My oldest son "E" will be 16 on Dec 12. He is 6 ft tall with six pack abs, brown skinned with perfect pretty boy hair and hazel eyes (his mom has a Turkish father and Honduran mother, my mom has a Creole father and white mother, my father a black, white, Cherokee mix). He is the nicest kid you could ever meet, very well mannered. A good boy, Catholic school since kindergarten.

The reason I give his description is so that you can kinda see why this kid has to beat the bitches off with a stick. He's got that exotic look...I mean EVERYWHERE he goes he is hounded by girls. He takes the trash out to the curb and broads are stopping their cars to talk. Yeah...Im proud of him...but he is wasting his talents.

Now I was a bit of a dog back in the day (a whore if you ask my wife who's known me since the 9th grade) so I was looking forward to living vicariously through my pimp of a son, only he doesnt take after his father in that regard. No, he seems to care about girls feelings and falls in love pretty quickly. He is faithful and refuses to be a mack, even though the opportunity has always presented itself. Frustrating to me but again, Im proud of him. The pimp in me is mad, but the father in me is happy that my wife and I seem to have done a good job. Now...here's the problem.

He is head over heels in love with this rude, stuck up, blond haired, blue eyed trick. I dont mean to sound racist but you know what I mean...this broad really thinks her shit dont stink. She went to a Dodger game with our family in high heels and complained about the walk thru the parking lot until my son gave her a piggy back ride (I damn near knocked his ass out right there, but my wife snatched me real quick). She came to my sister in law's wedding this year and tried to start a fight at the reception with a family friend who's had a crush on my son since they were both 5 or 6 years old..."She was flirting with him!" is what she actually SCREAMED at me and my wife when we took her outside, then rolled her eyes at us as we tried to explain the situation to her. At a family barbeque a back in August she called my sister in law a "fucking Chola" under her breath, which my sister in law of course heard. Drunk Ass Sis commenced to telling my son to "check yo white trash uppity bitch!" (which makes no sense but hey, Ingrid was drunk) and another family outing was spoiled because of this little girl's attitude.

We have all tried to be nice to her, but I just about had it. I told my son not to bring her stank ass around anymore and we got in a huge argument. Later we had what I thought was a good talk, with him admitting she's a bitch and me understanding that he's in love with her. He didnt bring her around for awhile. Now..

Homecoming was in October. They go to separate schools, so two Homecomg dances. Money is tight right now in our house but we were able to make sure he could go to both dances. Hers was first and I drove them both to the dance, my wife and I picked them up and we even went to Denny's for ice cream on the way home. From everything I heard, they had a great time. His dance was the next week and he and his friends pooled their money and got a limo...the bitch gave him attitude the entire night because he didnt take her to her dance in a limo. My man came home DEPRESSED. Not pissed, depressed. He told me all about it, how she sat in the corner pouting with her arms crossed the entire night and I couldnt hold back. "You have got to cut this trick loose!" I told him. I laid everything on him..."You're to young to be this caught up over one girl", but nope...that's his girl. "We have fun together" he says. And that "I love her" crap, too. It is so frustrating! He could have practically any girl he wants, but she's the one.

On Halloween night she informed him that she has another boyfriend and has had this boyfriend for about six months. He finally broke up with her and spent all his time in his room, wouldnt talk to anyone, real heartbroken. She texts him CONSTANTLY, which he ignored for a while, but sure enough he's already taken her back. She says she broke up with the other cat but I dont give a damn...she should have been cut off months ago.

Im rambling about this crap because we just got home from my son's football game. Seeing her ass in the crowd, walking around like she's the shit, wearing my son's jersey...I wanted to throw my shoe at her. I picked my son up from school after the game and just started in on him (I know, I know, but I couldnt help it). We get home and I jump on the computer...he comes in and has the gall to ask me if he can bring her over for Thanksgiving dinner.

"Hell fuckin no she aint eatin at my table on Thanksgiving!" was my response, leading to another argument.

Why do I feel bad?

Arggh...

It's understandable feeling bad because you want to do right by your son and all to make him happy, but at the same time, he can't really expect you to openly welcome someone in your house who's been blatantly disrespectful to you and your family, your son included. He's probably too young and emotionally caught up to view it that way, but I don't feel you are wrong at all. (Perhaps the inner pimp stuff is wrong, but it looks like the father stuff trumped that anyway.)

