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Do you think having siblings are beneficial to your upbringing?

How many siblings do you have?

Do you feel there is a difference whether they are step, half, or full-blooded siblings?

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I grew up in a family of 8 children, me being the youngest. 20 years separates me from my oldest sibling, and 7 from the youngest.

Lots of good times and bad. I do see however, after the loss of my father, how important it is to me to know that there are others in the world that share my memories. It actually comforts me.

Anyone else feel this way?

I have 3 sisters and I don't have any brothers which I suppose helped shape me in some manner, but I'm not exactly sure how. I am the oldest at 28 and my youngest sister is 15.

I don't much care for my two youngest sisters so...



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[This message was edited Wed Feb 5 7:54:43 PST 2003 by lovemachine]

lovemachine, do you think you play an important role as the oldest?

i think having brothers or sisters, older or younger, teaches you about sharing, argueing, understanding, and compassion. I never knew how much until I had two friends that were only children. These children with no siblings, seem to be more dependant on others, and afraid. Sharing was not a factor at home, because there was no one to share with. Alone growing up, all the toys were theirs, all the attention was theirs until they hit school. My sister and I had to share, play together, interact with each other daily. Some things you tell your brother/sister that you don't tell ANYONE else. Good therapy. Some was good and some not so good. As an adult I am glad to have had all of those experiences. We also get along much better as adults than we did as children. I have always wanted to be a big brother to a child with no siblings, i think its very important.

You brought up a great point, jthad1129.

I am able to reflect, and speak to my siblings about things nobody else would understand. It is definately good therapy.

I am the only child from my parents. I am 28. Although, i do have 2 brothers and a sister. My brothers are 19 and 15 years old...and we basically grew up in together..until i was 17 and moved out. my brothers and i have the same mother..but different fathers. I also have a sister whos 11..we have the same same father, but different mothers. i have never looked any of them as 1/2 or step or whatever... to me they are my brothers and my sister Al 4 of us have been thru ALOT of shit growing up...for my brothers and i...it was beneficial at the time having each other (since my mom was out of the picture) but i moved out and then they kinna didnt need me anymore
my response to this thread could go on and on...so imm stop...
i love my bros and my sister !!!

violett said:

thats good to hear. no step this and step that, they needed love too and gave it

Why stop!

violett, I didn't get into this earlier, but since you brought it up...

I am the only child from my parents too.

Anyways, my father has 3 biological children, me - a son and a daughter. My mother has 6 biological children, me - 2 sons and 4 daughters...make sense?

I never look at them this way, but had to deal with it many times growing up, as most had different last names. No different in love, that's for sure.

Thanks!

jthad1129 said:

Well... I am an only child!

And while I agree that having brothers and sisters can definitely help in ones learning about the things you just mentioned jthad1129... you can learn those things from friends too...

Growing up I always thought it would be nice to have a brother or sister, but I never really felt alone... I was surrounded with friends from as long as I remember... One of my best friends today (Shaun) was like a brother to me, I've known him all my life, and we spent nearly everyday together as children, and did all the things brothers and sisters do... And as I said, my childhood was filled with friends and plenty of cousins! Therefore I never felt isolated or lacking in anything just because I never had siblings... And I definitely had no problems with sharing...

I really think it is a false conception that only children seem to be more dependent on others, in fact... many grow up to be quite the opposite!

Everyone is different, it just depends on the circumstances... you can't assume that just because someone is an only child that they're automatically going to be lacking in independence/compassion/understanding/sharing... it depends on their nature and their circumstances growing up... the same can be said of children who grow up with siblings... we all have different experiences who shape who we are today, and having siblings or not is just one part of it...

I must say though, now that I am older... I feel what you're saying LaV, I definitely crave that sibling bond sometimes... I think only children can sometimes tend to
glamorize what having a sibling is like (I know I have)... and of course, not everyone has a wonderful experience with having brothers or sisters...

However I definitely wish I could have a brother or sister who grew up with me so that I could talk to someone who lived the experiences with my parents etc, now that I'm older I do feel that is an aspect I am missing out on... but hey... you can't have everything eh?!

Such is life... 2the9s however kindly adopted me as his sister... erm... that's REALLY going to mess me up though, isn't it?!

*giggle*

Just remember... being an only child isn't a disability, unless you let it be.

Now now everyone... play nice with the only children

My sister used to be a big Prince fan too.strangely she lost interest in the 90's.Only i have been cursed to a life of eternal torment.

Though i'm not jealous.I love her loads!

Diva said:

I hope you didn't take it the wrong way, if so i am sincerely sorry. My two best friends growing up were both only children. I always thought they had it great! better than me. It was always quiet at their house, they always got the attention, had their own room etc. it was just different, not any better or any worse.

there is a part of me that considers myself an only child as well. because i was until i was 10... (huge age gaps between siblings)
i am extrememly independant...but many things dictate why that is...

