For about three months or so I've been doing a job that is a bit different. i've been working as a kind of body model. It's not as glamorous as it sounds - it's not catwalk or magazines or anything classy like that i'm afraid. It's just body, not face - i'm no johnny depp, believe me. Basically, i pose for art classes, discussion groups, underwear catalogues, things like that. But it's just underwear and nude stuff - so not everybody's cup of tea. It's not particularly challenging, but people are nice and money is great.

My girlfriend at the time of being offered the job, thought it was interesting and kinda cool, but as it's gone on, she became more and more possessive and jealous about it. To the point that last week, she said it was me or the job.

How would you react if your partner started doing what I was doing?

How would I react? I'd be glad he was making money.

Genesia said:

How would I react? I'd be glad he was making money.

lol. oh, that all women were this nonchalant...

Sounds like a good job for the time being. I'm guessing it's not your overall ambition in life but it pays the bills for now and you don't hate it. Sometimes that's as good as it gets.

If my bf were doing such work it would make me giggle a bit (as I just can't picture him enjoying that), but it certainly wouldn't bother me.

CarrieMpls said:

Sounds like a good job for the time being. I'm guessing it's not your overall ambition in life but it pays the bills for now and you don't hate it. Sometimes that's as good as it gets.

If my bf were doing such work it would make me giggle a bit (as I just can't picture him enjoying that), but it certainly wouldn't bother me.

lol, yeah exactly. Feels a bit silly sometimes, and no - definitely not my ambition, i'm actually training to be a teacher. But the money is great and it's helping me through my studies - and i need that as much as i can get.

I would say it depends on how serious the relationship is. If she's just a play thing and you don't see you two together for very long I wouldn't worry about it. However, if it is serious, and the potential for marriage is there, then I have to agree with her. Some things you just don't share with strangers.

I'd just laugh and enjoy the ride and extra cash

best wishes on your situation

if the money's "great" and it's NOT porn then enjoy the ride!! Sit your girl down and tell her, "In this economy..."

I wouldn't want to be with someone who had those types of issues, so I would end it.

JustErin said:

I wouldn't want to be with someone who had those types of issues, so I would end it.

i did.

She claimed "most women" would have the same issues that she did. But from the few kind replies on here so far, it seems she might be mistaken. She was someone i cared about, but i feel i did nothing wrong and she was happy for me to do it at first, until her jealousy got in the way. I can only handle open minded people in my life now i think.

ScottRob said:

JustErin said:

I wouldn't want to be with someone who had those types of issues, so I would end it.

i did.

She claimed "most women" would have the same issues that she did. But from the few kind replies on here so far, it seems she might be mistaken. She was someone i cared about, but i feel i did nothing wrong and she was happy for me to do it at first, until her jealousy got in the way. I can only handle open minded people in my life now i think.

I think she's right. Most woman would have the same issues but that doesn't mean that you just have to be accepting of them. It's unfortunate that many women think that way, but you'll be able to find one that doesn't, I'm sure.

Unless your girlfriend found you suitable alternate work, she didn't have a damn thing to do with it! Woman can be such idiots. In this economy, she should have been grateful that you were able to get a job paying decent money without having to risk life or limb. You dumped her simple ass, right? Good for you!

Oops. Duplicate.

[Edited 11/3/10 11:24am]

Well if she didn't get possessive on you before you got the job, then she has no reason to get possessive of you now. Sounds like she has a trust issue with you. When it comes to a person's living, as long as it is legal and it isn't hurting anyone else, I don't see why she has the right to give you an ultimatum. Is she going to help you find another job if you were to decide that you wanted to quit? Would she be willing to help pay your bills until you found something else? Those are relevant questions to ask yourself when it comes to her and when she brings it up again, ask her those questions and see how she responds. I say, if you enjoy doing it and the money is good, then do you and continue on with it. I wouldn't quit just because someone else wants me to quit. That's blasphemy.

Shyra said:

Unless your girlfriend found you suitable alternate work, she didn't have a damn thing to do with it! Woman can be such idiots. In this economy, she should have been grateful that you were able to get a job paying decent money without having to risk life or limb. You dumped her simple ass, right? Good for you!

Yeah, it all came to a head when she'd seen some photos of me that had been taken by a female photographer.Sshe just couldn't handle it, and although i'd never given her any reason to not trust me, she felt that in some way, i'd been unfaithful just for letting another woman see me in that way.

ScottRob said:

Shyra said:

Unless your girlfriend found you suitable alternate work, she didn't have a damn thing to do with it! Woman can be such idiots. In this economy, she should have been grateful that you were able to get a job paying decent money without having to risk life or limb. You dumped her simple ass, right? Good for you!