Your son sounds like a good kid. Many in his shoes would be banging girls left and right and telling everyone in the locker room about it.

He sounds like a good kid. As his dad, the best thing to do is just support and look out for him

BUT, although this may sound sexist, I would keep my eye on ole girl.....she sounds suspicious

Its tough for me because we've kind of sheltered him. He didnt come up the way I did, in a neighborhood where you had to show and prove who you were on a constant basis.

I just never thought he would be such a good, patient and forgiving guy. Of course its what I wanted, but a little bit of ghetto in your make up goes a long way in situations like these.

oh boy, my son will be 16 in less than 6 years

http://sphotos.ak.fbcdn.n...4850_n.jpg

the one on the right, all the girls love him already

ZombieKitten said:

oh boy, my son will be 16 in less than 6 years

http://sphotos.ak.fbcdn.n...4850_n.jpg

the one on the right, all the girls love him already

My daughter will be 16 in about the same...a little longer.

She'll know better than to act like this girl in question.

ZombieKitten said:

oh boy, my son will be 16 in less than 6 years

http://sphotos.ak.fbcdn.n...4850_n.jpg

the one on the right, all the girls love him already

Lock him up.

FauxReal said:

ZombieKitten said:

oh boy, my son will be 16 in less than 6 years

http://sphotos.ak.fbcdn.n...4850_n.jpg

the one on the right, all the girls love him already

My daughter will be 16 in about the same...a little longer.

She'll know better than to act like this girl in question.

My wife has a 17 year old sister that I have semi-raised since she was born (their dad died when my mother in law was 6 months pregnant)

If I start talking about her, we'll be here all night.

Mami is damn near 60 and "K" is a hand full!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Edited 11/13/10 1:01am]

I have a 19 year old that is in love with his Asian girl. I keep him at bay because of a few points.

I tell him NOT to use the "love " term because it implies ownership and too much accountability.

Too much is expected if he is her man and vice versa, that young people need to date (this means meet not fuck) lots of other people in order to choose wisely.

Points I drill with my son:

The MAN chooses (ultimately) who he wants to marry, so he must choose wisely. I don't care how fine she may be... if you don't want to get stuck with a bitch, abuser, stinky crotch, messy woman, or an under acheiver then you as a MAN must shop around.

DATE DATE and date some more... because the more girls you get to know as friends first, then the more you are able to decide wisely , which type of women you should be looking for.

A good woman is extremely difficult to find, and she must be chosen wisely with great care.

And no dating until you have a fucking job... no job, no pussy!

I tell him all of my dating horror stories, we laugh a lot about them. I tell him of my times with his father, and the mistakes he made with me, and my mistakes I made with his father.

I also and most inportantly give him a clear direction to aim for the DISTANT future.....

"where you gonna be when your 50?"

"AIM for that!"

Education, travel, work, and with all that on his mind, girls become a smaller part of his universe. Pussy is no longer the main objective, it is the last on the long list of priorities... it is his first goal to build himself into the man he needs to be to then meet a woman he wants to spend his hard earned money and precious time one, because SHE (the one he chose wisely) will be worth it.

The rest just falls into place....

your son needs to talk to you in depth to navigate the hardest part about being a man... he needs to find himself to love himself so he can learn to love in a healthy way and that way choose wisely.

My son is 19, a sophmore at college... on a full scholarship, on the Dean's list a marine biology major.

BTW... my son grew up with a single mom who struggled all his life and is broke. His dad never spent any time with him and he was a product of public school, raised in the roughest neighborhoods in Boston.... we were even homeless for a while with zero support from both my and his father's family.

So, yeah.... my son is fucking amazing, because he is MY son, I raised him to be that way.

Your son needs to know the same. He'll find his way.

my baby at the prom.... he's carmera shy and its one of the only pics with him not making some weird face....

[img:$uid]http://i216.photobucket.com/albums/cc99/gataloca_bucket/n600096441_2420403_392759-1.jpg[/img:$uid]

[Edited 11/13/10 1:22am]

^^^

Nice!

