I’m with Erin. If a guy hasn’t called after 2 days he’s either not into you or playing games and I wouldn’t waste my time with either.

I don’t know about the whole bringing up he’s a millionaire thing on a first date. If a guy did that with me I’d think he was a bit of a jackass, trying to impress me with money. I’d find it a huge turnoff.

CarrieMpls said:

I’m with Erin. If a guy hasn’t called after 2 days he’s either not into you or playing games and I wouldn’t waste my time with either.

I don’t know about the whole bringing up he’s a millionaire thing on a first date. If a guy did that with me I’d think he was a bit of a jackass, trying to impress me with money. I’d find it a huge turnoff.

That too.

Also, if you were having dinner with someone you'd just met and been involved in litigation with would you disclose your net worth?

babynoz said:

CarrieMpls said:

I’m with Erin. If a guy hasn’t called after 2 days he’s either not into you or playing games and I wouldn’t waste my time with either.

I don’t know about the whole bringing up he’s a millionaire thing on a first date. If a guy did that with me I’d think he was a bit of a jackass, trying to impress me with money. I’d find it a huge turnoff.

That too.

Also, if you were having dinner with someone you'd just met and been involved in litigation with would you disclose your net worth?

Excellent point!

So, I called him, did not leave a message.

He called me back, when I was on the phone with girlfriend. He left me no message.

I called him back, he was on the phone. Left no message.

And I'm angry with myself for posting here, while I should have been doing my admin and some cleaning.

He might be playing games, you might be.

If you're really interested chase him and find out where yous stand. Take it from there.
If you're not interested move along.
What's the fuss?

Ok

The guy you're suing for limiting your privacy,

can't sell his place because of your lawsuit,

ask you out on a date,

tells you how wonderful being with you is,

wants to sleep with you, but you say no

even though you found him charming,

now he doesn't call you back,

he's rich, probably self-made, meaning financially savvy?

So?

*i don't get it* *toddles out*

morningsong said:

Ok

The guy you're suing for limiting your privacy,

can't sell his place because of your lawsuit,

ask you out on a date,

tells you how wonderful being with you is,

wants to sleep with you, but you say no

even though you found him charming,

now he doesn't call you back,

he's rich, probably self-made, meaning financially savvy?

So?

*i don't get it* *toddles out*

We called today an we're meeting up monday in the afternoon. To proceed with the balcony discussion.

So:

I have to decide whether I'll just think about my own interest, both our interests, and my romantic involvement? It's powerplay while I'm smitten. Bad combination. My options:

1. Don't date him. Get a little less privacy and a good sum of money. Then I go to court this week to start lawsuit against him, get a court order to prefend him from selling the appartment. I'll settle for minimal 50.000 euro's and a privacy solution that I'm okay with.

He will get his lawyers involved and we will be battling the next few years in court. Or he will pay me the 50.000 and show me he can take a loss as a gentleman. (My father his advise)

If he still wants to date me after that (at least 3 years from now), start dating. Not one minute before the court settlement.

2. Get him to pay for things I need, improvements to my house, drivers license. He save his face because he will not give me dough, I will gain what I want. Next to that get him to pay me wages for two days a week, work for his company and get paid by bonus. (my brother his advise, he knows I love that kind of work and will make good money for myself and him.) And just get pregnant and have children together.

3. Don't date him ever. He's playing with your feelings, just to save himself money. And because he wants to show you of at parties. Be very carefull with man. Money isn't enough, he probably also wants you as his beautiful intellectual trophywife. Listen to your father, he thinks about your interest. This man will not have power over you financially and not socially because you have great friends. When you open your hart to him, he'll try to have power over you by emotional manipulating you. He'll put you down and get you a bad self image, to prefend you from leaving him. (my mother her advise)

He asked you out to try to mollify you. He's not interested in you.

Genesia said:

He asked you out to try to mollify you. He's not interested in you.

That's what my dad says.

If that's true it would break my heart. I just don't want that to be true. I just don't want a man to be so ruthless that he will play with my heart, because he wants money/ trophy. I want to believe he meant it. I want to think men are capable of being honest and true.

dJJ said:

Genesia said:

He asked you out to try to mollify you. He's not interested in you.

That's what my dad says.

If that's true it would break my heart. I just don't want that to be true. I just don't want a man to be so ruthless that he will play with my heart, because he wants money/ trophy. I want to believe he meant it. I want to think men are capable of being honest and true.

How did he "play with [your] heart?" You talked to him in person once.

