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4 all people who have concidered suicide when life just isnt enuff wit the recent release of tyler perry new movie the topic of suicide is relevent lets all decuss our horror/life stories that has lead us 2 concider suicide i am 36 black gay and i live alone i have no kids yet i want a female i go through life daily suffering in silience the agony of not wantin 2 be alone yet hiding behind a false smile.i can be in a room full of people and feel so alone its a feeling i have had since i was a child i always felt so alone . there was alot of verbal abuse in my house as a child and 2 this day i fear being close 2 others due 2 the haunting words of my mother telling me i make her sick that i aint shit and will never mean anything 2 her she has pulled a gun on me be4 all b/c she bought a suite 4 me that was way 2 big and i am very short so many stories i can tell but lets hear ur stories lets form a positive circle of love | |
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that sucks. that should never have happened to you. i'm sorry it did. life does hurt sometimes but then it can turn around on a person and become fun again. keep the faith
I am so sorry. | |
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Man, ain't nothing worse than feeling alone, even when you're surrounded with people. And that's the story of my life right there.
I've thought several times of taking my own life at times when my life seemed to get no worse. And in a variety of ways too. But as you can see, I never did. And because I stayed alive, I managed to get through the pain and see the brighter side to life. There's always a brighter side, you just have to look for it. Don't let anyone ever tell you you're not worth anything. We all have worth...
If you ever need someone to talk to, for any reason, or about anything, orgNote me. I'm willing to help whenever I can.
Smile though your heart is aching...you'll find that life is still worth while...if you just smile...
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If prince.org were to be made idiot proof, someone would just invent a better idiot. | |
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Hang in there.just to let you know you are one of a kind and there will never be another you ....
there maybe some LIKE you but it will NEVER! be another you ...think about it
theres someone always watching
[Edited 11/7/10 19:40pm] | |
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I'm not suicidal but I have a lot of anxiety and deal with bipolar depression and have wanted to pull disappearing acts many times to run away from worries. Last year for a short time, I would go to bed not caring if I was dead the next day though I really didn't want to die. My life is very good, I'm just in a rut about what I want to do with it and I feel inadequate all the time cause of unresolved issues and being a paranoid and insecure recluse trying hard to push herself back into the real world. [Edited 11/9/10 21:13pm] | |
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Your story seems quite different from mine, but we have a few important things in common. I'm open to chat in private.
Be well. Ὅσον ζῇς φαίνου
μηδὲν ὅλως σὺ λυποῦ πρὸς ὀλίγον ἐστὶ τὸ ζῆν τὸ τέλος ὁ χρόνος ἀπαιτεῖ.” | |
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The past 10 years have been so rocky for me though good things came out of it too and 2009 was the year from hell with dealing with an abusive coworker and then mj dying as soon as I took an intervention for getting help for my depression which put me on edge even more when I already was. I still have my bad days but it's getting better though I think my body can't deal with good things now that they are finally beginning to happen [Edited 11/9/10 21:17pm] | |
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thank u all 4 your kind words but life is a daily struggle and with suicide its like being a drug addict u always know it can be the answer when things dont go your way its a outlet.its always been the people i care 4 and do so much 4 that hurt me and could careless. that kind of pain u dont wanna continute 2 live it daily i been struggling since i was 15 and i am so tired. i am at peace with being gay i am a virgin i dont wana have sex i want love its so hard 2 find love and 2 be love truthfully some people say i believe in fairytales but i think reality should be where people love and care 4 u. i dont know how long it will be be4 i decide its just time | |
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Please, please contact a counselor - there are free services - and open up to them. If you aren't comfortable with the first person you talk to, move on to another. You are valuable. You deserve a good life.
If prince.org were to be made idiot proof, someone would just invent a better idiot. | |
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Yes, and if you need help finding one in your area, orgnote me. Studies have shown the ass crack of the average Prince fan to be abnormally large. This explains the ease and frequency of their panties bunching up in it. |
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I agree with this, you are worth it. It can really hurt when people you care for don't return the same type of grattitude and appreciation and love, but you have to learn to love yourself before anyone else loves you, and I don't mean in a selfish way. | |
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All I'll say is that my 20s were turbulant but it was a learning experience and I'm so glad I'm alive today. | |
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Hon, it's horrible to have your own Mother say those words about you.
I know it's hard but the first thing you should know is that you are unique and you are capable of being love in return. Please don't give up on that.
Find someone to talk to. Find something that you love. It really gives life a whole different meaning afterwards.
I also think you should seek some counselling. It's always good to talk to people. Don't suffer alone. Please try to seek help.
~Time Spent Learning is a Time Never Wasted~
~They say the skies the limit And to me that's really true But my friend you have seen nothing Just wait till I get through~ | |
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Please hang in there don't give up on yourself. I tried to take my life when I was in my early 20's. Thank goodness I was found and brought to the hospital in time. After some time and professional help I went on to have a wonderful family that includes 6 beautiful children. Had I succeeded in taking my life I would have missed out on true love six times over.
I know you're hurting, the pain I felt was overwhelming and constant. I couldn't get away from it or so I thought. Here's the thing, you have to have the will, or aggorance, or selfishness, or anger--you pick the emotion to tap into to simply survive the minute. Just want to live for 1 minute, then the next and so on.
It can get better and will get better but you have to get yourself out of this bad place, that starts with professional help. Seems impossible but it's NOT, you feel alone you're NOT org note those who have offered myself included. You have now new friends who care about you, want to see you succeed and are here if you need to talk. Take us up on it!!
