Shyra said:

SCNDLS said:

I don't see much of an upside to marriage if you don't want kids which I don't.

I like being my own person and doing my own thing without compromising for someone else. I'm good without a significant other. Sure, if the right guy came along cool, but it's definitely not something I'm looking or pining for. Besides, ALL the married women I know are worse off financially, more stressed, and generally miserable in comparison to their life when single.

I would only consider getting married if my life was going to improve significantly in various ways. If it's not, why bother?

Oh, and I don't get any pressure from family or friends about my situation cuz I find that if you cuss muthafuckas out one GOOD time for overstepping their bounds they know to pump their brakes on that bullshit in the future.

[Edited 11/23/10 12:43pm]

CLASSIC, GIRL! THAT'S WHAT I'M TALKIN 'BOUT! I tell my mom that all the time. She bitches and moans about how some of them old bitches in her retirement community are rude and bogart the lines and do. And this one woman who seems to just get the biggest kick out of pulling Ma's chain. Ma is timid when it come to confronting people. I try to school her, bless her heart. I told her, "Ma, look. When that bitch starts in on you again, just go pure ghetto on her ass. All you've got to do is CUSS HER ASS OUT ONE GOOD TIME! I know that's not your style 'cause you's a boogie bitch, but this situation calls for an immediate verbal ass-kickin! Better yet. You want me to step to that old broad? Cause I'm sick and tired of hearing about this shit and I don't take kindly to mofos messin with my moms!"

Ma didn't take me up on the offer. She's knows her daughter. She said, "No. That's all right. I don't want people to see my beautiful daughter acting ugly." Like I could give a rat's ass what some people would think...

[Edited 11/23/10 13:36pm]

You know what's up.

If you do it jes right, folks straigten up right quick. My family knows better than to go there with me cuz I'm quick to remind 'em I'm grown and they ain't paying nar' bill so they can keep their opinions on my personal life to theyselves. At this point, I only have to tighten them up once every 5-6 years or when somebody drops YET another baby. They'll just gimme a look and glance away real quick.

Because I'm gay and gay marriage is illegal.

Anyway, I don't think I've ever been a relationship in my entire life ever. The closest I've ever come is sleeping with someone who was already a good friend but that's about it. I've been mainly a one night stand whore with complete strangers that I've never seen again or sometimes I've slept with the same person several times but never saw them inbetween the times I slept with them.

I've had two or three who wanted me to believe at the time that they were "my man" but I'm not a damn fool, I live in reality. Those have been the ones who thought if I was fool enough to believe that they were "my man", that I'd be fool enough to let them bleed off or mooch off me. Hell naw, Andy don't give up no money and ain't nobody's sucker....ever. I let them know real quick exactly what they were....a dick....and if I'm going to spend money on a dick, it's going to be a dick I own such as one in a magazine, movie, or computer screen. I will never spend a dime on a dick that can get up and walk away, hell, that's just renting a dick.

What it all boils down to, is nobody, and I do mean nobody is going to use, make a fool of, or get over on me. I think I would kill them first. I'm just fine with being a whore and probably will be one for the rest of my life.....that is unless I can find a man that wants to give up some dick but can't speak a word of English....that way I wouldn't know what the dumb shit he was talking meant.

vainandy said:

Because I'm gay and gay marriage is illegal.

Anyway, I don't think I've ever been a relationship in my entire life ever. The closest I've ever come is sleeping with someone who was already a good friend but that's about it. I've been mainly a one night stand whore with complete strangers that I've never seen again or sometimes I've slept with the same person several times but never saw them inbetween the times I slept with them.

I've had two or three who wanted me to believe at the time that they were "my man" but I'm not a damn fool, I live in reality. Those have been the ones who thought if I was fool enough to believe that they were "my man", that I'd be fool enough to let them bleed off or mooch off me. Hell naw, Andy don't give up no money and ain't nobody's sucker....ever. I let them know real quick exactly what they were....a dick....and if I'm going to spend money on a dick, it's going to be a dick I own such as one in a magazine, movie, or computer screen. I will never spend a dime on a dick that can get up and walk away, hell, that's just renting a dick.

What it all boils down to, is nobody, and I do mean nobody is going to use, make a fool of, or get over on me. I think I would kill them first. I'm just fine with being a whore and probably will be one for the rest of my life.....that is unless I can find a man that wants to give up some dick but can't speak a word of English....that way I wouldn't know what the dumb shit he was talking meant.

Ummmm, errrr, (cept for the gay part and the sex with strangers part )

[Edited 11/23/10 14:57pm]

vainandy said: I'm just fine with being a whore and probably will be one for the rest of my life.....

Please be a safe whore.

I lack the drive to pursue it. Probably somewhat a lack of confidence too. Plus I know I'm generally easier to get along with at a distance. My quietness tends to be a relationship killer.

FauxReal said:

I lack the drive to pursue it. Probably somewhat a lack of confidence too. Plus I know I'm generally easier to get along with at a distance. My quietness tends to be a relationship killer.

Your honesty is refreshing.

