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Would you cheat or leave? Do you have the intestinal fortitude to walk out on your spouse/mate/significant-other BEFORE you found another lover?
Relationships are difficult to maintain, and people do grow apart.
So, if it came to the point where you have decided that your relationshipo is over...would you have the decency to just up & leave before screwing someone else? Or are you one of those people that are so attached to belongings and comfort that you'd have an affair?
Honestly. By St. Boogar and all the saints at the backside door of Purgatory! | |
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I dont understand affairs.. if im that miserable in my relationship that I want to find others, than I need to leave.... ~~~~~ Oh that voice...incredible....there should be a musical instrument called George Michael... ~~~~~ | |
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If I felt or was in the situation where cheating and dishonesty showed it's face
I'd leave
I in no way see that happening
BUT
one never knows now do they
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One never knows, and one may think that they know the perosn with whom they've spent 17 years of their life wit5h,...anbd then when things get bad, all bets are off apparently. I guess you shouldn't trust anyone 110%. Exceopt your mother maybe. By St. Boogar and all the saints at the backside door of Purgatory! | |
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I have done both and i find that what is out there is worse than keepin a casual friend
let the people decide..... [Edited 1/30/11 15:06pm] THE B EST BE YOURSELF AS LONG AS YOUR SELF ISNT A DYCK[/r]
**....Someti | |
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At one time I would have cheated.
Now I would jsut leave. I've reached in darkness and come out with treasure
I layed down with love and I woke up with lies Whats it all worth only the heart can measure It's not whats in the mirror but what's left inside | |
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I would leave. .....
" I never saw an ugly thing in my life: for let the form of an object be what it may,- light, shade, and perspective will always make it beautiful." - John Constable | |
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Just walk out. No point in staying if I feel it's not worth it.
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i would never cheat i don't wear a cross?!!? i wear a prince symbol I When Prince's cum dries, diamonds are formed. no one tops prince in concert! | |
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leave | |
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If you don't walk out first, you're a coward. The idea "intestinal fortitude" sort of implies it's some giant undertaking, but if you aren't feeling it then you need to leave.
If you are having trouble leaving and you need to create a disaster to break it off (aka cheat), then you've got a lot of issues you should work through before engaging in another relationship with a human being.
(BTW, all "you" comments are general yous, not YOU yous.) | |
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Though my bf who I was together with for 17 years never cheated on me I can very much relate to that . It is very hard and painful to end a relationship that long. I never cheated on a partner, but I am not sure if sometimes it might be better to try first with somebody else as you migth find out how much you still love the one you are with afterwards then to just end it. What I would also suggest would be some counselling.
From this post and others I see you are struggling right now . Best of luck to you . With a very special thank you to Tina: Is hammer already absolute, how much some people verändern...ICH hope is never so I will be! And if, then I hope that I would then have wen in my environment who joins me in the A.... | |
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YES! I never ever cheated on any of my partners in my life and I don't see it happening as it is just natural for me to be loyal to the one I love even when I am in a long distance relationship like now when I don't see my man for many months. But to all these people who say they would never cheat: You never know what circumstances might come up in life that might make you do things you cannot imagine right now. With a very special thank you to Tina: Is hammer already absolute, how much some people verändern...ICH hope is never so I will be! And if, then I hope that I would then have wen in my environment who joins me in the A.... | |
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I would just leave.
Since anything is possible, if I were to imagine some circumstance that would lead me to cheating, I'm guessing I'd have to have grown to hate the person I'm with to the point of wanting to hurt them. That's not in my nature, but I guess it's not impossible for someone to push me to the point I despise them. This is just a guess. | |
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Leave. | |
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Huh? I've never understood that idea. What do you mean you never know if you would cheat? How is that even a difficult concept to adhere to? If you -allow- for that behavior to be acceptable in your mind then you will rationalize your bad behavior if and when it happens. Why leave the door open? Close the door and retain your dignity.
No matter WHAT gripes you have in a relationship, you completely blow your argument to smithereens the moment you cheat on someone. You are INSTANTLY the villain and if you were already the bad guy in the situation and the stress of being the bad guy made you cheat, then you not only look like an asshole, but you look like a COMPLETE asshole. | |
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I know how much it hurts te be left by somebody you love. IMO cheating on somebody might sometimes be better than leaving that person. Better for that person. I know for a fact hat my bf would prefer me to cheat on him than me to leave him for example. And no I cannot imagine I will ever do that. And I sure won't do it more likely just because I cannot complety rule it out.