Diva said:

With each sibling comes a unique person, each with their own character and traits...

Do not glamorize!

It's also very hard on you too. Sibling rivalries are just horrible. As much as I love them all, it's really been nice to be at some distance - it can be like a soap opera!

By the time I turned 12, they had all left...so I too spent a great deal of time as an only child. I loved that part too, perhaps it gave balance.



Thanks for sharing!

jthad1129 said:

No need to apologize, I know where you were coming from

Being an only child definitely has it's advantages and disadvantages... just like having siblings has it's pro's and con's... there's always a trade off somewhere eh?!

It would be wonderful to have siblings though... just wasn't meant to be I guess...

Oh well... more toys for me

I'm sure it must. I'm an only child. I have often wished I had brothers and sisters. I think you are very fortunate

Berry said:

I lived about half with, and half without.

The time spent with my siblings was mostly about fighting and being told how to get along with others in a "team environment"

The time when I had all the time alone with my parents, were extremely special too. I got to know them as people, and the parenting part seemed minimal. This helped me to understand all the hardships they had to go through. I believe this is what has allowed me to deal with all the hills and valleys I have traveled so far.

Berry

I love coming from a large family. There were 3 boys, and 6 girls.

We kind of grew up in 3's...the 3 older, then me and my 2 brothers, and then the 3 younger kids.

We shared so much life, so much love. We helped each other when things were tough. We laughed when things were funny...

The holidays were the best, not material. Plain, simple.

And as we grew up, 2 of my brothers died (they shared my threesome), so it was very hard on me and my family..and as time has passed we have healed but love them forever more.

And we still have the best of times..

i gotta odd situation when it comes 2 my siblings:

i have several siblings, but we all don't have the same fathers/mothers and such...

from my birth-mom, i'm the youngest of 3 (my brother and sister are like 40-somethin)...from my step-mom i have 2 sisters (one's about 2 turn 8 in a month or so and the other's one's 6)...

i dunno much about my two oldest siblings, cuz i didn't grow up with them...i wuz raised as an only child.

LaVisHh said:

No doubt!

I know with the people in my life who do have siblings, when they're fighting etc, they always remind and tell me how lucky I am that I don't have to go through that...

But then again, most of them would tell you if given the choice to not have those brothers and sisters in their life... they would choose to have them, and couldn't picture their life without them.. understandably!

I'm definitely content with being an only child, but of course there are those moments where I miss the bond that I could of had with a sibling... but that's only natural eh?!

The important thing is that we appreciate the people we love in our life, family or otherwise... and if you are fortunate to have siblings who you have a wonderful/close relationship with, then consider yourself blessed.

sag10 said:

Sag

Thank you Diva!

hey y'all!

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[This message was edited Wed Feb 5 9:51:35 PST 2003 by shausler]

i am an only child. i think having brothers and sisters would have been helpful. i grw up on a farm and was isolated much of the time. i had friends in school, but i didn't have anyone to play with when i got home, except my mother or grandma. because of that, i didn't, and still don't know how to form relationships, friendship or romantic.

but on the plus side, i got everything and anything i wanted.

I have 2 sister and I'm in the middle, sometimes I wish I didn't have any sisters while at other times I'm glad they're there. I think having a sibling is important, because it helps u 2 learn how 2 have different relationships with different people.

My Dad was married once and his wife had a Son, Even though the're not married anymore I still consider his wife son's my brother because of the close relationship we shared.

You know I don't think blood as much 2 with anything, cuz sometimes you can have a sister by blood but it seems like she's not ur sister at all, where you can have a sister who's not in ur family but she feels like a sister because of the bond u share.
[This message was edited Wed Feb 5 11:29:21 PST 2003 by DigitalLisa]

I have four brothers and no sisters, I always hated it when I was growing up cause I wanted a sister so bad, but now that I'm older I find having four brothers is a blessing cause their always there for you, especially if some guy tries to PHUCK with you.

Just wanted to thank everyone for their responses...as you all know by now - I'm a sentimental junkie.

Paisley said:

I have one brother, who is 12 years older than myself.

I think having siblings teaches you several important things. Perhaps they've already been covered, but I can't be bothered to read everyone's posts.

Anyhow, having a sibling, in my opinion, teaches you to respect things. For instance, when I used to get in my brother's remote control cars when I was little, and he was gone to school, he'd come home and kick my arse.

I think only children are too spoiled, as well.

My brother and I are quite close. The distance in age, actually, sort of made him into a "second father." He's taken care of me a lot during my near 17 years of life, and I appreciate him for it a great deal.