Hey. So that has 'bad' idea written all over it. Just sayin'.

tinaz said:

StillGotIt said:

you have me mixed up with somebody else. absolutely NO insecurities here....just general curiousity and a hello. I am not lying to myself or anything. I am not some skank looking to be a mistress. I am in a very good and healthy marriage....19 years strong. and if you knew what my husband looked like.... you would't doubt me for a nanosecond

Please....dont add anything onto my situation other than what I have typed. I know that sometimes people do that...apply their own experiences.

One cannot make a comment such as this without adding a pic of said hottie..

oh no...i cant share my man candy

StillGotIt said:

Well.....I know it sounds all ego like, but I swear, its not about my ego. Its about showing somebody some long overdue appreciation......I've let too many people go by and not told them about the moments in life where they did something good that impacted my own life. And believe me, I'm not talking about sex or anything. Good grief...if it was sex I wanted, this would NOT be the guy I'd be trying to rekindle something with.

For what its worth...I also called my first grade teacher a few years ago. Why? Because I've never had the chance to in person, I never ran into her. She was and remains a hero in my heart, and she never knew because I wasnt the type who would vocalize much back then. So I wanted to tell her, and I looked her up and actually got her phone number and had a single conversation with her. She went above and beyond....our house burned down (There were 14 of us living in the home) and she actually took me into her home with her elderly mom. I just wanted to take a minute and tell her that she was my hero.

As for this guy, he was a good person, he was a good friend, but because of the intense relationship, the friendship had to go out the window with it. I guess a part of me would be flattered if he had a lifesize tattoo of me (kidding for those of you who take things too seriously) ....no malice or romantic interest.....just saying hello, I'm alive and finding out how he is doing would be heartwarming. Its the same conversation I would have if we passed one another on the sidewalk. It doesn't mean I'm looking to fuck. Just wanted to say hello, thank you and a "wellness check".

Its not egotistical or devious...i dont even see any "can of worms" to concern myself with......folk are reading stuff into this waaaaay to much....

Y'know, it's really too bad Hallmark never came out with a line of thank-you cards for teenagers to send to their statutory rapists.

Genesia said:

StillGotIt said:

Well.....I know it sounds all ego like, but I swear, its not about my ego. Its about showing somebody some long overdue appreciation......I've let too many people go by and not told them about the moments in life where they did something good that impacted my own life. And believe me, I'm not talking about sex or anything. Good grief...if it was sex I wanted, this would NOT be the guy I'd be trying to rekindle something with.

For what its worth...I also called my first grade teacher a few years ago. Why? Because I've never had the chance to in person, I never ran into her. She was and remains a hero in my heart, and she never knew because I wasnt the type who would vocalize much back then. So I wanted to tell her, and I looked her up and actually got her phone number and had a single conversation with her. She went above and beyond....our house burned down (There were 14 of us living in the home) and she actually took me into her home with her elderly mom. I just wanted to take a minute and tell her that she was my hero.

As for this guy, he was a good person, he was a good friend, but because of the intense relationship, the friendship had to go out the window with it. I guess a part of me would be flattered if he had a lifesize tattoo of me (kidding for those of you who take things too seriously) ....no malice or romantic interest.....just saying hello, I'm alive and finding out how he is doing would be heartwarming. Its the same conversation I would have if we passed one another on the sidewalk. It doesn't mean I'm looking to fuck. Just wanted to say hello, thank you and a "wellness check".

Its not egotistical or devious...i dont even see any "can of worms" to concern myself with......folk are reading stuff into this waaaaay to much....

Y'know, it's really too bad Hallmark never came out with a line of thank-you cards for teenagers to send to their statutory rapists.

She stated earlier that she's 40 now, so she's not a teenager.

That doesn't excuse what he did in the past, let's just hope he decided not to go that route anymore after her but it is the PAST.

KidaDynamite said:

Genesia said:

Y'know, it's really too bad Hallmark never came out with a line of thank-you cards for teenagers to send to their statutory rapists.

She stated earlier that she's 40 now, so she's not a teenager.

That doesn't excuse what he did in the past, let's just hope he decided not to go that route anymore after her but it is the PAST.

