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Thread started 12/22/10 5:05pm

DrRockdapuss

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How old do you tell a kid they suck at somethin?

Like, naturally, you don't wanna crush dreams. But this 14 year old kid in my classroom just now sang Halo to "show us all how he get down."

...


This dude right here...

Head rollin, finger up, diaphragm vibratin hard.

My face hurt right now.

The bell rang and I said "Ohpe. Time for lunch..." Walkin out, he said "Beat dat..." I coulda screamed.


But he is the guy who will absolutely be in line to play himself on reality TV in a few years.

Nobody had to tell me I suck at basketball or breakdancin, I just knew. Would you tell your kid if they were oblivious to that shit?

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Reply #1 posted 12/22/10 5:07pm

RodeoSchro

No, I wouldn't tell him he sucks. Tell him he's got nowhere to go but up.

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Reply #2 posted 12/22/10 5:10pm

DrRockdapuss

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RodeoSchro said:

No, I wouldn't tell him he sucks. Tell him he's got nowhere to go but up.

Lmao. But I think he coulda been spared a severe Simon Cowell moment later in life if I had just let fly with the "Man, please!" I had springloaded behind my lips.

I did him a disservice.

For that, I apologize to you all. It takes a fuckin village. Or a nice guy, a nice lady and an asshole behind a table.

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Reply #3 posted 12/22/10 5:10pm

TotalANXiousNE
SS

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Holy Hannah, don't tell him he sucks!

I've reached in darkness and come out with treasure
I layed down with love and I woke up with lies
Whats it all worth only the heart can measure
It's not whats in the mirror but what's left inside
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Reply #4 posted 12/22/10 5:15pm

uPtoWnNY

DrRockdapuss said:

Like, naturally, you don't wanna crush dreams. But this 14 year old kid in my classroom just now sang Halo to "show us all how he get down."

...


This dude right here...

Head rollin, finger up, diaphragm vibratin hard.

My face hurt right now.

The bell rang and I said "Ohpe. Time for lunch..." Walkin out, he said "Beat dat..." I coulda screamed.


But he is the guy who will absolutely be in line to play himself on reality TV in a few years.

Nobody had to tell me I suck at basketball or breakdancin, I just knew. Would you tell your kid if they were oblivious to that shit?

If he showed zero signs of promise, yes. Don't let the kid embarrass himself. Better to learn the harsh realities of life sooner rather than later.

That 14-year-old sounded a little pompous if you ask me. I'd definitely read the riot act to his ass. Or better yet, let him perform at the Apollo. lol

[Edited 12/22/10 9:17am]

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Reply #5 posted 12/22/10 5:16pm

Genesia

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Don't worry. If he's like most of us, his own parents will crush him enough.

My parents were masters at pointing out all my shortcomings - physical and otherwise.

We don’t mourn artists because we knew them. We mourn them because they helped us know ourselves.
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Reply #6 posted 12/22/10 5:21pm

PANDURITO

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Reply #7 posted 12/22/10 5:47pm

Shyra

.

[Edited 12/23/10 6:17am]

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Reply #8 posted 12/22/10 5:50pm

Nothinbutjoy

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Genesia said:

Don't worry. If he's like most of us, his own parents will crush him enough.

My parents were masters at pointing out all my shortcomings - physical and otherwise.

SISTER!!!! hug

Aren't we? Sounds like we at least had the same Dad.

rose

I'm firmly planted in denial
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Reply #9 posted 12/22/10 5:50pm

BklynBabe

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PANDURITO said:

faint

You are never too young or too old to hear "da truf"! I spend all this time telling lil dude to be honest and not lie, so why would I lie to him? He be trying to sing and I'm like "lil dude...not your forte".

I'm trying to steer him to careers that are for his abilities....like newspaper reporter because he likes to talk a lot, is nosy, loves drama, has a lot of energy, and is cute.....

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Reply #10 posted 12/22/10 5:53pm

Genesia

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Nothinbutjoy said:

Genesia said:

Don't worry. If he's like most of us, his own parents will crush him enough.

My parents were masters at pointing out all my shortcomings - physical and otherwise.

SISTER!!!! hug

Aren't we? Sounds like we at least had the same Dad.

rose

I love my dad...but he was way too hard on his kids. And since I was the eldest, a lot of it fell on me.

