What was you most painful breakup ever?

How did you cope?

What did you feel?

How much alcophol did it take????

Have you gotten completely over it????????????????/

What was you most painful breakup ever? The break up with my 1st fiance after 5.5 years

How did you cope? Crying ~ friends and attaining my masters in child psych

What did you feel? Wounded ... angry and greatful all mixed together

How much alcophol did it take???? None ... if you mean drunkeness

Have you gotten completely over it ... Yes ~ that was 27ish yrs ago

and for you ...

I have never really had one so I can only offer my hugs

Mach said:

and for you ...

tinaz said:

I have never really had one so I can only offer my hugs

Conghrats........it's terrible..........

• When my engagement ended.
• Crying and eating
• I can't even describe the feeling...
• I don't drink. But I gained 50lbs.
• Yes. It's been 6 years. I recently sold the ring and used the money toward my new car.

chocolate1 said:

• When my engagement ended.
• Crying and eating
• I can't even describe the feeling...
• I don't drink. But I gained 50lbs.
• Yes. It's been 6 years. I recently sold the ring and used the money toward my new car.

Just thank GOD that it didn't get past the negagement. Or that it got to where you had kids.

PurpleJedi said:

chocolate1 said:

• When my engagement ended.
• Crying and eating
• I can't even describe the feeling...
• I don't drink. But I gained 50lbs.
• Yes. It's been 6 years. I recently sold the ring and used the money toward my new car.

Just thank GOD that it didn't get past the negagement. Or that it got to where you had kids.

(oh, and I lost the weight. )

What was you most painful breakup ever? My first long term bf, whom was also my first love

How did you cope? I didn't for a long time

What did you feel? depression

How much alcophol did it take???? None, I just stopped eating though

Have you gotten completely over it???????????????? Yes

we never officially broke up, we just torture each other to know not when....

i kid, i kid. If i had a normal relationship to speak of, then i could say....

[Edited 1/29/11 21:47pm]

What was you most painful breakup ever?

The end of my marriage which was almost 10 years. Not because I missed him or had romantic feeling for him at all. Just because there were two young kids involved and because I didn't have a job or a pot to piss in and he had possesion of all of our assets. Not hard for love reasons.

How did you cope?

Lots of ways. Denial, avoidance, alcohol

What did you feel?

Pissed the fuck off at first, Revengeful, Helpless(which was the worst feeling of them all), Regret, Then eventually Strong, Self sufficient, Mournful, Forgiving, Pity, Happiness

How much alcophol did it take????

I'm sure my liver will not be sending me any thank you cards any time soon.

Have you gotten completely over it????????????????

Over it? Well I will never forget, and it has in part made me who I am today......good parts and bad parts. I will always have guilt from time to time, because there are children involved and I'm only human of coursse I will second guess myself at times......but I ultimatly feel it is for the best.

What was you most painful breakup ever?

It happened at the end of 2007 with my on again/off again girlfriend.

The most painful thing about it was that I felt like I was a failure. I had

worked quite hard at times to keep the 6 1/2 year relationship afloat, but

we finally became quite different people.

How did you cope?

Funny story.

I rebounded through an Internet relationship with someone

halfway around the world. Like that was going to a good thing.

He was neurotic, self-obsessed, and just a hot mess. It was charming

and completely hilarious a the same time. I'm still receiving news about

him, and apparently he's still a hot mess.

What did you feel?

Strangely, I went through days of feeling like my life was over

to these crazy mood swings that my life was just beginning. Sometimes

all of these swings in one day.

How much alcophol did it take????

I had to look that up in dictionary.com, but couldn't find it.

I'm guessing you mean 'alcohol', in which case I'll just say

I rarely drink. And it wouldn't have helped.

Have you gotten completely over it????????????????/

Of course. I look at that relationship as a complete waste

of time, but an amusing one now. I needed the pain to free

myself from any real fond feelings towards her. I don't even

wish her the best...I just wish her away.

As far as the mincy bloke I was poking afterwords, let's just

say I hope he finds what he's looking for--he's gonna self-implode

if he doesn't.

I guess the real question in my mind is, are these relationships merely

chance meetings? Or by design were they meant to teach us something.

The aetheist tendencies in me says the former, which of course, makes

my memories even more comedic.

What was your most painful breakup ever? A guy with whom I got close. Can't call it a full-on partnership though, as we were never formally committed.

How did you cope? Sucked it up. I was out to only one friend back then, and he could only be so consoling as he was dealing with his own personal issues at the time.

What did you feel? Profound depression, betrayal, loss, some complicity, a sense of wasted time and investment.

How much alcohol did it take? I don't drink to cope.

Have you gotten completely over it? If you mean whether I still want him, no I don't. If you mean whether I still feel residual "stuff" when I replay that time in my life, sure, sometimes. But I'm moreover grateful for the life that's unfolded in part because I parted ways with him.