Im not worried about him as a "man" though. He does great in school, plays football, baseball and rugby, is on the yearbook and school newspaper staffs...very well rounded.

I just cant understand why he's such a simp when it comes to this girl.

He's had other girls that he liked and "dated". He's always faithful, though he had opportunities to not be.

Never has he been so wrapped up!!!!

He actually gave me attitude!

"So I guess I cant bring "S" to Thanksgiving dinner?"

[Edited 11/13/10 1:25am]

StonedImmaculate said:

^^^

Nice!

Im not worried about him as a "man" though. He does great in school, plays football, baseball and rugby, is on the yearbook and school newspaper staffs...very well rounded.

I just cant understand why he's such a simp when it comes to this girl.

He's had other girls that he liked and "dated". He's always faithful, though he had opportunities to not be.

Never has he been so wrapped up!!!!

He actually gave me attitude!

"So I guess I cant bring "S" to Thanksgiving dinner?"

[Edited 11/13/10 1:25am]

Good for you! See, me... I have a high standard for my son because I'm a bitch that way. My son knows it. He understands me because I take the time to explain. We don't even yell... I just say, You know Imma say some shit to her right? She better come correct... be ready for the worst...

Men are different though...

they communicate differently.

Your son has a wonderful heart, and sounds kind. Seems to have a bright future... he can only mess up from here if he meets the wrong girl.

So it seems like your son doesn't know how to pick em'??? Is that your concern? Or is it the depth in which he gets involved? .... maybe he shouldn't be allowed to do any picking until he's working a part time job?

A special thing happens when a young man has to come up with his own money to take a girl out... he puts up with less mess from a girl because of it.

I think that's all your son may really need, that and talking to his mom to better understand women/girls.

bboy87 said:

He sounds like a good kid. As his dad, the best thing to do is just support and look out for him

BUT, although this may sound sexist, I would keep my eye on ole girl.....she sounds suspicious

SOUNDS suspcious???

Bboy, that kid is a hot mess, period!

Ottensen said:

bboy87 said:

He sounds like a good kid. As his dad, the best thing to do is just support and look out for him

BUT, although this may sound sexist, I would keep my eye on ole girl.....she sounds suspicious

SOUNDS suspcious???

Bboy, that kid is a hot mess, period!

Lil' bitch wouldda neva been brought to my home... you see that sweet lil' Asian girl in the pic with my son? Yeah.... he knows he better bring home a polite delicate flower of a lady.... or else..

[img:$uid]http://i216.photobucket.com/albums/cc99/gataloca_bucket/club.gif[/img:$uid]

ZombieKitten said:

oh boy, my son will be 16 in less than 6 years

http://sphotos.ak.fbcdn.n...4850_n.jpg

the one on the right, all the girls love him already

They all have your eyes!

paintedlady said:

ZombieKitten said:

oh boy, my son will be 16 in less than 6 years

http://sphotos.ak.fbcdn.n...4850_n.jpg

the one on the right, all the girls love him already

They all have your eyes!

Wally sort of got his dad's bigger eyes. They all got blue eyes! I thought brown eyes was the dominant gene

paintedlady said:

I think that's all your son may really need, that and talking to his mom to better understand women/girls.

Nah...that aint it.

His mom is one of those "you have to let him make his own decisions" and "if he likes her we cant interfere" type women. She talks to him, giving him the "she's not girlfriend material" speech, but its his choice to her.

I'm like "Fool please...you better tell that bitch to go somewhere!"

ZombieKitten said:

paintedlady said:

They all have your eyes!

Wally sort of got his dad's bigger eyes. They all got blue eyes! I thought brown eyes was the dominant gene

They have your eye shape!... I love your eyes!

Oh, and yeah, Wally does have dad's wider eyes... and brown is dominant if equal parts of genes are present... but if 3 0f 4 grandparents had blue... then blue is the dominant color.

StonedImmaculate said:

paintedlady said:

I think that's all your son may really need, that and talking to his mom to better understand women/girls.

Nah...that aint it.

His mom is one of those "you have to let him make his own decisions" and "if he likes her we cant interfere" type women. She talks to him, giving him the "she's not girlfriend material" speech, but its his choice to her.

I'm like "Fool please...you better tell that bitch to go somewhere!"

