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Some things I want to know... Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, "I think I'll squeeze these dangly things here, and drink whatever comes out?"
Who was the first one who thought that the white thing that came from a hen's butt looked edible? Why do toasters have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp which no decent human being would eat? If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a song about him? Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the carpool lane? If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of coconut, why can't he fix a hole in a boat? Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but don't point to their crotch when they ask where the bathroom is? Why does your OB-GYN leave the room when you get undressed if they are going to look up there anyway? Why does goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both dogs! What do you call male ballerinas? Why ARE Trix only for kids? If Wile E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that Acme crap, why didn't he just buy dinner? If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests? If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, then what is baby oil made from? Is Disney World the only people trap operated by a mouse? Why do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune? Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet Soup? Why is it that when someone tells you that there are over a billion stars in the universe, you believe them, but if they tell you there is wet paint somewhere, you have to touch it to make sure? ---------------------------------
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If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, then what is baby oil made from?
You call it corn, my people call it Mays! | |
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DOLPHINA said: If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, then what is baby oil made from?
You call it corn, my people call it Mays! or Maise ---------------------------------
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Dolphins cant spell.  | |
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DOLPHINA said: Dolphins cant spell.
but they sure swim well!  (ps: this is not a bump)---------------------------------
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these are some funny ass questions. i needed a good laugh. i just found out my account is back up too. | |
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jthad1129 said: Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, "I think I'll squeeze these dangly things here, and drink whatever comes out?"
-Probably some cow pervert...thank God for perverts huh? Who was the first one who thought that the white thing that came from a hen's butt looked edible? -Me...I mean...er... Why do toasters have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp which no decent human being would eat? -I only use 'high' on bagels. But otherwise, who likes burnt toast? If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a song about him? -Cuz the master's gone away...not sure why. Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the carpool lane? -Yes, but not sure a hearse wants to beat traffic, but it's possible. If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of coconut, why can't he fix a hole in a boat? -I thought the radio was an actual radio, but yeah, why the hell didn't they just fix their boat instead of building those crappy rafts. Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but don't point to their crotch when they ask where the bathroom is? -I do, and I point to my mouth at Subway when I want a sub. Why does your OB-GYN leave the room when you get undressed if they are going to look up there anyway? -I totally agree. I wouldn't leave the room for a sec. Why does goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both dogs! -They're different kinds of dogs...duh-h. 
What do you call male ballerinas? -Ballerinos. Really, I think they just call them all dancers or soloists now. Why ARE Trix only for kids? -That damn rabbit spoiled it for the rest of us. If Wile E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that Acme crap, why didn't he just buy dinner? -Cuz he knew they'd never write a cartoon about a coyote who buys his dinner. He really was a suuuper genius. If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests? -Testicl...hey, nice try. If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, then what is baby oil made from? -If I told you, I'd have to kill ya. Is Disney World the only people trap operated by a mouse? -Checking my files...yes. Why do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune? -Cuz the composer of Twinkle Twinkle Little Star didn't own the masters to his songs. Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet Soup? -About as much as foreigners. Why is it that when someone tells you that there are over a billion stars in the universe, you believe them, but if they tell you there is wet paint somewhere, you have to touch it to make sure? -We nod yes to the stars becuz we want you to keep painting. :LOL: "Great dancers are not great because of their technique, they are great because of their passion" -- Martha Graham | |
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XNY said: jthad1129 said: If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a song about him?
-Cuz the master's gone away...not sure why.touch it to make sure? It's a song sung by a slave to celebrate the fact that his master was bitten by the blue tail fly and died. So Jimmy crackin corn is not a big deal anymore... the bigger deal is the fact that the master's gone for good. "That...magic, the start of something revolutionary-the Minneapolis Sound, we should cherish it and not punish prince for not being able to replicate it."-Dreamshaman32 | |
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XNY said:[quote] jthad1129 said: Why do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune? -Cuz the composer of Twinkle Twinkle Little Star didn't own the masters to his songs.  ---------------------------------
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NuPwrSoul said: XNY said: jthad1129 said: If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a song about him?
-Cuz the master's gone away...not sure why.touch it to make sure?-??? It's a song sung by a slave to celebrate the fact that his master was bitten by the blue tail fly and died. So Jimmy crackin corn is not a big deal anymore... the bigger deal is the fact that the master's gone for good. "The horse he run, he jump, he pitch And throw my master in the ditch He died, and the jury wondered why The verdict was the blue tail fly." --I really wonder what the song was about or how it survived so long. Scary how recent slavery was, compared to European history and such, and we seem to have forgotten so much. "Great dancers are not great because of their technique, they are great because of their passion" -- Martha Graham | |
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jthad1129 said: Why ARE Trix only for kids?
Probably because General Mills are some sadistic bastards in suits! Let the fucking bunny have some CEREAL!!! I really feel for Lucky the Leprechan too...  Fear is the mind-killer. | |
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