Ok, i read the general discussion boards and i respect quite a few people on here=]

Btw been here for a bit but, don't post to much on this forum so hello everyone for 2nd=]

Ok, i have a serious question, i am 19 and i live in Hollywood, currently going to film school and music program. There is ton's of gay people around here, and i myself am gay. but i don't fit into the gay lifestyle... and i really don't want to.

I act like a regular guy like i am sure tons of gay's do as well, i dress pretty normal, i hate club music in fact Jazz & blues are my fav , 99 percent of my friend's are straight and i am ok with that..

A lot of gay's here, some are different but a lot fall into the girly, Lady GaGa worshiping gay people rule type stance.

I Lived in Texas, before i came down here i was on the football team and people in my town where very non cool with gay's, and all the open ones where stereotypical types. And so i was very quiet about anything to do with my private life, even to my best friend's for years. Now that i am in Hollywood they are very open here, and i think that is AWESOME!

But idk... it's weird i feel i have WAY more in common with my straight friend's then any gay/bi guy i come across. And my ex he was the same way almost no gay friend's, and the current guy i am interested is.... exactly like me to in that regard lol. Am i wrong for not trying to get more into the gay lifestyle? i mean it's just not me, i don't mind the fact almost all my friend's are straight but other people, seem to thank that is weird

I usually don't care what people think, but idk... Like i was for Gay Marriage but besides that i'm not into gay rights, parades or any crap like that.

I also try not to cuss but i am a guy.. and you know when guys always one up each other on insults lol i say fag and thing's.. it doesn't offend me personally. I respect those people who it does and i wouldn't say it around them, but it doesn't offend me at all, in fact any gay insult has never offended me personally.

Any who is this odd? surely there are more gay/bi people who might feel the same way

I am not gay, so I do not know how you feel BUT you shouldn't feel wrong for the way you feel or act. THAT IS YOU! If you are not like that, you are not like that.

You said it yourself....... you don't fit into that lifestyle and you really don't want to. SO DON'T. Then you will become something you are not and HATE IT.

Being 19, and moving from Texas to Hollywood is a big change. However, DON'T change YOU!.

Maybe God is trying to tell u something!!! That u are STRAIGHT!!!

Have u tried changing your lifestyle????

Gunsnhalen said:

Ok, i read the general discussion boards and i respect quite a few people on here=]

Btw been here for a bit but, don't post to much on this forum so hello everyone for 2nd=]

Ok, i have a serious question, i am 19 and i live in Hollywood, currently going to film school and music program. There is ton's of gay people around here, and i myself am gay. but i don't fit into the gay lifestyle... and i really don't want to.

I act like a regular guy like i am sure tons of gay's do as well, i dress pretty normal, i hate club music in fact Jazz & blues are my fav , 99 percent of my friend's are straight and i am ok with that..

A lot of gay's here, some are different but a lot fall into the girly, Lady GaGa worshiping gay people rule type stance.

I Lived in Texas, before i came down here i was on the football team and people in my town where very non cool with gay's, and all the open ones where stereotypical types. And so i was very quiet about anything to do with my private life, even to my best friend's for years. Now that i am in Hollywood they are very open here, and i think that is AWESOME!

But idk... it's weird i feel i have WAY more in common with my straight friend's then any gay/bi guy i come across. And my ex he was the same way almost no gay friend's, and the current guy i am interested is.... exactly like me to in that regard lol. Am i wrong for not trying to get more into the gay lifestyle? i mean it's just not me, i don't mind the fact almost all my friend's are straight but other people, seem to thank that is weird

I usually don't care what people think, but idk... Like i was for Gay Marriage but besides that i'm not into gay rights, parades or any crap like that.

I also try not to cuss but i am a guy.. and you know when guys always one up each other on insults lol i say fag and thing's.. it doesn't offend me personally. I respect those people who it does and i wouldn't say it around them, but it doesn't offend me at all, in fact any gay insult has never offended me personally.

Any who is this odd? surely there are more gay/bi people who might feel the same way

i don't think i can totally, completely relate, but imo you aren't wrong. you should be free to express your own 'gay' style, without having to conform to the 'fashionably gay' appearances.

i think maybe gay folks have had to fight for their own lifestyles for so long that the endeavor has become almost, stylized. a kind of badge of honor in a way.