I remember hating to play the piano when he was around, because if I hit a wrong note, he'd always point it out. "Sounds like you're playing the cracks, instead of the keys!" rolleyes

He was trying to be clever, but it hurt. Especially since I was always trying to play the kind of music he liked, rather than what I liked.

We don’t mourn artists because we knew them. We mourn them because they helped us know ourselves.
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Reply #11 posted 12/22/10 6:01pm

Nothinbutjoy

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Genesia said:

Nothinbutjoy said:

SISTER!!!! hug

Aren't we? Sounds like we at least had the same Dad.

rose

I love my dad...but he was way too hard on his kids. And since I was the eldest, a lot of it fell on me.

I remember hating to play the piano when he was around, because if I hit a wrong note, he'd always point it out. "Sounds like you're playing the cracks, instead of the keys!" rolleyes

He was trying to be clever, but it hurt. Especially since I was always trying to play the kind of music he liked, rather than what I liked.

I love my dad to, but he did the same thing. His dad was super hard (read abusive) on him hoping it would make him tough and give him a "I'll prove him wrong" attitude.

I was the youngest until I was 14. My dad had remarried, so I have a younger brother and sister. The family pretty much conceeds that our dad was toughest on me for whatever reason, but now that I'm grown, it doesn't matter.

I'm firmly planted in denial
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Reply #12 posted 12/22/10 6:08pm

uPtoWnNY

BklynBabe said:

PANDURITO said:

faint

You are never too young or too old to hear "da truf"! I spend all this time telling lil dude to be honest and not lie, so why would I lie to him? He be trying to sing and I'm like "lil dude...not your forte".

I'm trying to steer him to careers that are for his abilities....like newspaper reporter because he likes to talk a lot, is nosy, loves drama, has a lot of energy, and is cute.....

co-sign

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Reply #13 posted 12/22/10 6:14pm

DrRockdapuss

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Genesia said:

Don't worry. If he's like most of us, his own parents will crush him enough.

My parents were masters at pointing out all my shortcomings - physical and otherwise.

His folks def ain't doin it. Cause hear him tell it, he could blow Tevin Campbell out in utero.

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Reply #14 posted 12/22/10 6:19pm

Shyra

.

[Edited 12/23/10 6:17am]

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Reply #15 posted 12/22/10 6:22pm

XxAxX

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RodeoSchro said:

No, I wouldn't tell him he sucks. Tell him he's got nowhere to go but up.

lol good advice!

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Reply #16 posted 12/22/10 8:16pm

RodeoSchro

XxAxX said:

RodeoSchro said:

No, I wouldn't tell him he sucks. Tell him he's got nowhere to go but up.

lol good advice!

Hey, that's high praise - coming from an art thief!

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Reply #17 posted 12/22/10 11:41pm

EmeraldSkies

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Tell him that he should join the choir class. At least in there,he will get the guidance he neds to sound better,and if he sounds bad,I'm sure the teacher would have a better way to explain his singing faults. nod

Music washes away from the soul the dust of everyday life. ~Berthold Auerbach
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Reply #18 posted 12/22/10 11:47pm

johnart

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The quickest you crush an impossible dream the better. evillol

No but really, folk over-inflate kids' heads these days.

I remember when my cousin went through a whole "I wanna be a singer." phase. She sang some stuff at the Thanksgiving table and my mom asked "With what voice are you gonna do this?"neutral

My aunt and uncle were piiiiiiiiiiissssed. falloff

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Reply #19 posted 12/22/10 11:48pm

EmeraldSkies

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Genesia said:

Nothinbutjoy said:

SISTER!!!! hug

Aren't we? Sounds like we at least had the same Dad.

rose

I love my dad...but he was way too hard on his kids. And since I was the eldest, a lot of it fell on me.

I remember hating to play the piano when he was around, because if I hit a wrong note, he'd always point it out. "Sounds like you're playing the cracks, instead of the keys!" rolleyes

He was trying to be clever, but it hurt. Especially since I was always trying to play the kind of music he liked, rather than what I liked.

I use to refer to my Dad as the bubble popper,caue he sure knew how to pop mine. Anytime I would get a thought in my head,that was probably beyond my years at the time,he would snatch it away fast.

