So when I was 5 years old my family moved from Treasure Island (San Fran, CA) to San Diego. When we moved my mom left behind her best friend "Jane" but about a year later Jane moved down to San Diego as well. She lived with us for a few months before she got her own place. She worked the graveyard shift for the phone company so she kind of just shared my room since I was never there in the day when she slept. My 6-7 year old bedtime was 8:30, just before she would get ready for work. Every single night she'd come in the room from the shower with her towel on. The towel came off and was wrapped around her wet head of hair as she paraded around in front of me stark naked. And she took her sweet fucking time. She put her makeup on naked, brushed her hair out, ironed her clothes, brushed her pubic hair...all the while knowing I was watching in awe. Several times we mad eye contact in the mirror and she would smile or look away or whisper "Go to sleep." Of course I was absolutely in love with her but never said a word to her or anyone else. The way I lookd at it, my mom paraded around naked in front of me all the time (hell, she still does!) and Jane was like my mom to me...she and my mom were friends before I was even born, you know? I saw nothing wrong with what she was doing, but I thought/knew I was dirty. I lusted after her for years...when she got her own place I constantly spent the night so I could "listen to her records" but I really wanted to be there just to see her naked. She was always naked in front of me, took showers with me and "washed" me when I spent the night, slept naked in the bed with me. This went on all the way up until I was in the eighth grade, 13/14 years old. Well, the showers and sleeping together stopped much earlier than that, but not the nakedness. And again, I never said a word to anyone...even when she sat upside down in a recliner with nothing but a night shirt on. The night shirt dropped and her bush is right there, maybe 4 feet away from my frigging face. By that time I was ready to fuck her but never tried out of fear of rejection/her telling my mom. But I was so fucking hot for her.

I seriously thought she did nothing wrong (and I still kind of think it was a "mom" thing) until I told my wife the story about a year after we started dating. Now I met my wife in the ninth grade but she wouldnt give me the time of day because I was a "whore" to her. She really liked me and told me so, but refused to give in to me. We became really good friends thru high school though and she finally let me take her on a date about 6 months after we graduated. When I told her the story she lost her mind telling me that Jane abused me, etc. "Now it make sense....thats why you started fucking at such a young age! That's why you were such a whore! You poor thing!" I got pissed at her for insinuating that Jane abused me and that I had issues but as she started to break it down, she started to make sense. I could not deny the fact that Jane knew I was enamored with her and knew what she was doing...hell, she was in her late 20s early 30s when this shit started. Then my wife asked me "Was she ever naked like that when your brothers were around?" I thought about it and no, she wasnt! I still defended her since my brothers were 5 and 6 years older than me...maybe she didnt have that "mom" relationship with them when they were babies like she did with me. Maybe thats why she wasnt as comfortable around them? "You're making excuses for her because you liked it!" says my wife. Really pissed me off so I told her what I thought was the real molestation that happened to me...

A cousin's cousin (no blood relation to me) used to visit my cousin's family every summer. We knew each other from babies and one day when I was 8, "Michelle" (she was 13) took me in my cousin's room and started fooling with me. I dont remember how the hell it happened but I ended up on top of her...I dont remember if I had a hard on but she taught me how to grind. She made me kiss her...we didnt french, she just told me to put my lips on hers and dont take them off until she tells me. I will never forget getting up...she was wearing red cutoff sweat shorts and had dripped thru. Plain as day she was dripping wet. I said "Ew...you peed on yourself!" She told me not to tell anyone and I didnt...I thought she was just embarassed about peeing her pants and didnt want anyone to know.

My wife claimed (and still does to this day) that the Michelle situation was just kids fooling around...Jane on the other hand molested me. I kinda see it, but then I dont. I never really saw either situation as a big deal until my wife started convincing me otherwise. Now, at 37 and looking back over life, these two situations explain a lot to me.

Dont know why I decided to put this all out there...just been thinking a lot about it.

Thoughts please...

StonedImmaculate said:

'Is This Child Molestation?'

She was just naked. No contact. You saw what you'd had seen on the beach. It is not child molestation.

PANDURITO said:

StonedImmaculate said:

'Is This Child Molestation?'

She was just naked. No contact. You saw what you'd had seen on the beach. It is not child molestation.

Sleeping in bed naked with him though?

Not cool.

It's a very gray area. It's easy to write it off as that, but if she was like a mom genuinely on her part, then I don't think it is, but if she figured out how you felt about her and kept doing that, it is very weird and pedophilia.

alphastreet said:

It's a very gray area. It's easy to write it off as that, but if she was like a mom genuinely on her part, then I don't think it is, but if she figured out how you felt about her and kept doing that, it is very weird and pedophilia.

Like I said, we never talked about it but I know she knew. She would see me staring at her constantly, even as I got older. Made no attempt to cover up. She would smile and flip her hair, or just look away knowing that I saw her see me staring at her tits, whatever.

I guess you cant call it molestation...what do you call it though?

