StonedImmaculate said:

ThrillUorKillU said:

Imo its not child molestation. but If I were you at 13/14 I would've ACTUALLY tried to fuck her. But tha'ts just me.

Believe you me...I wanted to but I seriously thought she was just comfortable with me.

Part of me thought she wanted me once I hit junior high, but the chance that I was looking to deeply into it held me back. She and my mom were sooo close...had I tried and she wasnt down with it she would not have kept her mouth shut. My mom would have murdered me.

Looking back...yeah, I coulda fucked her. Glad I didnt...that would have really fucked me up.

Yeah, seeing how it was your mothers best friend

SUPRMAN said:

I remember going to the corner store and checking out Playgirl because Jim Brown was in it. I was in the third grade I think. He turned me on. It scared me that I couldn't get his naked body out of my head. Of course, I couldn't talk about it either.

I remember the Jim Brown layout (actually have the .jpg's from it). I always admired how casual he was about being nude in a magazine. Here was this super masculine, super famous Black man, just laying it out there.

StonedImmaculate said:

So when I was 5 years old my family moved from Treasure Island (San Fran, CA) to San Diego. When we moved my mom left behind her best friend "Jane" but about a year later Jane moved down to San Diego as well. She lived with us for a few months before she got her own place. She worked the graveyard shift for the phone company so she kind of just shared my room since I was never there in the day when she slept. My 6-7 year old bedtime was 8:30, just before she would get ready for work. Every single night she'd come in the room from the shower with her towel on. The towel came off and was wrapped around her wet head of hair as she paraded around in front of me stark naked. And she took her sweet fucking time. She put her makeup on naked, brushed her hair out, ironed her clothes, brushed her pubic hair...all the while knowing I was watching in awe. Several times we mad eye contact in the mirror and she would smile or look away or whisper "Go to sleep." Of course I was absolutely in love with her but never said a word to her or anyone else. The way I lookd at it, my mom paraded around naked in front of me all the time (hell, she still does!) and Jane was like my mom to me...she and my mom were friends before I was even born, you know? I saw nothing wrong with what she was doing, but I thought/knew I was dirty. I lusted after her for years...when she got her own place I constantly spent the night so I could "listen to her records" but I really wanted to be there just to see her naked. She was always naked in front of me, took showers with me and "washed" me when I spent the night, slept naked in the bed with me. This went on all the way up until I was in the eighth grade, 13/14 years old. Well, the showers and sleeping together stopped much earlier than that, but not the nakedness. And again, I never said a word to anyone...even when she sat upside down in a recliner with nothing but a night shirt on. The night shirt dropped and her bush is right there, maybe 4 feet away from my frigging face. By that time I was ready to fuck her but never tried out of fear of rejection/her telling my mom. But I was so fucking hot for her.

I seriously thought she did nothing wrong (and I still kind of think it was a "mom" thing) until I told my wife the story about a year after we started dating. Now I met my wife in the ninth grade but she wouldnt give me the time of day because I was a "whore" to her. She really liked me and told me so, but refused to give in to me. We became really good friends thru high school though and she finally let me take her on a date about 6 months after we graduated. When I told her the story she lost her mind telling me that Jane abused me, etc. "Now it make sense....thats why you started fucking at such a young age! That's why you were such a whore! You poor thing!" I got pissed at her for insinuating that Jane abused me and that I had issues but as she started to break it down, she started to make sense. I could not deny the fact that Jane knew I was enamored with her and knew what she was doing...hell, she was in her late 20s early 30s when this shit started. Then my wife asked me "Was she ever naked like that when your brothers were around?" I thought about it and no, she wasnt! I still defended her since my brothers were 5 and 6 years older than me...maybe she didnt have that "mom" relationship with them when they were babies like she did with me. Maybe thats why she wasnt as comfortable around them? "You're making excuses for her because you liked it!" says my wife. Really pissed me off so I told her what I thought was the real molestation that happened to me...