There is absolutely nothing wrong with you. There is no right or wrong way to be gay, just as there is no right or wrong way to be straight. The only way to be truly happy is to just be who you are - and let others be who they are.

Gunsnhalen said:

Ok, i read the general discussion boards and i respect quite a few people on here=]

Btw been here for a bit but, don't post to much on this forum so hello everyone for 2nd=]

Ok, i have a serious question, i am 19 and i live in Hollywood, currently going to film school and music program. There is ton's of gay people around here, and i myself am gay. but i don't fit into the gay lifestyle... and i really don't want to.

I act like a regular guy like i am sure tons of gay's do as well, i dress pretty normal, i hate club music in fact Jazz & blues are my fav , 99 percent of my friend's are straight and i am ok with that..

A lot of gay's here, some are different but a lot fall into the girly, Lady GaGa worshiping gay people rule type stance.

I Lived in Texas, before i came down here i was on the football team and people in my town where very non cool with gay's, and all the open ones where stereotypical types. And so i was very quiet about anything to do with my private life, even to my best friend's for years. Now that i am in Hollywood they are very open here, and i think that is AWESOME!

But idk... it's weird i feel i have WAY more in common with my straight friend's then any gay/bi guy i come across. And my ex he was the same way almost no gay friend's, and the current guy i am interested is.... exactly like me to in that regard lol. Am i wrong for not trying to get more into the gay lifestyle? i mean it's just not me, i don't mind the fact almost all my friend's are straight but other people, seem to thank that is weird

I usually don't care what people think, but idk... Like i was for Gay Marriage but besides that i'm not into gay rights, parades or any crap like that.

I also try not to cuss but i am a guy.. and you know when guys always one up each other on insults lol i say fag and thing's.. it doesn't offend me personally. I respect those people who it does and i wouldn't say it around them, but it doesn't offend me at all, in fact any gay insult has never offended me personally.

Any who is this odd? surely there are more gay/bi people who might feel the same way

Ugghh.

You are so so so wrong

You MUST give up jazz and blues IMMEDIATELY. It's club music or broadway musicals only for you

mynameisnotsusan said:

Gunsnhalen said:

Ok, i read the general discussion boards and i respect quite a few people on here=]

Btw been here for a bit but, don't post to much on this forum so hello everyone for 2nd=]

Ok, i have a serious question, i am 19 and i live in Hollywood, currently going to film school and music program. There is ton's of gay people around here, and i myself am gay. but i don't fit into the gay lifestyle... and i really don't want to.

I act like a regular guy like i am sure tons of gay's do as well, i dress pretty normal, i hate club music in fact Jazz & blues are my fav , 99 percent of my friend's are straight and i am ok with that..

A lot of gay's here, some are different but a lot fall into the girly, Lady GaGa worshiping gay people rule type stance.

I Lived in Texas, before i came down here i was on the football team and people in my town where very non cool with gay's, and all the open ones where stereotypical types. And so i was very quiet about anything to do with my private life, even to my best friend's for years. Now that i am in Hollywood they are very open here, and i think that is AWESOME!

But idk... it's weird i feel i have WAY more in common with my straight friend's then any gay/bi guy i come across. And my ex he was the same way almost no gay friend's, and the current guy i am interested is.... exactly like me to in that regard lol. Am i wrong for not trying to get more into the gay lifestyle? i mean it's just not me, i don't mind the fact almost all my friend's are straight but other people, seem to thank that is weird

I usually don't care what people think, but idk... Like i was for Gay Marriage but besides that i'm not into gay rights, parades or any crap like that.

I also try not to cuss but i am a guy.. and you know when guys always one up each other on insults lol i say fag and thing's.. it doesn't offend me personally. I respect those people who it does and i wouldn't say it around them, but it doesn't offend me at all, in fact any gay insult has never offended me personally.

Any who is this odd? surely there are more gay/bi people who might feel the same way

Ugghh.

You are so so so wrong

You MUST give up jazz and blues IMMEDIATELY. It's club music or broadway musicals only for you

I know what you mean. I felt similarly when I was your age, although I didn't completely come out of the closet until my early 20s. I found the "problem" was with me (my perception of myself vs. what I thought being gay was all about). Once I stopped caring about trying to fit in with the predominant gay scene--which I was never going to fit into anyway--I started to enjoy it a lot more. One thing I would never question is a good friend, though--straight, gay, whatever, when you've got a good friend, fight tooth and nail to hold on to him/her.