Awww hells naw... mom didn't pull out the "Bear baton" on that skeeze? I think you're right... mom needs to lay in a bit on ol' girl.

But seriously...

Momma knows her son is intelligent and has all the faith in her son to do the right thing... she's a better woman than me.

paintedlady said:

ZombieKitten said:

Wally sort of got his dad's bigger eyes. They all got blue eyes! I thought brown eyes was the dominant gene

They have your eye shape!... I love your eyes!

Oh, and yeah, Wally does have dad's wider eyes... and brown is dominant if equal parts of genes are present... but if 3 0f 4 grandparents had blue... then blue is the dominant color.

only 2 of 4 did

I would say that as a rule, first, it's not exactly a healthy thing to encourage a young man to be a pimp, vs. explore his options with young relationships in a fun, yet caring way with girls his age.

Second, everything Painted has said is dead on. Remembering how I was as a 16 year old girl, I think it's important for he parents to set the tone, and the boundaries for exactly what is considered acceptable behavior in how your child and your family is treated.

Remember, exactly who are the adults here? In my view, it should be well understood from the time the young woman walks in the door whose house she is in, who pays the bills that allow them to enjoy the lives they have, and just exactly what is expected for her to become part of the family. I imagine that would include good manners, showing kindness and respect for others and especially for her elders.

The issue of concern here is that this young girl is obviously not mature, evolved, or bringing anything to the table that would be a blessing to your son other than being cute arm candy at school and pumping the male part of his ego. She is clearly malicious, manipulaive, has no sense of healthy relationship boundaries, and uses all of these things to fill some kind of void within regarding self-image and insecurity that should have been handled during her childreering (again, look at painted's son if you want a good example!).

Now might be the time to introduce your son to some adult life/love principles. Primarily the idea that

1. You did not raise him to be a broken person. By yourselves or by anyone else.

2. Maybe it's time to make a list of pros and cons about being this girl's boyfriend; make a two column list and weigh them out against each other. But be honest about all the things she's done that have hurt him . I can't imagine "we have fun" will weigh out over "she cheated on me, starts fights, complains nonstop and insults my family and makes me feel bad".

3. Be sure to press into him that the discomfort he's experiencing now is temporary and that once he moves past the hurdle of his feelings for this girl, the sky is the limit! He will eventually move onto other classes, even college, where there will be a whole smorgasbord of girls who will be just as pretty, even smarter, with cool interests and will treat him like the cool guy that he is...but first he needs to drop the dead weight so he can sail on.

4. If she refuses to be out of the picture and he just insists on having her in his life,it might be time for a family style conference to confront her directly about her destructive behavior, you can approach this several ways: maybe your wife can arrange a nice girlie day where she has nice talk with Miss-Know-It-All, or, all four of you can have a sit-down where you lay out the ground rules for what you expectations are in terms of healthy behavior. Maybe the latter is better in this case so the three of you can be united as a family unit, and it will be very clear that a healthy family relationship is most important here.. and if she wants to take part in the family, she should act accordingly. Otherwise, she will not be welcome in the home. Understand that her antics are about control, and as parents, you need to be very very clear about what you will and will not tolerate in people who are involved with your lives and with your son.

That's all I got for now. Hope it makes sense or is at least helpful.

ZombieKitten said:

paintedlady said:

They have your eye shape!... I love your eyes!

Oh, and yeah, Wally does have dad's wider eyes... and brown is dominant if equal parts of genes are present... but if 3 0f 4 grandparents had blue... then blue is the dominant color.

only 2 of 4 did

wow!

Ottensen said:

bboy87 said:

He sounds like a good kid. As his dad, the best thing to do is just support and look out for him

BUT, although this may sound sexist, I would keep my eye on ole girl.....she sounds suspicious

SOUNDS suspcious???

Bboy, that kid is a hot mess, period!

I was holding my tongue because I didn't want anyone thinking I was sexist

What I was originally gonna say is keep a eye on her because she sounds like the kind of girl that would....ya know......"trap" a guy or make up some vicious lies about him

You don't want a "Maury" situation

paintedlady said:

ZombieKitten said:

only 2 of 4 did

wow!

both grandma's have brown eyes - so it's not like you could say one of them was cheating

Ottensen said:

I would say that as a rule, first, it's not exactly a healthy thing to encourage a young man to be a pimp, vs. explore his options with young relationships in a fun, yet caring way with girls his age.