I really started to dislike him for it,so one day I let him know how I felt. I don't think he realized that it affected me like that,but once I let him know,he was more aware,and thought before he spoke or just kept him mouth shut,which was fine because silence was better than his negative opinon. smile

Music washes away from the soul the dust of everyday life. ~Berthold Auerbach
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Reply #20 posted 12/23/10 2:41am

FauxReal

Luckily I realized my mediocrity at a young age and have set the bar low ever since. I pretty much always exceed expectations now.

As for my daughter, she's yet to bet deadset on doing something she sucks at. So I haven't had to burst her bubble. Not sure how I'll approach it.

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Reply #21 posted 12/23/10 3:38am

BlackAdder7

there has to be a constructive way to phrase it.

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Reply #22 posted 12/23/10 4:27am

PositivityNYC

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johnart said:

The quickest you crush an impossible dream the better. evillol

No but really, folk over-inflate kids' heads these days.

I remember when my cousin went through a whole "I wanna be a singer." phase. She sang some stuff at the Thanksgiving table and my mom asked "With what voice are you gonna do this?"neutral

My aunt and uncle were piiiiiiiiiiissssed. falloff

hmph! lol

and you kept quiet???

lol wink

Hag. Muse. Web Goddess. Taurean. Tree Hugger. Poet. Professional Nerd. Geek.
"Resistance is futile." "All shall love me and despair!"
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Reply #23 posted 12/23/10 4:32am

Lammastide

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You should really encourage him to pursue a career in music producing. Maybe he'll eventually get the point. smile

Ὅσον ζῇς φαίνου
μηδὲν ὅλως σὺ λυποῦ
πρὸς ὀλίγον ἐστὶ τὸ ζῆν
τὸ τέλος ὁ χρόνος ἀπαιτεῖ.”
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Reply #24 posted 12/23/10 4:34am

johnart

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PositivityNYC said:

johnart said:

The quickest you crush an impossible dream the better. evillol

No but really, folk over-inflate kids' heads these days.

I remember when my cousin went through a whole "I wanna be a singer." phase. She sang some stuff at the Thanksgiving table and my mom asked "With what voice are you gonna do this?"neutral

My aunt and uncle were piiiiiiiiiiissssed. falloff

hmph! lol

and you kept quiet???

lol wink

Me? Quiet?? In what bizarro universe? I was rollin on the floor. boxed

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Reply #25 posted 12/23/10 4:42am

Genesia

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johnart said:

PositivityNYC said:

hmph! lol

and you kept quiet???

lol wink

Me? Quiet?? In what bizarro universe? I was rollin on the floor. boxed

I'd've been right down there with you. That shit's high-larious! lol

We don’t mourn artists because we knew them. We mourn them because they helped us know ourselves.
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Reply #26 posted 12/23/10 5:11am

whistle

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it's very common to be told you can't do things if you're English. your folks will have no hesitation in telling you if you're rubbish.

an atmosphere of encouragement would seem odd to me...

i dunno, can anyone from the UK back me up on this one?

everyone's a fruit & nut case
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Reply #27 posted 12/23/10 10:17am

XxAxX

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RodeoSchro said:

XxAxX said:

lol good advice!

Hey, that's high praise - coming from an art thief!

redface shhh i'm incognito! shhh wink

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Reply #28 posted 12/23/10 10:35am

Shanti0608

whistle said:

it's very common to be told you can't do things if you're English. your folks will have no hesitation in telling you if you're rubbish.

an atmosphere of encouragement would seem odd to me...

i dunno, can anyone from the UK back me up on this one?

I haven't seen it personally. My husband was born and raised in the UK and his parents raised all of their kids to believe that they could do anything they set their mind to.

I am American and my dad called me stupid so much, I thought it was my name. My mom was good at giving me a list of reasons why I could not do something.

I am going to learn from my experiences and hubby's experiences and make sure that my son feels loved and that he can do anything he sets his mind to and that he works hard for.

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Reply #29 posted 12/23/10 10:40am

PANDURITO

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Shanti0608 said:

I am going to learn from my experiences and hubby's experiences and make sure that my son feels he can do anything he sets his mind to and that he works hard for.

Even if you know it's not true?

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