With a very special thank you to Tina: Is hammer already absolute, how much some people verändern...ICH hope is never so I will be! And if, then I hope that I would then have wen in my environment who joins me in the A.... | |
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But aren't you more likely to do it if you have the option left open? I know breaking up hurts, I've been there. I guess it all comes down to what you feel is an easier feeling to deal with: we can't be together because we're not compatible or we can't be together because you've totally destroyed my trust and faith in you. See how those are 2 different poles? Wouldn't you rather not add insult to injury? Just curious, no judgments here. We're all human, I know! It just disheartens me to see people make cheating seem acceptable when it is one of the worst things you can do to a person. | |
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No I don't think so at all. Just like it was never necessary for me to marry just to know that I belong to who I am with and want to stay with that person forever. If you leave somebody you destroy the trust and faith anyway. It depends on so many circumstances. I would never just cheat on somebody just so. I am not like that. BUt like you said we are all human, so I cannot foresee the future. With a very special thank you to Tina: Is hammer already absolute, how much some people verändern...ICH hope is never so I will be! And if, then I hope that I would then have wen in my environment who joins me in the A.... | |
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I have to leave if I'm going to be with another....but it's easier said than done sometimes | |
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........... [Edited 1/30/11 7:02am] | |
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I was in a non-loving, bad relationship in the past and I was going behind my then-current "boyfriend's" back having dinner with my ex [no kissing or sex, just reconnecting and chatting about life]. This was when my then-bf decided he was going to go snowboarding with friends during the weekend of my birthday and leave me in the city. This was also around the time when my then-bf told me it was "unhealthy" I didn't keep in touch with exes and that I should b/c he did. So, I took his advice!
He was a controlling type who wanted to dictate the vacations we went on, was mentally abusive, would chastise your beliefs, always thought he was right on everything. I later slept with my ex, but trust me, we were already dissolving around this point and I was no longer happy nor wanted to be in the relationship. This was also around the time I told my then-bf that I did not love him and that we weren't in love. He didn't want to accept it. I have no idea of the affairs my "boyfriend" was participating in. He was a clubbing-type and an alcoholic and he liked to keep a lot of "friends" around him when he went out. Many of his friends I did not like and I let him know of this. Plus he pressured me to do cocaine on occasion, and he KNEW I was drug-free. He and his stoner roommate belittled me many times as a result. They were both Type-A asshole New York entry-level lawyers.
About a few months later, I broke up with him after he pretty much planned out his entire summer of trips and I was not included in any of them. The weekend he was visiting family I went out dancing and I met a guy who I found ten-times more attractive than my boyfriend (the guy looked like a splitting image of Wentworth Miller, my "boyfriend" looked like a bespectacled, hipster Woody Allen). A day later I was literally crying to my close friends that I wasn't in love and that I met someone new. Pretty much, I broke up with him when he came back from his parents.
And guess what... all those "friends" I was suspicious about during our relationship. When I dropped by his place unannounced a few weeks after we broke up, my now ex-"boyfriend" answered the door in just basketball shorts and one of the "friends" was in his bed asleep naked.
So, all in all, if I'm "cheating" pretty much the trust and respect of the relationship is already eroded and I already have no investment in the relationship any longer. We both knew it was coming and also we were pretty much "keeping up appearances" and were with each other b/c it was comfortable, but we weren't happy, everyone saw it.
This was two relationships ago. The last breakup I had was nowhere near as longwinded and drama-filled.
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I honestly can't answer that question. I don't know what I would do until I was faced with the reality.
how's that for fence riding. | |
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I would like to think I'd just leave. Shake it til ya make it | |
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One never knows what another person may do either ~ you may NEVER but a partner may
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You know so many people tell me that I expect too much of my boyfriend to live celibate for months especially in a country where most men are not into monogamy at all and that he sure is sleeping around. I just hope it ain't so and that he is as serious about our relationship as I am, but you never have any guarantees in life anyway. I was so sure my last relationship would last forever, but my ex left me after 17 years without ever having cheated on me. With a very special thank you to Tina: Is hammer already absolute, how much some people verändern...ICH hope is never so I will be! And if, then I hope that I would then have wen in my environment who joins me in the A.... | |
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I always leave! Or I'm honest about banging multiple dudes. Either way, I'm not a cheater.... | |
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Sometimes the new love finds you....you can't plan some things.... | |
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Since everyone in this thread claims loyality, I'll throw this out there:
I've cheated.
Do I think it's right? Of course not. But have I done it? Yes. I have. Do I think that makes me a horrible person? No. Am I a whore? No -- my life would be far more interesting if I were.
It's simple for everyone to preach the "just leave; walk out" card, but life isn't all that simple and black-and-white. There are factors that come with serious relationships -- joint finances, combined living arrangements, children involved, etc. Sometimes you can't just up and tell your significant other to kick rocks at that very moment in time. Sometimes relationships become more out of convience; whether you want them to be or not. Love is a huge gray area, and everyone is going to look at it through different views.
I, in no way, am condoning the act of cheating WHATSOEVER. This is just my and something that I've experienced first hand. I do nothing professionally. I only do things for fun. johnart: Acrylic's old bras is where tits of all sizes go to frolic after they die. Tit Heaven. | |
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