Cerebus said:

MoniGram said:

I just asked a Human Resource Professional about your issue....he said that you need to sit down with her and say that you need to talk to her about a delicate issue, and bring up her personal hygiene issue. You need to explain that there has been complaints concerning the amount of perfume she wears to cover up the body odor and the body odor itself. You need to explain to her in a kind way that she needs to address these issues.

He said that if by possible she brings up that she is on medication that is causing the issues or it's because of her weight, that she needs to either prove that she is on this medication with documentation from a Dr. or get any medical issues resolved that might be causing the issue.

If you have a Human Resource Dept in your company it might be a good idea to talk to them as well before you talk to her. You wouldn't want to do or say something that could be used against you.

Wish you the best of luck on this delicate matter.

Very good advice. But if her company has a good HR department they would/should be handling it themselves. I don't know what scriptgirls position in the company is, but for a boss to pass this to a boss who then passed it to her to talk about is not what I would call approaching it as a delicate matter. I'd call that passing the buck.

She mentioned that her company really doesn't have an HR dept. I agree the boss really passed the buck, and it should have been handle by one of the two bosses she mentions in her original post.

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I had the same problem with a colleague of mine years ago and tried my best to avoid her presence.I thought about ways to tell her about it but I really didn´t know how to let her know without hurting her feelings, and her husband never seemed to have a problem with her various nasty smells so I just remained silent.

Good luck.

PS: The pic above is just something I saw somewhere and NOT the one I mentioned in my post.

Just reminded me of your colleague, that´s all.

a little late, but, since your boss passed the buck to you (totally unfair), I hope you can at least get the boss' boss in there as witness/back up.

good luck!

1) how would you feel if others felt this way about you. how would you like to be told?

probably discreetly, tactfully and with as few words as possible because it's not only embarassing to you, but the other party involved. This is a time for Scriptgirl to grow, and get experience in handling sensitive matters. It may help you further on in your career.

2) I agree that having a co-worker witness the conversation is a good idea, if you can arrange it. If not, tell your boss that you spoke to a friend who works in HR, and for your own protection, you a) shouldn't be the one to tell Estelle because it's not your responsibility, and b) you'll be happy to tell Estelle, in your bosses office with your boss as witness, or c) better yet, tell your boss that you'll be a witness for your boss to tell her. Tell your boss also, that another friend who is an attorney advised you that legally, you're putting yourself in jeopardy of a defamation of character suit, and will the company hire an attorney to defend you in such a case? if not, then you're not going to do what you've been asked.

3) If your boss is out of town, you can put it tactfully to your boss an an email with a read attachment, so you're covering your tracks.

I freelance in an office with someone who desperately needs this talking-to. Ugh. With her, I have no idea if it's the front door or the back door that's gone rancid; I just know to hold my breath whenever she comes around.

I'm really proud of the all the serious responses and helpful advice on this one.

It had such potential to take a turn for the worse and you all

stayed mature with your responses.

Shocking...and a little disappointing.

(Erin gave me a laugh, though. Thx, girl!)

Efan said:

I freelance in an office with someone who desperately needs this talking-to. Ugh. With her, I have no idea if it's the front door or the back door that's gone rancid; I just know to hold my breath whenever she comes around.

Honey, you'd know if it was the front door.

You'd know.

JustErin said:

luv4u said:

She might have a medical problem and cannot help it.

So? She still stinks.

Exactly. And it's unfair to the co-wotkers, having to put up with that mess for eight hours a day. Fuck that.

Maybe you should NOT mention her body odor, but focus on the huge amounts of perfume she wears? Then she might open up about any hygiene issues when explaining why she wears so much perfume? This is going to be awkward no matter what. Nobody wants to be told that they smell.

At the convenience store near my house, there are these two emo sci-fi geeks that work there who apparently haven't bathed in years. The smell is so foul and the store is so small that you can't escape the smell. It's disgusting. Do people not realize they smell or do they just not care? I wear deodorant and cologne thank you very much!

If she's a large woman (as you say), she may not be able to reach what needs washing...

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MidniteMagnet said:

At the convenience store near my house, there are these two emo sci-fi geeks that work there who apparently haven't bathed in years. The smell is so foul and the store is so small that you can't escape the smell. It's disgusting. Do people not realize they smell or do they just not care? I wear deodorant and cologne thank you very much!

They just don't care. I mean, if everyone around them notices the smell, they know it too.

It's even worse on a crowded subway, because you're trapped with nowhere to move.

johnart said:

Efan said:

I freelance in an office with someone who desperately needs this talking-to. Ugh. With her, I have no idea if it's the front door or the back door that's gone rancid; I just know to hold my breath whenever she comes around.

Honey, you'd know if it was the front door.

You'd know.

See, I feel like I do know. But sometimes I feel like it's both. Like on summer days when she wears a skirt.

Efan said:

johnart said:

Honey, you'd know if it was the front door.

You'd know.

See, I feel like I do know. But sometimes I feel like it's both. Like on summer days when she wears a skirt.

Does it start not so great and then hits you like your knees buckle and you need to sit down?

Or the other way around?
Which way is the wind blowing from?

johnart said:

Efan said:

See, I feel like I do know. But sometimes I feel like it's both. Like on summer days when she wears a skirt.

Does it start not so great and then hits you like your knees buckle and you need to sit down?

Or the other way around?
Which way is the wind blowing from?

Lawd, I'm gonna lose my breakfast thinking about this. But yeah, knees buckle and I turn green and I feel like I've been punched hard right in the face.

yes like luv4u said take it very gentaly. I have a slight issue myself that can cause me to lose my manners so to speak. (botched surgury) And it also sometimes well it is not important.

