What constitutes being sexy? Is it a look, an attitude? A combination of the two? How often do you see people 'trying' to look sexy and it just looks skanky...how often do you find a person sexy that isn't trying at all? Does being sexy mean you have to exude sex or has it transcended that idea??

Thoughts??

Sexy = selling yourself effectively to the people around you.

To sell yourself you need confidence.

Sexy is sexless and ageless.

....wait.... a little kid isn't sexy, so there is an age requirement, in that regard, but you can be a sexy centurian.

and yeah... I did over use my commas... don't care org nazies!

I reckon real sexy is unintentional

if you feel sexy, other people can tell

but trying to be sexy most often doesn't work

to me it's something that requires very little effort most of the time, with some exceptions.

A hairy chest, a thick untrimmed bush growing wild, and hairy balls. As long as you got those, I don't care what your look or attitude is. If you got an ugly face, I'll put a bag over your head. If you got a shitty attitude, I'll just put a gag in your mouth.

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[Edited 1/26/11 18:10pm]

To me, sexy can be the look in someone's eyes or a facial expression... they just exude sensuality with a look without "posing".

I think a woman is sexy when she wears her clothes in a way that makes everyone- male and female- take a second glance. It could be jeans, a well-fitting dress, or sweats- but she is rocking it with confidence.

Naked does not equal sexy (IMO)

A man is sexy when... I can't explain it, because I have found men sexy for different reasons.

Sexy is too many different things. It really depends on the individual.

Like someone who exudes sexuality (not in a vulgar way) can be sexy, but then again a totally geeky dude can be sexy too. Depends on whether what is being projected "fits" the person and it doesn't come across as if they are trying (that's the worst).

ZombieKitten said:

I reckon real sexy is unintentional

if you feel sexy, other people can tell

but trying to be sexy most often doesn't work

Its being comfortable in your own skin...

Sexy may be at 1st visually inspired but if it doesnt cross over into a "feeling" for me ... it's just not there

LOTS of visually sexy people are out there but if it's just a look ... for me that fades with a quickness ~ Celebs are a perfect example ... may be cute/sexy/ sexy as hell at a glance but it then holds no weight

I connect with SEXY on the feeling level

That might be part of the reason celeb crushes / porn or whatever really don't hold my interest ... because there is no personal level that creates that "feeling" connection

I was at a party last week that was crawling with models.

They were heavily made up, wearing the skimpiest little outfits, and walked around with vacant looks on their faces.

For the most part, they were attractive, but I didn't think any of them were "sexy".

IMO sexy has everything to do with attitude and nothing at all to do with looks. You can't look sexy - - - you act sexy.

beauty = looks

sexy = attitude

You can be the most physically perfect person on the planet but still completely lack sex appeal and vice-versa.

And of course there are those who have both the looks and the sexiness...

That's how I think of it anyways...

I'll tell you right now that an exposed ill-fitting pushup bra, skin tight clothes and 15lbs of makeup is not sexy....thats skanky.

Like others have said, trying hard to look sexy usually comes off as trashy.

I've known guys that were not conventionally good looking but had some serious sex appeal. It's more about confidence and charisma. It's about mannerisms, a natural spark in the eye, little things like that that all add up.

SagsWay2low said:

Hi Dan

JustErin said:

I'll tell you right now that an exposed ill-fitting pushup bra, skin tight clothes and 15lbs of makeup is not sexy....thats skanky.

Like others have said, trying hard to look sexy usually comes off as trashy.

I've known guys that were not conventionally good looking but had some serious sex appeal. It's more about confidence and charisma. It's about mannerisms, a natural spark in the eye, little things like that that all add up.

I'll tell you what the crime against humanity is...when someone has ALL of those things...and then the dick is this.

I've considered a bunch of different ways to articulate this, but I've come up with nothing that I truly like.

