hi guys,

i've been seeing this guy for a year now and things were great between us, but then a change occured. he started to withdraw and i assumed he has lost interest. so i "hinted" to him that i might start seeing other people (just to get his reaction), he acted like he wasn't bothered @ all, like he was giving me permission to do so.

he called me one ay to visit me and i told him that i was out with friends of mine (honest), he said "ok", but 3 minutes later i receive a text from him telling me about how i'm cheating on him (because i hinted that i might do it)

long story short, he acts like i'm his wife, he sees me only when it suits him. the problem is that when he gets the time to "fit" me into his "schedule" i sheepishly allow it. he used to be soooo into me, now he acts more like my friend. i would call, he would act like i bothered him or something, but when i stop the communication, he shows interest. a week would not go by without him not calling or texting me. but now I AM THE ONE WHO'S DOING THE CHASING? wtf is that ??? i thought men were supposed to be the hunters, not the other way around

how do i get the interest from him back? how do i stop obsessing over whether he calls/texts/emails me? how do i stop calling/texting/emailing him? (retaining my sanity in the process)

i think the question is: HOW DO I KEEP HIM ON HIS TOES? (without him thinking that i'm cheating of course).

luv, cinnamongal

Wrong forum.

To answer your question I think you should tell him what you are feeling and that things need to change. You might lose him but isn't that better than playing games? Try to be as calm and unconfrontational as possible but be sure to get your point across.

Good luck.

u have no idea as to how many times i tried speaking to him about it. it goes in one ear and comes out the other. it's like talking to a brick wall.

how would he feel if the tables were turned?

ps. mods, please move this to the correct forum as i can't. thnx in advance

cinnamongal said:

u have no idea as to how many times i tried speaking to him about it. it goes in one ear and comes out the other. it's like talking to a brick wall.

how would he feel if the tables were turned?

ps. mods, please move this to the correct forum as i can't. thnx in advance

TURN THEM TABLES! What keeps you interested in him at this level? Most often my observations of this type of a situation reveal an accomplished or well fitting sexual partner, and this can be a hard find.

Considering that he has bad ears - is this by choice and part of his game?

"telling me about how i'm cheating on him (because i hinted that i might do it)" NONONONONONO. What you hinted that you might do is engage with some other men than he. This is not cheating.

Consider asking him to be your friend, without benefits (if you can do it.) Try not to talk to him about the choices that you are faced with, show him what they are, and what you are choosing. Choose to love yourself. Choose to be his friend. If he comes along - sweet. If not, you will save yourself some time, pain, etc. etc. etc.

Dump him.

If he's being a douchebag, and if you've already tried speaking to him about it and yet it's falling on deaf ears, why do you want to deal with someone like that. Life is too short. Find someone who deserves your time and respects you. Hell, he might already have.

Stop calling and chasing him. Start seeing other men. When he sees you don't give a damn, he'll eventually call you but if he doesn't, the hell with him. And when he does call you, continue seeing other men and don't hide it from him. Hold on to his ass as a spare tire to get some dick from when no other dick is available. And when you get the dick, act like it wasn't all that.

Turn the tables honey and show him that you're the one that's all that and he's the one that's trash.

This might be cruel, but he called your bluff. Instead of assuming that he lost interest, you should have come straight out and asked him. You doing what you did, gave him the feeling that you were no longer interested. Communication is so important in a relationship...Never assume.

cinnamongal said:

u have no idea as to how many times i tried speaking to him about it. it goes in one ear and comes out the other. it's like talking to a brick wall.

how would he feel if the tables were turned?

ps. mods, please move this to the correct forum as i can't. thnx in advance

Chile, you already know what to do. Move along...there are too many fine men to be thinking about what one person is doing....and another thing...I think he actualyl lieks the whole game playing thing..so just do it right back to him (as you are doing) until the game gets bored and somebody better comes along your way. End of story....use him as a boy toy for a while and when the right man comes along he will become useless.

um...what does this have to do with music?

HotGritz said:

um...what does this have to do with music?

I agree with this question.

Well no, I don't really give a dang where this is posted. I just wanted for HotGritz and me to agree on something today. There is always that Grey Goose. Hmnn?!

allsmutaside said:

HotGritz said:

um...what does this have to do with music?

I agree with this question.

Well no, I don't really give a dang where this is posted. I just wanted for HotGritz and me to agree on something today. There is always that Grey Goose. Hmnn?!

Ok fine. Let's agree. You're going to be mad at me though...when you go back to that place. You left me no choice really.

