Mind you, we went out years ago. But whatever, haven't seen her since 05. She wanted to play that number inbox game. I said some very nice, surface, respectful things about her and left it at that.

She comes back on some ol "Yeah I remember how you... blah da da..." all this. I'm like yeah, but I wouldn't mention that cause you're married. "Marriage don't erase your memory, though..."

Whatever.

"My husband is cool. I got a girlfriend..."

And? That's not even remotely similar to havin another dick beatin your wife in the uterus. That's how you get Ron Goldman'd.

Been pokin me ever since.

Is an Open Marriage a real thing or just the prequel to a Nancy Grace episode?

Your thoughts?

I wouldn't believe her. Wanna know if she really is in an open marriage? Ask her husband.

Run.

Graycap23 said:

Run.

LOL. Good advice.

JustErin said:

I wouldn't believe her. Wanna know if she really is in an open marriage? Ask her husband.

EXACTLY !

I get hit on by married men semi/pretty often ~ and I always ask ~ does your wife know ...

oops ... forgot to mention ~ I ALWAYS tell my husband about them ( those men ! )

[Edited 12/10/10 8:24am]

DrRockdapuss said:

Is an Open Marriage a real thing or just the prequel to a Nancy Grace episode?

Your thoughts?

I know people in open marriages. It works for them. I was in two committed-but-open relationships before meeting my husband, but I'm strictly monogamous now.

PunkMistress said:

DrRockdapuss said:

Is an Open Marriage a real thing or just the prequel to a Nancy Grace episode?

Your thoughts?

I know people in open marriages. It works for them. I was in two committed-but-open

Interesting concept.

Graycap23 said:

PunkMistress said:

I know people in open marriages. It works for them. I was in two committed-but-open

Interesting concept.

How so, Graycap?

PunkMistress said:

Graycap23 said:

Interesting concept.

How so, Graycap?

How is one committed.....and open?

Graycap23 said:

PunkMistress said:

How so, Graycap?

How is one committed.....and open?

There's a difference between committed and monogamous.

In most polyamorous relationships, there's a primary partner that you're committed to, share your life with, etc. Then there are dates, fuckbuddies, or secondary partners, depending on the dynamics of your particular relationship.

In my case, I was in a relationship with a man but had sex with women. The girls were not my girlfriends and I was not in love with them. I fucked them. Then I came home to my live-in partner. He was a dickhead anyway.

I was later in a relationship with a woman who I was in love with, and she had sex with her ex while we were together. I wasn't crazy about that arrangement to tell the truth, but I allowed it because she was honest with me about it and I wanted her any way I could have her.

In both cases, it caused a lot of turmoil for me and I've learned that an open relationship isn't for me. But I know couples who have made it work for years, and they're very happy. It takes lots and lots of talking, processing, brutal honesty and confidence in yourself and your partner.

DrRockdapuss said:

She wanted to play that number inbox game.

I've been trying to figure that out, can someone please explain that game to me???

PunkMistress said:

Graycap23 said:

How is one committed.....and open?

There's a difference between committed and monogamous.

In most polyamorous relationships, there's a primary partner that you're committed to, share your life with, etc. Then there are dates, fuckbuddies, or secondary partners, depending on the dynamics of your particular relationship.

In my case, I was in a relationship with a man but had sex with women. The girls were not my girlfriends and I was not in love with them. I fucked them. Then I came home to my live-in partner. He was a dickhead anyway.

I was later in a relationship with a woman who I was in love with, and she had sex with her ex while we were together. I wasn't crazy about that arrangement to tell the truth, but I allowed it because she was honest with me about it and I wanted her any way I could have her.

In both cases, it caused a lot of turmoil for me and I've learned that an open relationship isn't for me. But I know couples who have made it work for years, and they're very happy. It takes lots and lots of talking, processing, brutal honesty and confidence in yourself and your partner.

Interesting.

It seems like it would cause confusion, frustration and a host of other issues in the long run.

JustErin said:

I wouldn't believe her. Wanna know if she really is in an open marriage? Ask her husband.

seriously! That would make the most sense if I was even slightly interested.

But I meant as a social construct. Does the idea of an open marriage hold water?

As a dude, I can be ok with my girl doin a girl. I don't know why, but I can. Especially if I myself would do that girl.

I can't imagine the conditions where I'd accept that with dudes.

Unless I didn't give a fuck about the girl, in which case, we ain't married.

Or perhaps some dudes are into the other dude aspect of it and thus are secretly gay.

DrRockdapuss said:

JustErin said:

I wouldn't believe her. Wanna know if she really is in an open marriage? Ask her husband.

seriously! That would make the most sense if I was even slightly interested.

But I meant as a social construct. Does the idea of an open marriage hold water?

As a dude, I can be ok with my girl doin a girl. I don't know why, but I can. Especially if I myself would do that girl.

I can't imagine the conditions where I'd accept that with dudes.

Unless I didn't give a fuck about the girl, in which case, we ain't married.

Or perhaps some dudes are into the other dude aspect of it and thus are secretly gay.

Run and save yourself from Facebook drama, 'cause it can get WAY outta hand!

nammie said:

DrRockdapuss said:

seriously! That would make the most sense if I was even slightly interested.

But I meant as a social construct. Does the idea of an open marriage hold water?

As a dude, I can be ok with my girl doin a girl. I don't know why, but I can. Especially if I myself would do that girl.

I can't imagine the conditions where I'd accept that with dudes.

Unless I didn't give a fuck about the girl, in which case, we ain't married.

Or perhaps some dudes are into the other dude aspect of it and thus are secretly gay.

