retina said:

Mach said:

I love this modern image of Narcissus

http://www.matarodavergat...cissus.jpg

Ugh. Please slap an NSFW label on that one.

no shit, I'm glad my little girls weren't in the room just now.

retina said:

Mach said:

I love this modern image of Narcissus

http://www.matarodavergat...cissus.jpg

Ugh. Please slap an NSFW label on that one.

Ack ~ apologies

Mach said:

retina said:

Ugh. Please slap an NSFW label on that one.

Ack ~ apologies

It's ok. I should have learned by now never to click any links on the org whatsoever. lol

retina said:

Mach said:

Ack ~ apologies

It's ok. I should have learned by now never to click any links on the org whatsoever. lol

That's a truth !

Mach said:

I love this modern image of Narcissus

NSFW

http://www.matarodavergat...cissus.jpg

.

[Edited 11/16/10 16:57pm]

It's a cool photo, but I assumed he'd be staring at his own reflection in a shop window or something.

Lammastide said:

Mach said:

I love this modern image of Narcissus

NSFW

http://www.matarodavergat...cissus.jpg

.

[Edited 11/16/10 16:57pm]

It's a cool photo, but I assumed he'd be staring at his own reflection in a shop window or something.

Funkcreep said:

Any tips/ideas are welcomed. I have a "friend" who I've know since 3rd grade (I'm 44 now), and in the past 10 years or so I've come to the realization that he's a narcissist!

Examples:

Topics of conversation always about him

When answering his phone calls, he asks how I'm doing but never follows up with anything of substance:

A: hello

B: what are you doing??

A: well I'm going to basketball practice right now, we won our first game last week so I'm excited to try out some new ideas

B: alright, alright...yeah I'm just .......(never comes back with anything, steals the conversation immediately and starts talking about himself)

When braggin about how much money he makes, he accuses people of being jealous of him if somebody says something like, "hey Tom, we really don't need to know how much money your making".

Puts people down at every opportunity, reminds people of their failures (a friend of his didn't change his greeting on his voice mail, it still had the company that he used to have) and of course Tom just had to remind him, in a mocking way that you need to change your voice mail greeting.

A recent party he threw (in his honor of course), only 4 people showed up out of the 20 or so that were invited. And 2 of those people that did show up were 4 hours late when it was almost bedtime. Heres the breakdown:

Sue - my sister (so in reality not even his friend, but was invited cause he's desperate)

Sue's 10 year old daughter - she had no choice in the matter

Jack - my brother (showed up 4 hours late on purpose)

Cindy - Tom's mom

and thats it!

Sad.

Thankfully I was busy that night.

I know I'll get the "run away" tips and just don't talk to him and ignore him, but in reality, not sure if thats going to happen, i'm looking for a way to deal with it. My wife has already refused to go with me down his house and just told me earlier DONT invite him to a get together we're having this Saturday.

that doesnt sound like narcissism to me.

maybe you could learn to use this trait to your advantage?

Tremolina said:

Tremolina said:

Funkcreep said:

Any tips/ideas are welcomed. I have a "friend" who I've know since 3rd grade (I'm 44 now), and in the past 10 years or so I've come to the realization that he's a narcissist!

Examples:

Topics of conversation always about him

When answering his phone calls, he asks how I'm doing but never follows up with anything of substance:

A: hello

B: what are you doing??

A: well I'm going to basketball practice right now, we won our first game last week so I'm excited to try out some new ideas

B: alright, alright...yeah I'm just .......(never comes back with anything, steals the conversation immediately and starts talking about himself)

When braggin about how much money he makes, he accuses people of being jealous of him if somebody says something like, "hey Tom, we really don't need to know how much money your making".

Puts people down at every opportunity, reminds people of their failures (a friend of his didn't change his greeting on his voice mail, it still had the company that he used to have) and of course Tom just had to remind him, in a mocking way that you need to change your voice mail greeting.

A recent party he threw (in his honor of course), only 4 people showed up out of the 20 or so that were invited. And 2 of those people that did show up were 4 hours late when it was almost bedtime. Heres the breakdown:

Sue - my sister (so in reality not even his friend, but was invited cause he's desperate)

Sue's 10 year old daughter - she had no choice in the matter

Jack - my brother (showed up 4 hours late on purpose)

Cindy - Tom's mom

and thats it!

Sad.

Thankfully I was busy that night.

I know I'll get the "run away" tips and just don't talk to him and ignore him, but in reality, not sure if thats going to happen, i'm looking for a way to deal with it. My wife has already refused to go with me down his house and just told me earlier DONT invite him to a get together we're having this Saturday.

that doesnt sound like narcissism to me.