HotGritz said:

allsmutaside said:

I agree with this question.

Well no, I don't really give a dang where this is posted. I just wanted for HotGritz and me to agree on something today. There is always that Grey Goose. Hmnn?!

Ok fine. Let's agree. You're going to be mad at me though...when you go back to that place. You left me no choice really.

I was never mad at you, so I can't see getting mad at you now. Seriously, if we measure this bull by the issues that it possibly calls out into the light you should be mad at yourself. It appears unrelated to many, but this tipoftheiceburg bull is what feeds the larger "sensativity" some queer people live with. It is too bad that we are so sensative about the assault of queer culture, the assault of queer people and the killing off of a queer nation.

Does anyone have any tips for a perfect adobo dish?

I loooove Amazon.com. I buy so much crap from there, it's like a compulsion.

allsmutaside said:

HotGritz said:

Ok fine. Let's agree. You're going to be mad at me though...when you go back to that place. You left me no choice really.

I was never mad at you, so I can't see getting mad at you now. Seriously, if we measure this bull by the issues that it possibly calls out into the light you should be mad at yourself. It appears unrelated to many, but this tipoftheiceburg bull is what feeds the larger "sensativity" some queer people live with. It is too bad that we are so sensative about the assault of queer culture, the assault of queer people and the killing off of a queer nation.

WTH? Who assaulted a queer culture and killed off a queer nation? Didn't even know there was a queer nation. I've heard of muslim nations.

Ok....are you a fan of Gaga or no?

sosgemini said:

Does anyone have any tips for a perfect adobo dish?

Tips? Do you have a recipe? I decided just last week that I had to make my own, out here in the Texas wilderness. (I just found a small mom and pop store that has a restaurant in the back. They were incredibly cute, but the adobo and poncit was not cute at all.)

Let them eat Chile Adobo.

HotGritz said:

allsmutaside said:

I was never mad at you, so I can't see getting mad at you now. Seriously, if we measure this bull by the issues that it possibly calls out into the light you should be mad at yourself. It appears unrelated to many, but this tipoftheiceburg bull is what feeds the larger "sensativity" some queer people live with. It is too bad that we are so sensative about the assault of queer culture, the assault of queer people and the killing off of a queer nation.

WTH? Who assaulted a queer culture and killed off a queer nation? Didn't even know there was a queer nation. I've heard of muslim nations.

Ok....are you a fan of Gaga or no?

Ok...straight up now tell me. I am a hugantic fan of her live performances. The recordings are no where near my cup of tea - ok I really don't like them. I also find her to be a little off on occasion in her fashion. Wearing awkward 5 " platforms and see through this and see through that when you are rolling through the airport just seems gratuitous to me, but she is young. She doth seem to protest too much when referring to herself as an outsider. I do love how she is pushing the young people on there stupid young people issues. And she is causing any and all folks who lay an eye or an ear to her to pause and examine a boatload of issues that we sleep right through anymore. This is where she picked up the mantel from Prince and Madonna, she pushes the envelope of tolerance, sex and of a certain truth regarding the basic tenants of humanity and Love. So, I guess I like her for her varied talents, but beyond that I like her for being a bad ass Bitch who is gonna do her thing, just like Prince when he was sportin' his little underwears during the Dirty Mind tour.

Little queer angels die every time you decide to ask about queer things in such a vacuous, disingenuous and falsely superior manner. Can you hear them? Do you hear the angels crying? O, shit. It's you, HotGritz, you're killing all things queer.

(Just because you have not heard of something does not invalidate it, queer or not.
And using little whirly fingers circling around the ear of your emoticon reflects on you and no one else.)

It's settled then. I alone rule the world. I am omnipotent and omnipresent.

First on my list of rules/regulations/commandments:

to those who use teeny tiny font. and to gaga,,,worst best rip off artist who ever lived.

her meat dress shall be delivered via messenger to whatever dickhead is currently directing PETA, along with 2 dozen taco bell tacos.

I will deal with the stans tomorrow. I have planets to create and nations to remodel.

allsmutaside said:

sosgemini said:

Does anyone have any tips for a perfect adobo dish?

Tips? Do you have a recipe? I decided just last week that I had to make my own, out here in the Texas wilderness. (I just found a small mom and pop store that has a restaurant in the back. They were incredibly cute, but the adobo and poncit was not cute at all.)

Let them eat Chile Adobo.

