Lammastide said:

Deadflow3r, please help me to be clear: Are you saying you would date not only a bisexual man, but one whom you know to be sleeping with other women and/or men -- perhaps even despite your not liking this -- because you think at age 50 you can't find a more ideal partner?

I must openly admit that I am very ignorant about the adult dating scene. Is it truly that though out there?

[Edited 1/7/11 12:14pm]

For women over a certain age it sucks monkey balls, period. Statistics prove it and given that the average life span of a man is less than that of a woman it only gets worse. Seems that in a nursing home men have quite the field day if they so choose, lol.

Deadflow3r said:

Lammastide said:

Deadflow3r, please help me to be clear: Are you saying you would date not only a bisexual man, but one whom you know to be sleeping with other women and/or men -- perhaps even despite your not liking this -- because you think at age 50 you can't find a more ideal partner?

I must openly admit that I am very ignorant about the adult dating scene. Is it truly that though out there?

[Edited 1/7/11 12:14pm]

For women over a certain age it sucks monkey balls, period. Statistics prove it and given that the average life span of a man is less than that of a woman it only gets worse. Seems that in a nursing home men have quite the field day if they so choose, lol.

Well, I hope you keep your heart, mind and eyes open. (And no jokes about legs! ) I'm sure there are some men out there on whom you'd not have to "settle."

Your nursing home joke is funny, but not too far off, from what I've seen. My father died of Alzheimer's when he was 89, having lived the last 1 1/2 years of his life in a nursing facility. He remained quite spry, funny, good-looking and physically fit until very near his death, and he had darned near a harem of women -- patients and staff, all ages -- doting all over him. On one occasion, two female patients needed to be physically separated because they were about to fight over him! And they knew he was a married man! It was actually kind of funny.

Deadflow3r said:

morningsong said:

In GP at this point in my life, it'll be a no, in my 30s I'd of considered it, but not now. He'd have to be something spectacular that makes me feel spectacular to even make me wanna put in the work and time. I agree with chocolate.

Ironically I am just the opposite. In my 30's I would have never considered it. Now that I am nearing 50 I am looking at things very differently.

Yeah, ones prespective changes as they get older, mine has become more fine tuned, I guess.

Lammastide said:

Deadflow3r said:

For women over a certain age it sucks monkey balls, period. Statistics prove it and given that the average life span of a man is less than that of a woman it only gets worse. Seems that in a nursing home men have quite the field day if they so choose, lol.

Well, I hope you keep your heart, mind and eyes open. (And no jokes about legs! ) I'm sure there are some men out there on whom you'd not have to "settle."

Your nursing home joke is funny, but not too far off, from what I've seen. My father died of Alzheimer's when he was 89, having lived the last 1 1/2 years of his life in a nursing facility. He remained quite spry, funny, good-looking and physically fit until very near his death, and he had darned near a harem of women -- patients and staff, all ages -- doting all over him. On one occasion, two female patients needed to be physically separated because they were about to fight over him! And they knew he was a married man! It was actually kind of funny.

Aha, now I am awakening your understanding. Things are going to look worse for me the older I get so now I am just taking stalk and looking at all my options.

morningsong said:

Deadflow3r said:

Ironically I am just the opposite. In my 30's I would have never considered it. Now that I am nearing 50 I am looking at things very differently.

Yeah, ones prespective changes as they get older, mine has become more fine tuned, I guess.

What I am fine tuning is what is really important to ME, not what might work or not work for a friend or sister. I started to think of what did I want this man to be like beyond sex and fidelity is less important then good companionship when he is with me.

I have a friend who every single time I go over her house and her husband is home he says hi and then farts. Todd also wears muscle shirts, and is the type of guy who will never go to the theater with you. This couple does everything in jeans and t shirts. She has one dress that I know of, it is a sundress and she puts a shirt under it and makes like it's a jumper in colder months. A "fancy" restaurant to them would be "The Cheesecake Factory". Nothing horribly wrong with that but I am not fond of chain restaurants and get togethers that feature pork and beans as the main course time and time again. I know these people because their daughters are friends with my daughter.

I am not a snob, I live on less that 20,000 a year but have no desire to be a reverse snob either. So what I am looking at is what I can live without, monogamy just may be a variable for ME that isn't all that important.

I

We are talking about dating only, right?

noooooooooooooooooooooooo....even though that's one of my fantasies...

