heartbeat

JustErin said:

I'm sorry for all your troubling news.

But I'm sensing sarcasm in the rest of your post.

Maybe we're wrong but I got that too, so the cloyingly earnest Disney replies gave me the giggles. Internally, of course. I'll never let anyone see I've let my guard down to the degree that I'm ever seen flashing a visual representation of where the crack in my perception lies. That's like handing someone a gun. And, for me, this place is NOTHING like it used to be. Loads of good people have fucked off and either got busy with real life or jumped into bed with Mark Zuckerberg. It has completely changed shape and vibe. Probably for the better for some, but not for me.

OnlyNDaUsa said:

yeah this place is the place. I have not told many people here but my mom died last new years eve. I am having a harder time now than I did then. Then I was too busy dealing with all that I had to do and all that to really give myself any time to grieve. Now it is hitting me. I can not talk to her. I can not call her. We had been estranged to some extent for years. But we would talk. Anyway... welcome back.

Number23 said:

JustErin said:

I'm sorry for all your troubling news.

But I'm sensing sarcasm in the rest of your post.

Maybe we're wrong but I got that too, so the cloyingly earnest Disney replies gave me the giggles. Internally, of course. I'll never let anyone see I've let my guard down to the degree that I'm ever seen flashing a visual representation of where the crack in my perception lies. That's like handing someone a gun. And, for me, this place is NOTHING like it used to be. Loads of good people have fucked off and either got busy with real life or jumped into bed with Mark Zuckerberg. It has completely changed shape and vibe. Probably for the better for some, but not for me.

so the both of you are implying HBO is calling us losers?

there's nowt more endearing in a public forum than the granddad brigade blathering on about how much better things used to be...

OnlyNDaUsa said:

Lammastide said:

So you must've received that weed I mailed you, eh?

I once got a pakage in the mail that was a coffee can! And I just knew this girl i knew sent me some weed. But it was just coffee. She told me that she meant to put some in it but got high and forgot. (we had seen Beverly Hills Cop together and joked about using coffee to mail drugs)

No sarcasm. I was honestly in a contemplative mood. It is pretty funny how some of us (myself included) live alter lives on this site for years and years and years and years...

But also incredibly comforting. We can dance through many an emotional holocaust and then come back to the org to complain about it. The beauty of the org fits nicely with the absurdity of it.

Number23 said:

JustErin said:

I'm sorry for all your troubling news.

But I'm sensing sarcasm in the rest of your post.

Maybe we're wrong but I got that too, so the cloyingly earnest Disney replies gave me the giggles. Internally, of course. I'll never let anyone see I've let my guard down to the degree that I'm ever seen flashing a visual representation of where the crack in my perception lies. That's like handing someone a gun. And, for me, this place is NOTHING like it used to be. Loads of good people have fucked off and either got busy with real life or jumped into bed with Mark Zuckerberg. It has completely changed shape and vibe. Probably for the better for some, but not for me.

Well, when I started posting on the org, "social media" was not yet a mainstream term. It was far more underground. The org has changed for me because the nature of the world has changed. I no longer feel safe opening up my soul here. It's exposed, and the lines between the virtual and the real have collapsed, and continue to collapse. I feel people can not be so personal and honest here without great risk, and that must affect the quality of the conversations. Or maybe it's just me.

Slave2daGroove said:

heartbeat

Hi! I thought of you recently and wondered if you were still around or one of the org ex-patriots. Nice to see you!

OnlyNDaUsa said:

yeah this place is the place. I have not told many people here but my mom died last new years eve. I am having a harder time now than I did then. Then I was too busy dealing with all that I had to do and all that to really give myself any time to grieve. Now it is hitting me. I can not talk to her. I can not call her. We had been estranged to some extent for years. But we would talk. Anyway... welcome back.

I hear and feel grief for you.

This place is home

...and u guys r family