Second, everything Painted has said is dead on. Remembering how I was as a 16 year old girl, I think it's important for he parents to set the tone, and the boundaries for exactly what is considered acceptable behavior in how your child and your family is treated.

Remember, exactly who are the adults here? In my view, it should be well understood from the time the young woman walks in the door whose house she is in, who pays the bills that allow them to enjoy the lives they have, and just exactly what is expected for her to become part of the family. I imagine that would include good manners, showing kindness and respect for others and especially for her elders.

The issue of concern here is that this young girl is obviously not mature, evolved, or bringing anything to the table that would be a blessing to your son other than being cute arm candy at school and pumping the male part of his ego. She is clearly malicious, manipulaive, has no sense of healthy relationship boundaries, and uses all of these things to fill some kind of void within regarding self-image and insecurity that should have been handled during her childreering (again, look at painted's son if you want a good example!).

Now might be the time to introduce your son to some adult life/love principles. Primarily the idea that

1. You did not raise him to be a broken person. By yourselves or by anyone else.

2. Maybe it's time to make a list of pros and cons about being this girl's boyfriend; make a two column list and weigh them out against each other. But be honest about all the things she's done that have hurt him . I can't imagine "we have fun" will weigh out over "she cheated on me, starts fights, complains nonstop and insults my family and makes me feel bad".

3. Be sure to press into him that the discomfort he's experiencing now is temporary and that once he moves past the hurdle of his feelings for this girl, the sky is the limit! He will eventually move onto other classes, even college, where there will be a whole smorgasbord of girls who will be just as pretty, even smarter, with cool interests and will treat him like the cool guy that he is...but first he needs to drop the dead weight so he can sail on.

4. If she refuses to be out of the picture and he just insists on having her in his life,it might be time for a family style conference to confront her directly about her destructive behavior, you can approach this several ways: maybe your wife can arrange a nice girlie day where she has nice talk with Miss-Know-It-All, or, all four of you can have a sit-down where you lay out the ground rules for what you expectations are in terms of healthy behavior. Maybe the latter is better in this case so the three of you can be united as a family unit, and it will be very clear that a healthy family relationship is most important here.. and if she wants to take part in the family, she should act accordingly. Otherwise, she will not be welcome in the home. Understand that her antics are about control, and as parents, you need to be very very clear about what you will and will not tolerate in people who are involved with your lives and with your son.

That's all I got for now. Hope it makes sense or is at least helpful.

I feel you and appreciate the intelligent feedback, but...

1. I have never encouraged my son to be a pimp...I just wished. Fun conversations with my wife and friends, etc. Though I had a blast, never would I guide my son down that path (same goes for the smokin, trippin and drinkin). We've had our fun conversations about "pimpin", but he knows I expect him to be a gentleman and he has no problem with it. But I also want him to tell this girl about herself and he somewhat does when they get into it, he just always seems to get over it. That's the problem.

2. You hit the nail on the head about how this girl is, but I have no control over how this little girl was raised and if her parents are happy with how she is, more power to them. I'm not going to try to correct her, she's just not right for my son in my opinion and she for sure aint right for our family.

We have had the intelligent talk with him (and her to a certain extent), but he aint tryin to hear it (strangely, her attitude with us has gotten better, but she still causes drama with him). He is way wrapped up but under our control...they dont see each other very often and when they do they dont have the opportunity to do anything foolish. I'm just tired of seeing him simp out.

Problem is that I firmly believe that straight up telling my son that he cant see this broad anymore is not the move to make. That will only make him want her more. Believe me, he knows she is no longer welcome around the family until she learns how to act and Im hoping that will be enough to make him see the light.

I'm confident in him, just frustrated that its taking so long

Hope I dont sound too defensive...Im just feeling like a bad parent reading some of these comments and I know Im not.

bboy87 said:

Ottensen said:

SOUNDS suspcious???

Bboy, that kid is a hot mess, period!

