I need to have a rant.

2010 was going to be the first year in the last 15, that Christmas with one (or both as it often has been) of our families was NOT going to be at my house. I was so looking forwards to it! Going somewhere ELSE to eat, drink and be merry, and going home (whenever we want) to a nice tidy house.

Now my sister is moving house on that very day, a day that has been set aside by us, in her calendar for many weeks. She got out of it AGAIN and, surprise, surprise, it will be at my house again.

(yes I know I am lucky to have a family and all that, but this is not the thread to remind me about it - start another thread for that )

let out all your laments, grievances, pissed offedness here

obviously people on the org have perfect families!

you can say no, Charlotte, and without guilt.

BlackAdder7 said:

you can say no, Charlotte, and without guilt.

not really.

My kids will be extremely disappointed, and so will my parents if they can't see the kids

ZombieKitten said:

BlackAdder7 said:

you can say no, Charlotte, and without guilt.

not really.

My kids will be extremely disappointed, and so will my parents if they can't see the kids

can't you explain to your folks how you needa break, and maybe they can host?

ZombieKitten said:

obviously people on the org have perfect families!

No. I'm the youngest in my family, the only girl, I have two brothers, I'm spoiled and everything went my way. My middle brother needs to be here to vent, because he has issues. I don't have any issues.

===============

[Edited 12/13/10 3:28am]

So you sister intentionally picked this set aside date to move ?

You can decline ~ specially at such a late ( for holidays ) change of plans

and you should not feel bad at all for the wrench she threw into the family holiday dynamic

BlackAdder7 said:

ZombieKitten said:

not really.

My kids will be extremely disappointed, and so will my parents if they can't see the kids

can't you explain to your folks how you needa break, and maybe they can host?

I'd love to, but they live 4 hours away. My mum is already making a lot of food and stuff to bring, I know she will help out as much as she can to make it easier for me. It's not the work, so much, but what I was looking forwards to.

ZombieKitten said:

BlackAdder7 said:

you can say no, Charlotte, and without guilt.

not really.

My kids will be extremely disappointed, and so will my parents if they can't see the kids

Oh ~ bummer

it's amazing the things we will do, even when we really don't want to, for our kids

best wishes on your holiday dinner/party

Mach said:

So you sister intentionally picked this set aside date to move ?

You can decline ~ specially at such a late ( for holidays ) change of plans

and you should not feel bad at all for the wrench she threw into the family holiday dynamic

I have no idea how it's come about to be honest I knew she has been looking for a place to rent for a few weeks, and now all of a sudden, she has completely changed her plans to move interstate, and make it further down the road. She is spending the whole weekend packing everything up.

ZombieKitten said:

BlackAdder7 said:

can't you explain to your folks how you needa break, and maybe they can host?

I'd love to, but they live 4 hours away. My mum is already making a lot of food and stuff to bring, I know she will help out as much as she can to make it easier for me. It's not the work, so much, but what I was looking forwards to.

Speak with your sister and tell her you would like for once to celebrate the holidays with the family at her home. "Let's see if we can make it happen next year, I ws so looking forward to doing so this year."

TD3 said:

ZombieKitten said:

I'd love to, but they live 4 hours away. My mum is already making a lot of food and stuff to bring, I know she will help out as much as she can to make it easier for me. It's not the work, so much, but what I was looking forwards to.

Speak with your sister and tell her you would like for once to celebrate the holidays with the family at her home. "Let's see if we can make it happen next year, I ws so looking forward to doing so this year."

she had promised this the last 2 times

ZombieKitten said:

TD3 said:

Speak with your sister and tell her you would like for once to celebrate the holidays with the family at her home. "Let's see if we can make it happen next year, I ws so looking forward to doing so this year."

she had promised this the last 2 times

OK. Sister needs to get it together and it's about time to call her out; I would mention you've bailed twice, what' up?

TD3 said:

ZombieKitten said:

she had promised this the last 2 times

OK. Sister needs to get it together and it's about time to call her out; I would mention you've bailed twice, what' up?

She will apologise next time I see her, and give me a whole bunch of excuses. She knows EXACTLY how I feel and how she does things like this time and time again, but it seems that instead of changing her behaviour, she simply feels terrible about it for a few months and avoids her family, until NEXT year She is the most sensitive person I know, can't handle confrontation or conflict. My husband once told her how he felt about her flakiness and how he could see me suffering. She agreed, but the consequence was simply that she avoided us for a few years and there is now a permanent strain on our relationship I just don't want to go there!