I know she's 40 now. I was referring specifically to the part I bolded.

As for it being in the past - tell it to Roman Polanski.

StillGotIt said:

and for the record...if a 26 year old was dating my 16 year old....I would be in jail for murder................

[Edited 1/2/11 23:45pm]

I'm 18 and I went out with a 26 year old...

Genesia said:

StillGotIt said:

Well.....I know it sounds all ego like, but I swear, its not about my ego. Its about showing somebody some long overdue appreciation......I've let too many people go by and not told them about the moments in life where they did something good that impacted my own life. And believe me, I'm not talking about sex or anything. Good grief...if it was sex I wanted, this would NOT be the guy I'd be trying to rekindle something with.

For what its worth...I also called my first grade teacher a few years ago. Why? Because I've never had the chance to in person, I never ran into her. She was and remains a hero in my heart, and she never knew because I wasnt the type who would vocalize much back then. So I wanted to tell her, and I looked her up and actually got her phone number and had a single conversation with her. She went above and beyond....our house burned down (There were 14 of us living in the home) and she actually took me into her home with her elderly mom. I just wanted to take a minute and tell her that she was my hero.

As for this guy, he was a good person, he was a good friend, but because of the intense relationship, the friendship had to go out the window with it. I guess a part of me would be flattered if he had a lifesize tattoo of me (kidding for those of you who take things too seriously) ....no malice or romantic interest.....just saying hello, I'm alive and finding out how he is doing would be heartwarming. Its the same conversation I would have if we passed one another on the sidewalk. It doesn't mean I'm looking to fuck. Just wanted to say hello, thank you and a "wellness check".

Its not egotistical or devious...i dont even see any "can of worms" to concern myself with......folk are reading stuff into this waaaaay to much....

Y'know, it's really too bad Hallmark never came out with a line of thank-you cards for teenagers to send to their statutory rapists.

*faints dead*

StillGotIt said:

and for the record...if a 26 year old was dating my 16 year old....I would be in jail for murder................

[Edited 1/2/11 23:45pm]

Really?? Cause what you managed to do all those years ago seems like pretty good proof that 16 year olds are sometimes not so much the victim in these things as they're always made out to be.

[Edited 1/4/11 6:41am]

Genesia said:

StillGotIt said:

Well.....I know it sounds all ego like, but I swear, its not about my ego. Its about showing somebody some long overdue appreciation......I've let too many people go by and not told them about the moments in life where they did something good that impacted my own life. And believe me, I'm not talking about sex or anything. Good grief...if it was sex I wanted, this would NOT be the guy I'd be trying to rekindle something with.

For what its worth...I also called my first grade teacher a few years ago. Why? Because I've never had the chance to in person, I never ran into her. She was and remains a hero in my heart, and she never knew because I wasnt the type who would vocalize much back then. So I wanted to tell her, and I looked her up and actually got her phone number and had a single conversation with her. She went above and beyond....our house burned down (There were 14 of us living in the home) and she actually took me into her home with her elderly mom. I just wanted to take a minute and tell her that she was my hero.

As for this guy, he was a good person, he was a good friend, but because of the intense relationship, the friendship had to go out the window with it. I guess a part of me would be flattered if he had a lifesize tattoo of me (kidding for those of you who take things too seriously) ....no malice or romantic interest.....just saying hello, I'm alive and finding out how he is doing would be heartwarming. Its the same conversation I would have if we passed one another on the sidewalk. It doesn't mean I'm looking to fuck. Just wanted to say hello, thank you and a "wellness check".

Its not egotistical or devious...i dont even see any "can of worms" to concern myself with......folk are reading stuff into this waaaaay to much....

Y'know, it's really too bad Hallmark never came out with a line of thank-you cards for teenagers to send to their statutory rapists.

:fallout: Geneisia....dayum that was a good one! :fallout:

johnart said:

StillGotIt said:

and for the record...if a 26 year old was dating my 16 year old....I would be in jail for murder................

[Edited 1/2/11 23:45pm]

Really?? Cause what you managed to do all those years ago seems like pretty good proof that 16 year olds are sometimes not so much the victim in these things as they're always made out to be.