Yeah, it all came to a head when she'd seen some photos of me that had been taken by a female photographer.Sshe just couldn't handle it, and although i'd never given her any reason to not trust me, she felt that in some way, i'd been unfaithful just for letting another woman see me in that way.

Then she has issues and you're better off without her. BUT, she might have been using that lame excuse to get out of the relationship herself. Was she upset when you dumped her or did she act relieved? Or did she dump you first?

Just curious, if the photographer had been male, would she been bothered by him, too?

Shyra said:

ScottRob said:

Yeah, it all came to a head when she'd seen some photos of me that had been taken by a female photographer.Sshe just couldn't handle it, and although i'd never given her any reason to not trust me, she felt that in some way, i'd been unfaithful just for letting another woman see me in that way.

Then she has issues and you're better off without her. BUT, she might have been using that lame excuse to get out of the relationship herself. Was she upset when you dumped her or did she act relieved? Or did she dump you first?

Just curious, if the photographer had been male, would she been bothered by him, too?

lol. i don't think she was relieved, but you never know i suppose! She's certainly not acting it, as she still calls and texts. Funny, i thought the same thing as you about the sex of the photographer...

A friend of mine is a dancer, and she has loads of work on, so much so, that she hasn't had much time for her boyfriend. So, he gave her an ultimatum "me or the dancing" - it was horrible!!! She had a show to do the night he told her that, and her dancing was so half-hearted, poor thing struggling not to cry for 2 sets.

"DANCE is my LIFE!" she said

and he got dropped

ScottRob said:

Shyra said:

Unless your girlfriend found you suitable alternate work, she didn't have a damn thing to do with it! Woman can be such idiots. In this economy, she should have been grateful that you were able to get a job paying decent money without having to risk life or limb. You dumped her simple ass, right? Good for you!

Yeah, it all came to a head when she'd seen some photos of me that had been taken by a female photographer.Sshe just couldn't handle it, and although i'd never given her any reason to not trust me, she felt that in some way, i'd been unfaithful just for letting another woman see me in that way.

Photography IS intimate, but probably not in the way someone might think.

I always fall in love with my subject somehow, in my mind - I HAVE to, to capture the beauty.

But that's it! It doesn't carry past the lens

My husband isn't jealous of the men (or women) I photograph, even though he sees me fixated for hours in post processing

ZombieKitten said:

ScottRob said:

Yeah, it all came to a head when she'd seen some photos of me that had been taken by a female photographer.Sshe just couldn't handle it, and although i'd never given her any reason to not trust me, she felt that in some way, i'd been unfaithful just for letting another woman see me in that way.

Photography IS intimate, but probably not in the way someone might think.

I always fall in love with my subject somehow, in my mind - I HAVE to, to capture the beauty.

But that's it! It doesn't carry past the lens

My husband isn't jealous of the men (or women) I photograph, even though he sees me fixated for hours in post processing

lol. i understand what you mean. But i don't think a lot of the photos i pose for are as arty as i expect the ones you take are. i think for some reason tho, nudity itself can be more intimate for some, than others. It's never bothered me, but i can appreciate for others it's a bigger deal.

ScottRob said:

For about three months or so I've been doing a job that is a bit different. i've been working as a kind of body model. It's not as glamorous as it sounds - it's not catwalk or magazines or anything classy like that i'm afraid. It's just body, not face - i'm no johnny depp, believe me. Basically, i pose for art classes, discussion groups, underwear catalogues, things like that. But it's just underwear and nude stuff - so not everybody's cup of tea. It's not particularly challenging, but people are nice and money is great.

My girlfriend at the time of being offered the job, thought it was interesting and kinda cool, but as it's gone on, she became more and more possessive and jealous about it. To the point that last week, she said it was me or the job.

How would you react if your partner started doing what I was doing?

i'd say 'good for you, doing what you want to do and getting paid'

i think if i were you i wouldn't like her telling me what i can and can't do.

ZombieKitten said:

ScottRob said:

Yeah, it all came to a head when she'd seen some photos of me that had been taken by a female photographer.Sshe just couldn't handle it, and although i'd never given her any reason to not trust me, she felt that in some way, i'd been unfaithful just for letting another woman see me in that way.

Photography IS intimate, but probably not in the way someone might think.

I always fall in love with my subject somehow, in my mind - I HAVE to, to capture the beauty.

But that's it! It doesn't carry past the lens

My husband isn't jealous of the men (or women) I photograph, even though he sees me fixated for hours in post processing

cool. do you think whoever photographed ScottRob could have invested a bit of emotional, erm, curiosity? or even lust? maybe his girlfriend picked up on that and got pissy. hard to say from here

XxAxX said:

ZombieKitten said:

Photography IS intimate, but probably not in the way someone might think.