ZombieKitten said:

TD3 said:

OK. Sister needs to get it together and it's about time to call her out; I would mention you've bailed twice, what' up?

She will apologise next time I see her, and give me a whole bunch of excuses. She knows EXACTLY how I feel and how she does things like this time and time again, but it seems that instead of changing her behaviour, she simply feels terrible about it for a few months and avoids her family, until NEXT year She is the most sensitive person I know, can't handle confrontation or conflict. My husband once told her how he felt about her flakiness and how he could see me suffering. She agreed, but the consequence was simply that she avoided us for a few years and there is now a permanent strain on our relationship I just don't want to go there!

actions and behaviour have consequences. next year do what you have to in order to be happy, and do not worry about your sister's plans. Have your folks over for new years day. the kids will understand.

BlackAdder7 said:

ZombieKitten said:

She will apologise next time I see her, and give me a whole bunch of excuses. She knows EXACTLY how I feel and how she does things like this time and time again, but it seems that instead of changing her behaviour, she simply feels terrible about it for a few months and avoids her family, until NEXT year She is the most sensitive person I know, can't handle confrontation or conflict. My husband once told her how he felt about her flakiness and how he could see me suffering. She agreed, but the consequence was simply that she avoided us for a few years and there is now a permanent strain on our relationship I just don't want to go there!

actions and behaviour have consequences. next year do what you have to in order to be happy, and do not worry about your sister's plans. Have your folks over for new years day. the kids will understand.

Next year I know I have to cater for all the in-laws at my place for sure, that's a definite.

I just got off the phone from the master. He told me that his whole family is coming to my son's birthday party on Friday night. Because we can't NOT invite them. (I haven't invited my folks, since I thought we'd agreed it was going to be kids only ). You guessed it. I'm catering this one as well.

ZombieKitten said:

BlackAdder7 said:

actions and behaviour have consequences. next year do what you have to in order to be happy, and do not worry about your sister's plans. Have your folks over for new years day. the kids will understand.

Next year I know I have to cater for all the in-laws at my place for sure, that's a definite.

I just got off the phone from the master. He told me that his whole family is coming to my son's birthday party on Friday night. Because we can't NOT invite them. (I haven't invited my folks, since I thought we'd agreed it was going to be kids only ). You guessed it. I'm catering this one as well.

he invited them...let him cater. where are your testicles Charlotte?

BlackAdder7 said:

ZombieKitten said:

Next year I know I have to cater for all the in-laws at my place for sure, that's a definite.

I just got off the phone from the master. He told me that his whole family is coming to my son's birthday party on Friday night. Because we can't NOT invite them. (I haven't invited my folks, since I thought we'd agreed it was going to be kids only ). You guessed it. I'm catering this one as well.

he invited them...let him cater. where are your testicles Charlotte?

he will be playing a gig that afternoon, after working the morning at his job.

he has said to me "don't worry, we'll sort something out"

so, I guess that means he will pick up some sausages on the way back from his gig and spend the party outside cooking them on the BBQ, which makes his mum shout "GET BACK INSIDE AND BE WITH YOUR GUESTS!" and he'll call through the window to me "psssssst have we got something to serve these with?"

I'm going to tell him dial-a-pizza or fuck off

edit edit

[Edited 12/13/10 2:26am]

ZombieKitten said:

BlackAdder7 said:

he invited them...let him cater. where are your testicles Charlotte?

he will be playing a gig that afternoon, after working the morning at his job.

he has said to me "don't worry, we'll sort something out"

so, I guess that means he will pick up some sausages on the way back from his gig and spend the party outside cooking them on the BBQ, which makes his mum shout "GET BACK INSIDE AND BE WITH YOUR GUESTS!" and he'll call through the window to me "psssssst have we got something to serve these with?"

I'm going to tell him dial-a-pizza or fuck off

last xmas we hosted at our house (very small unit), organised at the last minute, nearly caused WWIII coz i had to somehow not invite my middle sister, coz she had her steps as well, making her family 6 ppl. we would have been sitting on each other!!!!

she had told our mum, by the by, that she was going to have xmas at their shack....so mum took that as gospel

i keep telling mum she needs to step up one yr ( it is just her now, but her family is still close)

and have it at her place. its not as if she needs to supply much, we all contribute.

i get the

i miss xmases at my grandparents

i miss my pop, my dad, and my nan (who, though still alive, isnt "with us" )

just having xmas with my boys this yr (so far :crossingfingers)

had one xmas at the in-laws....swore, never, ever again!!!!!!!

