whats wrong with talking to him... telling him how it is?????

tell the truth... and expect the truth.... no games, just tell him how you feel...

if u don't u will always regret it!!!!!

i know cause i am old and been there done that.... dont b scared to blurt it out!!!!

i hate egg shells!!!!!

[Edited 2/1/11 22:07pm]

HotGritz said:

um...what does this have to do with music?

if u have read the entire topic, u would have noticed that i asked the mods to move it to a more suitale forum, as i accidentally posted in the wrong one. sooooooo FORGIVE ME!!!

allsmutaside said:

HotGritz said:

um...what does this have to do with music?

I agree with this question.

Well no, I don't really give a dang where this is posted. I just wanted for HotGritz and me to agree on something today. There is always that Grey Goose. Hmnn?!

then start your own topic

cinnamongal said:

PDogz said:

...and at THAT point, you sealed your fate. Most guys I know find "hints" extremely annoying and petty. Move along, you've lost him. Anything beyond this point and you're just asking for abuse.

i think you are right. because from the day i "hinted", he started wanting to know about my whereabouts, as if he'll "fit" me into his schedule, but i stayed @ home alone.

you know what, if he wanted to be with you he WOULD be.

He is being a pain in the ass.

Tell him it's OVER

ZombieKitten said:

cinnamongal said:

i think you are right. because from the day i "hinted", he started wanting to know about my whereabouts, as if he'll "fit" me into his schedule, but i stayed @ home alone.

you know what, if he wanted to be with you he WOULD be.

He is being a pain in the ass.

Tell him it's OVER

so true. i think i'll finally do it!!! thank you to ALL those who answered my plea.

cinnamongal said:

ZombieKitten said:

you know what, if he wanted to be with you he WOULD be.

He is being a pain in the ass.

Tell him it's OVER

so true. i think i'll finally do it!!! thank you to ALL those who answered my plea.

I'm sorry that you have had to go through this bullshit!! but he doesn't sound worth it at ALL!

cinnamongal said:

hi guys,

i've been seeing this guy for a year now and things were great between us, but then a change occured. he started to withdraw and i assumed he has lost interest. so i "hinted" to him that i might start seeing other people (just to get his reaction), he acted like he wasn't bothered @ all, like he was giving me permission to do so.

he called me one ay to visit me and i told him that i was out with friends of mine (honest), he said "ok", but 3 minutes later i receive a text from him telling me about how i'm cheating on him (because i hinted that i might do it)

long story short, he acts like i'm his wife, he sees me only when it suits him. the problem is that when he gets the time to "fit" me into his "schedule" i sheepishly allow it. he used to be soooo into me, now he acts more like my friend. i would call, he would act like i bothered him or something, but when i stop the communication, he shows interest. a week would not go by without him not calling or texting me. but now I AM THE ONE WHO'S DOING THE CHASING? wtf is that ??? i thought men were supposed to be the hunters, not the other way around

how do i get the interest from him back? how do i stop obsessing over whether he calls/texts/emails me? how do i stop calling/texting/emailing him? (retaining my sanity in the process)

i think the question is: HOW DO I KEEP HIM ON HIS TOES? (without him thinking that i'm cheating of course).

luv, cinnamongal

He doesn't know what he wants and your not a priority. Get rid of him.

A lot of nonsense advice and judgments.

You are the problem as you are creating this situation. You think it s going to be any different with the next one that comes along? Just be straight with him.

ZombieKitten said:

cinnamongal said:

so true. i think i'll finally do it!!! thank you to ALL those who answered my plea.

I'm sorry that you have had to go through this bullshit!! but he doesn't sound worth it at ALL!

i've been asking myself if he is worth it and he's not, but i luv him. thanx anyway for ur warm response and hug

[Edited 2/2/11 4:54am]

PDogz said:

cinnamongal said:

...so i "hinted" to him that i might start seeing other people (just to get his reaction)...

...and at THAT point, you sealed your fate. Most guys I know find "hints" extremely annoying and petty. Move along, you've lost him. Anything beyond this point and you're just asking for abuse.

PDogz-pretty much said it all in a nutshell....games are exhausting and never ending....There are 2 books you may considering reading-very good books.

1) Don't Sweat The Small Stuff in Love - By Richard Carlson

2) The Seven Levels of Intimacy - the art of loving & joy of being loved by Matthew Kelly

keep it moving damn him, its about you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2 late.

Move on.

QueenBad said:

PDogz said:

...and at THAT point, you sealed your fate. Most guys I know find "hints" extremely annoying and petty. Move along, you've lost him. Anything beyond this point and you're just asking for abuse.

PDogz-pretty much said it all in a nutshell....games are exhausting and never ending....

Dropping "hints" is insulting to begin with, and a device of manipulation. So basically, it comes down to that she was manipulating him "just to get his reaction". Well, she GOT his reaction, and it wasn't a good one. Albeit, one she should have expected.

Being blunt... so stop reading if you do not what blunt advice.

he is either already seeing someone else, wants too, or he justs wants end it.

What was that book: 'He's just not that into you.'

Cut your loses and cut that joker loose. He may even act like he dosn't want to break up. But he is moving on emptonally. I think you know it too.

Acrylic said:

Dump him.

If he's being a douchebag, and if you've already tried speaking to him about it and yet it's falling on deaf ears, why do you want to deal with someone like that. Life is too short. Find someone who deserves your time and respects you. Hell, he might already have.