You need to learn to manage your expectations.

Genesia said:

dJJ said:

That's what my dad says.

If that's true it would break my heart. I just don't want that to be true. I just don't want a man to be so ruthless that he will play with my heart, because he wants money/ trophy. I want to believe he meant it. I want to think men are capable of being honest and true.

How did he "play with [your] heart?" You talked to him in person once.

You need to learn to manage your expectations.

I'll try. See what I can learn from all this.

dJJ said:

Genesia said:

He asked you out to try to mollify you. He's not interested in you.

That's what my dad says.

If that's true it would break my heart. I just don't want that to be true. I just don't want a man to be so ruthless that he will play with my heart, because he wants money/ trophy. I want to believe he meant it. I want to think men are capable of being honest and true.

Whoa. You went on 1 date. Ease up. Slow down.

Just to be clear:

I'm not talking about breaking my hart for not wanting to be with me, or any other romantic meaning. That would not break my hart. I would be okay with that.

I mean breaking my hart for being shrude and playing out the money/balcony/court game! Him behaving in a way that evokes my romantic emotions, so I won't think clear anymore and will not go to court. And him not being interested in me at all, however just pretending, so he can win our business issue.

[Edited 2/20/11 6:15am]

Having trouble posting

[Edited 2/20/11 6:16am]

Doubleposted

babynoz said:

I'm missing something. Did the owner put in a balcony as an addition on the home or was a new apt bldg with balconies constructed next to your place?

Anyway, it sounds to me like he was engaging you in order to prevent you from suing him again.

Yup. That's exactly what it sounds like...

...I'm still trying to figure out what on earth would possess you to become intimately involved with someone you're in the middle of litigation with

...and second, why are you googling this person...and making a mental note of whether he's rich or not....

Darlin' it sounds like you need to get you mind right and figure out what are your end goals in this situation and stay focused on reaching them. Where does it make sense that what started as a lawsuit ended up with the two of you in bed? Wise up. I don't think he's trying to get 'boo-ed up' with you.

Genesia said:

dJJ said:

That's what my dad says.

If that's true it would break my heart. I just don't want that to be true. I just don't want a man to be so ruthless that he will play with my heart, because he wants money/ trophy. I want to believe he meant it. I want to think men are capable of being honest and true.

How did he "play with [your] heart?" You talked to him in person once.

You need to learn to manage your expectations.

and get your priorities in order while you're at it.

I really don't know

dJJ said:

Just to be clear:

I'm not talking about breaking my hart for not wanting to be with me, or any other romantic meaning. That would not break my hart. I would be okay with that.

I mean breaking my hart for being shrude and playing out the money/balcony/court game! Him behaving in a way that evokes my romantic emotions, so I won't think clear anymore and will not go to court. And him not being interested in me at all, however just pretending, so he can win our business issue.

[Edited 2/20/11 6:15am]

Whoa, whoa, whoa...

Take some responsibility for your own actions and how you helped to bring this about, Missy. I hate to sound hard, but no one held a gun to your head to go on a date with this man. I'm just guessing, but I'm going to go ahead and take the chance of saying that alot of us are sitting here wondering how you didn't have the sense to know that you needed boundaries in this situation. You are in the middle of a legal fight with this man, this is not the person that you should be making moves on or vice versa; how could you not know that? If you're suing someone, and then they suddenly turn around in the middle of your legal battle and try to cozy up next to you, a light should have gone off in your head. Rather than sit here saying "Whoa is me...why didn't he do this, why doesn't he do that??", you need to check your light bulb and examine how you got yourself into this situation, then prepare a cohesive, rational plan to get out of it.

I got into it because I really liked him when I met him. Sure, money wasn´t my priority at that moment. Two days later I woke up, realizing I might have been naive. Having all these scenario´s going through my head. Now I´ll just see how it goes when we meet monday. I´ll hear what he´s thinking about it and what our options are.

dJJ said:

morningsong said:

Ok

The guy you're suing for limiting your privacy,

can't sell his place because of your lawsuit,

ask you out on a date,

tells you how wonderful being with you is,

wants to sleep with you, but you say no

even though you found him charming,

now he doesn't call you back,

he's rich, probably self-made, meaning financially savvy?

So?

*i don't get it* *toddles out*

We called today an we're meeting up monday in the afternoon. To proceed with the balcony discussion.

