Ottensen said:

ZombieKitten said:

he will be playing a gig that afternoon, after working the morning at his job.

he has said to me "don't worry, we'll sort something out"

so, I guess that means he will pick up some sausages on the way back from his gig and spend the party outside cooking them on the BBQ, which makes his mum shout "GET BACK INSIDE AND BE WITH YOUR GUESTS!" and he'll call through the window to me "psssssst have we got something to serve these with?"

I'm going to tell him dial-a-pizza or fuck off

It's still early enough to call them and gently tell them that the party is for children only and that nobody's parents are coming...cause you want to focus and children's games and kiddie food and stuff and give the children your undivided attention...

and if they insist on coming then let them dine on pizza, hot dogs and gummy bears just like the rest of the invited guests. Sorry, but folks need to get the hint when they're putting you out of your agenda, or they need to just get in step with what was already planned and not expect you to do sommersaults for what was scheduled as a children's event.

hey aunt ottie that would totally work if it were my folks, in fact my folks INSIST on staying away for exactly those reasons.

However, my in laws are SOUTH AMERICAN

it seems to be a sin to not spend all birthdays and holidays together as a family

The master called me yesterday afternoon to let me know, that every time one of us has a birthday, he will be invited ALL of his family, just so I know that. This was a NO UNCERTAIN TERMS kind of thing. Serious shit!

so here is what I have negotiated:

KIDS ONLY party 4:30pm–6pm

6:30pm grown-ups arrive and have pizzas with us and we do a replay of birthday cake and candles - all while I lay on the couch

So, I am about to call my sister and invite her and her family to that. Because, I might not see her for Christmas

so anyway, it's all over now

the master called me up just now to tell me he feels sorry for me that I have to put up with this bullshit year in year out

so we had the whole thing at my place, it was OK, a bit strained. I can tell the master doesn't enjoy it at all, since he is biting his tongue at all the falseness - he would REALLY love to tell them all what he thinks, but he realises it will only make things worse for me.

I dropped my nephew off at my sisters this morning. Her place is not packed up in boxes. It was a big kick in the teeth.

How UNBELIEVABLY RUDE of your sister!!

I'm furious with her for you!!

Your family is blessed to have you.

Nothinbutjoy said:

How UNBELIEVABLY RUDE of your sister!!

I'm furious with her for you!!

Your family is blessed to have you.

I don't think it's entirely her fault. My mum was the one who called me to tell me it was at my place, and without consulting with my sister, I obliged.

The master has decided we don't have it at our place any more. Next year either at my sister's or at a restaurant or something. He's had enough.

Charlotte what time is dinner on Christmas?? (I'm so there)

ZombieKitten said:

Nothinbutjoy said:

How UNBELIEVABLY RUDE of your sister!!

I'm furious with her for you!!

Your family is blessed to have you.

I don't think it's entirely her fault. My mum was the one who called me to tell me it was at my place, and without consulting with my sister, I obliged.

The master has decided we don't have it at our place any more. Next year either at my sister's or at a restaurant or something. He's had enough.

Good for the master.

I hear ya Charlotte. But lemme get this straight....your sister decided to MOVE on Christmas day??? Or what's goin' on?

I've actually been depressed about the fact the last 2 years that I will not be hosting big family Christmases at my house. Although with my work schedule I guess its a blessing that we are going to someone elses anyways.

I just hate it, cuz I'm like a control freak when it comes to get togethers, and I like the way I do it better than the way everyone else does it. I can't help it.

The only drama I'm having this year is basically the same as last year....My ex husband wants to change the plans around over who get's the kids when over the holiday, at the very last minute. THEN on the phone the other night, he tried to pull the "Well it's MY weekend card".... Oh ya, well its been your weekend every other weekend for the last two months and we haven't seen or heard from ya, don't EVEN think that shits gonna matter now cuz it's Christmas.

this may have been said. I didn't read all the posts. since your sister is moving....and she bailed on everyone....MAKE her come over the next day to help you clean.

oh..oops. nevermind. just read more post.

[Edited 12/20/10 7:33am]

book a hotel for you and your family and have your christmas there. tell your family you had an emergency

OMG....reading some of these stories! dang...my family is great! we never get all pissy at one another. Rarely does anyone get offended...we're easy going I guess. we used to shift around on Thanksgiving but once we had kids I just said I'm having thanksgiving at my house every year. If people want to join us, come on over...if not, that's fine too. Christmas is pretty much set in stone too. My brother has a big ol bash the saturday before christmas everyear for both his side and his wifes side of the family. it's a great time. My husbands family has a brunch on the sunday before christmas usually at his brother place but that does kind of shift around and that's an everybody bring a dish affair and we do a yankee swap and it too is a nice time.

after that...we're done. Christmas day is for us and the kids and we don't leave the house all day!

ta da!

Family drama and the Holidays go hand-in-hand.

TotalANXiousNESS said:

I hear ya Charlotte. But lemme get this straight....your sister decided to MOVE on Christmas day??? Or what's goin' on?

I've actually been depressed about the fact the last 2 years that I will not be hosting big family Christmases at my house. Although with my work schedule I guess its a blessing that we are going to someone elses anyways.

I just hate it, cuz I'm like a control freak when it comes to get togethers, and I like the way I do it better than the way everyone else does it. I can't help it.