Sexy just... is. It's an aggregate of qualities -- could be part looks, part competencies, part attitude, part imperfections, even in part the mythology (whether they had anything truly to do with creating it or not) around a person -- that make me want to experience them until I'm satisfied. Occasionally people can actively achieve this, but I agree that usually sexiness comes off as inadvertent.

johnart said:

JustErin said:

I'll tell you right now that an exposed ill-fitting pushup bra, skin tight clothes and 15lbs of makeup is not sexy....thats skanky.

Like others have said, trying hard to look sexy usually comes off as trashy.

I've known guys that were not conventionally good looking but had some serious sex appeal. It's more about confidence and charisma. It's about mannerisms, a natural spark in the eye, little things like that that all add up.

I'll tell you what the crime against humanity is...when someone has ALL of those things...and then the dick is this.

oh man so true. That would really piss me off

[Edited 1/26/11 18:39pm]

Lammastide said:

I've considered a bunch of different ways to articulate this, but I've come up with nothing that I truly like.

Sexy just... is. It's an aggregate of qualities -- could be part looks, part competencies, part attitude, part imperfections, even in part the mythology (whether they had anything truly to do with creating it or not) around a person -- that make me want to experience them until I'm satisfied. Occasionally people can actively achieve this, but I agree that usually sexiness comes off as inadvertent.

Nicely put!

(esp. the bold line!)

Acrylic said:

There has to be actual sex behind the thought.

Take Lady Gaga for example, there is no sex there, she is completely sexless, despite being practically naked most of the time. There is calculated intent there, but it's nothing to do with SEX.

ZombieKitten said:

There has to be actual sex behind the thought.

Take Lady Gaga for example, there is no sex there, she is completely sexless, despite being practically naked most of the time. There is calculated intent there, but it's nothing to do with SEX.

In this respect, then, do you think sexiness is in the eye of the beholder?

[Edited 1/26/11 19:12pm]

ZombieKitten said:

There has to be actual sex behind the thought.

Take Lady Gaga for example, there is no sex there, she is completely sexless, despite being practically naked most of the time. There is calculated intent there, but it's nothing to do with SEX.

her persona is a good formula. This is why I equate it with "selling" ... because you win people over with what you have to offer. What ever "it" is that you possess, if people like it, they will want it.

Not with intent but a natural way of winning people over. Like others have mentioned, charm, charisma, personality, vibe etc. effortlessly used to attract.

paintedlady said:

ZombieKitten said:

There has to be actual sex behind the thought.

Take Lady Gaga for example, there is no sex there, she is completely sexless, despite being practically naked most of the time. There is calculated intent there, but it's nothing to do with SEX.

her persona is a good formula. This is why I equate it with "selling" ... because you win people over with what you have to offer. What ever "it" is that you possess, if people like it, they will want it.

Not with intent but a natural way of winning people over. Like others have mentioned, charm, charisma, personality, vibe etc. effortlessly used to attract.

she makes no secret that all she does is to feed the fame machine - sex, controversy etc all to stay in the public eye

ZombieKitten said:

paintedlady said:

her persona is a good formula. This is why I equate it with "selling" ... because you win people over with what you have to offer. What ever "it" is that you possess, if people like it, they will want it.

Not with intent but a natural way of winning people over. Like others have mentioned, charm, charisma, personality, vibe etc. effortlessly used to attract.

she makes no secret that all she does is to feed the fame machine - sex, controversy etc all to stay in the public eye

Fame requires nothing less than just that.

paintedlady said:

ZombieKitten said:

she makes no secret that all she does is to feed the fame machine - sex, controversy etc all to stay in the public eye

Fame requires nothing less than just that.

you gotta be in it to win it! constantly oiling that machine

Lammastide said:

ZombieKitten said:

There has to be actual sex behind the thought.

Take Lady Gaga for example, there is no sex there, she is completely sexless, despite being practically naked most of the time. There is calculated intent there, but it's nothing to do with SEX.

In this respect, then, do you think sexiness is in the eye of the beholder?

Possibly, because she says she is being sexy, that her videos are sexy, but I don't know anyone who finds her so!