[Edited 1/4/11 6:41am]

I agree with you....but I still feel that the majority of the time, young people are manipulated into situations by the older party. If I were him, I would have just fired my irresistable hot to trot hormonal hot ass.....nowadays, that would cause a multi-million dollar law suit and some jail time.

[Edited 1/4/11 10:26am]

Hmmmmm....I wonder what the age of consent is in my state

got this off of a quasi-legal site. Have not verified its current accuracy. All I am thinking of is that Rick James song...17.

[Edited 1/4/11 10:31am]

Ottensen said:

Genesia said:

Y'know, it's really too bad Hallmark never came out with a line of thank-you cards for teenagers to send to their statutory rapists.

*faints dead*

Long overdue appreciation.... what?

hmmmm.....when I consider Roman Polanski.......I must ask...was I molested but I just enjoyed it? (I totally do have a kinky side to me that my spouse cant enough of).

When I was 16, I never considered us to be doing anything wrong...we were so very public and traveling and stuff. But now, as a parent.....like I said. 1st degree murder for me if it was my kid.

Seriously folks...I dont have a bad memory or a regret. I had a great time with this guy...

StillGotIt said:

hmmmm.....when I consider Roman Polanski.......I must ask...was I molested but I just enjoyed it? (I totally do have a kinky side to me that my spouse cant enough of).

When I was 16, I never considered us to be doing anything wrong...we were so very public and traveling and stuff. But now, as a parent.....like I said. 1st degree murder for me if it was my kid.

Seriously folks...I dont have a bad memory or a regret. I had a great time with this guy...

well, there's a difference between statutory rape and just plain rape, at least in my mind!

StillGotIt said:

johnart said:

Really?? Cause what you managed to do all those years ago seems like pretty good proof that 16 year olds are sometimes not so much the victim in these things as they're always made out to be.

[Edited 1/4/11 6:41am]

I agree with you....but I still feel that the majority of the time, young people are manipulated into situations by the older party. If I were him, I would have just fired my irresistable hot to trot hormonal hot ass.....nowadays, that would cause a multi-million dollar law suit and some jail time.

[Edited 1/4/11 10:26am]

I dunno. It's a touchy thing. If a dude fires an underage hot chick for trying to seduce him folk go whispering he wanted to get her and she didn't give the time of day. Then of course Nowadays there's also the triflin' ones who will either just go crazed from rejection and accuse the dude even if not true or do it for 15 min of fame/attention and extortion.

Not saying there's no scummy dudes out there too.

StillGotIt said:

I was a young girl....I seduced him because a friend said I couldn't get him......

Not a nice motivation.

Tremolina said:

StillGotIt said:

I was a young girl....I seduced him because a friend said I couldn't get him......

Not a nice motivation.

Yea...I did a few not so nice things when I was 16, and I had times when I was really nice....for me and my friend, it was all in fun....like most things adolescents do we were not thinking about consequences.

StillGotIt said:

tinaz said:

One cannot make a comment such as this without adding a pic of said hottie..

oh no...i cant share my man candy

tinaz said:

StillGotIt said:

oh no...i cant share my man candy

yeah...

Genesia said:

StillGotIt said:

Well.....I know it sounds all ego like, but I swear, its not about my ego. Its about showing somebody some long overdue appreciation......I've let too many people go by and not told them about the moments in life where they did something good that impacted my own life. And believe me, I'm not talking about sex or anything. Good grief...if it was sex I wanted, this would NOT be the guy I'd be trying to rekindle something with.

For what its worth...I also called my first grade teacher a few years ago. Why? Because I've never had the chance to in person, I never ran into her. She was and remains a hero in my heart, and she never knew because I wasnt the type who would vocalize much back then. So I wanted to tell her, and I looked her up and actually got her phone number and had a single conversation with her. She went above and beyond....our house burned down (There were 14 of us living in the home) and she actually took me into her home with her elderly mom. I just wanted to take a minute and tell her that she was my hero.

