spinlight said:

You don't even like the smell of pot? I think cannabis has a wonderful smell...

In fact, cannabis doesn't even fuck up your teeth or breath at all. If someone has funky breath when they toke, its cuz their grill is grimey.

not true, it will get tar all over your teeth

Righto, buddy. Point me in the direction of someone with bad teeth from smoking marijuana.

Shyra said:

Chocolate1 is right when she says stress is a big factor.

Thanks, but that wasn't me....

I'm from the "can't stand it" camp.

vainandy said:

JoeTyler said:

I consider that cigarettes are a cheap & harmful drug, a pale imitation of a good cuban cigar.

Cheap, my ass! I've been smoking Benson & Hedges menthol 100s since 1985 and they have gone up damn near $7 a pack. When you buy two packs at a time a day (a smoker always buys more than they need because they are never going to be at the risk of running out of cigarettes), that comes into some big money. About two years ago, they were between $3 and $4 a pack and these damn non-smokers (who need to mind their own fucking business) started raising hell and I remember them going up a full dollar in one week and a few months later, they went up another full dollar. I think it was more the taxes on them going up than anything else because I noticed that while Benson & Hedges was up there at $6, brands like Salem, Newport, Kool, etc. went up also but all of a sudden they lowered their prices to around $4. I think they lowered the price of the cigarettes themselves so they wouldn't lose too many sales. Benson & Hedges though, refused to lower their prices and a lot of stores stopped carrying them because customers were bitching about the high price. They are getting hard to find now.

My sister introduced me to a generic brand that she smokes called Seneca Menthol 100s. They are tolerable and I've been trying to ween myself away from Benson and Hedges and onto the Seneca's which cost $3.20 a pack. I can't do it though. I buy one pack of Benson and Hedges and one pack of Seneca's and criss cross them....smoke a few B&H and a few Seneca's. I have bought just a pack of Seneca's before and have found myself driving to the store at midnight absolutely dying for a B&H.

That's what trips me out about these damn nonsmokers hollering...."Well, just quit"....Hell, I can't even get off of Benson & Hedges, which I've smoked since 1985 and fully leave them alone and convert to another brand so I sure as hell can't quit smoking altogether. And these nonsmokers that say...."I think they should make all cigarettes illegal".....oh no honey, they just think they want all cigarettes illegal. Let me go a few hours without a Benson & Hedges and I'm just a bitch, but let me go without no cigarettes at all and I'm liable to be a damn mass murderer.

hell, 7$ for a pack of cigarettes?? , for 8 $ I get a good cuban cigar, so tasty and smooth that I could die...

and no, that wasn't a sexual innuendo

[Edited 3/2/11 13:53pm]

chocolate1 said:

Shyra said:

Chocolate1 is right when she says stress is a big factor.

Thanks, but that wasn't me....

I'm from the "can't stand it" camp.

See, the smoke done affected my damn brain cells! I meant BklynBabe. Y'alls my girls!

Spinlight said:

NDRU said:

not true, it will get tar all over your teeth

Righto, buddy. Point me in the direction of someone with bad teeth from smoking marijuana.

not bad teeth like a crack smoker, no, but my teeth had tar all over them when I smoked pot.

It cleans up after some months, but then, so does the tar in your lungs--assuming you stop in time. Tar all over your teeth cannot be beneficial to keeping them plaque free!

Who knows what the long term affect was, but in the short term, they looked fucked up!