[Edited 1/13/11 19:28pm]

No.

SURPRISE.SURPRISE.SURPRISE.

I've been talking to this guy for a couple months, and we were going to start dating. So yesterday, after all the time we've been talking, he finally decides to tell me that he's not gay, he's bi-sexual, and the reason he didn't tell me sooner is because he knew how I feel about dating a bi-sexual guy. I would have rather him tell me straight up, instead of trying to use how I feel as a reason to not tell me. I wish he would've just told me straight up "I'm bi-sexual, and if you don't like it, I don't give a shit. I like you, and I know you like me. Regardless of what happened in your past, I feel I deserve a chance." If he would have said ANYTHING like that, I would have jumped all over him. But no, he decided to lead me on, like they love to do.

FUCK them all.

Hell No. There's plenty of str8 single guys out there. Some of them are even packing the heavy artillery and some of them even have MONEY! Once you settle for something that was never your first choice or once you comprimise your needs/desires out of loneliness and fear....you are asking for trouble and only the worst type of person will enter the equation.

You just need to get out more, make sure you are always looking your best, and be open to they guys in your age group because maybe they are feeling the same way you feel. Maybe they are having a hard time finding women.

Also, try dating younger. This is the age of the cougar after all.

[Edited 1/14/11 17:05pm]

Nah, I couldn't handle it.

Nope.

I don't think so

I feel for Deadflow3r and understand her frustration. I'm even older than she is, and I am experiencing the same. The only difference is that I am not looking to hook up with anyone. I guess, in a sense, I have come to grips with my celibacy and the probability that I will die single. The thing that keeps me out of trouble is the lack of a strong sex drive. I mean, yeah, I have my moments of horneyness, but that's easily remedied, and I'm good to go til the next time. For women with a strong, healthy sex drive, it can be torture.

I used to be friends with a woman my age, and she would not date any male over the age of 30. Mind you, this woman was no fox and kind of on the big side, but she kept her some dick. BUT, I think she had to realize she was being played, too. The guys she would have sex with did not take her out, buy her gifts or give her money. I do believe she might have been the one doling out the dollars. In any regard, she HAD to have sex at least 2-3 times a week, so she said. I told her she had a white liver. She thought about me, "Something wrong witchu!" when I told her I could go without sex, and had, for years. I must admit, this lack of libido on my part started after menopause, so if Deadflow3r hasn't started that change yet, perhaps her libido will lessen when the change does occur and she can relax a little. In any event, Theresa, I hope you're enjoying your Cd's.

this thread is scaring me.

no sex drive after menopause? i thought hormones were supposed to take care of that.

women are better at monogamy? on what planet? every woman i've known, myself included, have cheated. statistically, women file for divorce more than men.

older women having trouble finding mates? i only know single young women. older women are always in relationships.

DeadF my girl,

Just get cute, get out the house and get flirty. I don't care what anybody says, men are always looking for a mate and there's plenty single and lonely men out there having the same issues you have. There's probably some guy not far from you who is decent looking, employed, around your age who hasn't had a date in awhile and feels too intimidated to get back in the game. Plus, what about a long distance relationship where you see a guy once a month or something? I wouldn't normally recommend this to anyone but if you're a person that's just looking for conversation and occasional intimacy then such an arrangement might work.

u know u sexy quit playin'

ScarletScandal said:

SURPRISE.SURPRISE.SURPRISE.

I've been talking to this guy for a couple months, and we were going to start dating. So yesterday, after all the time we've been talking, he finally decides to tell me that he's not gay, he's bi-sexual, and the reason he didn't tell me sooner is because he knew how I feel about dating a bi-sexual guy. I would have rather him tell me straight up, instead of trying to use how I feel as a reason to not tell me. I wish he would've just told me straight up "I'm bi-sexual, and if you don't like it, I don't give a shit. I like you, and I know you like me. Regardless of what happened in your past, I feel I deserve a chance." If he would have said ANYTHING like that, I would have jumped all over him. But no, he decided to lead me on, like they love to do.

FUCK them all.

I am sorry this happened. How old is this guy anyway? If he is over 30 shame on him and if he is not, well I suggest you go for slightly older men. You"re too smart for dumb young guys anyway. I wish that you tell him what you told us, that had he been straight forward he would have been given a chance. Like I said, you come across as very smart and maybe intimidating to some. You have a certain confidence about you that comes throught in your posts. The guy may be intimidated by you to start off with without adding on to the fact that he is bi.