Desire2006 said:

Maybe God is trying to tell u something!!! That u are STRAIGHT!!!

Have u tried changing your lifestyle????

Please shut the fuck up. Thank you.

So... you're gay, but act unstereotypically and have your own interests. Big deal.

Two things to watch out for:

1) Folk -- both straight and gay -- tyring to pin you into some absurd conception of what being gay is. When/if they go there, to hell with them.

2) You feeling you're somehow "better" for "acting straight." When/if you go there, to hell with you.

Folk, including gay folk, come in all sorts of permutations. And guess what? We're all gonna die and rot in the end.

Just be you.

Just be yourself and live to make people happy, and you will find more happiness than you ever thought possible.

mynameisnotsusan said:

Gunsnhalen said:

Ok, i read the general discussion boards and i respect quite a few people on here=]

Btw been here for a bit but, don't post to much on this forum so hello everyone for 2nd=]

Ok, i have a serious question, i am 19 and i live in Hollywood, currently going to film school and music program. There is ton's of gay people around here, and i myself am gay. but i don't fit into the gay lifestyle... and i really don't want to.

I act like a regular guy like i am sure tons of gay's do as well, i dress pretty normal, i hate club music in fact Jazz & blues are my fav , 99 percent of my friend's are straight and i am ok with that..

A lot of gay's here, some are different but a lot fall into the girly, Lady GaGa worshiping gay people rule type stance.

I Lived in Texas, before i came down here i was on the football team and people in my town where very non cool with gay's, and all the open ones where stereotypical types. And so i was very quiet about anything to do with my private life, even to my best friend's for years. Now that i am in Hollywood they are very open here, and i think that is AWESOME!

But idk... it's weird i feel i have WAY more in common with my straight friend's then any gay/bi guy i come across. And my ex he was the same way almost no gay friend's, and the current guy i am interested is.... exactly like me to in that regard lol. Am i wrong for not trying to get more into the gay lifestyle? i mean it's just not me, i don't mind the fact almost all my friend's are straight but other people, seem to thank that is weird

I usually don't care what people think, but idk... Like i was for Gay Marriage but besides that i'm not into gay rights, parades or any crap like that.

I also try not to cuss but i am a guy.. and you know when guys always one up each other on insults lol i say fag and thing's.. it doesn't offend me personally. I respect those people who it does and i wouldn't say it around them, but it doesn't offend me at all, in fact any gay insult has never offended me personally.

Any who is this odd? surely there are more gay/bi people who might feel the same way

Ugghh.

You are so so so wrong

You MUST give up jazz and blues IMMEDIATELY. It's club music or broadway musicals only for you

Desire2006 said:

Maybe God is trying to tell u something!!! That u are STRAIGHT!!!

Have u tried changing your lifestyle????

LOL, well i am 100 PERCENT sure i am gay, just trust me on that friend lol

Lammastide said:

So... you're gay, but act unstereotypically and have your own interests. Big deal.

Two things to watch out for:

1) Folk -- both straight and gay -- tyring to pin you into some absurd conception of what being gay is. When/if they go there, to hell with them.

2) You feeling you're somehow "better" for "acting straight." When/if you go there, to hell with you.

Folk, including gay folk, come in all sorts of permutations. And guess what? We're all gonna die and rot in the end.

Just be you.

I Have sadly had a few what you call FOLK people

In Texas i had a relationship with 2 guys, who like me both where not open. And both these guys just had got out of relationship with a girl...

They both started changing, where very weird about anything intimate. And both joined The Marines it was a weird experience to say the least.

One of the guys just freaked out on me one gay saying he was never gay, and that we where only friend's and now he's married top the chick he dated before, who cheated on him twice

And the other, is now dating a girl and off somewhere in Cali we never talk anymore=[

Genesia said:

There is absolutely nothing wrong with you. There is no right or wrong way to be gay, just as there is no right or wrong way to be straight. The only way to be truly happy is to just be who you are - and let others be who they are.

Very true

This is not a gay/straight issue.... this is an issue of standard of self respect.