As for this guy, he was a good person, he was a good friend, but because of the intense relationship, the friendship had to go out the window with it. I guess a part of me would be flattered if he had a lifesize tattoo of me (kidding for those of you who take things too seriously) ....no malice or romantic interest.....just saying hello, I'm alive and finding out how he is doing would be heartwarming. Its the same conversation I would have if we passed one another on the sidewalk. It doesn't mean I'm looking to fuck. Just wanted to say hello, thank you and a "wellness check".

Its not egotistical or devious...i dont even see any "can of worms" to concern myself with......folk are reading stuff into this waaaaay to much....

Y'know, it's really too bad Hallmark never came out with a line of thank-you cards for teenagers to send to their statutory rapists.

Mother fucker that was good!

tinaz said:

StillGotIt said:

oh no...i cant share my man candy

okay....I'm sorry. But the real reason is I dont have a scanner.......

Its official....the "can of worms" has been opened......

I sent a friendly happy new year.....he actually sent me a FB friend request and I decided accept. So, he asked me how life has been in the past 20 years, and obviously checked out my profile, called me beautiful and complimented me on my precious children etc. He said has been thinking about me and was happy to hear from me

StillGotIt said:

Its official....the "can of worms" has been opened......

I sent a friendly happy new year.....he actually sent me a FB friend request and I decided accept. So, he asked me how life has been in the past 20 years, and obviously checked out my profile, called me beautiful and complimented me on my precious children etc. He said has been thinking about me and was happy to hear from me

So far so good...

Don't let it get outta hand though...these things have a way of spirally outta control really fast.

StillGotIt said:

Its official....the "can of worms" has been opened......

I sent a friendly happy new year.....he actually sent me a FB friend request and I decided accept. So, he asked me how life has been in the past 20 years, and obviously checked out my profile, called me beautiful and complimented me on my precious children etc. He said has been thinking about me and was happy to hear from me

I've looked up many exes and friended them. I guess it is an ego thing. I was being nosey and looked them up and I have definitely moved on up the food chain!

My ex from age 16 was 19, so I guess he could have also been in trouble? Nah, don't think so!

If it were me in your shoes I know my nosey ass would be right up in there. And yes, being nosey has got me in to deep shit many times!

please....elaborate on the "deep shit" (from one "nosy bitch" to another)

TotalANXiousNESS said:

Genesia said:

Y'know, it's really too bad Hallmark never came out with a line of thank-you cards for teenagers to send to their statutory rapists.

Mother fucker that was good!

That's why I fainted in my previous post.

StillGotIt said:

please....elaborate on the "deep shit" (from one "nosy bitch" to another)

Now that I friended an ex that was almost like an ex husband in my eyes, his mother found me. She still pounds him for not working it out with me. She calls me and tells me that his babies are supposed to be mine. The HELL they are! But um, yeah, I have had colorful notes from girlfriends and wives. Some of these guys have relationships/marriages that need work. My nosey ass was inappropriate to even just say hello and catch up a bit and leave it at that. Which is exactly what I did.

I really just wanted to see their current wives/gf's and their lives. Very vain and insecure of me, I know.

See? insecurity. Right now, I feel that I must de-friend them. There is NO need for them to be there.

yo, there is no need to contact him.

good, bad or indifferent, dude has moved on and has been living his life for a lot of years.

so, it seems, have you. contacting him serves no purpose. even the ones you mentioned sound like rationalization to me, but I'm a total cynic, so there's that.

the past is just that.....the past. healing has taken place already. it's not up to you to decide whether it has or not. him contacting you is one thing, but this is the other way around. regardless of your well intentions, don't choose to bring turmoil into either one of your lives at this point. You are a grown adult and there's no point in bringing up teenage feelings at this point in any setting other than therapy.

JerseyKRS said:

yo, there is no need to contact him.

good, bad or indifferent, dude has moved on and has been living his life for a lot of years.

so, it seems, have you. contacting him serves no purpose. even the ones you mentioned sound like rationalization to me, but I'm a total cynic, so there's that.

the past is just that.....the past. healing has taken place already. it's not up to you to decide whether it has or not. him contacting you is one thing, but this is the other way around. regardless of your well intentions, don't choose to bring turmoil into either one of your lives at this point. You are a grown adult and there's no point in bringing up teenage feelings at this point in any setting other than therapy.

sound advice