A cousin's cousin (no blood relation to me) used to visit my cousin's family every summer. We knew each other from babies and one day when I was 8, "Michelle" (she was 13) took me in my cousin's room and started fooling with me. I dont remember how the hell it happened but I ended up on top of her...I dont remember if I had a hard on but she taught me how to grind. She made me kiss her...we didnt french, she just told me to put my lips on hers and dont take them off until she tells me. I will never forget getting up...she was wearing red cutoff sweat shorts and had dripped thru. Plain as day she was dripping wet. I said "Ew...you peed on yourself!" She told me not to tell anyone and I didnt...I thought she was just embarassed about peeing her pants and didnt want anyone to know.

My wife claimed (and still does to this day) that the Michelle situation was just kids fooling around...Jane on the other hand molested me. I kinda see it, but then I dont. I never really saw either situation as a big deal until my wife started convincing me otherwise. Now, at 37 and looking back over life, these two situations explain a lot to me.

Dont know why I decided to put this all out there...just been thinking a lot about it.

Thoughts please...

1. You were NOT molested or raped as a child.

2. The main thing that "Jane" did wrong counts as sexual misconduct. A grown woman walking around naked in front of a child that is NOT her own is definitely sexual misconduct.

3. I'm guessing that the reason why you made this thread is because you might be feeling guilty that you never told your mother what "Jane" did. Or maybe, you feel bad that you never told "Jane" how it made you feel watching her naked in front of you.

PDogz said:

Timmy84 said:

That of itself is not abnormal. My mom's been walking around the house naked when she's not going anywhere and no company's around.

I rarely wear clothes at home, lol (TMI?). Although, I'm not sitting around upside down in chairs brushing my pubes with kids watching my ass, lol.

SUPRMAN said:

Timmy84 said:

I think I was around that age too or older (not sure lol). But nevertheless I was intrigued (and so was my dick). But I think my dick is turned on to nudity be it a man or woman.

My father had a Playboy collection that I remember was in the basement until he came and got them or my mother threw them out. Spending a summer with my father I found his stash. I already knew I preferred guys so they didn't do anything for me. I remember going to the corner store and checking out Playgirl because Jim Brown was in it. I was in the third grade I think. He turned me on. It scared me that I couldn't get his naked body out of my head. Of course, I couldn't talk about it either.

I love the old Playgirl magazines from the 1970s and very early 1980s. I found a great site that has lots of the Playgirl spreads. Jim Brown is on there too.....

NOT SAFE FOR WORK WARNING

www.blackdogue.net

Timmy84 said:

vainandy said:

I definately consider a beautiful woman's body like art and I have images of nude women on nightstands and things as art because they are beautiful. But a woman's body to me, as beautiful as it may be, is no different than a beautiful painting, sculpture, a unique piece of artistic looking furniture, etc. It's beautiful to look at but that's all. It doesn't turn me on whatsoever. I mean a pussy to me ain't nothing but a slit, crack, or a hole. I honestly don't see how anyone could be turned on by one. But then again, straight people can't understand our attraction to the same sex, well, it works both ways because I sure as hell can't understand their attraction to the opposite sex. A dick is an actual thing, a shaft, a head, balls, pubic hair. I can't explain it, it's an actual thing rather than just a crack or a hole.

Lemme ask you a quick question... the other week I think you said you hated getting fucked (or fucking someone) or something but you like sucking dick. I guess you're turned off by the ass in general? lol

I don't get fucked because I see it as pain. Everyone says once it gets broken in, it's not painful anymore but why should I go through any pain whatsoever so someone else can get pleasure? Plus I see it as pointless because my dick is what cums, not my ass. I've never understood why anyone would want to get fucked because your ass doesn't cum. Maybe they want to feel like a woman, hell, I don't know. But I'm a man and have no desire to be a woman or even play a female role.

I don't fuck either because ass turns me off. I mean, it's a shit hole. I did let somebody ride me once for about a minute or two years ago when I was drunk out of my skull. It didn't do anything for me whatsoever plus it hurt my dick because his ass was so tight. Plus when you think about it, it kinda defeats the purpose of being gay. I mean, if I'm gonna stick something that doesn't even turn me on just for the sake of sticking a hole, I might as well stick a pussy.