I do...well sort of. Pork Shoulder cut up into cubes, keep the fat. Tons of garlic, tons of soy sauce, 1/3 cup of regular vinegar, a handfull of bay leaves, five or six slices of giner, a bit of salt, pepper and ground garlic for taste.

cinnamongal said:

...so i "hinted" to him that i might start seeing other people (just to get his reaction)...

...and at THAT point, you sealed your fate. Most guys I know find "hints" extremely annoying and petty. Move along, you've lost him. Anything beyond this point and you're just asking for abuse.

HotGritz said:

It's settled then. I alone rule the world. I am omnipotent and omnipresent.

First on my list of rules/regulations/commandments:

to those who use teeny tiny font. and to gaga,,,worst best rip off artist who ever lived.

her meat dress shall be delivered via messenger to whatever dickhead is currently directing PETA, along with 2 dozen taco bell tacos.

I will deal with the stans tomorrow. I have planets to create and nations to remodel.

And you are clever and smart, not pea brained at all.

shorttrini said:

This might be cruel, but he called your bluff. Instead of assuming that he lost interest, you should have come straight out and asked him.

At this point, there's no regaining his interest. And any other strategies you employ to try to do so will only push him further away. It's like trying to re-heat pizza, it only gets hard & crusty, lol. Men are funny that way, many women don't realize. Chalk it up to experience, and move on. You'll know better next time.

Spinlight said:

I loooove Amazon.com. I buy so much crap from there, it's like a compulsion.

Meh. Amazon is usually overpriced. I find the same things for cheaper on eBay.

Moving to GD forum

cinnamongal said:

hi guys,

i've been seeing this guy for a year now and things were great between us, but then a change occured. he started to withdraw and i assumed he has lost interest. so i "hinted" to him that i might start seeing other people (just to get his reaction), he acted like he wasn't bothered @ all, like he was giving me permission to do so.

he called me one ay to visit me and i told him that i was out with friends of mine (honest), he said "ok", but 3 minutes later i receive a text from him telling me about how i'm cheating on him (because i hinted that i might do it)

long story short, he acts like i'm his wife, he sees me only when it suits him. the problem is that when he gets the time to "fit" me into his "schedule" i sheepishly allow it. he used to be soooo into me, now he acts more like my friend. i would call, he would act like i bothered him or something, but when i stop the communication, he shows interest. a week would not go by without him not calling or texting me. but now I AM THE ONE WHO'S DOING THE CHASING? wtf is that ??? i thought men were supposed to be the hunters, not the other way around

how do i get the interest from him back? how do i stop obsessing over whether he calls/texts/emails me? how do i stop calling/texting/emailing him? (retaining my sanity in the process)

i think the question is: HOW DO I KEEP HIM ON HIS TOES? (without him thinking that i'm cheating of course).

luv, cinnamongal

This story kinda makes me sad.

sosgemini said:

allsmutaside said:

Tips? Do you have a recipe? I decided just last week that I had to make my own, out here in the Texas wilderness. (I just found a small mom and pop store that has a restaurant in the back. They were incredibly cute, but the adobo and poncit was not cute at all.)

Let them eat Chile Adobo.

I do...well sort of. Pork Shoulder cut up into cubes, keep the fat. Tons of garlic, tons of soy sauce, 1/3 cup of regular vinegar, a handfull of bay leaves, five or six slices of giner, a bit of salt, pepper and ground garlic for taste.

NOOOOOOO!!! Don't slice tha' giner!!!

a girl will cut you if you slice her giner...

just1lousydime said:

Spinlight said:

I loooove Amazon.com. I buy so much crap from there, it's like a compulsion.

Meh. Amazon is usually overpriced. I find the same things for cheaper on eBay.

I don't trust the users on ebay one bit. That and I also have a moral problem with ebay.

PDogz said:

cinnamongal said:

...so i "hinted" to him that i might start seeing other people (just to get his reaction)...

...and at THAT point, you sealed your fate. Most guys I know find "hints" extremely annoying and petty. Move along, you've lost him. Anything beyond this point and you're just asking for abuse.

i think you are right. because from the day i "hinted", he started wanting to know about my whereabouts, as if he'll "fit" me into his schedule, but i stayed @ home alone.

vainandy said:

Stop calling and chasing him. Start seeing other men. When he sees you don't give a damn, he'll eventually call you but if he doesn't, the hell with him. And when he does call you, continue seeing other men and don't hide it from him. Hold on to his ass as a spare tire to get some dick from when no other dick is available. And when you get the dick, act like it wasn't all that.

Turn the tables honey and show him that you're the one that's all that and he's the one that's trash.

i'll take this advice