I was holding my tongue because I didn't want anyone thinking I was sexist

What I was originally gonna say is keep a eye on her because she sounds like the kind of girl that would....ya know......"trap" a guy or make up some vicious lies about him

You don't want a "Maury" situation

Definitely a fear of mine and my wife.

But again, we know where he is at all times...that shit aint happenin!!!!!

StonedImmaculate said:

Ottensen said:

I would say that as a rule, first, it's not exactly a healthy thing to encourage a young man to be a pimp, vs. explore his options with young relationships in a fun, yet caring way with girls his age.

Second, everything Painted has said is dead on. Remembering how I was as a 16 year old girl, I think it's important for he parents to set the tone, and the boundaries for exactly what is considered acceptable behavior in how your child and your family is treated.

Remember, exactly who are the adults here? In my view, it should be well understood from the time the young woman walks in the door whose house she is in, who pays the bills that allow them to enjoy the lives they have, and just exactly what is expected for her to become part of the family. I imagine that would include good manners, showing kindness and respect for others and especially for her elders.

The issue of concern here is that this young girl is obviously not mature, evolved, or bringing anything to the table that would be a blessing to your son other than being cute arm candy at school and pumping the male part of his ego. She is clearly malicious, manipulaive, has no sense of healthy relationship boundaries, and uses all of these things to fill some kind of void within regarding self-image and insecurity that should have been handled during her childreering (again, look at painted's son if you want a good example!).

Now might be the time to introduce your son to some adult life/love principles. Primarily the idea that

1. You did not raise him to be a broken person. By yourselves or by anyone else.

2. Maybe it's time to make a list of pros and cons about being this girl's boyfriend; make a two column list and weigh them out against each other. But be honest about all the things she's done that have hurt him . I can't imagine "we have fun" will weigh out over "she cheated on me, starts fights, complains nonstop and insults my family and makes me feel bad".

3. Be sure to press into him that the discomfort he's experiencing now is temporary and that once he moves past the hurdle of his feelings for this girl, the sky is the limit! He will eventually move onto other classes, even college, where there will be a whole smorgasbord of girls who will be just as pretty, even smarter, with cool interests and will treat him like the cool guy that he is...but first he needs to drop the dead weight so he can sail on.

4. If she refuses to be out of the picture and he just insists on having her in his life,it might be time for a family style conference to confront her directly about her destructive behavior, you can approach this several ways: maybe your wife can arrange a nice girlie day where she has nice talk with Miss-Know-It-All, or, all four of you can have a sit-down where you lay out the ground rules for what you expectations are in terms of healthy behavior. Maybe the latter is better in this case so the three of you can be united as a family unit, and it will be very clear that a healthy family relationship is most important here.. and if she wants to take part in the family, she should act accordingly. Otherwise, she will not be welcome in the home. Understand that her antics are about control, and as parents, you need to be very very clear about what you will and will not tolerate in people who are involved with your lives and with your son.

That's all I got for now. Hope it makes sense or is at least helpful.

I feel you and appreciate the intelligent feedback, but...

1. I have never encouraged my son to be a pimp...I just wished. Fun conversations with my wife and friends, etc. Though I had a blast, never would I guide my son down that path (same goes for the smokin, trippin and drinkin). We've had our fun conversations about "pimpin", but he knows I expect him to be a gentleman and he has no problem with it. But I also want him to tell this girl about herself and he somewhat does when they get into it, he just always seems to get over it. That's the problem.

2. You hit the nail on the head about how this girl is, but I have no control over how this little girl was raised and if her parents are happy with how she is, more power to them. I'm not going to try to correct her, she's just not right for my son in my opinion and she for sure aint right for our family.

We have had the intelligent talk with him (and her to a certain extent), but he aint tryin to hear it (strangely, her attitude with us has gotten better, but she still causes drama with him). He is way wrapped up but under our control...they dont see each other very often and when they do they dont have the opportunity to do anything foolish. I'm just tired of seeing him simp out.

Problem is that I firmly believe that straight up telling my son that he cant see this broad anymore is not the move to make. That will only make him want her more. Believe me, he knows she is no longer welcome around the family until she learns how to act and Im hoping that will be enough to make him see the light.

I'm confident in him, just frustrated that its taking so long

Hope I dont sound too defensive...Im just feeling like a bad parent reading some of these comments and I know Im not.

