Tonight we watched the boxing match, hosted the parties we usually do Fridays..stay u all the way until 5 am...I woke up today just..done.

First things first...we ordered some food to eat as usual every weekend...between threee of us it came to be $71.00 So I am kinda like, woah I spent alot on that...our friend did give me $10.00 for his part and I didnt care about paying my partners food because we always have eachothers back...but man it was alot of money...

Then my partner is not up to date on the bill so I covered for them so that they acan order the fight...I'll get paid tomorrow no biggie...so Im not financially unhappy...

All the people that show up I'm cool with and have known for a long time, but ..I feel just a tad detached from everyone else...like I'm different...I mean it can't be because I am the only black person in the room..maybe because I just feel like none of them relate to me? They must because my partner is gay and gets along with everyone fine...I just ...feel..not there ... or not wanting to be. Tired of drinking and stuff maybe..but all in all..I just feel not myself. Tired of hosting parties every weeknd...tired of looking at hungover people in the morning...God I know I sound like a Debbie Downer, but today...ugh..I'm just sick of it.

luv4u said:

thank u...sometimes just an open vent just makes me feel a bit better!

it doesn't sound like a downer. Sometimes you just need to change. Sometimes that need for change happens gradually....sometimes it happens abruptly.

It's part of maturing. Find a new groove, cut the party weekends to twice or once a month, find happiness.

Maybe you just need a few people around who aren't freeloaders.

Genesia said:

Maybe you just need a few people around who aren't freeloaders.

You said what I was thinking.

It's hard to be "the generous host" every weekend. Are you sure the party needs to be at your place/cost? I like Jersey's suggestion too.

stop payin for shyt...??

Take some time off of it and do something different on the weekends you don't host. By all means don't front the money on things even though you aren't strapped, that can feel heavy real quick. Talk to you partner, ( I know you have), and spend some just pampering yourself. Just sounds like you are tired of the same 'ol same 'ol...

I agree with a lot of what's already been said. Quit letting people freeload. Slow down on the every weekend thing. (That must be exhausting!) And maybe change your scene up by expanding your repertoire...

If you must go out next weekend, why not have a romantic dinner and walk across St. Anthony Falls with just your partner? Maybe double date and go see a nice play with another couple who ain't gonna need you to pay. Or you could stay home and host, I suppose, but this time challenge your friends to each bring some frou frou dish that they've prepared themselves! Then opt for good food, good wine (maybe even have a one-night beer ban ) and stimulating conversation over just watching TV and getting hammered.

[Edited 11/14/10 14:08pm]

Stop paying for their food and drinks every weekend.

Wait a few weeks and see who's still around. Those are your friends.

It seems to me as if you need some "me" time. Just you and your partner - no one else - slow down, take stock of what matters.

Lammastide said:

I agree with a lot of what's already been said. Quit letting people freeload. Slow down on the every weekend thing. (That must be exhausting!) And maybe change your scene up by expanding your repertoire...

If you must go out next weekend, why not have a romantic dinner and walk across St. Anthony Falls with just your partner? Maybe double date and go see a nice play with another couple who ain't gonna need you to pay. Or you could stay home and host, I suppose, but this time challenge your friends to each bring some frou frou dish that they've prepared themselves! Then opt for good food, good wine (maybe even have a one-night beer ban ) and stimulating conversation over just watching TV and getting hammered.

[Edited 11/14/10 14:08pm]

that sounds like something I need to do LOL.

yes, I agree with the sentiments above. DO YOU. take care of you and stop giving and giving and giving.

blueblossom said:

It seems to me as if you need some "me" time. Just you and your partner - no one else - slow down, take stock of what matters.

Very insightful! More like "us" time as a couple on the weekend.

Just make your functions BYOB and bring a dish of something.

Or win the lottery and buy a whole new batch of friends.

Efan said:

Stop paying for their food and drinks every weekend.

Wait a few weeks and see who's still around. Those are your friends.

agreed

Chile. You need to take some of that money and invest in some quality time with your partner and yourself.

Find a wholesome activity you can enjoy together like a cute new restaurant or go to a movie or play you've been wanting to see.

Take the other half of that money that you would have spent on your freeloadin' friends that weekend... and invest in some "you time". Take your behind to a spa, get in the sauna or jacuzzi, or get a massage or a facial. Treat yourself to your favorite snack afterwards & go browsing through bookshops or whatever your favorite kinds of stores are. Read through a damn Oprah magazine to get some positive words of encouragement. Lastly, don't be afraid to change your circle of friends if they become dead weight. Most importantly,keep your head up and know that this too, shall pass.

paisleypark4 said:

Oh my god u guys hit the nail on the head! Thank you for your positive comments. Yes I am getting tired of taking care of people. I am going to just stop participating for a while you guys are right. Its like, both of us are too busy looking after everyone and don't take hardly anytime for ourselves. The last time we did anything together was two weeks ago...so like you guys said I am going to just stop doing it and just "do me" and hopefully the parties will be more fun next time. I can always count on the org

Best wishes, Isaiah. And with all the money you'll save, consider buying me a nice Christmas present.

Efan said:

Stop paying for their food and drinks every weekend.

Wait a few weeks and see who's still around. Those are your friends.