You may be addicted to the Internet, if ...

You decide to stay in college for an additional year or two, just for the free Internet access.

You wake up at 2 a.m. to go to the bathroom and have to check your e-mail on the way back to bed.

You get a tattoo that reads "This body best viewed with Netscape 4.0 or higher."

You turn off your modem and get this awful empty feeling, like you just pulled the plug on a loved one.

You laugh at people with 14.4K-baud modems.

The last girl you picked up was a JPEG.

You introduce your wife as "mylady@home.wife" or husband as "myman@tv.hubby" and refer to your children as "client applications".

You name your children Org, Modem, Java and Eudora.

You spend half of the plane trip with your laptop on your lap ... and your child in the overhead compartment.

Only communication in your household is through email.

You refuse to go to a vacation spot with no electricity and no phone lines.

All your daydreaming is preoccupied with getting a faster connection to the net: 28.8...ISDN...cable modem...DSL...T1...T3.

And even your night dreams are in HTML.

You think Webster's Dictionary is a directory of Web sites.

You refer to going to the bathroom as downloading.

You have more friends on the Internet than in real life.

All of your friends have an @ in their names.

You chat several times a day with a stranger from South Africa but haven't spoken to your next-door neighbor yet this year.

You code your homework in HTML and give your instructor the URL.

You move into a new house and decide to Netscape before you landscape.

You really did ask a plumber how much it would cost to replace the chair in front of your computer with a toilet.

Choice between paying AOL bill and paying for kids education is easy -- if a little painful for your kids.

Your phone bill comes to your doorstep in a box.

Your wife drapes a wig over your monitor to remind you of what she looks like.

Batteries in the TV remote now last for months.

You hire a housekeeper for your home page.

New mail alarm on your palmtop annoys other churchgoers.

Your mouse-clicking forearm rivals Popeye's.

You unsuccessfully try to download a pizza from www.dominos.com.

You try to order a movie from Blockbuster video by downloading it at 44,000 BPS.

You check your mail. It says "no new messages." So you check it again.

You can't call your mother ... she doesn't have a modem.

You tell the taxi driver you live at http://1100.sunset.ave/ma...brick.html

You try to pay the babysitter via electronic transfer or PayPal.

You start tilting your head sideways to smile.

You have more than 5 email addresses.

You set up a Web page for each of your kids.

Your dog has its own home page too.

You use more than 20 passwords.

Three words: Carpal Tunnel Syndrome.

You come back and check this list every half-hour.

Oh no this is starting to sound a little like me.

...you clicked this thread to find out...