Run and save yourself from Facebook drama, 'cause it can get WAY outta hand!

I promise you, I'm not goin anywhere near this brahd. But I just didn't know if my cynical views of the impossibility of such an arrangement were misguided.

missfee said:

DrRockdapuss said:

She wanted to play that number inbox game.

I've been trying to figure that out, can someone please explain that game to me???

They inbox you a number to identify themselves. Only you two know the number. Then you write your feelings about them in the status box.

DrRockdapuss said:

nammie said:

Run and save yourself from Facebook drama, 'cause it can get WAY outta hand!

I promise you, I'm not goin anywhere near this brahd. But I just didn't know if my cynical views of the impossibility of such an arrangement were misguided.

They are.

PunkMistress said:

DrRockdapuss said:

I promise you, I'm not goin anywhere near this brahd. But I just didn't know if my cynical views of the impossibility of such an arrangement were misguided.

They are.

But even your description of it made it sound like a really bad idea and didn't work out in the long run.

But maybe that's the only way it can work, as a temporary experiment. All fun and games til somebody breaks a hip or somethin. Then it's like "ok, everybody outta the pool..."

DrRockdapuss said:

missfee said:

I've been trying to figure that out, can someone please explain that game to me???

They inbox you a number to identify themselves. Only you two know the number. Then you write your feelings about them in the status box.

Oh okay. Thanks so much for clarifying that for me.

DrRockdapuss said:

PunkMistress said:

They are.

But even your description of it made it sound like a really bad idea and didn't work out in the long run.

But maybe that's the only way it can work, as a temporary experiment. All fun and games til somebody breaks a hip or somethin. Then it's like "ok, everybody outta the pool..."

No, I said it didn't work for me in the long run.

I also said I have friends for whom it's worked quite well for years.

I'm far too possessive, especially of my Christopher. Some people lack possessiveness, and those are the people for whom polyamory works well, I think.

DrRockdapuss said:

PunkMistress said:

They are.

But even your description of it made it sound like a really bad idea and didn't work out in the long run.

But maybe that's the only way it can work, as a temporary experiment. All fun and games til somebody breaks a hip or somethin. Then it's like "ok, everybody outta the pool..."

I think that’s kinda the thing. I’ve never seen such an arrangement work out for anybody long-term, in the grand scheme of things. It certainly may, but I would think that’s rare.

But it defeintiely works out happily for some on the shorter term and not every relationship is meant to be forever. If it makes everyone involved happy, then good for them.

CarrieMpls said:

DrRockdapuss said:

But even your description of it made it sound like a really bad idea and didn't work out in the long run.

But maybe that's the only way it can work, as a temporary experiment. All fun and games til somebody breaks a hip or somethin. Then it's like "ok, everybody outta the pool..."

I think that’s kinda the thing. I’ve never seen such an arrangement work out for anybody long-term, in the grand scheme of things. It certainly may, but I would think that’s rare.

But it defeintiely works out happily for some on the shorter term and not every relationship is meant to be forever. If it makes everyone involved happy, then good for them.

I learned that it's not for me in the long term, but do I regret those experiences? Not for a second.

PunkMistress said:

DrRockdapuss said:

But even your description of it made it sound like a really bad idea and didn't work out in the long run.

But maybe that's the only way it can work, as a temporary experiment. All fun and games til somebody breaks a hip or somethin. Then it's like "ok, everybody outta the pool..."

No, I said it didn't work for me in the long run.

I also said I have friends for whom it's worked quite well for years.

I'm far too possessive, especially of my Christopher. Some people lack possessiveness, and those are the people for whom polyamory works well, I think.

Ok then. I guess it can.

But why make such a big deal and go through the process of marriage when you could just as easily say "Hey you guys, I like this one a lot...

But y'know... you can still come over and we can fuck..."

The ring and the vows and all that are usually to warn other people that you pledged to this person only, am I right?

missfee said:

DrRockdapuss said:

They inbox you a number to identify themselves. Only you two know the number. Then you write your feelings about them in the status box.

Oh okay. Thanks so much for clarifying that for me.

I still don't get it.

DrRockdapuss said:

PunkMistress said:

No, I said it didn't work for me in the long run.

I also said I have friends for whom it's worked quite well for years.

I'm far too possessive, especially of my Christopher. Some people lack possessiveness, and those are the people for whom polyamory works well, I think.

Ok then. I guess it can.

But why make such a big deal and go through the process of marriage when you could just as easily say "Hey you guys, I like this one a lot...

But y'know... you can still come over and we can fuck..."

The ring and the vows and all that are usually to warn other people that you pledged to this person only, am I right?

Usually, yes. And for me, that's very much what my marriage is (among other awesome stuff).

My friends C***k and B****e got married because they love each other deeply and wanted to be together and take care of each other for the rest of their lives. But they also like to have fun and "play" (their word) with other girls and boys. For them, it's more like an activity they do with other people, rather than a violation of their marriage. But for love, committment, mutual support and partnership, they turn to each other and wanted the world to know that.

Efan said:

missfee said:

Oh okay. Thanks so much for clarifying that for me.

I still don't get it.

Really?

DrRockdapuss said:

Efan said:

I still don't get it.

Really?

DrRockdapuss said:

Efan said:

I still don't get it.

Really?

I don't get where the number comes in. Why don't they just send you a message and say, "Hey, write how you feel about me in your status update"?

Efan said:

DrRockdapuss said:

Really?

I don't get where the number comes in. Why don't they just send you a message and say, "Hey, write how you feel about me in your status update"?

Same reason they play with imaginary farm animals, I think.

Here's what you do and fast.