JustErin said:

FauxReal said:

I lack the drive to pursue it. Probably somewhat a lack of confidence too. Plus I know I'm generally easier to get along with at a distance. My quietness tends to be a relationship killer.

Your honesty is refreshing.

It's pretty good at killing relationships too.

FauxReal said: Plus I know I'm generally easier to get along with at a distance. My quietness tends to be a relationship killer.

Same here.

All the single orgers
Now put your hands up, woo oh ooh oh oh ooh oh oh ooh

Because there is no1 good enuff 4 me!

1. i'm very, very fussy these days and no one has made the connection with me i need them to make for me to want to have an intimate relationship with them.

2. because i've been single for so long, i dont think about it anymore. i've lost all 'need' to be with someone to the point where if i do think about it, it makes me feel very uncomfortable. i've grown to relish my own space, my own bed, my own privacy and i love my own company.

3. no man on earth has shown me he deserves me. i already have one child. i dont need or want another one. fed up totally with children in men's bodies. i dont want to be your mother. i'm not a toy, i'm not a prize, i'm not arm candy, i'm not the one you can fool, i see everything.

bring me a grown man who knows how to properly treat a woman, no games, and maybe then i'll think about it, but even then they'll need to do a lot to earn my trust. i dont do stupid. cant stand hearing "oh sorry" and "i didnt mean to..". give me someone with a brain, a loyal heart, and a penis that stays where it should instead of where it shouldnt. oh how the list goes on.

simply put: do. not. mess. with. me.

Lots of reasons.

1. I don't trust men.

2. I don't trust women.

3. I enjoy the fuck out of it. I come home, feed my daughter and go into my bedroom/sanctuary. I am a nurturer so I know I would be trying to take care of that person. Right now I don't have to take care of anyone but myself. Being alone is such heaven to me right now.

4. The majority of my friends relationships are pure drama. Fuck that. i know people say that relationships are work but I feel they should not be. If I gotta battle to be with someone i rather be alone.

5. Work, kids, school. It's the furthest thing from my mind.

6. I'm in the middle of loving myself. I went through pure hell over the past few years and learned a lot about people but mostly learned a lot about myself. I am thoroughly enjoying my own company.

7. I will never ever settle. I will have someone worthy of me or I will stay happily single.

Vendetta1 said:

Lots of reasons.

1. I don't trust men.

2. I don't trust women.

3. I enjoy the fuck out of it. I come home, feed my daughter and go into my bedroom/sanctuary. I am a nurturer so I know I would be trying to take care of that person. Right now I don't have to take care of anyone but myself. Being alone is such heaven to me right now.

4. The majority of my friends relationships are pure drama. Fuck that. i know people say that relationships are work but I feel they should not be. If I gotta battle to be with someone i rather be alone.

5. Work, kids, school. It's the furthest thing from my mind.

6. I'm in the middle of loving myself. I went through pure hell over the past few years and learned a lot about people but mostly learned a lot about myself. I am thoroughly enjoying my own company.

7. I will never ever settle. I will have someone worthy of me or I will stay happily single.

Right on,Ivy!

SoulAlive said:

Vendetta1 said:

Lots of reasons.

1. I don't trust men.

2. I don't trust women.

3. I enjoy the fuck out of it. I come home, feed my daughter and go into my bedroom/sanctuary. I am a nurturer so I know I would be trying to take care of that person. Right now I don't have to take care of anyone but myself. Being alone is such heaven to me right now.

4. The majority of my friends relationships are pure drama. Fuck that. i know people say that relationships are work but I feel they should not be. If I gotta battle to be with someone i rather be alone.

5. Work, kids, school. It's the furthest thing from my mind.

6. I'm in the middle of loving myself. I went through pure hell over the past few years and learned a lot about people but mostly learned a lot about myself. I am thoroughly enjoying my own company.

7. I will never ever settle. I will have someone worthy of me or I will stay happily single.

Right on,Ivy!

Hello David.

I love being single, i dont like being lonesome...

ultimately, im still single because.......tell me, i wont cry.

ultimately, people probably think im a complete and total jackass, very mean sometimes, not that i wanna be its just i feel like im never allowed to be angry or silent and im not good at crying. i do get pissed sometimes. i realize im a lil different, but damn. I am more than grateful for patience exercised towards me and i genuinely love folks with a bubbly heart warming sorta love, but i dont like being used and ignored at the same time. over n over n over n over n over n over again...

i've been pretty patient in that regard.

i hate the holidays.....:-/

FauxReal said:

I lack the drive to pursue it. Probably somewhat a lack of confidence too. Plus I know I'm generally easier to get along with at a distance. My quietness tends to be a relationship killer.

ugh...story of my life.

PANDURITO said:

All the single orgers
Now put your hands up, woo oh ooh oh oh ooh oh oh ooh

I am single because at a very young age my parents divorced.

And thru the years I've learned that people you love - FUCK YOU UP THE MOST

And people who love you - FUCK YOU UP JUST AS MUCH.

Not intentionally, it just happens. Why? Because you grow close and open up to people you love more than anyone. They occupy the biggest space of our hearts. We let ourselves become vulnerable. Sometimes, taken for granted.