"i ain't playin, of course i'mma playah"

Don't know how old you are, but sounds like you're not too experienced when it comes to affairs of the heart. Straight up drop his ass, girl! WHERE'S YOUR SELF RESPECT? How do you expect him to treat you the way you want to be treated if you allow him to shit all over you? I know it's hard to control the urge to call and text, but either get busy doing something else or be prepared for further heartbreak and humiliaton. Maybe he will respect you more if you gain some self respect yourself. If not, he wasn't worth you time any way.

Co-signing with Acyrlic, Graycap23 and Shyra....

You want tips on how to manipulate a man to fawn over you and make you a priority?

Well there's and old saying...

You get treated how you allow others to treat you.

Here's my tip...

Don't wait on any man to make things happen for you, go out with some friends and stop relying on some guy to make your night.

Take action and make your own fun happen for you... its YOUR own fault you are home alone with nothing to do.

No man should be expected to entertain any woman... he may court you for a bit but you need to learn the fine art of enticement. Courtship goes BOTH ways.

Move on... have more adventures elsewhere.

aaawwww! thank u guys soooo much. where would i be if it weren't for the org?

paintedlady said:

Co-signing with Acyrlic, Graycap23 and Shyra....

You want tips on how to manipulate a man to fawn over you and make you a priority?

Well there's and old saying...

You get treated how you allow others to treat you.

Here's my tip...

Don't wait on any man to make things happen for you, go out with some friends and stop relying on some guy to make your night.

Take action and make your own fun happen for you... its YOUR own fault you are home alone with nothing to do.

No man should be expected to entertain any woman... he may court you for a bit but you need to learn the fine art of enticement. Courtship goes BOTH ways.

Move on... have more adventures elsewhere.

If you had a relationship advice column, I would probably read it daily. From what I've read from you, you usually give good, straightforward, sensible, and fair advice.

paintedlady said:

Co-signing with Acyrlic, Graycap23 and Shyra....

You want tips on how to manipulate a man to fawn over you and make you a priority?

Well there's and old saying...

You get treated how you allow others to treat you.

Here's my tip...

Don't wait on any man to make things happen for you, go out with some friends and stop relying on some guy to make your night.

Take action and make your own fun happen for you... its YOUR own fault you are home alone with nothing to do.

No man should be expected to entertain any woman... he may court you for a bit but you need to learn the fine art of enticement. Courtship goes BOTH ways.

Move on... have more adventures elsewhere.

This woman knows what she's talking about and is giving you good, sound advice. Heed, girl!

Why folk think others are responsible for their happiness is beyond me. Well, when I was younger, I did the same stupid shit, too. Time will help, but believing you deserve more and refusing to take shit from men will save you a lot of heartache.

Hey cinnamon, get out and have some fun babygurl! You deserve it... Kick up those heels, have fun dear!

You sound like a silly broad who's all about playing games. I'd run far away from your ass.

Any girl who threatens (or "hints," as you so delicately put it) to fuck other men just to get a reaction from her boyfriend is going to be a fucking nightmare to deal with, mark my words.

Also, for good measure, some fabulous advice from the one and only Dan Savage:

"When you're with someone who sends mixed signals, disregard the signals that appeal to your vanity and/or hopes and accept at face value the signals that break your heart. The upsetting signals are invariably the truth and the appealing signals almost always an inch of frosting on a big slice of shit cake."

PunkMistress said:

Also, for good measure, some fabulous advice from the one and only Dan Savage:

"When you're with someone who sends mixed signals, disregard the signals that appeal to your vanity and/or hopes and accept at face value the signals that break your heart. The upsetting signals are invariably the truth and the appealing signals almost always an inch of frosting on a big slice of shit cake."

OMG! LOVE IT!!!! I will be certain to remember this one. Thanks for posting this, Punkie!

PunkMistress said:

Also, for good measure, some fabulous advice from the one and only Dan Savage:

"When you're with someone who sends mixed signals, disregard the signals that appeal to your vanity and/or hopes and accept at face value the signals that break your heart. The upsetting signals are invariably the truth and the appealing signals almost always an inch of frosting on a big slice of shit cake."

omg that's so true

PunkMistress said:

You sound like a silly broad who's all about playing games. I'd run far away from your ass.

Any girl who threatens (or "hints," as you so delicately put it) to fuck other men just to get a reaction from her boyfriend is going to be a fucking nightmare to deal with, mark my words.

That's some common sense right there. A bit mean but common sense nontheless.

PunkMistress said:

Also, for good measure, some fabulous advice from the one and only Dan Savage:

"When you're with someone who sends mixed signals, disregard the signals that appeal to your vanity and/or hopes and accept at face value the signals that break your heart. The upsetting signals are invariably the truth and the appealing signals almost always an inch of frosting on a big slice of shit cake."

Preach that shit!

Acrylic said:

Dump him.

If he's being a douchebag, and if you've already tried speaking to him about it and yet it's falling on deaf ears, why do you want to deal with someone like that. Life is too short. Find someone who deserves your time and respects you. Hell, he might already have.

I didn't even read the OP comments, but I agree with this. Sound advice.

PunkMistress said:

You sound like a silly broad who's all about playing games. I'd run far away from your ass.

Any girl who threatens (or "hints," as you so delicately put it) to fuck other men just to get a reaction from her boyfriend is going to be a fucking nightmare to deal with, mark my words.

Oh... well maybe I should have read the OP comments then. Because I agree with this, too... and with Dan Savage.

paintedlady said:

Hey cinnamon, get out and have some fun babygurl! You deserve it... Kick up those heels, have fun dear!

thank u, thank u, thank u paintedlady, i don't know why i allowed it to happen, i used to be so in control of my happiness, but now i'm making him responsible for my having a good time. maybe if i had lots of galfriends i wouldn't worry so much (wait a minute i do have galfriends, but they devote their time and energy to their boyfriends).

i smell a pattern here