But my hygine is otherwise great. But sometimes...

purplemookiebut said:

i can't wait to hear the outcome of this

this is about as fun as TotalANXiousNESS's topic last week!

Efan said:

johnart said:

Does it start not so great and then hits you like your knees buckle and you need to sit down?

Or the other way around?
Which way is the wind blowing from?

Lawd, I'm gonna lose my breakfast thinking about this. But yeah, knees buckle and I turn green and I feel like I've been punched hard right in the face.

Catch of the day. Front porch.

when i was a teenager i as working at acme and this old lady used to come in. one of my coworkers ran after her with a lysol spray can. thats just mean

someone said focus on the perfume. say it has been an issue and ask that she reduce how much she uses.

but BO like any order, even if it is a medical issue, is something that can be addressed. It will embarrass her but maybe that is what is needed. As chances are she is just not bathing well or often enough.

I don't mean to sound naive here, but what is the medical issue where you can't help smelling like poop?

CallMeCarrie said:

I'm really proud of the all the serious responses and helpful advice on this one.

It had such potential to take a turn for the worse and you all

stayed mature with your responses.

Shocking...and a little disappointing.

(Erin gave me a laugh, though. Thx, girl!)

(For the most part at least)

Efan said:

I don't mean to sound naive here, but what is the medical issue where you can't help smelling like poop?

I remember one of my great-uncles had a colostomy bag due to colon cancer and he always was dowsed in cologne. I don't know if that was just his own self-consciousness or if there is actually a detectable smell if you have one.

Some conditions could cause uncontrollable/or hard to control flatullance.

Other than that all I know of is Nasty-sitis.

Efan said:

I don't mean to sound naive here, but what is the medical issue where you can't help smelling like poop?

Okay I have to at that one.

Efan said:

I don't mean to sound naive here, but what is the medical issue where you can't help smelling like poop?

well for one leakage or Anal fissures or Hemorrhoids or other things like open sores can have a smell similar to poop. there are a variety of infections that can also make one smell bad. but odds are, it is poor hygiene.

even if it is medical, often hygiene can help more that any attempt to cover it up with fragrances.

johnart said:

Efan said:

I don't mean to sound naive here, but what is the medical issue where you can't help smelling like poop?

I remember one of my great-uncles had a colostomy bag due to colon cancer and he always was dowsed in cologne. I don't know if that was just his own self-consciousness or if there is actually a detectable smell if you have one.

Some conditions could cause uncontrollable/or hard to control flatullance.

Other than that all I know of is Nasty-sitis.

See, colostomy bag is what I thought of, too. But in this day and age, don't you think they would have come up with a very hygienic one? I hope to God and Cher that I never, ever have to find out the answer to that question, but I would assume that technological breakthroughs would allow us to invent a colostomy bag that doesn't reek.

I mean, somehow Cinnabon finds a way to pipe their delicious aroma all the way through the whole mall. So I know the technology to produce pleasant smells exists.

OnlyNDaUsa said:

Efan said:

I don't mean to sound naive here, but what is the medical issue where you can't help smelling like poop?

well for one leakage or Anal fissures or Hemorrhoids or other things like open sores can have a smell similar to poop. there are a variety of infections that can also make one smell bad. but odds are, it is poor hygiene.

even if it is medical, often hygiene can help more that any attempt to cover it up with fragrances.

Ugh. Anytime someone starts marveling at the "miracle of the human body," I just want to scream,"It's a freaking mess! It's not a miracle at all."

Efan said:

johnart said:

I remember one of my great-uncles had a colostomy bag due to colon cancer and he always was dowsed in cologne. I don't know if that was just his own self-consciousness or if there is actually a detectable smell if you have one.

Some conditions could cause uncontrollable/or hard to control flatullance.

Other than that all I know of is Nasty-sitis.

See, colostomy bag is what I thought of, too. But in this day and age, don't you think they would have come up with a very hygienic one? I hope to God and Cher that I never, ever have to find out the answer to that question, but I would assume that technological breakthroughs would allow us to invent a colostomy bag that doesn't reek.

I mean, somehow Cinnabon finds a way to pipe their delicious aroma all the way through the whole mall. So I know the technology to produce pleasant smells exists.

my uncle that died 15 years ago had one too and I never noticed any oder. I did notice he would play with it, squishing it and stuff. He fought the battle against cancer well but in the end it took him.

I want to thank you all so much for this-you guys have been so helpful. I thought about this all last night and right before I went to bed, I realized TWO important things-1) I have options and 2) there is a LOT more to this than meets the eye.

One, I am well liked at my job. I get my work done efficiently and ahead of schedule. Two, I am one of only two people at my job that is well liked by a top exec at our parent company. In fact, when he calls he will only talk to me or one other person, "Jimmy". Since "Jimmy" travels a lot, I am often put on the phone to deal with this exec, who is very touchy. In fact, a few years before I came to work at the company, this exec had a good rapport with someone in my dept who was fired. The person that fired them was also fired on the order of this exec. Since this exec is not going anywhere anytime soon, my job is safe.'

Two, "Estelle", the coworker I need to talk to, has a job that is coveted by several people at work, a job that these people don't have a lot of experience doing-which means that the company would have to pay them less to do the job that Estelle does now. One of the people lusting after this gig is a "pet" of one of the bigwigs here.

This is just something for me to consider. My boss's boss will be in later today. Leaving for work-will let you all know how it goes.

Good luck. It's no way they would make me tell her.. I can't handle situations like that at all