However, I get you. After your last one was humping pregos in alley ways you need to think again ESPECIALLY ABOUT TRADE. Those suckers will tell anybody anything. You should KNOW that !

Deadflow3r said:

O.K. HotGritz this is for you

I want sex, yes I do! Not conversation with a man 10 states over.

i am also getting sick of waiting for some sort of Prince Charming that may actually dig women his own age. Why not open the door a little wider? Guys that are a bit kinky and honest about it tend to have safe sex practices where as the ones who barely can admit it to themselves are the ones you have to watch out for IMO.

I have watched all the disney movies growing up and bought the whole package. I do not want to do the Denise Matthews thing and become a born again virgin and never have another sexual thought or masturbate again. i also am a little tired of being my own best friend in the sex department aswell. Would it kill me if I wasn't the only one? I think it is killing me more to think of my sex life being over when I am 49 years old!!!!!

Yes I have to look at my appearance. January is all about Feng Shue in the home. That only. After that is complete it is on to looking better etc. But I am warning you, don't be thinking you can just pick up men endlessly as a single woman. The competition is fierce the older you get.

Shyra said:

I feel for Deadflow3r and understand her frustration. I'm even older than she is, and I am experiencing the same. The only difference is that I am not looking to hook up with anyone. I guess, in a sense, I have come to grips with my celibacy and the probability that I will die single. The thing that keeps me out of trouble is the lack of a strong sex drive. I mean, yeah, I have my moments of horneyness, but that's easily remedied, and I'm good to go til the next time. For women with a strong, healthy sex drive, it can be torture.

I used to be friends with a woman my age, and she would not date any male over the age of 30. Mind you, this woman was no fox and kind of on the big side, but she kept her some dick. BUT, I think she had to realize she was being played, too. The guys she would have sex with did not take her out, buy her gifts or give her money. I do believe she might have been the one doling out the dollars. In any regard, she HAD to have sex at least 2-3 times a week, so she said. I told her she had a white liver. She thought about me, "Something wrong witchu!" when I told her I could go without sex, and had, for years. I must admit, this lack of libido on my part started after menopause, so if Deadflow3r hasn't started that change yet, perhaps her libido will lessen when the change does occur and she can relax a little. In any event, Theresa, I hope you're enjoying your Cd's.

So it was you! You were my secret santa! Why did you not sign the card ??????

Shyra said:

I feel for Deadflow3r and understand her frustration. I'm even older than she is, and I am experiencing the same. The only difference is that I am not looking to hook up with anyone. I guess, in a sense, I have come to grips with my celibacy and the probability that I will die single. The thing that keeps me out of trouble is the lack of a strong sex drive. I mean, yeah, I have my moments of horneyness, but that's easily remedied, and I'm good to go til the next time. For women with a strong, healthy sex drive, it can be torture.

I used to be friends with a woman my age, and she would not date any male over the age of 30. Mind you, this woman was no fox and kind of on the big side, but she kept her some dick. BUT, I think she had to realize she was being played, too. The guys she would have sex with did not take her out, buy her gifts or give her money. I do believe she might have been the one doling out the dollars. In any regard, she HAD to have sex at least 2-3 times a week, so she said. I told her she had a white liver. She thought about me, "Something wrong witchu!" when I told her I could go without sex, and had, for years. I must admit, this lack of libido on my part started after menopause, so if Deadflow3r hasn't started that change yet, perhaps her libido will lessen when the change does occur and she can relax a little. In any event, Theresa, I hope you're enjoying your Cd's.

Sounds like you and your friend are both pretty honest with yourselves. Your honest enough to say you just don't want or need it that bad and she is honest enough to say she does. Sounds like she isn't kidding herself into believing that these men love her and marriage is on the way. I like that. Does she just have one Guy or does she have a Monday man, Wednesday man and a Friday man kinda thing going on?

I am also poor. Truth. Therefore they ain't getting anything from me but a hot cup of Maxwell House coffee. Sex for sex. That is it.