PurpleJedi said:

What was you most painful breakup ever? My first relationship

How did you cope? *sigh* After some soul searching, I simply walked away. I said nothing. I just walked away. I felt it was better that way.

What did you feel? Like crap before I actually broke up with him. I felt really low. When I let go, it took a while for happiness to come back, but it did.

How much alcophol did it take???? None. But I did lose myself in the ever loving embrace of music and cry like crazy. And I had the support of wonderful, caring friends.

Have you gotten completely over it???????????????? I believe I have. Although now and then, I cry about it even though I vowed I'd NEVER shed another tear for him. Ah well...nature of the beast.

What was you most painful breakup ever? They were all pretty bad for me

How did you cope? time

What did you feel? totally empty, unable to concentrate, willing to make silly decisions, like I could never love again, angry. There's this throb of weird pain in my heart, not literally painful, but like a reching of my soul, a refresh button for my feelings (in case I was not feeling miserable for a moment) that brought it all back with full force.

How much alcophol did it take???? That is not really how I have ever coped with anything, actually. For me it's all about emotional collapse.

Have you gotten completely over it????????????????/ I have healed, but the scars are there, and look at the scars and you remember the wound. Fortunately I have forgiven and re-friended in many cases, even those who I whought I could never see again without making an idiot of myself and opening the scar to reveal the fresh wound underneath. But time does heal. The feelings remain, but new ones surround them, good ones. And invariably moving on was the right choice in retrospect.

:

[Edited 1/29/11 23:37pm]

What was you most painful breakup ever? - My 6 year relationship that ended, last year.

How did you cope? - Cried my eyes out, still do at times.

What did you feel? - Allot of pain, emptiness.

How much alcophol did it take???? - Lots of beer and rum...

Have you gotten completely over it???????????????? - No. Especially since she wants to stay friends.

What was you most painful breakup ever? the one with my boyfriend of 17 years and best friend of 20 years

How did you cope? Cry, cry and cry

What did you feel? so very sad

How much alcophol did it take???? none, that won't help either

Have you gotten completely over it????????????????/ No I am not over it at all and I don't think I will ever be completely over it ever. The break up happened in 2008 and I love my new bf with all my heart, but the pain over my ex just leaving me without figthing for our love and breaking all his promises of wanting to stay best friends for life and acting as if he wishes I never existed still hurts so much that I lost all my happiness in life .

PurpleJedi said:

What was you most painful breakup ever?

How did you cope?

What did you feel?

How much alcophol did it take????

Have you gotten completely over it????????????????/

1. Sort of a tie. From purely a relationship standpoint, my ex g/f. I'd gotten to know her for a while and never thought we'd actually get together. Then we did. It didn't last all that long, sure. But I loved her. She says she loved me. I hadn't felt that stongly for one woman before. From an all-encompassing standpoint, my ex-wife. We didn't get to know each other as long beforehand, but splitting with her was the end of a 7 year marriage and meant my daughter moving away from me which sucks, of course.

2. I dealt with each in a relatively quiet manner. In one case I did the breaking up, in the other, I was broken up with. In each, I limited my conversation with that person and tried not to make it dramatic at all. I did a lot of aimless walking and listening to music in each case.

3. With divorce - Some freedom mixed with doubt about whether I did the right thing or not. With the other breakup, regret for not fixing things before they went bad.

4. Not much for the divorce, I wasn't a big drinker at that point. I drank a good amount after that other breakup. It helped me to not think about it.

5. Divorce - yes. She and I are good friends now and get along better than we did before. She's grown, become more independent and understands where I was coming from with a lot of the issues I had that led to my decision. The breakup - Yes, but I'd say getting over it was fairly recent, probably like 5 months ago.

Thank you all for sharing.

It's helpful and encouraging to hear from all of you.

Puts things in perspective, and explains certain things.

PurpleJedi said:

What was you most painful breakup ever? My first relationship, which lasted three years.

How did you cope? I didn't cope well with it at all. He broke up with me in a sudden way (though things had been bad between us for some time before and I really should have known the breakup was imminent, but I guess I was in denial about that at the time.) and also in a way that left me feeling no closure, foolish, and very tossed aside like I never truly mattered to him (that last part may or may not be actually so, but I cannot speak for him, just state how I felt as a result of how he broke up with me)

What did you feel? Oops I think I already started in on this question in my answer above. Besides the emotions I listed already, I also felt extremely sad, and very very lost. My ex was my closest friend (I thought) besides being my boyfriend....his leaving like he did altered everything about my life in one split second. I remember driving around aimlessly a lot in the months following our breakup, trying to make sense of everything. I was so shattered. I had few friends then and had to deal with this first breakup mostly on my own, which was hard.

How much alcophol did it take???? I've never been a drinker, so.... I watched a lot of movies and read a lot, and drove around a lot. In my case, alcohol money was spend on gasoline instead!

