1. Always everyone you meet has good intentions towards you.

2. Be thankful for everything you get, good or bad (trust in God's plan for you)

3. All guys should grow long hair at least once when they're young.

PositivityNYC said:

Genesia said:

Let's be clear - that advice was for my 16-year-old self.

I had a terrible time in school from the time I was about 10. There were a lot of kids (boys, mostly) who were extremely mean to me - to the point of actually threatening physical violence against me. I didn't do anything to provoke it apart from doing my best in school. Every time I won a spelling bee...or had the highest score on a test...or got the lead in the class play...the abuse escalated.

My mom told me to just continue doing my best and ignore the bullies. So I did, to the extent I was able. (I was scared to death, most of the time.) I was quiet and reserved, and didn't insinuate myself anywhere I wasn't wanted. But then (of course), I was accused of being stuck up. I couldn't win.

I've often thought...if, instead of ignoring and hiding from the bullies, I had just smiled at them every day and said, "Good morning!" maybe things would have been different. Might have been worth a try, anyway.

Thanks - I'm over it.

It's a funny thing, though...

Of the two people who were the most awful to me in middle school, one (a guy) died of cancer in the past year - after losing his wife to cancer at some point before that. And when I saw the other (a woman) at a class reunion two years ago, it was obvious she'd been a meth addict at some point. (She had a very bad case of "meth mouth.")

And I thought, "Y'know...something awful probably happened in their childhoods to make them behave the way they did. And even if it didn't, they've paid for what they did - and then some." All my anger went away at that point.

johnart said:

PositivityNYC said:

You might have also tried sneakin booze into the school and offering it to them.

Oh, no - I was a good girl. [img:$uid]http://npgunderground.myfreeforum.org/images/smiles/sal/061.gif[/img:$uid]

Genesia said:

PositivityNYC said:

Thanks - I'm over it.

It's a funny thing, though...

Of the two people who were the most awful to me in middle school, one (a guy) died of cancer in the past year - after losing his wife to cancer at some point before that. And when I saw the other (a woman) at a class reunion two years ago, it was obvious she'd been a meth addict at some point. (She had a very bad case of "meth mouth.")

And I thought, "Y'know...something awful probably happened in their childhoods to make them behave the way they did. And even if it didn't, they've paid for what they did - and then some." All my anger went away at that point.

damn...

Genesia said:

johnart said:

You might have also tried sneakin booze into the school and offering it to them.

Oh, no - I was a good girl. [img:$uid]http://npgunderground.myfreeforum.org/images/smiles/sal/061.gif[/img:$uid]

he's funny....

Genesia said:

lazycrockett said:

Im sorry I don't agree with this, I see no reason to go out of your way to be nice to people who are mean to you. Fuck em and move on. Also do be so concerned bout what other people think to begin with.

Let's be clear - that advice was for my 16-year-old self.

I had a terrible time in school from the time I was about 10. There were a lot of kids (boys, mostly) who were extremely mean to me - to the point of actually threatening physical violence against me. I didn't do anything to provoke it apart from doing my best in school. Every time I won a spelling bee...or had the highest score on a test...or got the lead in the class play...the abuse escalated.

My mom told me to just continue doing my best and ignore the bullies. So I did, to the extent I was able. (I was scared to death, most of the time.) I was quiet and reserved, and didn't insinuate myself anywhere I wasn't wanted. But then (of course), I was accused of being stuck up. I couldn't win.

I've often thought...if, instead of ignoring and hiding from the bullies, I had just smiled at them every day and said, "Good morning!" maybe things would have been different. Might have been worth a try, anyway.

Interesting. I got this, too. But it wasn't in school; it was from other kids at my church! They used to tease me for being suburban, a nerd, a virgin, speaking "proper," anything and everything. And Lord help me if I got any speaking parts during church service or holiday presentations. I'd have to hear charges of nepotism for weeks (despite the fact they, not I, were often members of the large extended families that essentially ran the place. )

I was nice to them. And, yes, in retrospect it has called out that I wasn't the problem back then. But I can't honestly say that vindication has been worth much. They treat me like a rockstar when/if I visit nowadays (and, yeah, they're still there for the most part) -- and they acknowledge they've always appreciated, even admired, my peculiarities. But the memories -- and often just being around those folks -- still hurt. I don't wallow in that time, but when I revisit it, I just don't think there's any way to have "won."