I'm strictly oral, giving and getting.

.

.

.

[Edited 2/20/11 16:29pm]

PDogz said:

SUPRMAN said:

I remember going to the corner store and checking out Playgirl because Jim Brown was in it. I was in the third grade I think. He turned me on. It scared me that I couldn't get his naked body out of my head. Of course, I couldn't talk about it either.

I remember the Jim Brown layout (actually have the .jpg's from it). I always admired how casual he was about being nude in a magazine. Here was this super masculine, super famous Black man, just laying it out there.

Father MC posed also. He's got a big ole sexy hairy black dick. His pictures were on the internet for a while but now they've disappeared completely.

vainandy said:

SUPRMAN said:

My father had a Playboy collection that I remember was in the basement until he came and got them or my mother threw them out. Spending a summer with my father I found his stash. I already knew I preferred guys so they didn't do anything for me. I remember going to the corner store and checking out Playgirl because Jim Brown was in it. I was in the third grade I think. He turned me on. It scared me that I couldn't get his naked body out of my head. Of course, I couldn't talk about it either.

I love the old Playgirl magazines from the 1970s and very early 1980s. I found a great site that has lots of the Playgirl spreads. Jim Brown is on there too.....

NOT SAFE FOR WORK WARNING

www.blackdogue.net

Great link, very extensive.

vainandy said:

Timmy84 said:

Lemme ask you a quick question... the other week I think you said you hated getting fucked (or fucking someone) or something but you like sucking dick. I guess you're turned off by the ass in general? lol

I don't get fucked because I see it as pain. Everyone says once it gets broken in, it's not painful anymore but why should I go through any pain whatsoever so someone else can get pleasure? Plus I see it as pointless because my dick is what cums, not my ass. I've never understood why anyone would want to get fucked because your ass doesn't cum. Maybe they want to feel like a woman, hell, I don't know. But I'm a man and have no desire to be a woman or even play a female role.

I don't fuck either because ass turns me off. I mean, it's a shit hole. I did let somebody ride me once for about a minute or two years ago when I was drunk out of my skull. It didn't do anything for me whatsoever plus it hurt my dick because his ass was so tight. Plus when you think about it, it kinda defeats the purpose of being gay. I mean, if I'm gonna stick something that doesn't even turn me on just for the sake of sticking a hole, I might as well stick a pussy.

I'm strictly oral, giving and getting.

vainandy said:

PDogz said:

I remember the Jim Brown layout (actually have the .jpg's from it). I always admired how casual he was about being nude in a magazine. Here was this super masculine, super famous Black man, just laying it out there.

Father MC posed also. He's got a big ole sexy hairy black dick. His pictures were on the internet for a while but now they've disappeared completely.

I remember seeing those pics... a lot. Those things got re-posted so many times they probably vanished into cyber-dust, lol.

vainandy said:

Timmy84 said:

Lemme ask you a quick question... the other week I think you said you hated getting fucked (or fucking someone) or something but you like sucking dick. I guess you're turned off by the ass in general? lol

I don't get fucked because I see it as pain. Everyone says once it gets broken in, it's not painful anymore but why should I go through any pain whatsoever so someone else can get pleasure? Plus I see it as pointless because my dick is what cums, not my ass. I've never understood why anyone would want to get fucked because your ass doesn't cum. Maybe they want to feel like a woman, hell, I don't know. But I'm a man and have no desire to be a woman or even play a female role.

I don't fuck either because ass turns me off. I mean, it's a shit hole. I did let somebody ride me once for about a minute or two years ago when I was drunk out of my skull. It didn't do anything for me whatsoever plus it hurt my dick because his ass was so tight. Plus when you think about it, it kinda defeats the purpose of being gay. I mean, if I'm gonna stick something that doesn't even turn me on just for the sake of sticking a hole, I might as well stick a pussy.

I'm strictly oral, giving and getting.

.

.

.

[Edited 2/20/11 16:29pm]