I'm not saying love is bad. Just wondering why it has to be this way. People teach their children all kinds of awful behaviors (racism, sexism, greed, fear etc.) thinking they are, in fact, helping them.

There's an old quote that says "You always hurt the ones you love." I think there's a lot of truth to this saying.

Some people will disagree with post. But I hope it will cause people to think about others, be a little more open minded, and not be too selfish.

NONSENSE said:

I am single because at a very young age my parents divorced.

And thru the years I've learned that people you love - FUCK YOU UP THE MOST

And people who love you - FUCK YOU UP JUST AS MUCH.

Not intentionally, it just happens. Why? Because you grow close and open up to people you love more than anyone. They occupy the biggest space of our hearts. We let ourselves become vulnerable. Sometimes, taken for granted.

I'm not saying love is bad. Just wondering why it has to be this way. People teach their children all kinds of awful behaviors (racism, sexism, greed, fear etc.) thinking they are, in fact, helping them.

There's an old quote that says "You always hurt the ones you love." I think there's a lot of truth to this saying.

Some people will disagree with post. But I hope it will cause people to think about others, be a little more open minded, and not be too selfish.

As sad as it is...everything you just said is true

Vendetta1 said:

Lots of reasons.

1. I don't trust men.

2. I don't trust women.

3. I enjoy the fuck out of it. I come home, feed my daughter and go into my bedroom/sanctuary. I am a nurturer so I know I would be trying to take care of that person. Right now I don't have to take care of anyone but myself. Being alone is such heaven to me right now.

4. The majority of my friends relationships are pure drama. Fuck that. i know people say that relationships are work but I feel they should not be. If I gotta battle to be with someone i rather be alone.

5. Work, kids, school. It's the furthest thing from my mind.

6. I'm in the middle of loving myself. I went through pure hell over the past few years and learned a lot about people but mostly learned a lot about myself. I am thoroughly enjoying my own company.

7. I will never ever settle. I will have someone worthy of me or I will stay happily single.

I love your answers.

About the trust thing, I just had a conversation about that this morning. I mean, you really CANNOT trust A-N-Y-O-N-E. People will let you down, thats just the bottom line.

The pure drama thing I liked too. If you have to struggle for it, why do it? I think it takes a lot of confidence to decide to be alone rather than take what you can get and have drama along with it! Good for you!!!

JustErin said:

The main reason is I don't have the time....I'm focused on raising my young son and feel that a romantic relationship will take away from that.

Throw in some self esteem issues and an unorthodox way of thinking a relationship should be like and this is why I am single.

Explain.

BklynBabe said:

Plus a lot of married (+/- children) folk that I know seem kinda miserable... I can do misery by my damn self!

vainandy said:

Because I'm gay and gay marriage is illegal.

...then there's THAT, lol.

Put as simply as possible, I realized that I love freedom more than anything else. I love my life as it is and consider myself incredibly lucky that I've stumbled on some wisdom (Zen, etc.) that's shown me that happiness is self-created.

Ace said:

Put as simply as possible, I realized that I love freedom more than anything else. I love my life as it is and consider myself incredibly lucky that I've stumbled on some wisdom (Zen, etc.) that's shown me that happiness is self-created.

Yep. If you go into a relationship thinking that a certain someone is suppose to make you happy . . . you're in trouble and the relationship is doomed.

I've been single by choice 4 about the last year. I realized I was getting in2 relationships with men 4 the wrong reasons and always wound up with the wrong ones. I needed 2 take a step back, make a realistic list (no, really) of what I was looking 4 and stick 2 it. I made a promise 2 myself that I wasn't getting in2 another relationship until some1 really rocked my world.

Becoming less available has also increased my magnetism I've found. Every1 wants what they can't have so I've turned down more than a few dudes in the last year because I could see they weren't what I was looking 4. Stepping back comes with an awesome free gift: Perspective.

There r things I miss about being in a relationship (I was married for 5 years) and it gets lonely at times but it's given me time 2 focus on me, I have great friends and since I'm a gay man I'm pretty much NEVER without the opportunity 4 sex, lol.

Ace said:

Put as simply as possible, I realized that I love freedom more than anything else. I love my life as it is and consider myself incredibly lucky that I've stumbled on some wisdom (Zen, etc.) that's shown me that happiness is self-created.

That's interesting... I love my freedom way too much, and I hate how people tend to make you believe you HAVE TO share your life with somebody in order to be happy.. And I just hate the concept of my Happiness depending on a single person.. LIkes she's the "weatherwoman" of your life...

My parents have never really been together and I've witnessed so much misery in my family (divorces, extra-marital affaires, single-parenthood...) that I don't believe in that "everlasting love/be happy for ever and ever" thing...

Funny how my 'committed' friends love to telle me how great/fantastic/unbelievable/magic it is to be in love/relationship, then run to me to ask for advice when things go wrong... What's up with it? You made a choice, deal with the pros and cons of it!

I'm single because relationships are for those with ALOT of patience, something that I only have a tiny bit of