[Edited 12/23/10 9:33am]

johnart said:

PositivityNYC said:

You might have also tried sneakin booze into the school and offering it to them.

Or arsenic.

1) Show more love to your single mother, she's a fighter and deserves the best!
2) Smoke less herb and read more books, knowledge is the key to inner development!
3) Listen to the lyrics of this song:



Best wishes for your birthday!

whistle said:

Ace said:

Check out the works of Tal Ben-Shahar. I would recommend starting with Happier.

which Wack Packer is he? i don't remember him...

Which reminds me:

Listen to The Howard Stern Show, on SIRIUS-XM. Despite his reputation, Howard actually dispenses lots of excellent advice that I certainly could've benefitted from at 16. I would've had a lot more laughs, too!

This thread reads like an "It Gets Better" PSA.

That's a very good question, cause I did some really stupid things at that age, some of which could have cost me my life and choices cause of the people I surrounded myself with. I would have been kinder to myself for my mistakes, and also told myself I'm worth it and who I have as friends or a partner does not define who I am as an individual. The second half of that age was calmer for me and I was finding myself and changed because of an incident that made me back away from those people after.

However, I have no regrets because it made me who I am today, and sometimes you have to screw up to learn.

Genesia said:

This thread reads like an "It Gets Better" PSA.

I often tell my students that.

Am I the only one who is scared that a 15 yr old is on the org reading stuff?

Evvy said:

Am I the only one who is scared that a 15 yr old is on the org reading stuff?

No.

I think about that a lot, esp. when some of the threads in GD hit the point of no return.

I would not have those conversations with my students, so it does embarrass me sometimes.

I don't want to take over her advice thread, but it's a good question...

I also tried drugs that year out of curiousity and didn't like it. I was mean to myself for it but now I'm so glad I did it, cause my stress levels are so bad right now, and I'm sure I would have turned to it now if not back then if I hadn't tried it and not liked it. It was really gross.

chocolate1 said:

Evvy said:

Am I the only one who is scared that a 15 yr old is on the org reading stuff?

No.

I think about that a lot, esp. when some of the threads in GD hit the point of no return.

I would not have those conversations with my students, so it does embarrass me sometimes.

I don't want to take over her advice thread, but it's a good question...

Eh, a lot of the stuff I read on here that you're probably concerned about I hear anyway... at school and whatnot. Whatever I read is my choice to read... let me handle whether or not I'm influenced by it.

Lammastide said:

* Stick with that talent... and that one... and that one. If you take care of them, they will take care of you one day.

* No, son, I'm afraid you can't just sweep that "quirk" under the rug... or pray it away.

* Leave Ohio immediately after undergrad

* Start mastering your personal finances NOW!

* I won't BS you: Yes you are awkward. And quit trying to fit in because it ain't working. Be you... and in 10 to 20 years, you will shine like the stars.

* When you eventually meet that person and that person, say hello... and keep walking.

johnart said:

mynameisnotsusan said:

johnart said: Really? I'd say "Suck more dick" because you know you wanted to.

Wanted to?? I sucked way more grown dick than I had any business doing at that age. The age when you feel invincible is not the best age to be doin some stuff.

[img:$uid]http://i35.tinypic.com/9sb6g3.jpg[/img:$uid]

-Stop faking sick to get out of class

-Don't let your teacher bully you. That bitch doesn't even have a soul

-Try to be more active in school

-Don't let your brother shop for you. You're the only one of your siblings that actually have good taste in clothes

-Stop being so shy

-Get more active in music and stop delaying what you want to do

-Don't chase after that chick. She's a troublemaker and is gonna turn out to be a lesbian anyway ()

SupaFunkyOrgangrinderSexy said:

johnart said:

No, I'd never trade off onto someone else the consequences that came from my actions then.