Best wishes and a BIG HUUUUUUGG!!!
Stephanie [Edited 11/13/10 18:12pm] | |
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I just found out that my boyfriend's acquaintance committed suicide :*( and I'm feeling so sad about it. It scares me too cause of my depression issues though not intense like that right now.
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And something inside of you wants you to live...that is why you are opening up here. Take this small step and make another, and then another, until you can walk out of this dark place. Once you begin to reach out, help will come because you are loved even when it doesn't seem so, trust me.
We are all here...be sure to get help and let us know how it's going. Deal? Prince, in you I found a kindred spirit...Rest In Paradise. | |
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The world needs more people like you. Hang in there. You are deserving. | |
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I can relate to your posting. The past 4 years have been really tough on me. I've sufferred a couple of major losses and have been going thru some serious struggles. Many times I've thought about ending it all. I would advise you to first see a Psychiatrist for some medication. You could also benefit from some counceling with a Psychologist.
Try to have at least one positive person in your life who you can talk to and trust. I'm lucky enough to have a very close friend who I can confide in and lean on. This dude is like the shinning star in my life. Whenever I'm down, he tells me things that I need to hear and it has made all the difference in the world. The worst thing you can do is to choose to go thru what you're going thru alone. "It's not nice to fuck with K.B.! All you haters will see!" - Kitbradley
"The only true wisdom is knowing you know nothing." - Socrates | |
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thanx all yall so much 4 the kind words u giving me yes i wanna live u wanna reach out but this world knocks u down so much u feel like a drug addict addicted 2 the thought of killing yourself.maybe im a fool cuz i love hard and intense i believe in being good and trying 2 help pthers i have sacrificed so much i dont want nothing materail in return just 4 people 2 do better and love. | |
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I agree that feeling depressed if not suicidal is like a drug for sure. I sometimes feel like I'm addicted to being depressed though I want to feel peaceful cause the minute things are quiet, I find myself looking for something to be sad about again or looking for something else or someone else to cry over. [Edited 11/17/10 23:54pm] | |
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A friend of mine committed suicide last night. He was having money problems, but that's all I know right now. Here is how his suicide has affected various people in the first 18 hours:
1. His wife is now husband-less. I don't know if he had any life insurance, and I don't know if his wife works or not, but I'm pretty sure she couldn't take over his high-end woodworking business. Unless there's life insurance, she's screwed financially
2. His four kids are now fatherless. They range from 12 to 20. Two girls, two boys. They are sad right now, but soon they'll get angry at him for doing this. Then they'll start blaming themselves for it, figuring they did something that pushed him over the edge. They will never be able to trust anyone again for the rest of their lives
3. His friends are in shock. I'm just a low-level friend, not one of his close ones. We went to high school together for two years. I don't even remember him at all from high school but even though he hadn't seen me in 25 years, he recognized me immediately when a mutual friend re-introduced us five years ago. I'm mad and sad right now. But his really good friends are crying their eyes out and have been since last night.
4. My daughter is friends with two of the kids, and was very, very fond of the man that killed himself. She's barely functional right now. I'm sure there are lots of other kids that loved the man, and are crying their eyes out as we speak
I really don't know what to say to those that are considering suicide, or get those feelings every so often. Except that we ALL get that feeling at one point or another, I guess. Some more so than others, but I bet everyone thinks of suicide at least once in their life, even if it's only in passing and not a serious thought.
But I do know now how suicide affects those that are left behind. It's ugly and is only going to get uglier, and I'm not even one of the close and most affected friends.
No matter who you are, someone loves you. I love you. Read this and please understand that leaving this world through your own hand will not make anyone's life better. It will only cause harm that will last forever. | |
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I'm so sorry for everybody involved, and I'm so sorry to hear about the agony of your daughter. My hart goes out to her, because of the loss and having to deal with that on a such a young age is hard. You are a manly man, so I totally trust that with your strenght and love and support you can provide her with everything she needs from her father. I wish you and your daughter love and the strength to overcome. 99% of my posts are ironic. Maybe this post sides with the other 1%. | |
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It's terrible that your mom was so mean to you. a mother and son's love should be warm, and tender and like no other. It was by NO FAULT of yours that this was not the case. Perhaps your mom has mental illness? Perhaps if you look at her behavoirs in this light it could help you? I don't know... Please don't kill yourself, reaching out here was a great first step. Keep taking these steps, things will get better.
"not a fan"  yeah...ok | |
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Here's some big love for you:
Depressions are recurrent and very tiring when you'r in the middle of it (and you know about that!).
When you'r in the middle of it you'r mind is clouded with your depression, therefore what you are thinking and feeling is distorted by the depression and does not reflect who YOU are. It is your depression that is responsible for the way you feel and think now.
You are depressed, so by definition you think it will never ever get better. By definition you only are only capable of thinking negative thoughts and painfull feelings at the moment. Don't allow yourself to let the depression win. You are such a great and warm person (I read your comments in some threads) and have so much love. When the depression is gone (and yes that can take a while, however it will not stay as dark as currently) you will be so happy that you saved yourself and you did not let the depression win and take you over!
The book "Feeling good" by David Burns is a true and good book. Please, read it. And search for a psychologist/ psychiatrist who is specialized in depression. The best one in the field worldwide is:
I wish you so much love and strength. I know these are very hard times and going trough depressions is so painfull. However, please, I beg you, don't let depression win it from YOU [Edited 11/30/10 11:28am] 99% of my posts are ironic. Maybe this post sides with the other 1%. | |
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