The only drama I'm having this year is basically the same as last year....My ex husband wants to change the plans around over who get's the kids when over the holiday, at the very last minute. THEN on the phone the other night, he tried to pull the "Well it's MY weekend card".... Oh ya, well its been your weekend every other weekend for the last two months and we haven't seen or heard from ya, don't EVEN think that shits gonna matter now cuz it's Christmas.

no, the day she told us, a week in advance was Monday 20th Dec, NOT christmas day, but the day after our family had planned to celebrate it. That day had been in all our calendars for months.

Anyway, my dad and I spoke for an hour last night, we have decided no more christmas, it's just such a terrible time of year to have it. THEN my husband called my sister and told her what he thinks, despite my dad believing that my sister will feel remorseful enough since I was there yesterday and saw with my own eyes her story is bullshit.

She won't be speaking to me again for a long time now I'm guessing

heybaby said:

book a hotel for you and your family and have your christmas there. tell your family you had an emergency

it's all done with. We had our Christmas already, on the 19th.

ZombieKitten said:

heybaby said:

book a hotel for you and your family and have your christmas there. tell your family you had an emergency

it's all done with. We had our Christmas already, on the 19th.

¿Qué?

PurpleJedi said:

ZombieKitten said:

it's all done with. We had our Christmas already, on the 19th.

¿Qué?

long story, but here are the basic points

my parents live 4 hours drive to the east. my dad doesn't like to be on the road during the christmas eve/day/boxing day period, so he made the rule that our family's christmas always be the weekend before.

On 24th we celebrate in a normal, no fuss, no stress fashion with the in-laws, who have no strange habits or hang-ups.

ZombieKitten said:

BlackAdder7 said:

you can say no, Charlotte, and without guilt.

not really.

My kids will be extremely disappointed, and so will my parents if they can't see the kids

I'm with Mr. Adder on this.

The older I get the more I'm finding that dissappointing people now and then can be quite a liberating experience.

I usually prefer holidays at my own house tho and will generally try to get out of having to travel to others' if possible.

johnart said:

ZombieKitten said:

not really.

My kids will be extremely disappointed, and so will my parents if they can't see the kids

I'm with Mr. Adder on this.

The older I get the more I'm finding that dissappointing people now and then can be quite a liberating experience.

I usually prefer holidays at my own house tho and will generally try to get out of having to travel to others' if possible.

have you read the rest of the thread John? it's already been now, and as of this week, christmas is cancelled. FOREVER. Drastic, but it solves all our problems

ZombieKitten said:

johnart said:

I'm with Mr. Adder on this.

The older I get the more I'm finding that dissappointing people now and then can be quite a liberating experience.

I usually prefer holidays at my own house tho and will generally try to get out of having to travel to others' if possible.

have you read the rest of the thread John? it's already been now, and as of this week, christmas is cancelled. FOREVER. Drastic, but it solves all our problems

Don't be silly. Of course I haven't.

johnart said:

ZombieKitten said:

have you read the rest of the thread John? it's already been now, and as of this week, christmas is cancelled. FOREVER. Drastic, but it solves all our problems

Don't be silly. Of course I haven't.

we were both sick the last 2 yrs and didn't go. lost the head of our family my grandfather that the end of this september. on thanksgiving they were breaking down crying so xmas is gonna suck. only a few of us met up. the dog barked the entire time.my uncle got fed up and stormed off to smoke a cigar.... but its better then everyone been loud and obnoxious talking over each other and the tv. i always get a headache from them. i get pestered to go back to school or when am i gonna grow up and take out all my body piercings....

cant stand holidays. just mail me checks and leave me be. and i live with the biggest pain in the ass of all of them. MY MOTHER. i'd live with dad but his new wife is even worse then mom. her son left her and didn't see her for years. now her granddaughter hates her too and always talks about wanting to kill herself and cutting herself..she told me she lost her virginity at 14 and her first bf beat her up. my stepcousins now. one is severely autistic(poor kid) and the other is a on again off again heroin addict, and cokehead.WHAT DID MY DAD REMARRY INTO??

[Edited 12/21/10 1:13am]

Wow that sounds like a lot of stress . I am sorry you had to go through all of that and I agree with everybody else that it is not fair at all from your mom and sister.

[Edited 12/21/10 18:24pm]

Shanti0608 said:

Wow! I guess I should be glad that we celebrate "Not Christmas" in our house, just the 3 of us. Thanksgiving used to be a disaster for me. Years of deciding who's dinners we were going to attend. One year we went to 3 so we did not offend anyone. Then we decided to just go to amusements parks and tell the families to enjoy their Thansgivings.a

That was always my problem for christmas when I was still with Peter. We went from family to family and the last 2 years I think we had 3 dinners until we came home after midnight totally exhausted. We never had time to celebrate together, just the 2 of us. We usually didn't even find the time to give each other our presents on Christmas evening.

BklynBabe said:

Who da fuck moves on Christmas? I call bullshit!

school year starts in feb, she has to get her arse into gear, choose a school and move into its catchment area for her son to be allowed to enrol. She has left it VERY late, but then she wanted him to finish kindy first (last week) before moving. She gets the keys for her new place on Dec 30.

Man, I don't think I've had that kind of drama in years. But it looks like I'll be all alone on Christmas Day. Which is sort of sad, but actually my family has a big celebration on Christmas Eve. We usually get together then to exchange presents and have a small festive dinner. Some days we'll ge together on Christmas Day to have dinner and go to a movie, but on others my siblings and in-laws usually celebrate with the other side of the family. Of course, lately, with the economy being in the crapper, the adults have pretty much foregone giving gifts to each other and just get presents for the kiddies.

BklynBabe said:

Who da fuck moves on Christmas? I call bullshit!

Thats what I was sayin'!