Don't get me wrong, I believe it's all part of my journey and I realize that maybe a lot of other things would not have turned out the same for me, but still, if I had to do it over, that's one thing I would've chilled out on.

[Edited 12/22/10 15:35pm]

I'm the only gay guy in the world who only had sex after 18 I might not have enjoyed being taken advantabe of by old men but man how I WISH I could look back and say I had sex with jason Popkins who was my neighborhood friend.

Actually... i am 20 right now. Lost mine at the age of 19, to my bf of 7 months at the time. So for me it was a good experience.

bboy87 said:

-Stop faking sick to get out of class

-Don't let your teacher bully you. That bitch doesn't even have a soul

-Try to be more active in school

-Don't let your brother shop for you. You're the only one of your siblings that actually have good taste in clothes

-Stop being so shy

-Get more active in music and stop delaying what you want to do

-Don't chase after that chick. She's a troublemaker and is gonna turn out to be a lesbian anyway ()

chocolate1 said:

Evvy said:

Am I the only one who is scared that a 15 yr old is on the org reading stuff?

No.

I think about that a lot, esp. when some of the threads in GD hit the point of no return.

I would not have those conversations with my students, so it does embarrass me sometimes.

I don't want to take over her advice thread, but it's a good question...

It's good for them to know that us broken ass adults conversate this way - the good, the bad and the ugly of it. Good to know that we made it through the storm(s) and we're still here, each with our own personality, style, vibe, etc. Observing the (sometimes ) adult behavior that takes place on boards like this would have helped me a lot when I was 15 or 16. At the time I was not in a good place and was pretty damn sure that every adult I knew was a completely lost cause. The internet would have allowed me the opportunity to observe adults outside my small circle of life who were acting like REAL people. Not the asshole that were out to get me.

Now, I do understand some of your concerns. I have a 16 year old niece who used to spend a lot of time online when no one was around and I gave her more than one speech about how to be safe (since she decided it was time to have a boyfriend she now spends almost NO time online, so my speeches are about something else altogether ). I sincerely hope that there's no need to worry about such things here at the Org, though.

be more outgoing

[img:$uid]http://i35.tinypic.com/9sb6g3.jpg[/img:$uid]

Cerebus said:

chocolate1 said:

No.

I think about that a lot, esp. when some of the threads in GD hit the point of no return.

I would not have those conversations with my students, so it does embarrass me sometimes.

I don't want to take over her advice thread, but it's a good question...

It's good for them to know that us broken ass adults conversate this way - the good, the bad and the ugly of it. Good to know that we made it through the storm(s) and we're still here, each with our own personality, style, vibe, etc. Observing the (sometimes ) adult behavior that takes place on boards like this would have helped me a lot when I was 15 or 16. At the time I was not in a good place and was pretty damn sure that every adult I knew was a completely lost cause. The internet would have allowed me the opportunity to observe adults outside my small circle of life who were acting like REAL people. Not the asshole that were out to get me.

Now, I do understand some of your concerns. I have a 16 year old niece who used to spend a lot of time online when no one was around and I gave her more than one speech about how to be safe (since she decided it was time to have a boyfriend she now spends almost NO time online, so my speeches are about something else altogether ). I sincerely hope that there's no need to worry about such things here at the Org, though.

Are they? Seems like it'd be just another variation on a theme of, "Don't be stupid."

TeenPr1nceChick said:

chocolate1 said:

No.

I think about that a lot, esp. when some of the threads in GD hit the point of no return.

I would not have those conversations with my students, so it does embarrass me sometimes.

I don't want to take over her advice thread, but it's a good question...

Eh, a lot of the stuff I read on here that you're probably concerned about I hear anyway... at school and whatnot. Whatever I read is my choice to read... let me handle whether or not I'm influenced by it.

***

[Edited 12/24/10 8:32am]