I wasn't judging you, so you do not have to go into defense mode, we are only trying to help.

Heck... I understand! I hate when people pre-judge me... as a single Hispanic mom living in my situation, my kids are supposed to be drug dealers terrorizing their community. Didn't you know???

I hate assumptions and accusations, I hate when people are shocked that I am raising a child like mine in MY situation successfully, because my son is supposed to fail. It is not magic, it is hard frekking work every frekking day... but you already know, since you obviously love your son and are proud of him. Its a battle everyday... like shoveling shit against the tide. You already know what you should do and which direction you need to point him in....

he'll be fine, he has a loving father... I wish my son had that!

The more you object to this girl, the more he's going to resist, so I'd lay off on the objections. He knows how you feel by now.

About the only thing you can do at this point is impress upon him the important of not getting her pregnant. Because that would be a disaster.

i dunno. women like that give us all a bad name.

sadly, most men are not hard to manipulate, due to their physical characteristics and the mistakenly chivalrous notion some guys hold that women are shy, delicate flowers who need protecting.

that being said, telling your son these facts of life likely won't help. he's going to have to learn to be a better judge of character by himself.

but as his parent, you have every right to put your foot down on the thanksgiving dinner thing. just tell him it's for select family and friends this year, which is true. leave out the part where you add under your breath (and not for manipulative bitches).

paintedlady said:

I have a 19 year old that is in love with his Asian girl. I keep him at bay because of a few points.

I tell him NOT to use the "love " term because it implies ownership and too much accountability.

Too much is expected if he is her man and vice versa, that young people need to date (this means meet not fuck) lots of other people in order to choose wisely.

Points I drill with my son:

The MAN chooses (ultimately) who he wants to marry, so he must choose wisely. I don't care how fine she may be... if you don't want to get stuck with a bitch, abuser, stinky crotch, messy woman, or an under acheiver then you as a MAN must shop around.

DATE DATE and date some more... because the more girls you get to know as friends first, then the more you are able to decide wisely , which type of women you should be looking for.

A good woman is extremely difficult to find, and she must be chosen wisely with great care.

And no dating until you have a fucking job... no job, no pussy!

I tell him all of my dating horror stories, we laugh a lot about them. I tell him of my times with his father, and the mistakes he made with me, and my mistakes I made with his father.

I also and most inportantly give him a clear direction to aim for the DISTANT future.....

"where you gonna be when your 50?"

"AIM for that!"

Education, travel, work, and with all that on his mind, girls become a smaller part of his universe. Pussy is no longer the main objective, it is the last on the long list of priorities... it is his first goal to build himself into the man he needs to be to then meet a woman he wants to spend his hard earned money and precious time one, because SHE (the one he chose wisely) will be worth it.

The rest just falls into place....

your son needs to talk to you in depth to navigate the hardest part about being a man... he needs to find himself to love himself so he can learn to love in a healthy way and that way choose wisely.

My son is 19, a sophmore at college... on a full scholarship, on the Dean's list a marine biology major.

BTW... my son grew up with a single mom who struggled all his life and is broke. His dad never spent any time with him and he was a product of public school, raised in the roughest neighborhoods in Boston.... we were even homeless for a while with zero support from both my and his father's family.

So, yeah.... my son is fucking amazing, because he is MY son, I raised him to be that way.

Your son needs to know the same. He'll find his way.

my baby at the prom.... he's carmera shy and its one of the only pics with him not making some weird face....

[img:$uid]http://i216.photobucket.com/albums/cc99/gataloca_bucket/n600096441_2420403_392759-1.jpg[/img:$uid]

[Edited 11/13/10 1:22am]

he's a good one chile! ..tell him come see auntie after the holidays....... ...

Not to make light of the situation at hand tho, call that MTV show where the parents find other dates for the boy and he gets to choose whether or not he wants to dump her.....

Someone said earlier he should date around and that is very true. There is nothing wrong with going to the friendship buffet with a wittingfull hunger ( if witingful is a word..) THey need s to know how girls/guys are gonna be around their friends, alone, aroudn family....etc. Parents have that "I can see straight through you radar so if the kids trust you, they'll be able to value your input.