Xmas sux!!!!!!

Shanti0608 said:

Wow! I guess I should be glad that we celebrate "Not Christmas" in our house, just the 3 of us. Thanksgiving used to be a disaster for me. Years of deciding who's dinners we were going to attend. One year we went to 3 so we did not offend anyone. Then we decided to just go to amusements parks and tell the families to enjoy their Thansgivings.

thats what i want this year, havent even invited mum.....

prb said:

Shanti0608 said:

Wow! I guess I should be glad that we celebrate "Not Christmas" in our house, just the 3 of us. Thanksgiving used to be a disaster for me. Years of deciding who's dinners we were going to attend. One year we went to 3 so we did not offend anyone. Then we decided to just go to amusements parks and tell the families to enjoy their Thansgivings.

thats what i want this year, havent even invited mum.....

Our 4th Not Christmas. The 2nd with the little man. I am looking forward to next year.

Some times you just gotta mix it up a bit. You guys should do what you want to do for the holidays.

Bummer.

Personally, i'd tell them they aren't going to be waited on. I'd expect them all to bring stuff and then help out while they're there.

If I have a house full of people, they help themselves to whatever they want and don't bug me. I want to enjoy myself and relax too.

Lisa10 said:

Bummer.

Personally, i'd tell them they aren't going to be waited on. I'd expect them all to bring stuff and then help out while they're there.

If I have a house full of people, they help themselves to whatever they want and don't bug me. I want to enjoy myself and relax too.

my best friend has NEVER made me a coffee....the rule in her house, all yr round is, if you want it, you get it

love it!

to Charlotte

ZombieKitten said:

I need to have a rant.

2010 was going to be the first year in the last 15, that Christmas with one (or both as it often has been) of our families was NOT going to be at my house. I was so looking forwards to it! Going somewhere ELSE to eat, drink and be merry, and going home (whenever we want) to a nice tidy house.

Now my sister is moving house on that very day, a day that has been set aside by us, in her calendar for many weeks. She got out of it AGAIN and, surprise, surprise, it will be at my house again.

(yes I know I am lucky to have a family and all that, but this is not the thread to remind me about it - start another thread for that )

let out all your laments, grievances, pissed offedness here

it seems to me you have the right to be pissed. but, at this point you might not be able to get out of it gracefully.

next year i would begin discussions aout this event early, so there are no last minute surprises.

i'm lucky, i only have to travel across the country to get to where my family is. then, they have to host me. i'm not sure which i'd prefer, the traveling or hosting. : hmm: they both have their merits i suppose.

anyway, i always am glad to see my loved ones, even when getting there is a hassle

[Edited 12/13/10 9:49am]

ZombieKitten said:

obviously people on the org have perfect families!

oh for crying out loud!

my family is far from perfect...and that's why I live 7,000 miles away from them so I can have my peace

ZombieKitten said:

BlackAdder7 said:

he invited them...let him cater. where are your testicles Charlotte?

he will be playing a gig that afternoon, after working the morning at his job.

he has said to me "don't worry, we'll sort something out"

so, I guess that means he will pick up some sausages on the way back from his gig and spend the party outside cooking them on the BBQ, which makes his mum shout "GET BACK INSIDE AND BE WITH YOUR GUESTS!" and he'll call through the window to me "psssssst have we got something to serve these with?"

I'm going to tell him dial-a-pizza or fuck off

It's still early enough to call them and gently tell them that the party is for children only and that nobody's parents are coming...cause you want to focus and children's games and kiddie food and stuff and give the children your undivided attention...

and if they insist on coming then let them dine on pizza, hot dogs and gummy bears just like the rest of the invited guests. Sorry, but folks need to get the hint when they're putting you out of your agenda, or they need to just get in step with what was already planned and not expect you to do sommersaults for what was scheduled as a children's event.

zombie...dont nobody want company at their house, I'm sittin back to see howto get away with that...

I'm not feeling my son this year, he's been a dick, as have my girls...