[Edited 1/19/11 11:52am]

Deadflow3r said:

Shyra said:

I feel for Deadflow3r and understand her frustration. I'm even older than she is, and I am experiencing the same. The only difference is that I am not looking to hook up with anyone. I guess, in a sense, I have come to grips with my celibacy and the probability that I will die single. The thing that keeps me out of trouble is the lack of a strong sex drive. I mean, yeah, I have my moments of horneyness, but that's easily remedied, and I'm good to go til the next time. For women with a strong, healthy sex drive, it can be torture.

I used to be friends with a woman my age, and she would not date any male over the age of 30. Mind you, this woman was no fox and kind of on the big side, but she kept her some dick. BUT, I think she had to realize she was being played, too. The guys she would have sex with did not take her out, buy her gifts or give her money. I do believe she might have been the one doling out the dollars. In any regard, she HAD to have sex at least 2-3 times a week, so she said. I told her she had a white liver. She thought about me, "Something wrong witchu!" when I told her I could go without sex, and had, for years. I must admit, this lack of libido on my part started after menopause, so if Deadflow3r hasn't started that change yet, perhaps her libido will lessen when the change does occur and she can relax a little. In any event, Theresa, I hope you're enjoying your Cd's.

So it was you! You were my secret santa! Why did you not sign the card ??????

I thought I read somewhere in the rulz that we we supposed to keep it a secret until after everyone got their stuff and we would do it at this big reveal and do but it never happened or if it did, I missed it. In any event, go back and check the originial SS thread even though it has been locked. You will see some pictures.

Deadflow3r said:

Shyra said:

I feel for Deadflow3r and understand her frustration. I'm even older than she is, and I am experiencing the same. The only difference is that I am not looking to hook up with anyone. I guess, in a sense, I have come to grips with my celibacy and the probability that I will die single. The thing that keeps me out of trouble is the lack of a strong sex drive. I mean, yeah, I have my moments of horneyness, but that's easily remedied, and I'm good to go til the next time. For women with a strong, healthy sex drive, it can be torture.

I used to be friends with a woman my age, and she would not date any male over the age of 30. Mind you, this woman was no fox and kind of on the big side, but she kept her some dick. BUT, I think she had to realize she was being played, too. The guys she would have sex with did not take her out, buy her gifts or give her money. I do believe she might have been the one doling out the dollars. In any regard, she HAD to have sex at least 2-3 times a week, so she said. I told her she had a white liver. She thought about me, "Something wrong witchu!" when I told her I could go without sex, and had, for years. I must admit, this lack of libido on my part started after menopause, so if Deadflow3r hasn't started that change yet, perhaps her libido will lessen when the change does occur and she can relax a little. In any event, Theresa, I hope you're enjoying your Cd's.

Sounds like you and your friend are both pretty honest with yourselves. Your honest enough to say you just don't want or need it that bad and she is honest enough to say she does. Sounds like she isn't kidding herself into believing that these men love her and marriage is on the way. I like that. Does she just have one Guy or does she have a Monday man, Wednesday man and a Friday man kinda thing going on?

I am also poor. Truth. Therefore they ain't getting anything from me but a hot cup of Maxwell House coffee. Sex for sex. That is it.

[Edited 1/19/11 11:52am]

Chile, at this point I don't know what she has since we fell out years ago. I was a very good friend to her, but she turned out to be a snake. I made the mistake of lending her a great deal of money and she thought I was her private ATM or some shit.

Anyway, during the time we were friends, she would deal with one guy at a time. I think what would happen is that she would keep them until she found a "newer model" and just move 'em on outta the way. I guess what made her attractive to these guys is that she owned her home and whatever "truck" she was driving at the time. She traded in her Rodeo for a Hummer just to attract those younguns. I just didn't understand why she would let herself be used like that. BUT, I guess she's getting what she wants, too, so it's a matter of who's zoomin who.

I think her men are what ScarletScandal and Vainandy call" trade". Not straight up $$$ whores but they trade sex for using your vehicle, staying in your house, eating out of your frig, so on and so on. They probably make more money that way then if they actually put a price on their services.

Not anymore, no.

Deadflow3r said:

I think her men are what ScarletScandal and Vainandy call" trade". Not straight up $$$ whores but they trade sex for using your vehicle, staying in your house, eating out of your frig, so on and so on. They probably make more money that way then if they actually put a price on their services.

You know, I've heard that term used and didn't understand what it meant. I thought it had something to do with being on the downlow, but then it makes sense that "trade" referes to favors for sex, too. Where my gheys at? What is the correct definition of "TRADE?"