So:

I have to decide whether I'll just think about my own interest, both our interests, and my romantic involvement? It's powerplay while I'm smitten. Bad combination. My options:

1. Don't date him. Get a little less privacy and a good sum of money. Then I go to court this week to start lawsuit against him, get a court order to prefend him from selling the appartment. I'll settle for minimal 50.000 euro's and a privacy solution that I'm okay with.

He will get his lawyers involved and we will be battling the next few years in court. Or he will pay me the 50.000 and show me he can take a loss as a gentleman. (My father his advise)

If he still wants to date me after that (at least 3 years from now), start dating. Not one minute before the court settlement.

2. Get him to pay for things I need, improvements to my house, drivers license. He save his face because he will not give me dough, I will gain what I want. Next to that get him to pay me wages for two days a week, work for his company and get paid by bonus. (my brother his advise, he knows I love that kind of work and will make good money for myself and him.) And just get pregnant and have children together.

3. Don't date him ever. He's playing with your feelings, just to save himself money. And because he wants to show you of at parties. Be very carefull with man. Money isn't enough, he probably also wants you as his beautiful intellectual trophywife. Listen to your father, he thinks about your interest. This man will not have power over you financially and not socially because you have great friends. When you open your hart to him, he'll try to have power over you by emotional manipulating you. He'll put you down and get you a bad self image, to prefend you from leaving him. (my mother her advise)

This is one of the weirdest and scariest posts I've ever read.

It´s a pretty weird situation. Especially because we discussed the scenario´s of me going to court and all that on our first date. It was the weirdest date ever.

Ottensen said:

dJJ said:

Just to be clear:

I'm not talking about breaking my hart for not wanting to be with me, or any other romantic meaning. That would not break my hart. I would be okay with that.

I mean breaking my hart for being shrude and playing out the money/balcony/court game! Him behaving in a way that evokes my romantic emotions, so I won't think clear anymore and will not go to court. And him not being interested in me at all, however just pretending, so he can win our business issue.

[Edited 2/20/11 6:15am]

Whoa, whoa, whoa...

Take some responsibility for your own actions and how you helped to bring this about, Missy. I hate to sound hard, but no one held a gun to your head to go on a date with this man. I'm just guessing, but I'm going to go ahead and take the chance of saying that alot of us are sitting here wondering how you didn't have the sense to know that you needed boundaries in this situation. You are in the middle of a legal fight with this man, this is not the person that you should be making moves on or vice versa; how could you not know that? If you're suing someone, and then they suddenly turn around in the middle of your legal battle and try to cozy up next to you, a light should have gone off in your head. Rather than sit here saying "Whoa is me...why didn't he do this, why doesn't he do that??", you need to check your light bulb and examine how you got yourself into this situation, then prepare a cohesive, rational plan to get out of it.

Spot on.

dJJ said:

It´s a pretty weird situation. Especially because we discussed the scenario´s of me going to court and all that on our first date. It was the weirdest date ever.

Sounds like you're a tad confused. You didn't go on a date, you met to discuss your lawsuit.

Lawd his lawer probably tore your number UP to little pieces and shamed him good.
WTH you doin goin on dates with people you sueing??

johnart said:

Lawd his lawer probably tore your number UP to little pieces and shamed him good.
WTH you doin goin on dates with people you sueing??

It wasn't a date. It was a meeting to discuss how to proceed for a legal settlement between them, with the plaintiff somehow ending up in the defendant's bed.

Exactly.

You'r all right.

Today we'r going to inspect the view from the balcony (last time he forget to bring the keys) and talk about what our laywers and our don padres said.

His dad probably told him that I was hitting on him because of his money and my father said he is hitting on my because he tries to sooth me not to sue him.

We both have Don Padres, we both come from families with a histiry of property development.

I'll stay focused. I promise. I'm not going to take a loss because the man got me in bed. Really.

It's just a lot more fun discussing the issue over a romantic diner than with all the laywers and family present.

dJJ said:

Exactly.

You'r all right.

Today we'r going to inspect the view from the balcony (last time he forget to bring the keys) and talk about what our laywers and our don padres said.

His dad probably told him that I was hitting on him because of his money and my father said he is hitting on my because he tries to sooth me not to sue him.

We both have Don Padres, we both come from families with a histiry of property development.

I'll stay focused. I promise. I'm not going to take a loss because the man got me in bed. Really.

It's just a lot more fun discussing the issue over a romantic diner than with all the laywers and family present.

brace yourself for complications.

Sounds like each is trying to play the other, a match made in heaven. Happy trails to both of them.