The words have been said but the events are yet to take place, how do you go separate ways nicely? Or is someone always going to come out being a bastard?

I'd just leave a note.

i don't think it has to get nasty...i'm still on ok terms with all my exes...i think if one person is really hurting at a certain moment... then it's up to the other person to recognise this...and cut them some slack... easier said than done, i know... if you can leave a relationship with dignity...it's always a better result imo ...

Just be honest, let them know you still care & that it's just not working right now for whatever reason. Hopefully the person is reasonable & the split is amicable.

I cried like a baby when I broke up with my boyfriend. He wasn't pleased, but he wasn't totally bitter either - we both knew it wasn't working. I'm sitting there silently hoping he'll still want me in his life somehow & what does he do? He makes me agree that we'll still talk on a regular basis - WHEW! Little did he know, he didn't have to make me agree to anything

There's a difference between total rejection & just being practical, but some people can't see that & can be so nasty about it all, you know? Anyway, we still talk to this day & that was 3+ years ago that we broke up. There's hope for a nice ending, just be honest & follow your heart...

I think faking your own death would work.

Simply leave a suicide note saying that it was ALL your partner's fault. Then fly off somewhere warm for a while. When you return - the person will despise you so much for what you've done to them that they'll hate you forever.

There, simple.

Good luck, I'm in the process of breaking up myself. I think

Why would you want to break up with someone you love??? Can't the words be fixed? Can't you talk things out..??? If your relationship is doomed and there is no goin back, then i have always found that unless it is a willing break up but BOTH parts, one is gonna be the bastard!
Good Luck!

Soapstone said:

Send an Orgnote

silkyspread said:

Ta! I like your signature too, very apt! I don't like being in love really; it takes away all logical intervention. I am in love but it only brings misery, because it comes with impossible baggage. love doesn't = happiness necessarily.

Thanks to the jokers too, made me smile, , even though I feel totally screwed.

ian said:

She aint an orger! Do you think I would be engaged to a sad internet junkie like myself - absolutely no hope!

Just say:

"It's not you, it's me!"

or

"I am gay"

or

"Remember when we used to date each other?"

or

"Welcome to Dumpsville - population: you!"

or

"I've reviewed your application not to be dumped, and I'm afraid on this occasion you were unsuccessful. However we will keep your details on file..."

Seriously though

Trying to someone's best friend while you dump them doesn't work. Nor does trying to stay "just friends" afterwards. Just bite the bullet, be a bastard and get it done

Soapstone said:

Well if she can't make an effort to appreciate your hobbies and check out the site where you spend most of your time, she deserves to be shown the red card!

i think if you really have feelings for someone it might be worth it to try and work through the problem.

true, love doesn't always = happiness but a good part of the time it can = happiness.

just my 2c

XxAxX said:

Or at least wait until Valentine's day, she'll appreciate that...

Just get it over with right away and do it quick. If you hang around or drag it out, it will get really ugly. And don't attack them personally - no "it's because you're a naysayer" or "I can't live with your breath anymore." Just say that it's over, and get the hell out of there. You don't have any good answers anyway, and they will only make things worse, so don't let them ask any questions.
[This message was edited Tue Feb 4 6:54:21 PST 2003 by tommyalma]

Soapstone said:

You dont' like being in love??? How can you say that? If it is love you get all those butterflies in your belly and sweaty palms and nervous when you talk.. And it does bring happiness!! You will always have ups and downs and agruments, but on a whole what better way to live your life than with someone you love and get along with and makes you smile.. If that is the only baggage that comes along with it.. COUNT ME IN!!
A lot of people have baggage.. actually EVERYONE has baggage in some sort of form.. But you learn to put it aside for the right person, or fix whatever can be fixed. or if it isn't the right person that baggage will seeem bigger than the love for taht person.. I hope it works out for you whatever you choose..
Thanks for the reference to my singature..
[This message was edited Tue Feb 4 6:56:24 PST 2003 by silkyspread]

silkyspread said:

nicely said silkyspread!

XxAxX said:

Thanks XxAxx...

i agree that love is worth making an effort for. it's hard sometimes but definitely worth it

XxAxX said:

True, but don't forget that unless you're married, you can always make a clean, legal break (unless you're living with them and did something like combine bank accounts and rent and pretend to be married without actually going through with it). That's what dating is for! If it's not working, get out of there! Don't punish yourself.

P.S. Note that this is invalid if you have kids together. In that case, work it out and get married, otherwise you're going to seriously mess up your children.

You are right (of course) Silkyspread and XxAxX. I just feel tired with it all. Need a break, you know? I have absolutely no doubt that I might end up a miserable git for the rest of my life but at least I chose to be a miserable git. Love sucks! Those butterflies you speak of are akin to nausea, and if I remain in this relationship and get married I WILL go insane or commit suicide before I am 50.

well one thing's for sure it's not like in the movies

Soapstone said:

Well than there is your answer.. If you are that obviously sick over it then you know what you need to do, but if the feeling aint mutual then dont' expect to walk away smiling.
[This message was edited Tue Feb 4 7:16:21 PST 2003 by silkyspread]

silkyspread said:

Goood so how the fuck can I do it without killing her!

Soapstone said:

Go for it man... it's crazy people are so terrified to be alone for a bit. Being single and independent is great! Go break up, enjoy your new found freedom.

I say, Faaa no love Paaa!

Awww break ups suck!!!

I had 2 long term relationships and was the butthole in the end of both.

I use to say just leave and they wouldn't. I tried dogging them calling them horrible names and they just wouldn't leave. Eventually you will get tired of the whole game and make it clear.

I broke up with the one the day when her Grandmother died. I know it didn't seem like perfect timing, but hey she was already upset so why did it matter?!

The second chick was a hard one she just couldn't get the hint... be careful because some people you think might be sane but after the breakup they are insane. She use to follow me everywhere and harrass me for about 3 months.

It's never easy but you have to do what you have to do!!! The first girl and I are still friends... just goes to show it can be rough at first but you both grow up and settle your differences

Much Love,
LoLinex

ian said:

That is all fine and dandy about goin out and being single.. But if he is a good man and really cares about her, there are feelings there which he wants to avoid breaking and stomping on.. Enjoy being single,but be compassionate in the process!

Soapstone said:

whoa. that isn't love