I didn't do what a lot of girls my age did that lived in my area, some thought I was a snob and bourghie but I just grew tired of the noise of the club scene... it was just a nasty meat market.

So I can totally relate with what you are saying. I never understood why people felt a need to plow themselves with drugs and alcohol to have fun, or sex up everything in sight and run their bodies ragged. Ridiculous!

You do you, it seems like you are ahead of the curve and loving who you are! Stay blessed

Desire2006 said:

Maybe God is trying to tell u something!!! That u are STRAIGHT!!!

Have u tried changing your lifestyle????

Wow... you make me ashamed to be a Christian! What a poor example you are, you don't have something better to do? Really? Is this how you show others that God is love?

Disgusting.

Lammastide said:

So... you're gay, but act unstereotypically and have your own interests. Big deal.

Two things to watch out for:

1) Folk -- both straight and gay -- tyring to pin you into some absurd conception of what being gay is. When/if they go there, to hell with them.

2) You feeling you're somehow "better" for "acting straight." When/if you go there, to hell with you.

Folk, including gay folk, come in all sorts of permutations. And guess what? We're all gonna die and rot in the end.

Just be you.

paintedlady said:

Desire2006 said:

Maybe God is trying to tell u something!!! That u are STRAIGHT!!!

Have u tried changing your lifestyle????

Wow... you make me ashamed to be a Christian! What a poor example you are, you don't have something better to do? Really? Is this how you show others that God is love?

Disgusting.

I feel this may have been a bit of a joke, idk if they really meant anything bad about that statement=]

But either way i also am a Christian. And yes, with these crazy ass christians like the Westboro baptist church out there it does give us a bad name

Gunsnhalen said:

Lammastide said:

So... you're gay, but act unstereotypically and have your own interests. Big deal.

Two things to watch out for:

1) Folk -- both straight and gay -- tyring to pin you into some absurd conception of what being gay is. When/if they go there, to hell with them.

2) You feeling you're somehow "better" for "acting straight." When/if you go there, to hell with you.

Folk, including gay folk, come in all sorts of permutations. And guess what? We're all gonna die and rot in the end.

Just be you.

I Have sadly had a few what you call FOLK people

In Texas i had a relationship with 2 guys, who like me both where not open. And both these guys just had got out of relationship with a girl...

They both started changing, where very weird about anything intimate. And both joined The Marines it was a weird experience to say the least.

One of the guys just freaked out on me one gay saying he was never gay, and that we where only friend's and now he's married top the chick he dated before, who cheated on him twice

And the other, is now dating a girl and off somewhere in Cali we never talk anymore=[

The process of reconciling ourselves to ourselves/to the world/to God/to... whatever is one that sometimes takes us some odd turns. We end up in places we may never expect; sometimes we end up being people we'd never expect. That's why it's important, while aligning ourselves with good, positive cohorts, to permit ourselves a certain evolution at our own pace... and permitting others the same.

I hope your two friends will wind up OK -- and I hope they don't screw up the lives of the girls they've met in the process. But in the meantime, you be you. Learn, always retain some sense of dignity... and enjoy.

Gunsnhalen said:

paintedlady said:

Wow... you make me ashamed to be a Christian! What a poor example you are, you don't have something better to do? Really? Is this how you show others that God is love?

Disgusting.

I feel this may have been a bit of a joke, idk if they really meant anything bad about that statement=]

But either way i also am a Christian. And yes, with these crazy ass christians like the Westboro baptist church out there it does give us a bad name

I never take statements like these as a joke. I have seen too much in the church that caused great harm to straight AND gay young men to think otherwise.

Like a guy has to act any specific way? So if a little boy plays with a doll he's gay? You see where I am going with this....

Now I also must pull back a bit and say that I do not mean this as a personal attck on Desire2006, but an attack on the mentality behind a statement like the one she posted.

I just expect Christians to be the example of the greatest commandment. I know you understand, and so should Desire2006.

OOOOOOOOOH! Cher and Liza mad. They reeeeeal mad.

johnart said:

OOOOOOOOOH! Cher and Liza mad. They reeeeeal mad.

Cher is on my cool list!