StonedImmaculate said:

alphastreet said:

It's a very gray area. It's easy to write it off as that, but if she was like a mom genuinely on her part, then I don't think it is, but if she figured out how you felt about her and kept doing that, it is very weird and pedophilia.

Like I said, we never talked about it but I know she knew. She would see me staring at her constantly, even as I got older. Made no attempt to cover up. She would smile and flip her hair, or just look away knowing that I saw her see me staring at her tits, whatever.

I guess you cant call it molestation...what do you call it though?

Ok now it's more clear to me, she obviously seduced you and did those things. Subjecting a minor to those things and doing it on purpose is pedophilia. If she was giving you a shower to take care of you and sleeping with you without being aware of how you felt, it's different. If she knew you were in love with her like that, she should have been a responsible adult and shared concerns with your mom or address things with you at an age appropriate manner...and she should have not put herself in a vulnerable position, cause if you were vindictive and let her disappoint you, you could have easily gotten her in trouble.

[Edited 2/18/11 1:42am]

Sounds like molestation to me.

Yep

Washing you, sleeping naked in the bed with you, letting you stare at her naked body....

you were not HER child and you didn't see her as a "mom" if you lusted after her. Children do not LUST after their mothers no matter how many times they see their mother's bodies.

At the very least it was innapropiate behavior to be around someone else's child and she was at fault for being the adult in the situation.

If you were older she would have made a move on you IMHO, it seems like you got her off by the attention you paid her. She knew it. She thrived off of the sexual energy, so yes your innocence was taken from you in a sense.

Flip that.... what if you were a girl and she was a man....

I would check with police and see if Jane can be charged. Jane is a pedo.

IMO some women that are insecure tend to flirt with boys too much.

I had a few women I know flirt with my sons and I thought it was downright creepy. Of course they denied any wrong doping, kept both heffas away from my sons.

Lines are more clearly defined with men regarding flirtations with little girls than it is vice versa. Women are given too much room to say things and do things to little boys, it sexualizes them too much, but if a man did the same thing to a little girl there would be an immediate uproar.

luv4u said:

I don't think you were molested because she never fooled with you but she definately was making the situation for you to make a move on her, which you never did. If you did make a move and she let you fool with her, then it would have been molestation because an adult that has sex with a minor, even if the minor wanted it, is still considered rape. She definately wanted you to make a move though.

vainandy said:

I don't think you were molested because she never fooled with you but she definately was making the situation for you to make a move on her, which you never did. If you did make a move and she let you fool with her, then it would have been molestation because an adult that has sex with a minor, even if the minor wanted it, is still considered rape. She definately wanted you to make a move though.

Honest question, because I don't understand....

would you feel the same way if roles were reversed and it was a grown sexy man that slept with and washed a little girl who was the child of his best friend? Walked around dick swinging.. liking the way the little girl looked at him....

Would it be different to you or the same?

question posed to all the men/women who agree with vainandy.... this is a very provacative thread BTW

[Edited 2/18/11 6:28am]

Indecent Exposure

Either way, since it happened so long ago the statute of limitations has probably run out. So if it was a crime, she got away with it.

I don’t know about the definition of “molestation” but that’s just semantics. I think most would agree what happened was at the least inappropriate and at the most, just plain wrong. There was clear sexualization (if I can make that a word) with someone too young to understand what was happening.

Paintedlady’s got it spot on. If it were a man parading around nude in front of a little girl, all the way up until she was 13-14 years old no less, you can bet his ass would be in jail if anyone found out.

whoa...def weird INAPPROPRIATE behavior. but..you may have to elaborate on the "washed" you part...I mean...did she just wash? or what?

paintedlady brings up a GREAT point...if the roles were reversed and the adult was a male and the child was a female, I don't think we'd all be like..oh it's ok.

hmm...I dunno. I have 2 small sons and I DO NOT let them see me nakid. some may, but for me, I just don't feel right being naked around my children...don't see ANY need for it.

I wonder what your mom would think if you told her this?

I can see the double standard but me being the mother of 3 sons this is something that I would not find appropriate. I would pretty much beat her ass. Never mind the police.

StonedImmaculate said:

So when I was 5 years old my family moved from Treasure Island (San Fran, CA) to San Diego. When we moved my mom left behind her best friend "Jane" but about a year later Jane moved down to San Diego as well. She lived with us for a few months before she got her own place. She worked the graveyard shift for the phone company so she kind of just shared my room since I was never there in the day when she slept. My 6-7 year old bedtime was 8:30, just before she would get ready for work. Every single night she'd come in the room from the shower with her towel on. The towel came off and was wrapped around her wet head of hair as she paraded around in front of me stark naked. And she took her sweet fucking time. She put her makeup on naked, brushed her hair out, ironed her clothes, brushed her pubic hair...all the while knowing I was watching in awe. Several times we mad eye contact in the mirror and she would smile or look away or whisper "Go to sleep." Of course I was absolutely in love with her but never said a word to her or anyone else. The way I lookd at it, my mom paraded around naked in front of me all the time (hell, she still does!) and Jane was like my mom to me...she and my mom were friends before I was even born, you know? I saw nothing wrong with what she was doing, but I thought/knew I was dirty. I lusted after her for years...when she got her own place I constantly spent the night so I could "listen to her records" but I really wanted to be there just to see her naked. She was always naked in front of me, took showers with me and "washed" me when I spent the night, slept naked in the bed with me. This went on all the way up until I was in the eighth grade, 13/14 years old. Well, the showers and sleeping together stopped much earlier than that, but not the nakedness. And again, I never said a word to anyone...even when she sat upside down in a recliner with nothing but a night shirt on. The night shirt dropped and her bush is right there, maybe 4 feet away from my frigging face. By that time I was ready to fuck her but never tried out of fear of rejection/her telling my mom. But I was so fucking hot for her.