Uh oh.

I think our resident Dutchipoo is trying to tell us he needs an intervention.

Tremolina said:

Funkcreep said:

Any tips/ideas are welcomed. I have a "friend" who I've know since 3rd grade (I'm 44 now), and in the past 10 years or so I've come to the realization that he's a narcissist!

Examples:

Topics of conversation always about him

When answering his phone calls, he asks how I'm doing but never follows up with anything of substance:

A: hello

B: what are you doing??

A: well I'm going to basketball practice right now, we won our first game last week so I'm excited to try out some new ideas

B: alright, alright...yeah I'm just .......(never comes back with anything, steals the conversation immediately and starts talking about himself)

When braggin about how much money he makes, he accuses people of being jealous of him if somebody says something like, "hey Tom, we really don't need to know how much money your making".

Puts people down at every opportunity, reminds people of their failures (a friend of his didn't change his greeting on his voice mail, it still had the company that he used to have) and of course Tom just had to remind him, in a mocking way that you need to change your voice mail greeting.

A recent party he threw (in his honor of course), only 4 people showed up out of the 20 or so that were invited. And 2 of those people that did show up were 4 hours late when it was almost bedtime. Heres the breakdown:

Sue - my sister (so in reality not even his friend, but was invited cause he's desperate)

Sue's 10 year old daughter - she had no choice in the matter

Jack - my brother (showed up 4 hours late on purpose)

Cindy - Tom's mom

and thats it!

Sad.

Thankfully I was busy that night.

I know I'll get the "run away" tips and just don't talk to him and ignore him, but in reality, not sure if thats going to happen, i'm looking for a way to deal with it. My wife has already refused to go with me down his house and just told me earlier DONT invite him to a get together we're having this Saturday.

that doesnt sound like narcissism to me.

A fews years back I made the mistake of going with him to get a haircut. No lie, after the haircut, he looked at himself in the mirror for 5-10 minutes. It was bad.

Funkcreep said:

Tremolina said:

that doesnt sound like narcissism to me.

A fews years back I made the mistake of going with him to get a haircut. No lie, after the haircut, he looked at himself in the mirror for 5-10 minutes. It was bad.

lol yeah, that sounds bad.

I am not a psychologist, but I have a client who is diagnosed with narcissism and it's not like he is always looking in the mirror or finding himself extremely handsome or something like that. Everybody always thinks about the myth of the handsome young man that couldn't stop looking at himself, but narcissism is more an issue of having an extreme sense of self importance and pride as a way of self defense, which extreme vanity could be a part of, but not necessarily. My client basically suffers from having a personality that is vulnerable to severe depressions and psychoses whenever his pride is hurt, for example when he gets really hurt or offended by somebody. Everybody has pride and everybody hurts when their pride is offended, but a narcissist hurts extremely and as a consequence has real trouble in dealing with that in a normal way. S/he just can't let go off it and can't put it into perspective anymore. The offense starts to rule their minds, their lives and everybody around them. Justice must be done at all cost, but when this fails to materialise and the offense remains, the narcissist world crumbles. The narcissist becomes severely depressed and vulnerable to abuse by others, or starts abusing others himself, or drugs, alcohol, etc.

It's THAT bad.

--

[Edited 11/17/10 13:38pm]

One of the old salesmen in our office is/was a narcissist. He was a good-looking guy and even though he pretended to be modest, he basked in the attention that women gave him. He was always fishing for compliments, and was always charming the ladies. Needless to say, he screwed around on his wife one-too-many times and now is living back down south after his divorce.

I checked out his FB page just out of curiosity (not his "friend")...his occupation is now "Personal Trainer". PERFECT.

You d be better off looking at yourself and asking what you get out of having this person as a friend. You probably have selfish reasons for talking to him.

ConsciousContact said:

You d be better off looking at yourself and asking what you get out of having this person as a friend. You probably have selfish reasons for talking to him.

I can't think of any. I cringe when I see his picture show up on called ID. I almost don't answer it, but then he'll leave a voice mail and then you have to deal with it sooner or later. Reminds me of a Seinfeld episode when Jerry tries to defriend some guy but changes his mind after the guy starts weeping. I guess I feel sorry for my friend.

Cool...he just called and I got him off the phone in 2 minutes flat!!! Kept changing subject on him and then said "hey really gotta go"! It would really suck to be married to somebody like this.

Easy.

Instead of his name, call him princess. He'll get the point really quick.

Challenge him to a game of one-on-one and win by at least ten points.

Asymphony5 said:

Easy.

Instead of his name, call him princess. He'll get the point really quick.