Liza.... um.... well i liked her in Arrested Development

Gunsnhalen said:

johnart said:

OOOOOOOOOH! Cher and Liza mad. They reeeeeal mad.

Cher is on my cool list!

Liza.... um.... well i liked her in Arrested Development

I kid of course.

As "typically gay" as I am about some stuff, we're also very non-typical in other ways. We have not been a part of any gay scene since longer than I can really recall. We have no male gay friends (had one in PA and one of my oldest friends lives in FL). Aside from that our only "real life" gay male friends have come fromt he org (Efan and cborg). So pretty much the only time we hang out with other gay dudes is during org meetups.

Pretty much all our friends are straight couples and females.

Oh, and jazz kicks ass.

[Edited 11/14/10 16:35pm]

paintedlady said:

Gunsnhalen said:

I feel this may have been a bit of a joke, idk if they really meant anything bad about that statement=]

But either way i also am a Christian. And yes, with these crazy ass christians like the Westboro baptist church out there it does give us a bad name

I never take statements like these as a joke. I have seen too much in the church that caused great harm to straight AND gay young men to think otherwise.

Like a guy has to act any specific way? So if a little boy plays with a doll he's gay? You see where I am going with this....

Now I also must pull back a bit and say that I do not mean this as a personal attck on Desire2006, but an attack on the mentality behind a statement like the one she posted.

I just expect Christians to be the example of the greatest commandment. I know you understand, and so should Desire2006.

This Christian agrees 150%.

paintedlady said:

This is not a gay/straight issue.... this is an issue of standard of self respect.

I didn't do what a lot of girls my age did that lived in my area, some thought I was a snob and bourghie but I just grew tired of the noise of the club scene... it was just a nasty meat market.

So I can totally relate with what you are saying. I never understood why people felt a need to plow themselves with drugs and alcohol to have fun, or sex up everything in sight and run their bodies ragged. Ridiculous!

You do you, it seems like you are ahead of the curve and loving who you are! Stay blessed

paintedlady said:

This is not a gay/straight issue.... this is an issue of standard of self respect.

I didn't do what a lot of girls my age did that lived in my area, some thought I was a snob and bourghie but I just grew tired of the noise of the club scene... it was just a nasty meat market.

So I can totally relate with what you are saying. I never understood why people felt a need to plow themselves with drugs and alcohol to have fun, or sex up everything in sight and run their bodies ragged. Ridiculous!

You do you, it seems like you are ahead of the curve and loving who you are! Stay blessed

When I came of age, it was in South Beach, Florida with shenanigans going on you wouldn't believe. Back then, Miami Beach was being settled by the 30 somethings that came of age in club scene from 70's NY and Europe- they were creating a Studio 54 atmosphere on the beach and it was thrilling and hedonistic and just...dizzying...! For straights, for gays, for everybody!

But you know what? I had to grow up eventually and focus on the life I wanted for myself rather than be consumed with the Velvet Rope Lifestyle. This was true of a good portion of us from that time. Regardless of sexual orientation, after the thrill of nightlife wore off, people began to focus on things that were meaningful and lasting: their careers, businesses, home, spiritual walk, and so on. Gunsnhalen's issue has nothing to do with his sexuality vs.he needs to get away from the knuckleheads who have no sense of life purpose. His deal sounds to me as if it's a matter of finding the right friends with similar interests and values...and they're out there. You just gotta look for them in the right places. Being in a big city, there have got to be gay newspapers and websites available that have listings for non-club oriented events; think along the lines of volunteer organizations, special interest/hobby events, and gay friendly churches...

Ottensen said:

paintedlady said:

This is not a gay/straight issue.... this is an issue of standard of self respect.

I didn't do what a lot of girls my age did that lived in my area, some thought I was a snob and bourghie but I just grew tired of the noise of the club scene... it was just a nasty meat market.

So I can totally relate with what you are saying. I never understood why people felt a need to plow themselves with drugs and alcohol to have fun, or sex up everything in sight and run their bodies ragged. Ridiculous!

You do you, it seems like you are ahead of the curve and loving who you are! Stay blessed

Whoopsie, double post edit!

You are not wrong. Those who judge you or try to put you into a box are wrong.

Those who tell you that maybe you should try to be something else are wrong.

Those people are jealous, ignorant or just plain stupid.

Labels suck, just be you!