I seriously thought she did nothing wrong (and I still kind of think it was a "mom" thing) until I told my wife the story about a year after we started dating. Now I met my wife in the ninth grade but she wouldnt give me the time of day because I was a "whore" to her. She really liked me and told me so, but refused to give in to me. We became really good friends thru high school though and she finally let me take her on a date about 6 months after we graduated. When I told her the story she lost her mind telling me that Jane abused me, etc. "Now it make sense....thats why you started fucking at such a young age! That's why you were such a whore! You poor thing!" I got pissed at her for insinuating that Jane abused me and that I had issues but as she started to break it down, she started to make sense. I could not deny the fact that Jane knew I was enamored with her and knew what she was doing...hell, she was in her late 20s early 30s when this shit started. Then my wife asked me "Was she ever naked like that when your brothers were around?" I thought about it and no, she wasnt! I still defended her since my brothers were 5 and 6 years older than me...maybe she didnt have that "mom" relationship with them when they were babies like she did with me. Maybe thats why she wasnt as comfortable around them? "You're making excuses for her because you liked it!" says my wife. Really pissed me off so I told her what I thought was the real molestation that happened to me...

A cousin's cousin (no blood relation to me) used to visit my cousin's family every summer. We knew each other from babies and one day when I was 8, "Michelle" (she was 13) took me in my cousin's room and started fooling with me. I dont remember how the hell it happened but I ended up on top of her...I dont remember if I had a hard on but she taught me how to grind. She made me kiss her...we didnt french, she just told me to put my lips on hers and dont take them off until she tells me. I will never forget getting up...she was wearing red cutoff sweat shorts and had dripped thru. Plain as day she was dripping wet. I said "Ew...you peed on yourself!" She told me not to tell anyone and I didnt...I thought she was just embarassed about peeing her pants and didnt want anyone to know.

My wife claimed (and still does to this day) that the Michelle situation was just kids fooling around...Jane on the other hand molested me. I kinda see it, but then I dont. I never really saw either situation as a big deal until my wife started convincing me otherwise. Now, at 37 and looking back over life, these two situations explain a lot to me.

Dont know why I decided to put this all out there...just been thinking a lot about it.

Thoughts please...

of this whole story...you're wondering about michelle, and jane..........but not your mom..?

what????

what she did was 100% wrong!

I wouldn't say molestation, I'd say she messed with your head

The org and your wife have spoken. What happened 30 years ago!!! was molestation.

It's a pity you didn't know until now because you've missed 30 years of misery and trauma.

My advice, forget about it. Don't pay attention to those wanting to see more than it was. We're talking 1980, 1981? Come on! Don't you think YOU'd know had you been abused/molested?

Are you a happy man now? That's all that matters

don't go to the cops with it, a 3rd or 4th party will only confuse things further

Confront her gently, learn what you can and act on what you learn.

If you hook up with her secretly who knows what'll come of it.
It was a sexual encounter but no harm came of it.

Just because you weren't in control doesn't mean you were abused.

Reminds me a bit of prince's victim songs "darling nicki" and "sister". It seems Prince fans love the stories but anything real and it's "Err, oh call the police... my perosnal space." lol

also reminds me of when my french teacher flirted with me as I was a chronically shy teenager.

No harm done just a fond memory.

When was the last time you saw Jane? That would be awkward if you saw her nowadays...anyway... it was kinda weird of her to walk around and stuff naked.. it's funny buisness

heybaby said:

I can see the double standard but me being the mother of 3 sons this is something that I would not find appropriate. I would pretty much beat her ass. Never mind the police.

Agree ~

Ottensen said:

PANDURITO said:

She was just naked. No contact. You saw what you'd had seen on the beach. It is not child molestation.

Sleeping in bed naked with him though?

Not cool.

And showering with him, and putting her bush in his face and doing that crap up until he was in his pre-teens! It's sexual abuse and psychological manipulation. Bitch knew what she was doing. His cousin definitely molested him. This is why child abuse is so prevalent and pervasive in many societies...people don't take these kinds of actions seriously, especially when the victim is male. Had he been female and the mom's friend male...then oh yeah it would be child abuse. There is this mindset that "oh they will do it anyway so why not break them in young." Absolutely disgusting.

His mom's friend and his cousin have probably abused others in the same way. Horrible cycle that just continues and continues.

Double standards are a bitch.