Have you gotten completely over it????????????????/ It's been 23 years since that relationship ended, and yes I'm over in the sense that I don't feel so broken and lost anymore, and I ages ago I finally came to understand that he and I were so young when we were together and we just weren't meant to last. I feel thankfulness now for the time I spent with him, even the crappy stuff. But I'm not completely 'over' the relationship in that, to this day, I think of this person from time to time and miss him and his friendship. He had many great qualities and there will always be an empty place in my life where I wish he could be. I know I will always feel that way and I'm actually glad for that. I would rather miss him a bit, and feel a warmth in my heart for him than feel nothing for him and consider my years with him as nothing or a waste of time.

PurpleJedi said:

What was you most painful breakup ever?

How did you cope?

What did you feel?

How much alcophol did it take????

Have you gotten completely over it????????????????/

I hate that you are going through this right now.

I couldn't eat for 3 months. I lived off coca cola (the only thing that would settle my stomach) and cigarettes. It took me a long time to get over it, we're talking probably 2 years. I wasn't completely over it until I met someone wonderful who made me realize the other one didn't matter and he was just a stepping stone.

It sucks and it takes time. Luckily I had really good friends that helped me out and I kept myself really busy with working two jobs and going to school full time. I guess that's all you can do at first, is keep busy so you don't have time to think about it.

Good luck.

CarrieLee said:

I couldn't eat for 3 months. I lived off coca cola (the only thing that would settle my stomach) and cigarettes. It took me a long time to get over it, we're talking probably 2 years. I wasn't completely over it until I met someone wonderful who made me realize the other one didn't matter and he was just a stepping stone.

It sucks and it takes time. Luckily I had really good friends that helped me out and I kept myself really busy with working two jobs and going to school full time. I guess that's all you can do at first, is keep busy so you don't have time to think about it.

Good luck.

This is it exactly. I didn't do that and now I'm older I see how much needless agony I allowed myself to feel.

I was devastated. I cried for 3 full months since he was the father of my two younger children.

He promised we would be together, I thought we were soul mates. I wanted that relationship to work out so bad. He begged me to have my second child. He wooed me and swept me off my feet. I loved him HARD. He could do no wrong in my eyes. He lived off me for 4 years, til I faced eviction from his mis management of his money and stealing of mine. He brought me to financial ruin, and depression, but I still loved him dearly.

I gave him a second chance after he made me lose everything.

I took him back, two years later. He had surgery on his ballsack. He had a small non-cancerous tumor removed. So I housed him (again) and nursed him back to health.... we re-connected ....

it took only 3 months for him to tell me that he never loved me and that he found another woman that was better than me in everyway. I gained too much weight for him. That woman was about 60 years old. I was 36 at the time, he was 37.

I stayed angry for a long time after... but I healed and I feel beautiful again. Sucks being dumped for a senior citizen..

Now I look back at my story and see it as funny as hell.... it really is. I am not bitter, but I know I will never love so unconditionally ever again. I learned from my experience... it is a good thing. So now I am a better women for the man who will choose to be with me.

Oh!

I cried and I got angry.... so I listened to music (angry fuck that loser make me happy to keep a spring in my step music- none of that sad crap) and kept my head straight with being a good mom to my kids. I focused on being a better person for them. I got busy being happy and living stress free. I also had a good buddy to cry to on the phone.

When I am sad I stay away from alcohol, I only drink when I am happy.

[Edited 1/31/11 7:17am]

I'm sooo sorry that you're going through this!!!!

I fell apart during my last painful break up, so you don't need my advice. I'm what you DON'T do. But two years later I met a wonderful guy, so eventually things always change and always hurt less.

What was you most painful breakup ever? a girl I was with for only a year and a half (we were friends for a couple of years before we dated)...she dumped me, it was my own fault

How did you cope? I was already on the verge of losing control of my life, that sent me over the edge...drugs & alcohol replaced her

What did you feel? drunk & high...lonely and pathetic

How much alcophol did it take???? way more drugs, the alcohol was just a chaser

Have you gotten completely over it???????????????? I've only loved a few women in my life, she's one of them, she was the first...I don't think that love goes away and it hasn't...it's fair to say that I'll never get over losing her...I realize that ruining that relationship is one of the biggest mistakes in my life...I've moved on and let it go, of course and I couldn't be happier with how things have turned out for me since...we're still friends and she was recently married...as happy as I am for her, and I am genuinely happy for her, there is a lil' part of me that wonders what could have been

Catwoman....She scratch me and destroyed 7 bulidings in Gothams water front.

My most painful break up was going through a divorce back in 2002. I was blind sided by it at the time but realize the signs now as I look back. I didn't cope well for awhile. I was angry at first, very angry but never consumed alchohol. I lost a bunch of weight and eventually started dealing with it once I let go of the anger. I figured arguing over dishes was not a healthy thing to do. I didn't date for about a year and a half. I went through grief, depression, anger, all the normal stages. I remarried now and very happy. The second time around has been much better for me.