I always fall in love with my subject somehow, in my mind - I HAVE to, to capture the beauty.

But that's it! It doesn't carry past the lens

My husband isn't jealous of the men (or women) I photograph, even though he sees me fixated for hours in post processing

cool. do you think whoever photographed ScottRob could have invested a bit of emotional, erm, curiosity? or even lust? maybe his girlfriend picked up on that and got pissy. hard to say from here

lol. well i could show you some of the photos she took to get your opinion on that, but probably not best on here! lol

ScottRob said:

ZombieKitten said:

Photography IS intimate, but probably not in the way someone might think.

I always fall in love with my subject somehow, in my mind - I HAVE to, to capture the beauty.

But that's it! It doesn't carry past the lens

My husband isn't jealous of the men (or women) I photograph, even though he sees me fixated for hours in post processing

lol. i understand what you mean. But i don't think a lot of the photos i pose for are as arty as i expect the ones you take are. i think for some reason tho, nudity itself can be more intimate for some, than others. It's never bothered me, but i can appreciate for others it's a bigger deal.

mine aren't arty at all, they are pretty straight forwards commercial most of the time.

XxAxX said:

ZombieKitten said:

Photography IS intimate, but probably not in the way someone might think.

I always fall in love with my subject somehow, in my mind - I HAVE to, to capture the beauty.

But that's it! It doesn't carry past the lens

My husband isn't jealous of the men (or women) I photograph, even though he sees me fixated for hours in post processing

cool. do you think whoever photographed ScottRob could have invested a bit of emotional, erm, curiosity? or even lust? maybe his girlfriend picked up on that and got pissy. hard to say from here

dunno, I know that unless I am already fucking that person, I doubt I would be lusting after them unless of course I knew already that they wanted to fuck me, in which case that would make things difficult and I would not accept the job.

ZombieKitten said:

XxAxX said:

cool. do you think whoever photographed ScottRob could have invested a bit of emotional, erm, curiosity? or even lust? maybe his girlfriend picked up on that and got pissy. hard to say from here

dunno, I know that unless I am already fucking that person, I doubt I would be lusting after them unless of course I knew already that they wanted to fuck me, in which case that would make things difficult and I would not accept the job.

so in your art it's an impersonal kind of falling in love with your subject. y'know, you should just ScottRob's girlfriend and explain things

XxAxX said:

ZombieKitten said:

dunno, I know that unless I am already fucking that person, I doubt I would be lusting after them unless of course I knew already that they wanted to fuck me, in which case that would make things difficult and I would not accept the job.

so in your art it's an impersonal kind of falling in love with your subject. y'know, you should just ScottRob's girlfriend and explain things

yes, the "relationship" is contained inside my head during the session, but is clear to see in the pictures (I'm usually hoping).

I have had a father of one of my subjects complain my photos were too sexualised. Yes, I thought he was beautiful and I wanted to capture his fear, or longing, or whatever it might be that his dilated pupils may have represented (really caused by a dark room LOL) he remained fully dressed and the time I spent with him was actually full of laughs and joking around, but the photos express what I was feeling, and the child's (he was 17) dad could see it.

ScottRob said:

Shyra said:

Then she has issues and you're better off without her. BUT, she might have been using that lame excuse to get out of the relationship herself. Was she upset when you dumped her or did she act relieved? Or did she dump you first?

Just curious, if the photographer had been male, would she been bothered by him, too?

lol. i don't think she was relieved, but you never know i suppose! She's certainly not acting it, as she still calls and texts. Funny, i thought the same thing as you about the sex of the photographer...

I bet she was worried about what others will think. She's calling now because somebody talked some sense into her. Good on you for dismissing her.

babynoz said:

ScottRob said:

lol. i don't think she was relieved, but you never know i suppose! She's certainly not acting it, as she still calls and texts. Funny, i thought the same thing as you about the sex of the photographer...

I bet she was worried about what others will think. She's calling now because somebody talked some sense into her. Good on you for dismissing her.

ZombieKitten said:

XxAxX said:

so in your art it's an impersonal kind of falling in love with your subject. y'know, you should just ScottRob's girlfriend and explain things

yes, the "relationship" is contained inside my head during the session, but is clear to see in the pictures (I'm usually hoping).

I have had a father of one of my subjects complain my photos were too sexualised. Yes, I thought he was beautiful and I wanted to capture his fear, or longing, or whatever it might be that his dilated pupils may have represented (really caused by a dark room LOL) he remained fully dressed and the time I spent with him was actually full of laughs and joking around, but the photos express what I was feeling, and the child's (he was 17) dad could see it.

way cool. neat the way you approach your art. i would love to see more of your work someday!